ertopolice

Well after being around on instagram for about 5 years and due to my non typical instagram-like profile use for the general population /followers' interest i decided to quit. I kept it till now to follow sportspeople i like, bands, some authors and writers..and so on. I got some random followers and people from town..but there's something about it i dislike and it's the noneseness of it all for my social goals. I tried to show a bit of my interests through it, but also, i lightly shows bit of my sports/fitness background without being the random instagram chick. It's showed my interests, my values, my principles...and some people supported them but apart from that..there nothing to write home about it. I met 2-3 guys on real life via instagram, and yeah, they initially dated me with some other goals apart from plain friendship and when i stay strong on my principles..they got scared and lost interest in any other contact. Instagram seems to be a dating site so no use on keeping it as an intellectual resource. Apart from that, have to say i've been talking random stuff/ chit chat with a regarded trainer and sportsperson from my country, and from time to time he told me of meeting in person. It pissed me off that i agreed twice and never heard of him afterwards! perhaps this anger it has to do with my quitting. Too many options for too many lost people. Any tips on leaving all this in an smart way? thanks!!

Thought of doing something like that as a test to know wether some contacts would say "hey..so if you leave this...i would like to hear from you any other way" but most probably no one will care if i leave. I will consider as a tool to expose myself more to the real world and get out this time waster thing

Yes, i assume this network has nothing to do with it. Seems to be my lack of options the cause of my anger. I exhancehed several texts with a guy via this site, and he intended to come to visit and meet me since we started talking. i never took it seirouly because he got 120k followers due to his sports profile and business so i assumed i he was also tiling and meeting 1000x more women like me.... (and yes, that might be all). Last week i explained him it was ok for me to meet each other, but that we might not be in the very same situation right now because in spite of i appreciate and feel attracted to his mind (ok..serious problem with minds hahaha) i was more into long term things.. have not heard of him since

Hi, I am currently digging into this topic and trying to assess about the issue regarding it's risks and those experiences people claim to have gone through. I appreciate any input on good books about kundalini for beginners to understand it all. I've already read "Kundalini: The Ultimate Guide to Awakening Your Chakras Through Kundalini Yoga and Meditation and to Experiencing Higher Consciousness, Clairvoyance, Astral Travel, Chakra Energy, and Psychic Visions" . It's ok but lacks deep i think. thank you!

It's literally the case of the last guy i contacted with She seemed so damm attractive because of this of his "high standards"

f.e those still young shy gym hotties that are on the process of becoming their bestselves (at least physically, i guess). I.ve always thought there should be something with them going on internally. Regarding females, we females on here appreciate your input @Leo Gura hahaha. I recently met a guy with good game (intellectual material game..) nice physique (been improving it during the last years and got some issues with his weight in the past) and low social value (bit of a loner, bit pissed off with society, still living at mum's because he plan to change his job..someday in near future..). I liked him because of his "theoretical" mindset and views, though...but it has had still no result in practical life. In addition, he claims to have been lied regarding physical appearance and that always asks for 10s hahaha. What advice would you give to an independent (finances herself but also enjoys her own company), ok looks (people say attractive, slim, nice looking), fitness/health concerned, mind-body-soul oriented female reading these...."on the process" guys? this guy is 35, btw. I am still on my process but come on..i always tend to dispatch with most guys of my age. Are we lost regarding finding someone compatible?

@Loba Thanks for your input! Well, it was not exactly regarding me but regarding my possible responde to his denial of finally setting a date. He claims that it's up to anyone's how you handle things and that it has nothing to do with him. So egoic. He assume being"sincere" and perhaps "aggressive" but that it was like that (like if he was thinking...you like it or not..) Being so aggressive should be a red flag, but I would like to understand what happened that suddenly he changed his mind. if it is the usual thing of having more options around and that he does not want to date me...being so sincere as he claim he is...he should have told, right? anyway you see i m still obsessed because and got no one around atm (scarcity mindset i know..)

Hi! Well...help needed regarding this situation please In my last thread I mentioned I got to come across a guy via social network who is exactly (and i mean exactly..no jokes, we both are SO astonished about this coincidence) as my ideal man or nearly. Meet all my basic criteria about consciousness, intelectual value, fitness, career goals, philosophy, politics...but also secondly things such as hobbies and lifestyle. Come on it was JUST TOO PERFECT as if I'created it.. We've been texting for aprox2 months everyday (texts, audios, sharing our views about the world, books...trainning, music, pics..and so on). We talked about setting a date and he agreed to come and meet me in here as a 1st date. He is totally focused on a new career goal and he is working full time but also studying and training. Ok so last week after one of our usual audio exchanges, I told him to finally fix a dat these days. He did not respond. He finally responded 3 days later with an audio stating he is so disgusted about my opinion about some topic we talked about in the audios, and that his situation changed. That he DOES NOT WANT to put his attention on anything else than himself at the moment, that that may sound aggressive but that he appreciates sincerity and that's his actual situation. He does not propose another date or anything WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THIS UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS WITH HIM? Should i expect a text some day or forgot about him? come on we had that chemistry even texting and sharing the very same core values about life was so damm HOT! Please I appreciate your help. He is a man of strong values and principles. We think exactly the same. I understand he is focused on his stuff but come on... THANKS!

@somegirl That's the appropriate word: inconsiderate. It has no logical reason to just stop messaging for 3 days and then all of a sudden claim all that stuff and that is your issue how you handle it. I suspect some psychopath/narcissist over here...don't know and cannot understand how he could aspire so such high value woman and standards if he still live at mom's placement.. I am getting better with it. I realized all this concussion on me might be an strategy by this narc type guy. i should focus on my stuff yes, that btw it's way too much atm. This was just some "scape" from modally obligations but i guess there's plenty of fish in the sea.. Worst thing is that this behavior of him made me for a second question my value. And i think i am quite OK because of my achievements and that i also care for my health and physique. I am an independent person, finance myself, got an stable job to pay my bills and also make my best to promote on my job and on my personal growth journey..come on..is it that difficult to find any compatible man out there??

No, it's been a misunderstanding.. what i feel is that his ego is way too strong so that he claims that in 3 days his situation "changed" an that he does not want to be thinking of anything or anything else but himself and that if i feel bad about it it's not of his business..buut mine how i cope with it. Ok i appreciate sincerity but that way of explaining himself..isn't it too much? i really obsess if it's real that he has to focus on himself or if it's an aggressive way of ending our "chat" "dating potential" relationship. 5 days not heard of him

Yes. I guess he is a player and it's kinda a test... @somegirl No come on..but definitely he should have some issue abut selfishness @Gregory1 I really hope to focus again on myself again and my issues so i can really forget about this thing and all. Tired to online chats and all, i do really prefer face to face interactions with real people so no problem with their physique or whatever standards. Let's hope this pandemia do not last way too long..

@Gregory1 you mean I already put him on a pedestal so i could not discern his real behavior towards me? yes, may it be selfishness, ego.. He mentioned the "ego" thing sometime in our chats. That's some of the reasons why i trust him that he was doing his best into self-growth and we both shared this thing that could lead somewhere It is the first time in real life i come across some into this, tbh what do u think i should do?

@Nahm Really good question to reflect on and i share it with anyone here who likes to respond aswell I guess someone who is into this, doing self development work or in the way to it.. I was mesmerized by this guy because he seemed to talk and question every aspect of life like the people here use to. I still think I am wrong and that something happened to him but his sudden change of behavior. Anyway, after this change of his interest towards me I'lll be careful about his intention, but i'd still like to meet him someday (not a formal date, but more of a friend or acquaintance)

@Nahm Thank you! Perhaps the lesson learnt this time is how to spot fake conscious potential dates..but hey just wanted to discover it myself in an innocent first date

@aurum Yes, seen i got work to do regarding my tendency to attract these types men. the thing is that he just seemed the opposite by what he said..but providing this behaviour i cannot trust Also he claimed he wanted to make the most of these 2 moths he has ahead free from his career stuff. After that he'll either move further or lock at home studying. That's rush of thing make me think wether he is a player and gots so many options that needs to discard. Anyway it was not polite his sincerity. I appreciate being clear and all, but my view on that men sometimes make women feel bad when put so much stress their physiques..should not be a reason. Perhaps it was the photo, or just an excuse. Hope I learnt the lesson this time, but knotholes i am still waiting for him to contact me with a better excuse..

@hyruga Insole conversation we got he said he read about picking up/ dating advice for males...but that it had no real application and blah blah He said he thought about the "ideal female partner" qualities to look for..and all Now that i talked and think about it again, i realize perhaps he is way too exigent

@flowboy You nailed it. I feel totally identified with what you say about lack of models. Moreover, apart from this "dating" thing, my biggest issue in LIFE and my reason to initiate in all the self growth stuff was the damage my mother made me when i started to be an adult. I acknowledge that I am at "risk" of being a prey for these men. Your nailed it, as I mentioned. This particular guys it's true that with his pickiness and standards seem a bit aggressive and manipulator so it reminds me about my mother...don't know why. Still i got TONS of work to do with myself. I focused on my career, physical health, physique and intelectual stuff..but...being 33 y/o I'm still struggling with some basic stuff. Seems so hard work and so tiring eveytime i realized it..

Yes. If it should be the whole package i don't know why he is so offended dating girls below his standards

@flowboy Many thanks for your response! Well, seems he is super focused in achieving some career goals and claims to be SO PICKY nowadays reading relationships in general. Regarding romantic relationships he said he wants her to be intelligent, good looking, that cares about her health and physique..Honestly that's not something i lack of. In fact he confessed i met all his criteria for a long term relationship.. Yes, i feared to have suggestioned myself a bit about this "perfect" match, but not. The only thing i see as a red flags this "ego/narcissistic" thing of wanting it all from females. Come on...he is not that perfect. And yes! i wanted (both really) to meet in person and see how it goes, how the energy flows and everything. He seems to care a lot about communication, the way you write and talk..misses no detail in every audio, interaction we've got. That's what o do not understand this sudden change from him. We agreed dating with no pressure but now i wonder if he will ever set another date or if there's something i did not right. My mother is a toxic one...so no hep from there. My friends know of my (also) high standard regarding my wish to meet someone who is both into caring of his mind and physique...so whenever i told them to have find someone like this they approve..but never it's been like this time.

@somegirl Many thanks for your help! Well, seems i've been out of this dating thing for some time and need to re-engage in it..but this time i almost thought i've found the one with this guy

@somegirl That is also a fact, yes! hi studied very well the books and techniques.. im 33 and he is 35

@somegirl totally agree with you view on this it shocked me because we were like minded in some many principles and values..and after sending him another pic of me (plus the audio mentioned) he stop messaging and then responded with this i have confidence in myself and in my physique in face to face/ real connections..so i wonder what could have happened (perhaps my picture, my audio..don't no) do not wanna obsess about it but i'd like to find some mistake if my approach. Btw i am an independiente woman. I got a job and own my own place. Take care of myself physically and mentally (plus i am into this actualization world..) Come on..he still lives at mom's placement!!!

@aurum i thought it was the common excuse because he had other options nearby

@aurum Yes, i cared try not to put him on a pedestal but seems we matched almost most fundamental values and principles. Well, he claimed to be a very "high standard" guy so well..i appreciate that sincerity but hey, perhaps it's way too arrogant from him. Nonetheless i gave him a chance The last thing i shared was a pic of me (full dressed in winter clothes, smiling, natural look..) should be ok, and some audio with which he really end up disappointed about the topic. I gave him my opinion about physique in relationships. He puts SO MUCH stress on appearance and claims he has been lied by girls in their pics (he expected a 8 lets say and when he dated them he came up with 5 for example). I told him that in my personal opinion being so picky about physiques could led to harm to some weak women. He knows i am an usual gym goer, sport addict and have seen my overall physique...so i hide nothing. He got very disappointed about my view and about "how society is meant to behave not to damage other ppl.." He said perhaps it was not the best moment for our first date these days (he did not propose al alternative date) and that he appreciated being honest and that he wants to prioritize himself atm and not to think in anything else but himself. I do not understand a thing.

@Flowerfaeiry Thanks again for you help!!! well, we chatted and keeping it rational...it's the most obvious thing to expect form person who is moving away. The thing is that i am already emotionally involved it seems...and today that i've not heard from him it feels weird. I loved our intelectual/ flirty chats