Shiva99

Yesterday i went to sleep around 9pm and i woke up at 4am this morning. Sleep schedule started. My first meditation sessions of the day was pretty easy, and immediately after that i went for a run. Feelsgood. Pretty interesting experience to run in the woods all by myself when it's still pitch black outside. Definitely experienced some primal instincts. I came back home and took a cold shower, and then visited a new hairdresser. It was a good experience, and i liked talking with the woman. She was pretty hot too. I told her i will definitely come back in the future and asked her name hehe. Pretty interesting how much shit i can get done if i put my mind to it. Tonight i will try to use no screens 2 hours before sleeping. I will use this time to read, and get my second meditation session done. I'm going to test this in the upcoming days to see if my sleep gets positively impacted.

Main focus points for the upcoming weeks Quitting gambling - Gambling is losing the grip it had on me again. I almost haven't been thinking about it, and haven't played since 13/01. Meditation habit - I'm going to try and meditate today for 2 hours. Not sure how since i want to sleep early. Exercise - For the past 7 weeks i've been running 3 times a week. My condition and speed definitely increased. Soon i will probably hit a plateau for a while but that's allright. Sleep schedule - My sleep schedule is still all over the place. Ideally i need 7-8hours of sleep on a schedule. I'm going to try and to go to sleep early today so i can start getting my schedule on point.

Unfortunately i failed my mission to complete a dopamine detox this weekend. It doesn't come as a surprise, as i'm aware of how addicted i am. Although i didn't succeed, i still haven't wasted much time on meaningless browsing etc. I've only watched online lectures and interesting documentaries on subjects that interest me and broaden my knowledge. I was actually able to watch most of them without getting distracted, which was awesome. Yesterday i went to sleep after midnight, which is rare. Because of this i woke up late, and started the day off in an annoyed mood. Going to sleep late means waking up late, means no time to meditate etc. After the bad start of the day, i pulled myself together and jumped in a cold shower. I went for groceries, and when i came back home i decided to go for a run. Right now i'm feeling decent. After all i'm still getting my responsibilities done for the day, which is good. As i've known it all starts with getting to sleep early. When i got to sleep early, i wake up early, and meditation gets done with ease, because i know i have plenty of time. If my meditation session gets completed, running follows easily and i'm ready for the day and kick some ass. It's so important to go to sleep early. My good habits have a domino effect. I just have to make sure i get the first one done, which is sleeping early.

Main focus points for the upcoming weeks Quitting gambling - Relapsing in my gambling habit wasn't the best choice. I have to quit again. Yesterday 13/01 was my last time playing. Period. Meditation habit - Ideally 1 hour or more per day. Doing it right after waking up is key for succes. Exercise - For now this is going decent. Apart from missing a couple of days i've been running 3 times per week for the past 7 weeks. Sleep schedule - My sleep schedule is still all over the place. Ideally i need 7-8hours of sleep on a schedule. The goal is to wake up between 4-5am and sleep at 9-10pm. Job hunt - Starting on monday i'm going to take looking for a job serious again. I need to get myself a job because i don't wanna rely on unemployment benefits anymore. This will also give me a stable routine and i will be able to move out from my current appartment, which i don't really like at all if i'm honest.

Starting in about an hour, i will start a dopamine detox which will last for the whole weekend. I hope this will reset my dopamine hungry brain at least a little bit. This whole weekend is going to get filled up with meditation, reading, exercise, cooking, cleaning,... i'm not going to allow myself to use the internet or phone at all, unless i need it for practical purposes or when there is an emergency. The decision to do this has been on my mind forever, as i noticed that i'm barely able to watch even a Youtube video for a min without getting distracted, wandering off in the comment section or opening up multiple tabs for no good reason at all. This is becoming such a huge burden in my life that i have to take radical measures. If i ever want to reach a goal or my life purpose, there is no place for this behaviour at all. I won't even be able to reach it. It's taking up too much of my time. Not being able to read a book that i actually want to read is something that frustrates me even more. Basically everything that is important to me at this point gets replaced with more time on the internet, it's ridiculous. Update on how this went probably mondaymorning somewhere.

Long story short i just declined a job offer at my old office. First and foremost because a lot of people have applied for this job, and i didn't have to at all. The reason they offered me this job is because one of my old colleagues ( good friend of mine), knows the boss very well. He basically told his boss that i was a very good colleague etc. So today his boss calls me out of the blue with this job offer. Everyone else had a limited time to apply, and i didn't even need to. The job would have been mine without me having to follow the rules everyone else had to. I feel like this would have been very unfair. I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that. I also don't feel like getting a job offer put in my lap like that, because later on it might get used against me.

Hello, I've been dealing with a lot of social anxiety combined with depression in the past, especially in my early 20s. This has effected my resume in a bad way. Right now i'm 27, and my longest job on my resume is only about 14 months long, and the rest of my resume is filled with short-term 2 to 3 month period jobs. I always had quit them because of the psychological problems i was dealing with at that time. Right now i'm in a much better state, but whenever i have a job interview, they almost always bring this up, and i honestly don't know how to explain it properly, apart from telling them i was having psychological problems. Some of the recruiters believe me, some of them start to question if i'm able to work again, and some of them straight up think i'm lying in their face. I can tell this is a huge barrier on getting a new job, but it's also draining me, having to explain my situation over and over again every single time during a new interview. I don't know how to fix this problem. Any tips? Thanks.

Over the past few weeks i've been facing a ton of my fears and insecurities head on. It took a lot of effort, keeping my feet to the fire at all times. It's exhausting, but at the same time it boosted my confidence like hell. The problem however, is that the fear is always coming back, no matter how much i face it. It's not going away. How do i make it stop? I literally want to live like a normal human being for once.

Yea, i'm doing that.

I just face every situation that makes me anxious and uncomfortable. For instance: if i am scared to walk up to someone in public to ask them a question, i do it anyways no matter what. ( this helped me with my social anxiety in the past, but it's still there) I use this approach to all of my fears. If my mind tries to lure me out, i notice it and do it anyways.

Recently unemployed...

Try not setting a particular sleep or wake time and just follow your bodys needs. Sleep when your tired, eat when your hungry.

It's not so much about them. You need to learn how to deal with certain feelings that arise inside of you when other are jealous of you.

https://www.youtube.com/c/RichardLangHeadexchange/videos

I think you should. Nothing to lose. Sometimes u need a bit of patience, but there are honest girls on there.

Have you ever tried any dating apps like Tinder etc? It's not the best, but it definitely helps if you can just go on some casual dates.

I'm having a problem with keeping masturbation healthy. I can never do it just once. I always have to go for a second or third time. I can go weeks or months on end without relapsing, but when i do, i always relapse bad. I've been trying to get this straight for years, and results are definitely showing, especially since i left porn behind in like forever, but just sole masturbation is still having too much impact on my life to this day. Complete abstinence doesn't work for me, as i just become very horny and agitated over time. The benefits of not doing it don't outweigh the negatives in the long run, because my mind get's so obsessed with woman and sex in the end.

I've been contemplating a bit, and suprisingly enough i came to the conclusion that i might have been using Nofap and the whole shebang as a coping mechanism for my fears and insecurities. I'm going to contemplate this further and i might start a journal on it.

2 days is kinda lucky man. If i overdo it, and i mean really over do it, i'm due for like 7-10 days to feel decent again.

I seriously have no idea how many times i'm going to come to this conclusion, but self-development always leads to the same endpoint for me: life is not gonna go my way, reality is going to choose that for me instead. Time and time again i'm struck by how true this is. No matter how much i try to "change" my life, no matter how much i think i know what i want and need in my life, in the end reality knows best, and with every self-development binge, it will start to show to me in all kinds of ways. It's so retarded to even think that i know what i need, and how i think my life should be. It doesn't make sense at all. Everything that i try to change feels like fighting against the tide. I'm literally trying to make myself into something that reality doesn't want me to be, and everytime something ends up failing or doesn't work out i always think i have to work harder, smarter or that it has to be because i'm lazy etc, when in reality i'm too blind to see that i just have to stop trying to change who i am, accepty myself for who i am and let go.

Just be yourself.

I think this is the main problem yes. Deep down the changes that i think i want, are not the ones i actually want. I'm denying a lot of desires and needs because i think i "should" be able to go without them. Obviously it doesn't work, but i wasn't aware of doing it.

Yea, i've tried that before. It doesn't work for me. For some reason i always have to be at the end of a spectrum, i can never find balance.

A while ago i developed "feelings" for a married coworker, and started contemplating on why this was happening to me. I came to the conclusion that i felt and still feel undeserving off a woman that is single and available. I noticed this was a recurring theme in my life, where i would become attracted to a woman that is either married or already in a relationship. I digged deeper, and also found out some insecurities i was having about dating and woman in general. Because of my new insights, i was able to act "normal" again like nothing happend, and just started seeing her as a normal coworker/friend, not thinking about her in a romantic way, or anything like that. In the meantime we kept talking to one another, and everything was totally fine, untill she was the one who started flirting with me. At this point it's pretty fucked up, as we are calling eachother honey etc. daring eachother to kiss etc. It also seems like all the barriers are gone from her side. Yesterday we started joking around about meeting up at the coffee machine for a kiss (so no one could see us). I almost went for it, but changed my mind in the end. I'm glad i didn't do it, but i'm seriously worried that if she actually comes up to me , i won't be able to hold myself back anymore and do it anyways. In the end this always has a very bad aftertaste, and i feel like shit about it. I just can't seem to contain myself in the moment, and enjoy her attention whenever i'm at work, only to feel like shit and completely lonely at the end of the day. I'm allowing myself to feel like shit, and i'm trying to heal this wound, but it's not working out too well. I've been crying a little every now and then, making contact with the wound that is obviously there, but it doesn't seem to help at all. At times it feels like a huge ball of energy surrounding my belly area. What can i do about this?

Yes, you are probably right. How tho? Easier said than done.