TheSelf

I'm talking about a realization in which you see your true nature as meditation, not something you do or achieve, states belong to ego, reality is beyond it.

After this? Theres no after this! When you drop the identifications with the mind then you just remain as you are, Did you have any experience with it? How one can possibly go through these, see the mind, their experience for what it actually is drop it and realize their true self as Awarness beyond the mind, still be interested to pursue anything further? And what that could be that would be superior or deeper than Awarness or reality itself? So I'm asking you to see that the mind can only be interested to have fun pursuing mysticism, God, spiritual practices etc, when the identification drops or atleast weakens, All these spiritual egoic desires will be lost too.

Myself, my being. The mind looks for complexity and avoid the simple truth cause that's how it can survive the burning rays of it. The eye doesn't appear or disappear, It's always there, you don't cease to exist in sleep or any other states. I don't have such quality, I cannot open or close myself, I can only be myself, and be free. See, the mind looks for understanding, learning, thinking, contemplating etc, cause as long as these mental activities are there it survives the truth, you don't have to identify yourself with it, I-Awareness really don't care about anything but to be myself like I always been, I'm free from anything you think I should care or look for, but the ego wants to understand everything cause it's the way it survives, if it calms down then it merges back to it's source, me.

@James123 but you see you've been always you, you can't change nor be less or more than what you've always been.

@Breakingthewall Enlightenment is not just empty mind, though less thoughts coud be consequence of that, though it doesn't matter, a lot of people could less verbal thinking kind of mind almost silent but they suffer and have no clue about their true nature, therefore not enlightened. Enlightenment is when you see you are the eye to witness everything. The very sun itself, you shine and things could apear before you, in your light.

@James123 dont you feel like the body moves itself? or talking speaking happens but you don't feel like your are in charge of it, it just happens on its own, or basically any activity is done you dont feel you are the doer, you are just so free from anything and it's really really amazing and liberating.

@James123 what's enlightenment but recognition of that continuious unchanging choiceless awarness as yourself that lights the egoic states. But the work is not done yet when recognized, sticking to the contious background awareness is key to not fall asleep again, something "I" overlook and suffered immensely from the past one year. Specially in the past two days I just wanted to die and I did I died again today and awareness came to the forground once again and suffering stopped to some great degrees duo to hightened state of consciousness.

So I met a girl in a social group, we were seeing each other for like a month a few times per week, Eventually I pulled the trigger and asked her out, we've had some time together to get to know each other, and I asked her out for a date, It went very good, lots of laughs and so much to talk about (but no physical intimacy like touching or kissing), she told me she really really like me, but its been just a month that she's out of a past relationship... So I asked if she's interested to have multiple more dates, she agreed, After the date she changed her tone in chat to more of an emotional 🤔 But after just a week (I didn't see her the whole week) when she was back from a trip, she told me again that she's not ready for another rel since she's not recovered from past rel and lets not continue dating but she really wants me to have me as a friend in her life, She told me in a way that I sensed like she's asking me to wait for her 🤔 I told her that It would be challenging for me to manage my emotions for her and it doesn't work like that for me so I cannot be her friend, and then I told her that I'd better for me if I'm not gonna be in touch with her anymore... So I'm wondering and confused why she came for a date if she's not ready!!! So did I make a good decision to move on? I really miss her

I thought about this and came to conclusion that this uncertainty in her mind was my job to fix. Maybe I'm developing a bit too manipulative believes or view on this I don't know. But the difference between being ready or not was just a thought, i couldn't manage to let her inner emotions about me rise high enough to help her overcome uncertainties or negative thoughts she had about pursuing a new relationship. I'm still understanding it so maybe I'm wrong or maybe not.

@DefinitelyNotARobot you make a lot of sense to me, I appreciate you sharing all this man, thank you!

Well, you might be right also, btw I'm not feeling guilty or whatsoever But I'm just developing different view on this as I'm growing in my dating life and trying to understand better how women works She is just a girl, if she thought she were ready and at some point later felt different, it's my responsibility, not hers How she feels around me is hundred percent my responsibility, As a guy I should've make specific strategic moves to manage everything better. Im just learning here, I don't have any negative feelings at all.

@DefinitelyNotARobot so I'm just thinking about what you and @NoSelfSelfsaid and analysing the whole scenario Maybe i just acted too logical here, as Leo said, girls are girls, often illogical and confused, Im thinking that maybe whatever happened between us it was all my responsibility, if I was just acted a little different, removed the seriousness of the situation it could've gone differently right?

@Dodointeresting, you could be controlling their responses but since you were dreaming, you couldn't know! Otherwise the dream would've collapsed!

Damn, this was good, haha, any other ideas like this? Very interesting

Yeah, I guess I just have to move on, still not sure, but it was a good experience and learned bunch of stuff.

@DefinitelyNotARobot interesting, I gotta admit that what you described is not me yet, It's still quite shocking for me how illogical girls can be but I'm learning my lessons with every experience and working on myself to understand them better and deeper.

Good reminder! 👍🏻

@Leo Gura if I just keep ignoring her or giving her very little attention, wouldn't she lose interest in me and get cold over the course of time? If I were her I'd definitely go date someone else when I'm ready and not that person whom ignored me for like months! 🤔 It's a bit tricky actually, yes

@Leo Gura great advices! Definitely will not be waiting for her since I'm gonna make myself miserable this way. But how should I treat her in the meantime seeing her in the group? I just ignored her today while having fun and talkings with other friends and this was a bit heart breaking thing to do. Would it be okay to have some casual conversations here and there once per week or manage it in a way to not see her at all or like once per month? While having that space she could miss me this way and this is good, right?

@NoSelfSelf right, I thought about that too, I couldn't make the setting for that to happen, I'm just really friendly with everyone, but it could've happened in the next date, obviously you don't kiss everyone in the first date,do you? So I dont know if I messed it up or she is really really not ready for a relationship like she said.

Something I'm still a bit struggling to understand which is not really simple I know.. Is the past real or I am literally like fucking literally imagining every single moments that I "believe" to have experienced in the past? Please don't simply respond like "the past is imaginary" cause you never act based on this in your day to day life... No mental gymnastics here, I'm trying to know the truth about this subject.

This is so damn radical... How this can be integrated in day to day life since consciousness working hard to support the game and the illusion especially through others? Like when you only hear someone speaking to you in another room and not seeing him or her, are you highly conscious that that voice is all that there's and there's no person who is doing the act of speaking and so that that's why you can hear it? Like literally!?

Dude! This is literally your direct experience! Can you experience the past? No! you can only believe in your thoughts regarding past experiences! So if you drunk a glass of water a few moments ago, that actually didn't happen, you can only believe the thought which suggests it happened. I know this is so damn radical, but consider the possiblity that this actually might be the truth.

Anything in your perception, that includes your senses, thoughts (not what thoughts suggests you to believe but just the experience of the thought) and wherever else.

I'm looking for Absolute Truth regarding this subject, either it's real or unreal, I believe talking about a relative POV is just another mental game. What's the Truth? The truth beyond the mind game? That's what I'm looking for.