Spaceofawareness

I see, and know what you mean, the sense of I does melt away. Is there a sense of awareness? Or existence itself? It sounds like you have seen through the aggregates of self. is there any separation between perceptions and the perceiving of them? Or is there just what’s happening?

@egoeimai it means instead of looking out there for signs, turn that eye inwards, it’s time for self realisation. You ability to notice is developing, that is what the numbers are a sign of. Noticing is part of awakening. Now notice who is noticing.

@Kksd74628 I would recommend that, if you have had some shift in identity already, such that you realise yourself to be consciousness, or awareness, or the sense “I am”, then you need be leaning towards non dual realisation, and collapsing that separation between the one who thinks they are and what they perceive as objects of awareness. if you haven’t quite gotten to that initial shift, of resting in that sense of awareness, or “I Am”, keep trying the self inquiry, but don’t do it actively. Don’t literally sit there and talk in your head. If there are still thoughts running through your head and you can’t just thoughtlessly sit with the question of who am I, maybe try more mindfulness practices. Observing the breath is great, do it as often as possible, throughout the day. Also observe when you walk, notice the steps. Notice any physical bodily movement if you can, stay as present as you can with the body. if you keep up this observation, you will likely notice a shift in the sense of identity, from the body, to observing the body. This can then be further refined to observing thoughts, etc. Eventually it will solidify into purely the sense of awareness, or “I Am”. Then, just rest there for as long as you wish. From there, start delving into nondual realisation.

The question is, how can the illusion of separation be broken or seen through? Self inquiry is a good option. Look for the observer. There only seems an observer when the “objects” are focussed on. Instead, when an object is observed, turn it around on itself, look for the one looking. If what is found has any properties, it is itself an object. Look for where you are looking from. Is there anything there? No. How about within the rest of the field of awareness? The observer is not to be found. There is just subjectless knowing. What does that say about this knowing? It has no location. It can be localised when a single thing is focussed on, but the reality is, it’s not at anywhere in particular.

I can resonate with you to some extent, having a recent awakening, a family, wife and two young kids. I have maintained my relationships wherever possible, though I think there is little doubt among my coworkers and friends that something has changed here. Yet thankfully, the people I have in my life accept me for who I am, I am a no frills kind of person, not really interested in small talk, etc. Yet this past year, it is connections from people in my life which I have been attempting to turn around. I think it is those connections, even the seemingly least significant, which can support you through this, so you aren’t just alone on this journey. i can’t say it’s been that successful, though, it hasn’t hurt either. I have always felt a bit weird compared to most people I know. Most guys I know like sports, etc. I have no interest in this kind of thing, so finding ways to connect with them is difficult, yet, I find as long as you are present, you can find some way. Right now, if you are detached, it is like being in a bubble or cave, things seem distant, you seem apart from the world, not A part of it. The tendency seems to be to remain in this state, and you likely find it very easy to remain detached, from emotions, in yourself, observing instead of engaging. i feel like this must run its course, yet, at least in my case, it doesn’t stay, you return to your old life, old ways, feeling a sense of loss, trying to regain what you had. But you retain that memory, or essence of what you learned, but, must now bring it INTO your everyday life and experiences, going from division to union, yet remaining as you are. Don’t force anything, just let it unfold, yet, in your situation, try to keep those connections alive for when the return happens, so you can reintegrate everything.

Awakening is just the beginning, and, what you are experiencing and feeling now, will also wane again, maybe sooner, maybe not so soon. But your life stays with you, and because those connections are going to always be a part of you, seeing as you have a family with kids, they will always be a connection to your heart. You saw them emerge into this life, as part of you, nurtured them, watched them grow, shared experiences. Its like in quantum physics, when two particles become entangled, they are essentially linked, what happens to one effects the other and vice versa. Your life, your heart, has become entangled with at minimum your child, even if the connection with your wife may have weakened. But remember, the connection between your wife and son is the same. Yet if your wife and your connections polarity changes, that also creates the division between you and the child, which means a piece of you also becomes divided. Division means suffering. You may be feeling a sense of detachment from your life, the world, things probably seem like an illusion. And while on some level they can be interpreted that way, in other ways, the detachment is also illusory, because that IS you. And you don’t want yourself to become divided. So this will require some resolution at some stage, or suffering will occur. It may seem that this life is illusory, yet, there is no other life outside of this one. i don’t know how candid you have been about this whole process to your wife, but if you can somehow include her in this rather than shutting her out, it sounds like it could only help. Good luck.

To me, awareness is the sense of knowing something. It that which allows knowing. Knowing can encompass, observation of the senses, thoughts, etc. it also contains an inherent sense of being here, fully present. It is the feeling of clarity, without distraction, with an accompanying self knowing element, which is best described by the usage of a loop or feedback by analogy.

As the title suggests, I thought it might be interesting to try to track and quantify people’s current state of awakening, to form a kind of dashboard of sorts. Ill give you my vitals: path: awakening of awareness description: awoke to detached awareness bit over a year ago noticed observer like state of awareness Became space-like bliss ability to catch ego arising and observe it and stop reactions continued for 3-4 months consistently slowly over course of few weeks faded back to norma, ego identification practices began with paying attention to breath, bodily sensations as I worked physical job upon awakening, continued to observe this way inconsistent meditation practice - 2-3 times a week, 20-30 minute sessions, occasional longer bursts self inquiry - listened to mooji consistently non-dual inquiry Current awareness mostly feeling identified with ego quick to anger, feelings of stress not detached or spacelike difficulty being mindful still able to notice I am awareness - only glimpses now here I would open the floor to people, to offer suggestions, comments etc. i also welcome anyone else who would like to share or assess themselves, in hopes of both becoming more aware of their current state of awareness, as well as allowing others to offer help and assessment of further development.

What if the truth is, the reason why you don’t go full mahasamahdi and pull the trigger is, deep down you still believe this body and this life is supporting this awareness. It may all be an invention, but, what if it’s all contingent on something outside of your own awareness, something that your own awareness is contingent on. the perception of a world may be contingent on this awareness which creates this world, but, what is this awareness contingent upon or supervening from? Something which awareness can never know, no doubt. Yet, it must be something. Why would this illusionary world exist, if it didn’t at least coincide with something homomorphic to the illusion? You imagine that when you awake from this matrix, that something different is “outside” of it. Yet, there is no real awakening into something different. What you awaken to, is that this subjective world is created inside your own awareness, including the you you thought you were. To actually exit this matrix, would actually be to die. Instead, in our case, You realise this was all created, yet, you remain IN the matrix, or inside your own creation. Awareness can only ever know itself from inside itself. It’s like a bubble. What’s outside the bubble, gets projected internally inside this bubble of awareness. The boundary between the inside and outside is the limit of what is ever possible to know. Outside the bubble of awareness is not accessible, only through the internal impressions that whatever lies outside the bubble make on it. So, what if, when you burst the bubble, that’s it, no more bubble? No more awareness, no more you. That seems more likely to me. The bubble can only ever know anything from inside the bubble. I realise this make me one if one of those people who believe in an external world. What I think is, that external world can only ever be known from inside this bubble. There are many other bubbles in this world, at different viewpoints, with different histories. Most of those bubbles imagine the imagery inside the bubble to be the actual external world. Some of those bubbles realise that whatever occurs inside the bubble is not actually what is out there, but can only be impressions from whatever exists outside, on the very thing which they are. Yet, some of those bubbles take it a step further, and say, because this bubble can only ever know anything from inside the bubble, all there is this bubble. Those impressions aren’t actually from something outside of this bubble, but actually just spontaneously arising. This bubble isn’t actually a bubble, but, is in fact the entire of existence. Everything happening in this bubble doesn’t actually coincide with anything, because all there is, is this awareness.

If you are looking to get back into your body, I don’t think body scans are the best thing, maybe some kind of yoga? You need to connect awareness with body, rather than observing body, which will create more separation. From my my limited experience, body scans made my awareness feel distinct from the body, unless there is a nondualistic way of body scanning,

@electroBeam Sometimes when we are dreaming, we just want to roll over and go back to sleep. But what you are saying is, you woke from the dream to realise, the waking from a dream was also dreamed. So, now that you know this, what is there to do? The dream is already off the plate, living a normie life, but now spirituality, awakening, all that, is also seen as a dream. They say, “call off the search”, well, you’ve called it off. Now what? No now, can’t just be. What happens now?

From the perspective of consciousness, it is made of itself. Godel’s incompleteness theorem essentially states that a system cannot prove itself using itself, it needs to use something outside itself, and likewise consciousness cannot explain itself from consciousness, but unfortunately, there is nothing knowable outside of consciousness, so, it must remain a mystery.

You are the awareness, nothingness, space, whatever you want to call it. Just be that, as you are, not as something else, like the formless wearing the form.

At what point does one deem this forum to be too crackpot? I mean, I’m open minded, but this is some radical open mindedness to believe those stories. i guess... I mean, aliens are almost certainly out there, and they may take the form or similar to that of reptiles. I guess my bullshit detector is just a bit over sensitive.

You could say the ego is parasitic on experience, it piggybacks off it.