Spaceofawareness

@Bazooka Jesus yes, I believe this is what is needed. Once you re-discover your self, free of all the baggage of the world, there is a natural love for all and oneself which will flow forth.

Not feeling anymore to me is an emotional disconnection or detachment, which is actually a recognised disorder. I actually recognised I have mild symptoms of emotional detachment, which is probably a symptom of a more underlying issue, e,g, depression. I actually was able to reconnect at least temporarily, listening to music which opened a back door to this blockage of emotion. Maybe you could try this. The way it happened for me was, I realised I had this emotional detachment issue, and listening to a certain song which typically I find very deep and taps into something deep inside me, I was listening all alone, and therefore became more open to the music, not predicting the music, but feeling it, letting it in, and like a flood of emotion came out, tears, of joy actually. im not saying it will work for you, but it worked for me, and following that I had an awakening as well.

Here’s my take on it. You can’t imagine what your life would be like by that age, it seems so far off and so foreign compared to your current life. Maybe you have a lot of growing up to do still, so your understanding mind can’t predict or imagine yourself being of that age and being in a mature adult life. This just means you still have some growing up to do, and it will happen, life has a way of presenting opportunities for growth, so as long as you take advantage of these opportunities and don’t live in fear of the uncertain, you will grow and progress. Your rational mind has taken these feelings of uncertainty about your future, and created the rationalisation, “I can’t imagine myself at age 30, so maybe I won’t live to this age, maybe I have no future.” Don’t believe this, if you do, you will remain child like, never progressing, and then maybe you WILL have no future WORTH living past the age of 30. Instead, understand this is your mind trying to hold you back from an uncertain future. Understand that in uncertainty lies a future WORTH HAVING. Dream big enough to aim for something you might actually care about achieving, and therefore will actually take action. Having a dream is a navigation point to guide you into the future, something to aim for and guide your actions for a worthy cause. Your rationalising mind doesn’t believe you can achieve your goals, but the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals IS THIS VERY THING! If you realise this, then say no to it, cast it aside and push on, determined!

My advice would be, don’t get too attached to this state, it will go at some stage, but you will still be able to observe your states, just not with as much inner peace and equanimity. Try and observe this new observer state if possible.

Instead of focusing on being as masculine as possible, realise that there are positive and negative aspects to masculinity, as well as femininity. For example, positive aspects of masculinity might include: -confidence from competence -taking right action when required, helping others in need -being in control of ones emotions, while still remaining in touch with them. -not allowing people to mistreat you, by drawing clear boundaries around what is okay and what is not -being confident enough to admit flaws Negative aspects of masculinity to avoid: -unnecessary aggressive behaviours or verbal threats -shunning of different people -making fun of people who don’t act as masculine as you -being racist/chauvinistic -showing off when you are covering up for a weakness these are just a few things to work on, I haven’t even touched upon feminine traits, and yes, men have feminine traits as well as masculine, as do women have masculine traits as well as feminine. Good luck with the dating thing, glad I don’t have to do that as I’ve been married over 10 years with 2 kids.

@Peter-Andre I wonder if the state you seem to enter comes from a dissolution of observer and observed, so they become one. This seems to indicate an intuitive realisation that the self you believe you are up to that point is an illusion, you realise there is no you, only experience. I would say that there were times where the state faded, and required internal observing to bring it back to full awareness. Furthermore though, I don’t think the state I reached was necessarily 100%, and without experiencing higher or fuller states of awareness, spaciousness and detachment I can’t say exactly at what percentage of realisation my previous state was. Now that the state has subsided, I still have the sense of self awareness of internal and external states, but it can take more time to realise them, and there is no inner spaciousness and calmness which was also related to the detachment. Only time will tell whether meditation practice can restore any of these states, though from descriptions of benefits and states I have read, the state you describe may be a taste of what is to come.

Hi Peter, What you describe sounds like some kind of awakening experience. Can I ask, when you were in this state, did it feel like as you observed everything, including yourself, did it feel like you were watching yourself from a place external to where you normally do, or were you fully grounded in your body? Did you have any sense of spaciousness, or inner calmness, as a result of this state? The reason I ask these questions is that what you describe sounds similar to an experience I had a few months ago, see Here for my description of my experience of this “detached observer” state. I too am looking for more information on this state. I’m not sure if your state is exactly the same as mine, as I didn’t have the sense that “I’m alive”. This sounds like the “I am” state which people come to realise after much meditation on the nature of their own self. But the description of heightened awareness of self and the world is similar to mine.

So, what’s the difference between an awesome game or movie, and your current real life reality? In those movies or games we all know and love, the main character is faced with some kind of ultimatum, and events conspire to force them into an adventure, where they discover they are more capable than they could have ever imagined. They are forced out of their comfort zone, compelled by some looming catastrophe to act. In real life its a bit different, there is no looming catastrophe, things are pretty comfortable and stable, we go to our jobs or study etc, we come home to relative comfort, there are no great challenges or obstacles. As Leo has been telling us, we need to find something we really care about, that will take us out of our comfort zone, push us to become more than we currently are, for something greater than ourselves.

Thanks, i have read that this observer state is ultimately not an end goal. It did contain equanimity due to the calm detached state but I think as I came to identify as the observer, the ego reattached then, when I should have been trying to observe this new observer state as an object also (though I have heard that is rather difficult). Here’s how I imagine it, my awareness one day split off from experience, creating this space, or separate bubbles or boundaries, allowing awareness to observe with a sense of space and equanimity or detachment. But as I continued to be in this state, the two bubble came back together, still separate but rejoined, and the ego self could then work through the detached awareness. Eventually, the two merged back, and so I am left with the memory of the state, the ability to still observe my states, but still being in them or as them. I don’t know if this is a good metaphor for what happened, but it kind of sounds right. I do find it more difficult to observe the ego, as it is so close again, but I can do it, but whereas before I could catch thing as they were coming, or sometimes before they came, now I seem to observe states of the ego after they happen, and as the ego.

Hi, I recently had something which could probably be described as a kind of spiritual awakening. Maybe 3-4 months ago, I had been toying with mindfulness during work (I do repetitive physical work so found a way to bring it into my routine), and was not formally practicing mindfulness or meditation, but I began to observe my thoughts. After a while it felt like I could see my thoughts in a detached kind of way, like it didn’t feel like I was thinking them, more like thoughts were appearing, like I was almost observing them from the outside. I began to use this detached observation more and more, it started to appear without effort, it helped me to reduce stress, to control my emotions, to identify bad habits and stop them in their tracks, to see negative thoughts coming from my ego and let them go, to improve my relationships by being more open and caring. After a while it felt as though this was a new state, it stuck around for maybe 2 months, I could feel it as soon as I woke up, a vivid awareness, I would describe it as “coming on line”. I would continue observing my internal state as often as I could through the day. It became my new way of being. It created within a “space” or cushioning between my experiences and me. I felt as though I was this “observer” now, as I had called it. After about 2 months, it started to fade. It was like I was getting a taste of what was possible, and now I must do the work to earn it. So I have begun to practice mindfulness now, though this detached observer with space is not currently accessible. I can still obviously observe myself internally, however, I feel identified with what I observe, and so, for instance if I am observing anger, I am IN that anger, not looking at it externally as I was before. I have heard this “watcher” or “observer” state can come upon people and wake them up in a sense, but that it is transient. I think it was a mistake for me to get attached to this state, as with all experiences, it was impermanent. I am grateful to have had such an experience, though I know now I shouldn’t be trying to attain it again, but rather continue to increase my level of mindfulness or awareness. I am wondering if other people have had similar experiences, and if so could you share your thoughts and how you have progressed in your path since then? thanks.