Shiva99

Yes.

Hi, I'm planning on getting back into weightlifting. Right now i'm exercising 3-5 days a week ( running ) and i like it a lot, but i would like to add weightlifting back into my weekly routine. My goals is to get a decent physique, and i want it to be obvious that i visit the gym. I don't want to become a bodybuilder or anything like that, but i would like to build a decent amount of mass. How many times would i need to go to the gym every week? I was thinking about 3 days a week for an hour every session, but i'm not sure if this is enough for my goal. Especially since i also want to keep running. Also how do i build muscle mass while at the same time being a runner? Is this just a matter of eating enough calories every day? Any advice is welcome.

What about calorie intake? Do you eat more because you are also running? I now run 3-6 miles 3-5 times a week.

No they are not open. I'm just planning on when they open again . Do you mean 2 days off without any exercise at all?

I'm trying to improve myself like mad, and in the end it all seems worthless, and nothing works out. I started taking care of myself, my sleep, my diet. I'm exercising on a regular basis, i'm meditating an hour every morning. At this point i left almost all my addictions behind me ( only coffee left), yet my life keeps going in a bad direction. The biggest problem is that my self confidence is very low, and i'm basically self doubting all the time. As soon as i enter my work environment there is this cloud above me that is induced by fear. I become another person that is scared to show, and do what comes to mind. Because of this i act akward, make stupid mistakes and colleagues start to think that i can't do anything right. My boss tells me he doesn't know what to think of me etc. I'm again so hopeless. I really don't know what i have to do, or why i deserve this.

If i slack off i will start gambling again, watching porn a lot etc. I will stop exercising, eating relatively healthy and simply not care about anything. It happened several times in the past. If i don't force myself all the time nothing at all will happen and my life will fall apart around me as it did before. It will make me feel very bad.

Hey, thanks for your response. I think i'm mostly driven by negative motivation. It's very hard for me to do something unforcefully. If i let go, nothing will happen, and i will start to slack really fast really bad. I've been there plenty of times. Doing things out of negative motivation and forcing myself works the best for me for now. I'm not sure how i can meditate more right now. There is simply not enough time in my days. When i come home from work i force myself to go for a run, have dinner etc and then it's time to sleep again. It's very hard to be present cuz i'm always busy doing things to keep up with the basics from collapsing.

Wow i like it a lot. Very nice.

Being very frustrated with myself helped a lot. I saw how i couldn't do shit for myself, and because of that i had to make the changes or else i would suffer a lot, so i left myself no choice. David Goggins also helped me a lot. I started Building basic discipline by running etc and doing everything i didn't want to do. It's still a struggle sometimes, but it can't get the upperhand anymore like it did in the past. Also death contemplation and Life Purpose together with dharma helps me a lot.

My dad was very absent in my upbringin, and also never showed/expressed emotions and was hard as a rock. He was a grumpy man 24/7. He never allowed for anyone at home to show their emotions, and when someone did, he always became angry at them for overreacting. I've only seen him cry once and that's when his mother died. Because of this i only learned to deal with my emotions later on in life, and i would have it pent up as a child/teenager. My mother was way too overprotective and clingy. Because of this she never really let me do stuff for myself, and always did it for me. Going for something simple as grocery shopping was something i only started doing at late 18s. This definitely damaged me early on, and made me a weak crybaby. As soon as something became hard i used to give up very fast etc etc.

Hi, I've been contemplating on how i can come closer to reaching my LP, but atm i don't see any way of getting where i need to be, without getting myself a loan from the bank. My situation right now is that i'm working full time, living by myself, and almost all my money goes towards paying my bills, rent, etc.. I can barely save anything, and if i do, it almost always goes to unexpected stuff that comes up. For my LP, i have to move to a different city, that has a college that allows me to get my bachelor's degree by going to class at night, and work during the day. This will be hard, but i'm ready to face it. however, it will cost me a lot of money at the start, which i don't have right now. Saving up will take me way too long. I'm also reaching 28, and i don't wanna wait much longer on starting this journey. I'm just scared of taking a loan, and worry that it will become a burden over time, since i obviously have to pay for it every month, at least 3 years down the road. Any tips/advice is welcome.

Today was a very, very bad day. I've been battling financial problems over the past few weeks because of having no job and bills to pay, and i've been hanging on for dear life. Surviving with a minimum amount of food (barely any), almost a totally empty bank account ( 5 bucks), no money on my phone to call etc etc. All of this to stay out of debt, paying bills on time. I was on survival mode, but i was getting by, and even though maybe it was not healthy at times i felt proud of myself. Today however, i broke down and lost it. The only means of transportation i had left was my bicycle, and some people in my residency thought it was funny to mess with it, stealing my bags i use for grocery shopping, flattening my tires etc etc. My tires were flat, and as stupid as it may sound, i didn't have any money to fix it at all. The only means of getting to my job at this point would have been a busride ( again no money for it, and didn't wanna risk not paying because of moral and very high fines), or a 3 hour walk back and forth, and for some reason i bursted down in tears and lost it. I contacted my social worker, and again i bursted out in tears in front of her, which is when i started feeling intense feelings of shame. She very much understood my situation, offering me money so i could survive this week ( started new job 3 weeks ago and getting paid soon), but at first i couldn't accept it at all. I felt like a huge failure, having to loan money from her, not being able to make it myself. For some reason this feeling is still here with me right now , and it's verry annoying. I feel ashamed for having cried in front of her, and also because i had to loan money. I obviously will pay it back soon, but the very act of having to loan money like this is feeling like a total defeat for me.

I'm using the "Do nothing" method for meditation. It's the only method that resonates with me.

Yes, i understand. I know what you are talking about, but i can't stay as awareness. I'm meditating 1 hour every morning, but it's not paying off yet. Especially when i enter the job environment, and get surrouned by colleaugues, for some reason there is a huge pull from my mind, and i can't just be, i feel like i become stuck between my thoughts in my mind, and it starts looping in itself endlessly.

I've known about NoFap for at least 5 years, but i'm still not sure what to think about it. The first time i tried quitting porn and masturbation, it was very very hard. I couldn't even last a day without it. It was very obvious i was using it to mask some kind of pain. I kept up with it and i've had plenty of streaks, my highest being around 130 days. I still remember it vividly, and i was feeling amazing. It always feels amazing after a while. It's like all the missing pieces come together, and it unlocks another "me", maybe who i am supposed to be all the time. These last few weeks however, i fell of the horse with NoFap, and started using porn heavily again. Fapping away at it once a day is enough to suck all the motivation out of me. I feel totally and utterly shit, tired for at least a week. It's like a fire that extinguishes. I'm even starting to wonder if i have low T, and i might get it checked soon, since i'm such a different person after being on NoFap for a while. This is exactly why it's such a dilemma for me. On NoFap, hard things become much easier. Sticking to meditation, exercise etc is so much easier when i'm on NoFap. Conversations flow normally, i look people in the eyes much more and my anxiety is decreased by 70%. It's an extra burst of energy, but i'm wondering after all this time if i'm not just fooling myself and using NoFap as an excuse to not take action/take action, and if this all is still placebo effect. Maybe i just conditioned myself to feel good on a NoFap streak and feel bad when i "relapse"...

On my longest streak (130 days) the benefits became normal. It was not that obvious anymore that something had changed, until i relapsed. I never had it impact my sleep.

It's true ur dopamine shoots up when u look at naked woman lol. Dopamine dependency is a real and legit thing. Try quitting all social media, electronic devices ,internet etc and see what happens. You are more dependant on dopamine highs than u expect. Cal Newport has a good book on it.

I won't experience the good effects when i fap at this rate. Takes about a week to start noticing a difference in my mood etc. From there it keeps getting better until like week 3. At week 3 i mostly hit a flatline and after that is gone i'm on top of the world.

Hmm i don't know man. What about the loss of energy and foggy head i get after indulging in it?

Hi, I've been in the exact same situation. It's a very bad thing when a mother builds almost her whole identity around the upbringing of her child. Obviously it's normal to an extend, but as i understand here, it is a pretty toxic "relationship" you are having right now. What you have to do is set clear boundaries, tell her she has to respect them, and also tell her what happens when she doesn't. She needs to learn that you are not her property. The guilt you are feeling, being responsible for her happiness is a big red flag. You are NOT responsible for her happiness. She is. Jordan Peterson has a very good video on this topic.

It can workout, but chances are very slim. There is a very high chance on ego backlashes by implementing too much at once. Been there done that. I suggest daily meditation immediately after waking up, add in some exercise, and start working on your diet to begin with. These 3 habits will create a very decent leverage for the rest of your actualization path if done consistently. At least in my opinion.

I second this. It's a very good book and it also helped me and many others quit.

I really don't know what the fuck to do anymore with myself. I'm totally clueless as to how to go about anything at this point. My life is falling apart around me, for the 50th time, and i know this pattern way too well, but i can't stop it, no matter what i do. I went on a gambling spree, porn spree, started eating shit, drinking alcohol, totally ruined my sleep schedule, didn't do anything to improve myself anymore, and basically started to not care about anything. At this point i'm even in debt, which is something i never thought would happen to me. It's only about €300, but for me that's a lot of money, especially at this moment. Right now i'm totally broke, no more money to even buy food, to do literally anything. Thank god i still have at least some food stored in my place, and i will receive more money in about 4 days, but that doesn't change the way i feel right now at all. I'm so sad and confused, especially because i know i have so much potential if this demon wouldn't take over my life everytime. I don't know why this keeps happening to me, but i sure as hell want it to stop. I feel so powerless. A month ago i was meditating, running at least 3 times a week, eating relatively healthy, my mood was decent etc etc and now in such a short period of time it all went downhill. It started slowly by skipping a day of running, and it kept going from there. It always does. It always happens that way. I stop doing something small and than i stop everything all together and ruin everything. I know i can reverse all of this, but i really don't see the point anymore because i know i won't go through with it. I know i will just end up in the same place, because it has been over 10 times like this already. I know if i start meditating again, i will do it for a week or two and drop it. I know if i start running i will drop it again too. I can't go through with anything. Because i get bored, because all of a sudden i just don't care. I keep wondering wtf is wrong with me all the time.

No i don't want it. I want a stable normal lifestyle. I always start these habits with the intention of making them stick, not to throw them away a month or two later and not caring about it anymore. I've also been wanting to become a Psychologist for a very long time now, but for some reason i always lose interest in pursuing it. But, whenever i stop it, it will always come back in my mind. You are telling me it's because i don't want it deep down? I don't understand any of this.

Drop everything and let life take care of you. Much more fun.