Intraplanetary

Agree. You ppl here looking for someone else's flaws. how silly.

Thanks. It looks as she has some great insights

I’m going through some weird and confusing time. I can see my whole life as a story. I literally lived my who life in a story I created it myself. Can't stop asking myself - WHO AM I? I defined myself by childhood traumas, by my experiences, cultural and societal rules and expectations, I lived a life as an image in the eyes of others. When I start thinking and drift away in another story about myself, I then I suddenly awake and come back into the present moment and see my myself being not here but in a story, pure imagination. It’s just imagination. There is nothing real about my life as an ego. I don’t really know who am I anymore. This experience of being absorbed in a story and then waking up from it to a present moment is very similar to meditation when you realise your mind is wandering and then you come back to your breath. Talking to someone is kind of weird because I see that what I say is part of a story and others take that information and think about it within the context of their own story. And what others say it’s just a story and I take that and interpret according to my story. Basically, everyone just creating their own stories depending on their experiences and how they define themselves, and all of these stories are getting wrapped together, adding more illusion. I constantly ask myself. Who am I if I’m not these stories? I felt as I’m like an open channel which has no identity or story. It’s undisturbed emptiness. I question everything. I feel very confused as I can’t trust my ego. I embrace it lovingly but at the same time I feel I can’t trust it and I need to question. It’s mentally hard but I need to do it I can’t drop it now. I feel I can’t go back. I wonder if these are symptoms of awakening or am I going through some psychological illness. Although I don’t feel as mentally ill. I feel more free and aware than ever before. But at the same time, I'm really confused and not sure how to talk about it. There is anyone in my life I could share and this makes me feel not sure about my experience. I avoid talking with my few friends I have and family because I change so rapidly. It’s like whatever I’m gonna say it today, it probably will change tomorrow. I’m in this constant flux. I’ve been also thinking that I need to ground myself. With exercising and good habits because I feel like I don’t have an anchor. I don’t know who am I as a person. What do I need to do? When you start losing your ego how do you ground yourself? Do I need to reinvent myself? Create a better ego? Can anyone relate? What do you think? Is this normal what I experience or am I on the road to la la land? Thank you ?

Thanks for saying this. I can now see that 5 years of inner work has finally started to produce real results... although I've never thought it's gonna be so difficult... but the enlightenment is not happiness.. right? I'm after the Truth.

He seems pretty unstable to me. I think he still has a lot to figure out for himself first

What misinformation exactly he's been spreading? I don't have Instagram so I really don't have an access to check it. I don't really know about him much at all. Found him today when someone posted on this thread. I liked his way of explaining ego though. I'm sure there may be things he says that I wouldn't agree with but with all those spirituality teaching people I like to pick the best pieces of wisdom and leave the rest... I watched this video, thank you for reminding me. I should definitely watch it again. However, I don't think I'm in construct-aware stage, I feel that I've just had few glimpses into it and it's still a long way. For the last two months, I've been feeling psychologically drained and physically fatigued. I lost interest in the realities of society and people. I couldn't focus on any activity that required mental focus. I couldn't even watch movies or anything like this. I've been in deep contemplation mode all the time. However, I'm trying to be productive and I make to-do list but very little gets accomplished. It's interesting you mentioned that you dropped structuring your day and started to follow intuition. Today, I've had thoughts about it. I was feeling like I restrict something in me by trying to structure my day and I'm just being too hard on myself in a way that I demand myself to do things in a specific manner. I feel I want freedom and that want comes from a deep place, hence I believe I can trust it. So I decided to stop planning completely. I just set the guidelines and objectives of what needs to be done this week and I'll allow myself flow through the day. My ego may take this and turn into justified laziness and procrastination gotta watch myself

haha yes it comes around very quickly

@Michael569 thanks for reminding me about Joanna Jinton. I admire her lifestyle.

To explore.

Thank you. Spot on. I found what I've been looking for.

Sorry, but you're taking a very long break...

niiice

Goddess ❤️

Thanks for sharing. I know Hicks she is great. Nicky Sutton videos thumbnails are too much.. all those colours and new age images.. not my style. I made an impression that her content is predominantly about new age stuff. For example, '14 Signs You're Moving Into 5D'. I feel like these are ideologies and while sometimes believing in higher energies and cosmology can help along the way, eventually, in order to really mature on your spiritual journey, you need to keep this kind of information at a minimum and not as the main teaching.

Totally, on the spiritual path, the sexuality is becoming very fluid, at least for me. I could easily fall in love with an alien. It's all about the Connection. When it's there it's there be it with a man, woman or allien.

@VeganAwake Okay yes, Teal. I know her for a long time but she never clicked for me. Although, I should take a closer look. thanks

Nah, I can't relate

haha I would marry her too

Thank you! Never heard anyone explaining what is ego in such a simple and insightful way. Amazing ❤️ Leo goes very deep in explaining ego. He always talks about ego as the totality of who we're, and it's good. His work is based on the astonishing depth. However, I feel that Aaron explanation is more practical as he separates higher and lower selves. Thanks again for sharing, very useful.

Yes. the negative self must be loved not to fight against.

It doesn't feel like a fight. It's more like coming closer to yourself. Not fighting not running not arguing just really coming to touch it. And ego knows that when you have courage and love to face it, it's the end of it.

Have faith and do everything you can to love your experience. Approach it with compassion. ❤️

That's how it feels. It's a very confusing and unfamiliar situation psychologically, extremely painful emotionally and draining physically. It's started at the beginning of December and I feel it's reaching the peak. Well, I hope... because to dig so deep, takes so much courage and strength. But this suffering is magical. It's so real and raw and I would never change it for any story.

this makes so much sense now. I constantly see the ego trying to frame my experiences into a new story, to explain to justify to make this way or that way. And although I awake to its doing, it quickly goes back in making another story. I accept that its the job of ego and my job is just to be aware.

I can relate to this so well. For the last few days, I've been experiencing a lot of emotional suffering. This is due to realising that my past, with all its stories and emotional baggage, is an illusion. However, based on my experience I can say that understanding is not enough. Now the real deal is happening as I'm re-experiencing my past. I'm going through repressed emotions that I neglected for the last 15 years. I feel the pain, hurt, disappointment and loneliness of my old self, feelings and experiences which I have never been present for and never attended consciously. But now, I can't ignore and escape ( I now can see! How can I keep escaping from myself when I know there is no self?). I feel and stay with all that pain of my old self. I move very close to it, as I'm becoming it, owning it. I touch it lovingly with so much compassion and forgiveness. And only then I can really see 'myself' go. It's a quite excruciating experience. Imagine your whole's life story disappearing before your eyes and you yourself consciously doing it. it's like tearing your face off, f@king willingly. Many faces of my ego are screaming for their life and I kill them anyway. with love and for love. I feel fear mainly because when there is no story I'm left with the unknown and I've never been there. It's unfamiliar and it's scary. I'm really alone with this. However, I have faith. If I can sit and fell through the suffering of letting go of my whole's life story, I'm trusting the universe that I'm held and loved because I'm going towards the Truth. Every time when I express deep gratitude for my experiences and say thank you for life exactly as it is happening to me, I burst into tears and my heart expands. Acceptance with gratitude - Magical. Perhaps, these 2 quotes could be used as the highlight to portray my experience for the last few days. I keep reminding myself of this profound wisdom and trust it. ''The ego is an iceberg. Melt it in deep love, so it disappears and you become part of the ocean.'' -- Osho Leap and the net will appear. -- John Burroughs ❤️