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Note that if you answer "No" to the first question you are still forced to answer the next 2 questions, adding noise to the results of the poll.

Yes I have no doubt about it my friend. I think you are a deeply intelligent person but sometimes you use your intelligence to sabotage yourself. I believe in the real you hidden beneath the lies and the sabotage. There's not a single doubt in my mind that you will reach the life you want. Your desire is stronger than the thoughts that try to hold you back, that say it's not possible. The thoughts can slow you down but they'll never undo your progress or prevent the inevitable.

It's absolutely impossible to measure distance from here to a place you've never been so I'm afraid your idea of "pace" is unfounded. (I remember your avatar that said "No bullshit without source" or something). In reality you have no clue when it will happen, could be tomorrow, could be in a month could be in 10 years. Personally I'd bet my rent money that you'll get one before next year. And trust me, I don't have any to spare lol

Regardless of if you want it or not, you are learning. You had an experience that had an unfortunate end. This experience is a form of learning. Whether you keep learning or you stop is entirely up to you. You cannot go backward, this progress is permanent.

Yup because billions of people are living struggles similar to yours! It's not because it's popular that the message is good or true, just that a lot of people believe this. Yes most people manage to date despite being needy but they manage it by not being needy too soon. I personally don't recommend being needy at all but what you do once you are in a stable relationship is entirely up to you.

That's what you imagine and there was a part of my life where I was imagining this too. But in my experience, having someone objectify you and want you to fullfill their desires without regard for who you actually are is not fun. You can't really know unless you live it though. I once did an experiement where I decided to basically have 0 standards for anything on dating websites. I would talk to anyone without any care about their physical appearance or any other criteria. What I found is that those people who struggle a lot with dating are extemely needy and this neediness basically made relationship impossible. I was being objectified by a women I knew nothing about, she wanted to talk to me every 15 minutes because she was scared of losing me and she showed of my picture to her friends before even the first date, as some sort of "trophy" she's proud of having the chance to date. I ended up cancelling the first date because it was just way too uncomfortable and cringe. All of this felt extremely bad but it also gave me a lot of insight in other relationships I had, where I was the needy one, the one who wanted to talk all of the time and the one who absolutely wanted her. It showed me exactly how I made other feel and this insight helped me a lot in dating in general. Context and relationship with the person matters a lot. If you sent this to a family member like your mom, she'd probably be very happy. To someone you barely know however, it's a massive red flag. It's considered weird for someone to get attached to someone they don't know fully well or have met recently. It shows you aren't actually attached to the person but rather attached to the fantasy of having someone arbitrary in your life, for youself. The average person is insecure about themself and needy as well so it's not because an image is widely available that it's good. Around all of the globe people are dating and making mistakes like this. Everyone start as a needy baby and grow up to learn.

Consider the possibility that her interests in dating are different from your interests. It's like a deal, what do you get out of it vs what does she get out of it. Would you date a woman you find unattractive only for the sake of making her happy? Why would you expect women to do that for you? If you want to keep a relationship, focus on what she wants not what you want. When you send her pictures of like the one you posted it comes off as needy. "You mean the world to me" basically says "I need you, I'm dependent, I can't be without you". This type of mentality is deeply unattractive to women or even anyone. It objectifies the person as being "something you need" rather than herself. Everyone wants to be validated for who they are rather than as a tool for someone else's happiness or pleasure. If you want to get someone to give you happiness and pleasure you need to do the same for them. What they want is different from the idea you might have of what they want. They'll most likely won't tell you up-front what they want but you'll notice when something you do happens to make them happy. (Many people don't even know what they really want). Talking about yourself and your weaknesses is likely the opposite of what they want and subtle implications of you being needy is the opposite of sexy.

Covid? Pfff boring shit, bring back the plague! Access to education? Ability to choose my career path? Nah no thanks I'd rather die as a farmer who's basically a slave to some fat king

If you want to test against NBOMes you can get a testing kit that does that: https://dancesafe.org/product/lsd-testing-kit/ You won't have studies which directly compares the cost of LSD to NBOMes since nobody has financial incentives to study this, but you can learn about the LSD synthesis process https://science.howstuffworks.com/lsd2.htm. NBOMes' production is generally said to be cheap (e.g. https://analyticalsciencejournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/dta.2751) and the price difference is what motivate people to sell NBOMes as LSD. The reason why LSD costs a lot to produce is not because of a lack of raw material but because of the complexity of the process. Making LSD tabs which are 50% NBOMes would not only complexify the process (because now you have to put 2 substances into a bloating paper, somehow) but also doesn't save you anything. You still have to go through all of the chemical reactions for your 50% of LSD. There's no reason for anyone to do more work to end up with a product which is much less valuable. I'm simply stating there is not financial incentive to do that, from logical deduction. I don't have any source for this and It's quite unlikely you'll find any given the topic.

What other stuff do you think there could be? At least financially, dealers might have incentives to pass things like 25x-NBOMe as LSD. But if you can detect LSD on it, it's unlikely there's much else on it. The process for producing LSD is relatively complex, you cannot just "add substances" into it easily. IMO it would be more difficult to make a tab that's 50/50 LSD and 25x-NBOMe than 100% LSD. That being said there might be random polutants and other substances in the paper. But since they are random, their toxicity is likely relatively low. Given the size of the paper as well, it's not like you can fit that much stuff into it. Personally I buy my psychedelics from research chemicals, which are legal and guaranteed to be 98% pure. So I know there's 2% junk, but it's only 2%.

There's no such thing as understanding only misunderstanding, which explains why you'd ask this question in the first place. There's no such thing as liberation either, Hell is eternal, everywhere and unstoppable and it endlessly gets worse. The whole idea that there could be a "better place" is only there to make you suffer in comparison to your "current place". This better place is purely imaginary it doesn't actually exist. Other people keep talking about it only because they hate you deeply and they want to make you suffer more. The people you think love you actually hate you the most and they pretend to love you only so they can hurt you more deeply later. The only reason it is said that "the devil is in hell" is to confuse you even more, to create even more misunderstanding and suffering. It doesn't actually mean anything but to survive as a normal human being in society you have to pretend you understand those things so people don't judge you. In reality you couldn't even understand them if you tried because there's no such thing as understanding. Again, conditioning and judgement are concepts created by other people in society purposefully for you to have to pretend you understand them while in fact you are totally and physically unable to understang anything. The only thing there is about conditioning is the pain of having been beaten up as a kid and the only thing there is about judgement is being humiliated by other people for having done things that are not in line with their views. You can pretend to be capable of understanding and make up fake concepts like conditioning and jugements as "tools" to help you "understand" things but all of this is just a play you do on yourself so you could suffer more greatly later. All hope is just build up for a future disappointment. As I said Hell constantly get worse but it has to find ways to get worse and fake hope and dreams are ways it does this. Hell is infinitely intelligent so it will always outsmart you when it comes to this. There's literally nothing you can do about it, you are entirely powerless and incapable of anything. Other people could do something for you but they won't because they hate you. Acceptance is also fake hope which goes nowhere, the only thing to do is struggle and you'll struggle whether you want to do it or not. Perhaps you think death will let you out but this too is just fake hope. In reality when you die you access a deeper level of Hell where suffering is much worse. I know I don't have @Blackhawk expertise on this but given he is really busy with struggle, I had to answer for him. If you want to learn more about Hell, I recommend doing the practices. Anti-meditation is a really good technique where you breathe in and out as fast as possible until you can't do it anymore. At this point bang your head against a brick wall 3 times and try again. Another good technique is to think about people in your life and focus on how much you hate them. Be careful to not focus on the feeling but rather, use thinking to justify why you hate them and what wrong they did to you. More importantly, make sure to use confirmation bias to discard any thought which goes against suffering and pain.

How do you know? Where does this information come from? If something couldn't be pointed at we couldn't be talking about it. Conciousness or the present moment cannot be pointed at but it doesn't come with any problem, idea or conditioning. This conditioning you are talking about is not something you see or hear through consciousness, it's something you literally are pointing at as a reason why you can't be happy right now. In reality this is just an idea you have about your sense of self and isn't your sense of self itself. If you want to verify this you can simply focus on this sense of self and allow yourself to feel it. Notice how all of this talking really is a distraction from feeling.

Drop the idea that you "have programming", drop the idea that you "have an ego". Instead observe, what is there in reality? You can see the room around you and likely your body as well, but can you see your ego? If you believe you have an ego you will act like you have an ego. Let go of the lie and the undesirable behaviors and thoughts will go away as well

Nobody had the experience of awakening as a male and awakening as a female to compare the "difficulty" of both. Likewise you cannot compare the difficulty of your life to the one of others. You can assume someone else's life is easier by judging it from your life, but you cannot live it, you can only live yours. That being said there's absolutely no difficulty in awakening, because you already are awake. You can make it difficult for yourself, by creating a process and imagining yourself to not be awake and needing to do something to wake up, but that is all a play.

What was the weather? You may have subconsciously associated some heavy weather to the possibility of power outage. People and animals can feel a storm coming by feeling the wind as well.

I was basing my answer off of Psychonaut wiki mainly, which says tolerance is around half after 5-7 days. Personally I only took LSD once with a 7 day break (100µg and 100µg). The first time was life changing and one of my best experience, the second time was pretty weak and felt like I had taken almost nothing. I did not know about tolerance back then, since then I always space them out by 2 weeks minimum.

Tolerance is about a half after 1 week, so 200µg would be equivalent to 100µg. This depends from person to person though so who knows what dose you'll actually do. Why so hasty? All questions are OK! Don't ask us for the questions that are relevant to you, only you knows that best! Everyone's life and thus awakening is unique.

@Consilience Great post, thank you for sharing! This is very inspiring and motivating.

You have no clue whether they actually have a clue or not. Any metric you use to judge the "level of awakening" of a person is ego trying to prove that it is "more awake" than another.

I was doing a quick nap in the middle of the day. At some point in my sleep I was witnessing someone play some video game. They were doing something stupid and I was making fun of them. (Haha what a dumby don't do this). Then I started stopping to make fun of them and feel empathy for their mistake and actually "guide them" or at least look at them do the right things. The video game itself or the actions are irrelevant but it felt amazing to just watch someone "get it right" and it retrospects it felt quite bad to make fun of them uselessly. This felt good enough I would say I haven't felt like this in a good while. During this moment of feeling good, I noticed I was sleeping but the dream didn't really start to become lucid. Instead I had some sort of very very sudden intense pressure. It's quite hard to describe but my best analogy would be how you feel in your ears when you blow air into your nose. Excepts multiply that by a thousand and the sound becomes very acute. I had no idea what this was and I was a bit scared of it, but I didn't want to "fall into it". It sort of tried to make me "lose consciousness" or "think about something else", at least it really seemed like it didn't want me to realize how the dream I just had felt. But as I felt this really strange pressure which was in both sides of my body (left and right, from my head to my lower back), it started to feel really good again to not "fall into it". But then I started wondering what that was and where this was coming from. As I focused on the dream again, the pressure started again, but much harder. Finally when I focused on the dream again and I thought "oh wait it's because it felt good to not shit on the guy" then the pressure started becoming EVEN more intense. Now it was deafening and I was scared of waking up, I didn't know if it was OK to wake up while that was going on. I just decided to wait for it to finish and when it finished I just got up. The idea that I held through the experience was that this "pressure" was there to prevent me to figure out how good it feels to not beat down someone who's struggling rather than helping them. And I can highly relate this to my daily life, I often find myself beating myself up when I don't do according to my expectations. But then what the heck is this big pressure? I felt it so clearly and so intensely. The thought story about it would identify that pressure as "homeostasis", somehow the resistance to positive change. But in actuality all of this is an interpretation of my experience, an idea. In actuality all I felt was the big pressure and I believed the idea about it. Perhaps the pressure is a "feeling" but I never had such feelings and why could I hear it too? Perhaps its purely an hallucination, an interpretation of nothingness. I have no clue, feel free to let me know if you ever had similar experiences.

Any desire you have for your dream right now is part of the dream. Removing this reality/dream also removes those desires. If you want to create a life that's in line with those desires, then go for it! You can do it, in this life. If this life ends don't expect to be able to carry anything (thought, expectations, desires or objects) into your "next one".

Consider that consuming pain killers like alcohol induce a pleasure that isn't caused by taking good care of your body but rather induced by incapacitating your body from feeling pain and thinking too much. If you were to feel the same thing without the alcohol it would be a sign of true self-care. You can argue that a balance between true self-care and bypassing feelings using pain killer is "good". In any case it's up to you to decide what you want for your body and your body will always let you know what it truly wants if you feel anyway. I would argue however that consciousness has no states, this is just an idea one can have about consciousness. This idea is experienced as content in the consciousness. If you have different experiences with different drugs, different energy levels, consciousness does not change, only the content of the experience change. Consciousness is always there, you can judge it to be low or high but it doesn't stop from being here and now, unchanged by the content of your experience. One could say "Higher consciousness = the experience of fewer thought identifications" and "Lower consciousness = the experience of more thought identifications" in which case the irony becomes clear, why would one ever identify with the idea that they are lower consciousness?

If your "free will" has a catch clause that says "you must act like a psychopath", I wouldn't call it free will. One might argue they have "conditional free will", the free will to do anything they want except when it comes to their mental illness. One must recognize that this idea "I have a condition that conditions my free will" is an idea, which one has free will to believe or not. You can consider things to be hardwired if you want but again this consideration is not hardwired. You are free to consider your mind to have "hardwires" or not. If you stop considering things as being hardwired (applying the label) is anything really hardwired? You can observe many things in life but you will never observe the "hardwiring" of your own mind, that is simply an idea one can believe about themselves, or not. Why would one consider this idea? To explain unexplainable past behavior patterns. Yet if one believes they have certain behavior pattern, they can simply act them out in accordance to their belief. Anyone who isn't "hardwired" can act hardwired if they believe that's what they are but whether you actually are hardwired or not can only be determined through your own personal observation. If one doesn't look inside to see whether those behavior patterns are actually hardwired or not, they'll never know. Everything I'm saying with the label "hardwired" can apply to any label. If you think a label defines you, you will act in accordance to it. If you ever want to discover what you actually are, you need to drop the labels. Why does it "feel unchangeable"? Because it has been thought to be like this and even perhaps unchangeable for many years. That doesn't make it "feel right" or make it true. This simply might be your homeostasis, your thoughts which even if untrue feel comfortable because you are used to think like that and you successfully went through life with those thoughts. If you want freedom however, you have to let go of those thoughts and feel inside truly. You might believe "it's not possible for me!" but that's just another thought which can be let go. Letting go would feel amazing and bring a lot of clarity. In the end it's up to you.

Yes. But even if you doubt it, psychedelics can show you why they aren't even necessary

It's perfectly possible for someone to change and stop acting like a narcissist or sociopath. The "information" on how to recognize a sociopath is simply labelling. A set of behavior patterns are identified as being "of a sociopath". Whether one can stop "being a sociopath" is the same as asking whether one is capable of dropping those behavior patterns. Are you capable of acting in your own will? Do you have free will? I cannot provide a proof that transformation is possible, because that would be the same as providing a proof that you have free will. But through your own personal experience you can see for yourself whether you can control your behaviors and act however you want. If you ever attain this true freedom, through meditation or other practices, then labels like sociopath will no longer apply or matter. This exploration into yourself and what you are capable of (and whether you have free will or not) is an exploration that has been made by many others in the past, about themselves. Except due to the subjective nature of this investigation, no amount of self-investigation of other people tell you anything about yourself. I do encourage anyone to explore their experience deeply and find out what they really are, but unfortunately the knowledge we get in investigating ourselves cannot be shared. The best we can share is a pointer asking others to go within themselves.