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Yes I know about regular tolerance. Thank you for sharing your experience...

No I mean long-term tolerance. Like do you think in 1 year of doing 600 ug every 2 weeks its gonna be as powerful?

Have you developed some high quality human relationships to a point you feel like you get it? Reach the point where you have very close friends, people you understand deeply and that understand you deeply. See how having such people doesn't actually make you happy. It's very nice and pleasant to have them, but it doesn't fix the deep feeling of incompleteness that may be hidden behind. If you do that you will have transcended green. You won't necessarily lose your friends after that, but you will have fully realized that they cannot fulfill you completely. If you try to skip green you will always look back and ask "what about true human connections?" I don't think you can fully realize the limitations of that without having fully experienced what it is.

Not sure how your dosage recommendation is related to my question but let me tell you that the minimum to do spiritual work is 0ug Seriously though, have you ever experienced some kind of gradual long-term tolerance? How does your experience of your first tab relate to a tab now? Perhaps 500-600 ug would indeed bring back my inner TV like I used to have at 200 ug back then, but I also have the gut feeling that it was taken away because of an understanding of what it was, not because of the drug itself. Like it stopped being relevant I guess

Oh wow, there's no me! But what about the subconcious mind? Oh wow, there's no subconscious mind! But what about the ego? Oh wow, there's no ego! But what about the brain? Oh wow, there's no brain! But what about the neuro-chemistry? I don't blame you, I always do the same thing. The mind has infinitely many sneaky ways to create a "me" even long after realizing no me.

@Nahm Perhaps reality does not exist (and thus neither the mind) but perceptions build a reality which is consistent with itself. To me it doesn't seem insane to ask how would the mind-body model relate to my experience. Perhaps it is indeed not a reason or a "why" but I still find value in understanding what would motivate a mind-body to create the self in the first place. At least, it has been extremely useful to me to realize that a (overly) proud self-image has been created to oppose the deep assumption that I should be ashamed of myself. While I see what you mean, that I should realize there's no me rather than think about it. I do see how you don't need to invent a mind to be conscious of thoughts and therefore avoid their trickyness. I can't help but try to think about what are my other deep dysfunctional assumptions that are currently messing things up. I tend to be under the impression that the reason there's a me is to cover up those assumptions and that it would no longer be tricky to realize no-self if I was free of those assumptions. EDIT: I digress, this "study of the mind" idea is just another way in which I create a "me" that is not consciousness and try to understand the false me. Sorry for making so much bullshit. Thank you for your help.

IME, once you realize no-self, all problems are blown away. Until you, inevitably, convince yourself again that there's a self. All the suffering comes from rejecting part of reality because of some assumption held in the self. Once there is (truly) no self, suffering ends. But why care about where stuff comes from? Why care about the idea that "I" creates the stuff? Why does it matter? "I am God". Why "I"? Is this what happen when you let go of the assumption of reality but not the assumption of self? I'd rather do the opposite, let go of the self and keep reality. At least it seems more productive to me.

It's like I know but I always forget. I don't understand why though. I see why the mind would protect the self using deception (since it cares more about self than truth) but I don't see why the mind would recreate a self using deception after realizing there's no self. Is it a symptom of an existing contradiction within the mind, which can only be explained by the creation of a self? But then, why did I not experience this contradiction last time I realized no self. Perhaps I just did not think about it. In the end thought is sneaky but it's just a tool of the mind, not the source of the problem. Isn't it better to look for why the mind wants to trick itself rather than constantly be worried about how it tricks itself? Would the mind trick itself if it had no reason to do so?

I see that I have nothing to worry about then. Thank you

There's nothing being avoided though, suffering vanishes from total acceptance of reality as it is. It's true that I cannot boil down God's creation to the escape of suffering. In practice I don't know how to put it. It just feels good to be selfless. It's clear that's this is what I want to do. "Escape of suffering" was a justification for that but in practice I don't really justify it at all. Why deconstruct reality though? Is it done with a reason in mind? Is Truth being pursued? Why? Does it feel even better? Why? Where does "feel good" even comes from? This thread is quite ironic because I'm already showing the curiosity that is required to go there I guess. But it still seems not relevant to me right now since I am not fully selfless and I'm not sure I'll be fully selfless in the next 40 years, even with my regular drug usage and daily meditation. There is a me that is scared of bending reality to fit the self as a distraction/avoidance of letting the self go.

True. I'm indeed assuming that there would be a me that is looking to minimize suffering. I agree. Basically my question is, would contemplating those help anyone in the cleaning of the self? My self is infected with false beliefs. Seeing those beliefs for what they are fixes the issues basically. I just don't see how those questions fix anything. In the context of doing things without having any reason to do them, like pure exploration, I don't think there's anything wrong with contemplating those questions. But isn't it crazy to expect that the contemplation of these matters would help the self and mind? Is it really "personal development"? I would be tempted to think that helping people escape their problematic beliefs and mind-diseases are of higher priority than making them realize they are god. It's crazy to me that a few years ago, Leo was all about no self and now it's all about I am god.

1) I fully agree with Leo's take. If you need willpower, isn't it because there is resistance? Why not investigate that resistance rather than trying to force a behavior that is resisted? 2) Silencing the mind works better for me when I understand why and how the inner monologue is wrong. I'd rather listen to the mind and truly consider it than ignore it. When it is properly listened to, it silences itself for me. 3) I don't spend time increasing my willpower but I spend time trying to figure out how I'm shooting myself in the foot. When this is figured out (which is always obvious and overlooked) then I tend to flow easily in my work which doesn't require any willpower since I enjoy doing it. 4) To me willpower is the ability to do something that you fully or partially are in disagreement with. e.g. I want to work hard but there exists a me that is lazy. WIllpower is the ability to ignore part of what is believed. When in a state of no-self, it becomes obsolete. I do value the usage of willpower to get in the state of no-self though, as then it becomes effortless to do what's best. Not sure I would associate this with courage. Courage could be defined as the ability to overcome fear? I haven't fully realized what fear is yet so I can't say much about that topic. Everybody got their deep issues and beliefs that limit them in life. When you live with a crippling belief, ignoring those bad beliefs using willpower can have lots of value to generate results in life. So I'm not saying willpower is bad or should not be developped, but targetting the fundamental beliefs that limit the mind is more important. If you encounter resistance while doing meditation, look at it! Decompose it. What is it made out of? Where did it come from? Can you let it go? Those are the type of questions I would ask myself.

There could be many reasons for harshness but in my personal experience, my harshness towards other is caused by things about others pissing me off. In this case I have to ask myself why is that thing or behavior pissing me off and more often than not, I find that it is because the same thing pisses me off about myself. For instance if I judge someone to be lazy it's actually because I dislike my self when I am lazy. Sometimes its a bit difficult to accept I am lazy (letting go of wanting not to be lazy) but at least awareness of this dynamic helps me being more tolerant of the other. Maybe your problem is indeed more visible now that you are more authentic. But is it really worth it to go back to some superficial politeness? This may be a perfect opportunity to work on that aspect of yourself that was neglected because you previously didn't voice your thoughts. You don't describe the nature of your harshness though so I could be totally in the wrong. In the end you need to investigate!

What does your mother think of those 2 problematic people?

Unwanted behaviors often stems from part of the mind which has not been recognized. When you take awareness of the root belief or assumption it just melts away almost instantly. For instance I had a shame problem, I believed from a very young age that I should be ashamed of myself by looking at my mom do the same. If I were to use traditionnal psychology to fix this problem, perhaps I would have used affirmations and positive thinking. This is however, very unefficient compared to realizing the root cause. It seems to me that I am done with this problem now, all it took was an LSD trip. Yet I'm wondering if all problems are like this. If would be very nice if that's the case! Currently I'm suffering from overstimulation from youtube videos, video games, social media and etc creating huge procrastination. The "traditionnal" way of fixing this is to setup good habits and slowly get out of the low consciousness stuff. Yet I've been doing this for years with very limited success. I still struggle with it and it doesn't seem to go away permanently. Science would say this problem stems from the dopamine system being designed to want rewards because this is how it was best to function when living in the stone age. But hey, pushing this idea aside and assuming there's no brain, is there a way to permanently fix that issue through understanding? Is this issue a lack of understanding? I would really love that to be the case! Otherwise that would mean I am forced to struggle with my own biology and just accept it? On my last LSD trip I really wanted to ponder on that a lot. But it was kind of pushed aside to fix other issues. Even if nobody can answer my question, I plan on dedicating a trip to just that very soon.

I would argue that yes it is. Thinking dopamine addiction is an issue to be dealt with is thinking that there's a me other than what is perceived. Very fallacious thread from my part, I apologize!

My manner of speech probably come from the fact Peter Ralston's book of not knowing is my current read A very transformational book for me. I'll check out Krishnamurti, thanks for the suggestion.

Thank you for the answers and noted down those books. Lots of food for thought but nothing nailing the coffin. I will come back after contemplating this deeply.

I would argue it's working! It's fetching what is hidden deep inside. Contemplate and observe this feeling. Where does it come from? Why does it arises? What is it made out of? The more you understand that feeling the less it will be a problem. If you want to use this as an occasion to blame meditation and move on to a blindsighted life it's up to you. Otherwise I would argue this is the real beginning of your meditation journey. Perhaps the first 2 years were fun but now starts the actual healing.

@Leo Gura Can you function as a human being with Absolute Love? Isn't it required to make distinctions betweens things to survive or to do anything? If I wanted to help earth by inventing technologies that would reduce human's carbon emissions. I need to learn lots of science. Am I forced to create a lack of love to do that (create distinctions and concepts related to what I'm learning) ? Last time I directly experienced love, I was scared of losing effectiveness (I held back from it). It seems like I identify with being "sharp", which I would say for me is being good at creating accurate distinctions in the world and to not mix concepts together. Is this fear fully irrational, meaning that by accepting Absolute Love I wouldn't lose any of the "sharpness" or effectiveness at performing things that require accurate distinctions and conceptualizations?

I am no expert and in no way I can tell you what went wrong with your friend. However, here's food for thought that might interest you. What makes work being work and game being game? Is it how much of your brain is being used during the task? Why is it that, after 8 hours of playing some games (video games, board games, sports and etc.) you may feel physically tired if the task was physical but you don't generally feel mentally burned out. In fact, for many people it's the opposite, playing games allow them to relax, recharging their internal "batteries". What I found for myself is that games cannot be differentiated from work by the nature of the task. You cannot say a task is inherently game or work just by knowing what the task is. What makes a game a game and work work is what you think of it, how you classify the task. Is it something you like to do or is it something you are putting pressure on yourself for doing? Perhaps people don't break emotionally because they do too many tasks or for too long, but because they put too much pressure on themselves to do things neurotically, until it is not bearable and they get a breakdown. Is it possible to work without any pressure? Doing your work as if it was a game. Not doing it because you have to do it but because you enjoy doing it and you value the result of that work. I cannot tell you its possible, because I never truly achieved it, but I'm working hard at it!

What if resistance is a compound-feeling rather than a unit feeling, made out of other thoughts and feelings? Perhaps the source of your resistance is other feelings that have been repressed. At least it seems to be the case for me. I found this written article very useful (Sedona technique) https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-resistance In my case, applying the Sedona technique allowed me to discover what were the other repressed feelings which were the cause of the resistance. I still have resistance today, but when I do I know it's not about the resistance itself but about other issues which have not been dealt with properly. To me, resistance is nothing more than a symptom.

Thank you guys for the nice replies @loub I've been reading this book actually but I'm just at 24%. It's a hard read! In comparison to Eckart Tolle it's very dry, there's no entertaining stories it's straight to the point. Some of his exercises are very hard, like asking what are my beliefs. If only I knew what my beliefs are myself... But yeah I'll keep reading it, it's been very useful so far.

Are they really something that should be fought through repetition? Or perhaps are they just based on some wrong assumption? In my last trip, I realized how my mom's shame of herself affected me as a kid. When I was 3 she cheated on my dad and I presume looking at me made her feel ashamed of herself, so I learned to be ashamed of myself as well, all the time. As a result I was unable to stand straight in front of people withouth feeling ashamed and I always was trying to overcompensate by dragging people down (show them they should be more ashamed of themselves than I am). @Serotoninluv I'm sorry. I've been such a dick to you as with many others. I believe this is why. Yet now that I'm aware of that, the habit is gone. At least as far as I experience since then (tripped on saturday) I no longer shame myself. The bad habit has simply melted away by letting go of the assumption that "I should be ashamed/someone should be ashamed". Of course I had to find the assumption and where it was coming from, this wasn't free, but I didn't need to practice not being ashamed. I always thought bad habits were long term behaviors. But now to me they more seem like a question of wrong assumptions. So what really are bad habits? When I try to stop playing video games, it seems like awareness of how I feel is not sufficient. Before that trip, I was constantly shaming myself for playing. It felt terrible but the awareness of those feelings didn't really do anything, because the root addiction was to be ashamed, not to play. Now I still got somewhat of a video game problem, but atleast it doesn't seem to be coming with shame, just slight numbness and lazyness. I am very excited about fixing my future problems, especially if it's only a matter of finding the wrong assumptions. This makes it an investigation of the self rather than a fight. I'm wondering if your experience of letting go of bad habits is similar.

I would argue they are the same as lack of self, love, god, etc. What makes them different for you? That's true if you treat it as a concept. But I don't think what's cared for here is to keep an attachment to the concept of happiness but to actually detach from all concepts at all time. Imagine you have the problem that you need unhappiness in order to feel happiness. Then this problem makes you unhappy. I do agree that the quest for everlasting peace and happiness is different from the thing itself and it is in some ways "foolish" because there's no route to getting there, you just need to realize you already are. Where I disagree though is about "having realized it once". I don't see any value to having it realized in the past, I only see value in realizing it now. To me, realizing it once every 2 weeks or so is not acceptable. I want to realize it now. And if I do so, all the time, then this would be the same as everlasting peace and happiness. In practice though, I can't really do that. So I'll settle to realizing it as often as I can. Psychedelics were a good start for me (and incredibly fun!), I would in no way want to stop them but, they just don't cut it for everlasting peace and happiness. It's very funny to say "everlasting peace and happiness is not enough for me!" because then you are not happy and thus you aren't even experiencing what you criticize. If you were to actually experience everlasting peace and happiness then there would be no bigger fish to fry as any bigger fish to fry would be, in some ways, something to worry about. Perhaps I'm just being picking on the words here. I'm taking "everlasting peace and happiness" to be complete. I'm not talking about being some casual person with a generally happy and peaceful life. I'm taking about true everlasting peace and happiness.