Kshantivadin

It's hard. Very hard. First check if you're someone a high quality person would be delighted to spend time with. If you got that box checked, put yourself out in places where you think someone like that would go and reach out relentlessly. Numbers game. One day you will wake up and be blessed with such people

Dear, just answer in your own pace. Never apologise or explain yourself.

This is kind of a Green masculinity and I believe that everyone should go through this phase. There is a lot more to masculinity and I don't think anyone should stop here. It would be such a shame to think that that's as far as one can go!

Brahmacharya is celibacy my friend. You refer more to some sex magick or jing/ojas cultivation.

it's by definition always going to be selfing if it's ego. that's why they speak in murderous and deathly terms in relation to it

I am dying of laughter... Attachment galore

When do you find it fitting to wake up? Do you believe one should wake up at all costs, as soon as possible? Or do we let him have a good rest first?

Can you back this claim when you have the time? Or anybody else.

@flowboy /thread

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I also want an accountability partner - specifically for my 4800 hours project (4800 hours until the end of the year and putting my time to good use). I believe it would be useful if someone were doing something similar to me - time management, optimisation, productivity. I mean, I could keep you accountable for getting out of bed and brushing your teeth, but I don't know if that would be a satisfying partnership. DM me. Edit: I was talking to anyone reading, not OP.

Can you write more about this part when you have the time?

The trap is people usually use this (myself included) to subtly give less than 100% effort and enable laziness and mediocrity and selling yourself short. The trap with the other approach is that some people don't do it gradually enough for it to be sustainable, like you said.

Tiny habits by BJ Fogg. Read it now. Immediately. Life-changing. Pertinent to your situation. The moment is never right - do not delay.

I liked your previous pfp way better good advice.

You are "rewarding" yourself for "abstaining" from something. It's okay to do it sporadically though, i.e. when the urges are very strong and you overcome them (cause this is a genuine success and should be celebrated). working on the basis of reward is something to outgrow ASAP as well. but with abstaining the problem also is that it's not actively doing anything, it's just refraining from an activity. so the only critical points where the abstaining is "active", is when the urges are somewhere around your strength level. otherwise there is no friction and thus no progressive overload

Nail on the head! point number 2 is basically waking up vs cleaning up a la Ken Wilber, think somebody already mentioned it. I appreciated your comment a lot. Breathes wisdom.

Don't replace addictions.

Games needn't be played when you learn to screen for girls that are into you. Why would you date anyone who feels otherwise? Then sell yourself. If somebody's answer is "no", you haven't given them the knowledge to say "yes". In fact, you want none less than a "fuck yes" both ways. Conscious dating please. Heal instead of hurting.

I could also posit that one loves reality too much so he only eats not to be hungry, and of course if one is loving he will eat good foods. More important things to do than to experience food

yoga, photography. a lot of limiting beliefs

I would just love to express love and gratitude for this thread. Strength in numbers and experience in this huge maze, time to make a personal development trap wiki

Big traps I can think of: Spirituality: not being aware of ego backlash confusing the Absolute with the relative thinking that you're done with the work not having a teacher to interact with using spirituality to avoid life, suffering and reality conceptualising and intellectual understanding instead of visceral, embodied understanding and wisdom adopting ideas as truth before understanding them yourself Self-help: thinking that happiness depends on anything external sleeping on life, delaying living with any excuse : "when i finish x, when i do y, when i achieve this, when i fix that, then I can start living!" being satisfied with mediocre results, having the "any benefit is good" mindset I'll expand the list when I have more time, taking into consideration what other members will have said. Let me know what you all think of these, I would like to identify the biggest traps of this work, ideally make a tier list. I think it's possible.

You know the answer. In fact, you answered your own question in this very post Aspect of life is a distinction. Feel yourself. If you're the "fix one then move to second" guy, then by all means go do that. Maybe identify the aspects, and make a priority list. Some things fit well with others (going out to relax and practice social skills from working on a heavy project) - and others don't (studying driving after studying for uni). Or maybe they do. Practically, look into Deep Work. This will help you dish out intense output either in creative endeavour or improvement, while also giving you time to work on the soft skills of personal development, along with recharging for the next deep work.