Adodd

It can be anywhere from paper white to very dark yellow depending on purity. Things like nmt content and plant fat content affect its color. But its not always yellow. Also not always fluffy. Sometimes is quite waxy depending on the same variables. The "new shoe" smell is the best way to tell in my experience.

what to do? Of you dont want to do psychedlics now than just don't do them. Or take a break. No worries. Easy peasy. ?

Hahaha. Hey, quite a well played and effective run in with anger though.

This depends@Godishere . Is it a relatively nice estate? If so id be happy to accept it from you. Ya know, for... Love and metaphysics and stuff.?

A pic i took of a part of a page in one of Joseph Campbell's book that resonates with this experience.

Psilohuasca is said to make shrooms dosages twice as strong. So maybe more like the effects of 12 grams. I took 90mg of harmala extract taken in maybe 1 ounce of orange juice than took 6 grams of mushrooms(lemon tek) approximately a half hour later. 20 mins after taking the shrooms I began to feel a very slight head change from the harmalas. I planned to take a warm shower than make my way to my bedroom. I hopped in the shower and within a couple minutes I began to start feeling slightly distant from physical reality. Not a high feeling or even a normal psychedelic feeling. Just felt a bit distant from reality and my "self" if that makes sense. I sat down in the shower to relax and this feeling of being distant was quickly becoming stronger and stronger. After maybe 5 mins or so I started feeling spacey and disoriented and began zoning out. I became unable to feel almost any connection with my body or normal state of mind. I started feeling a slight panic feeling. I wasn’t panicking but my body seemed to be. The panic subsided but the feeling of being distant was so intense that I felt as if control over my mind was almost completely gone and that was enough to start to make me worry what was going to happen when this got stronger. "Will I completely lose myself and my judgement so much that I am going to do something stupid?" Staying on that train of thought for even a short time was begining to make me panic again so I decided to get out of the shower and head to my bedroom. I turned off the shower, grabbed my towel but was so zoned out into an almost deep meditative feeling state, that drying off felt impossible. So I slowly slid down and sat back down in the shower with the towel in my lap and stared off completely zoned out for Idk how long. I eventually realized what was happening and managed to crawl out of the shower onto the floor of the bathroom. As I was sitting on the bath mat on the bathroom floor I began to lose the feeling of myself being located where my body was located. I also began to lose my usual sense of self. I tried to resist this and extreme panic and resistance VERY quickly began to take over but no matter how hard I I tried to resist this feeling of losing myself, it kept getting stronger and stronger. And I cant quite describe what happened next. "I" was no longer in a state of analyzing or even knowing that I was a person on the ground in a bathroom on psychedelics. I was blank. I was dead. I felt nowhere, and like nobody and felt nothing, like what I thought perception meant was just gone. What I would normally call "me" did not exist. I stayed this way for, I would GUESS, at least an hour until I became aware again. But not aware in the normal sense. Aware as in a sort of nonlocalized and unattached awareness. Just aware. Unbiased awareness. I think at this point someone could've ran in the bathroom and cut my throat with a machette and I wouldve just watched. Without resistance or panic or care at all because I no longer identified with this body as the "I" like usual. I was no longer a human body or brain or ego. I was just the awareness of reality. I did not think "oh im awareness of reality" I just WAS. I had feeling of a realization that this was actually always the case but the drugs had somehow removed the distractions that always stoped me from realizing this. I than found myself kind of back into my body and thought WOW! Everything that is distracting me from what "I" really am is so remarkably well designed! But designed how? And than the realizaton happened of"Oh designed by me!!!" I marveled at the complexity and the perfection of this and I immediately began laughing! I felt like everything and all of existence and reality had always just been me playing the game of god playing hide and seek with himself and I finally found me! Everything made so much sense, NOTHING could possibly be more obvious than this now that the distractions and illusions were gone. Of course! How could I have not known! Still naked I uncontrolably became exhausted and fell face first into the clothes on the floor and began mutter "It could be no other way it could be no other way" over and over and over again until I lost the feeling. The realization was and knowing was gone. I felt much more back in my body again and tried to remember and think about it again. I couldn’t quite put my finger back on it no matter how hard I tried. I spaced completely out for a few mins fell face first again into the clothes and went right back into it, than sat up and lost it, fell face first again and went back into it, sat up and lost it, fell and went back, probably a dozen times until I sat up and was completely back in my completely back in my body and terrified. I was once again a human body on a floor on psychedelics after just being boundless. had the weirdest panic attack possible for maybe an hour, forgot who I was or what was happening. I finally thought to change my setting. I struggled to my bedroom and focused on my breath until the panic was gone and I was filled with a sense of love and bliss like I have never known. I effortlessly realized so much of my childhood traumas that I never realized before and felt instantly healed from them. There was forgiveness and complete understanding of those who I was unknowingly holding grudges against for so many decades. The rest of the night and part of the next day I just felt completely out of my mind. I had no visuals, no auditory hallucinations or anything else that I was expecting during the entire trip. I have tripped maybe 30 times and never have I ever had something even remotely close to this. All of my nn dmt trips seem like NOTHING compared to this.

@halfknots @halfknots I used freebase harmalas. I like freebase haramalas because they can be smoked/vaped, swallowed, or used sublingualy. I dont have any experience with rue but I assume it would be similar. Just be careful. My judgememt was completely gone. I like to be alone while I trip, nobody was around me but I did have a sitter in the same house just to be safe. Start with low doses of psilohuasca. It is really not the same as taking shrooms. It is its own unique sort of synergy.

Karma is not as much about justice as it is that one thing leads to another. "If you do something bad something bad will happen back to you because of karma" is a missunderstanding of karma. In this sense good and bad are only relative. Reality doesnt consider your behaviors good or bad. There are just results. Why do you say rape is bad? Its good to the rapist. So wpuld something good happen to the rapist because on gis world he did something good? Going to prison for rape is karma. A rapist getting off and feeling good afterwards is also karma. I think Leo has a video on karma but I cant remember what its called. I have also not watched it.

Try lions mane coffee a couple hours before taking the lsd. Be very careful about the lions mane though as most lions mane on the market is not actually effective!

I knew it was gonna be crazy haha. But I was ready to begin a new chapter and knew that i needed a powerful experience. Guess I got what i asked for.

@BipolarGrowth oh ok. I see what you mean now. Yeah i have been thinking and talking about nothing else since this happened. My life will absolutely never be the same. Even though the "state" of complete clear understanding is long gone my "self" can never be the same. Yesterday I was gardening and there was a moment where I began rubbing a leaf and came back to the feeling of "I am just consciousness. There's only one consciousness which constitutes all things. This makes me this leaf just as much as my body. " I also thought about how all things are just different incarnations of consciousness so I am simultaneously all things throughout all of time simultaneously. Full of bliss and gratitude I just laid in the grass for a few minutes feeling connected in a new way. I dont even need to specifically consider how i feel about my self dying because only the body will die. Not I. I dont think my work is finished but instead I feel lile I have a solid foundation to begin building a new life. Starting a new chapter was the intention of this trip.

@BipolarGrowth I have always been pretty good at integrating my trips. This one leaves me stumped though. How can something so powerful be integrated? My meditation practice will definitely increase but this was something beyond what I think meditation will ever be able touch. This was impossible. Even for trip this was impossible. Beyond concept. How can this even be accurately contemplated? How can my mind contemplate something which is now already impossible to understand. By the end of the night i was speaking of this in the past tense. The only way I could imagine integrating this would be returning to it multiple times. Idk if that's even plausible.

@Insightful27 Whatever you choose to do, best of luck. I can only imagine how far you will get in life by taking this work seriously at this young of an age. Watch a variety of Leo's videos on different subjects as well as other teachers that you vibe with. Dont JUST watch but watch and pay close attention. Taking notes helps me. Read. Start meditating if you havent yet. It's NOT all going to be fun either. Sometimes you will have real struggles. It will all be worth it.

@Insightful27 Not yet!!!! And not because you are "too young" exactly but because your brain hasnt finished developing. You might just end up going backwards and making this path MORE difficult for you. There are tons of other great ways of increasing your consciousness. IF you dont take our advice, i assume you will not, make sure you have a sitter! You have no fucking clue what you are getting into I PROMISE. Your sitter cant be a 16 year old homie that thinks it will be just a fun time either. Look into how to tripsit with the person you will have tripsitting you. I hope you make the right choice.?✌

@Stratos Leo's life purpose course might be very useful for you. Well worth the money. Also read"finding your element" by Ken Robinson. https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/finding-your-element-how-to-discover-your-talents-and-passions-and-transform-your-life_lou-aronica_ken-robinson/364544/item/6761747/?gclid=CjwKCAjwqeWKBhBFEiwABo_XBmnKy2G47szc78iTSdRkU3OwERHVDoLUf7nz0VdpeD7MWz-B_LdT9xoCDuoQAvD_BwE#idiq=6761747&edition=8086006

I think when he said "these Buddhists" he just meant these buddhists which were being spoken of. Not something judgy or arrogant.

Wage slavery is WACK. Haha. Ive been fired from every job i have ever had. And its not even because I'm a shitty worker.

@Nahm oh shit.

I cant get past feeling that "I" (whatever that is) is located within my body. I realize how I am not actually my body. But I sure as hell feel located within it. Help me understand why that's wrong.

Oh. Touch'e.

Sell them. Thats how.

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@Knowledge Hoarder If one can eat either a vegan or carnivorous diet and be healthy either way, should one not choose the diet that causes the least suffering and least destruction to our planet? Regardless of anyone's opinion? I agree with that. Opinions dont matter. Destroying lives and our planet however does. I would say that counts as "harming" others, why is harming others not just as much of a turn off as harming yourself? Your choices in diet can harm more than just yourself and ignoring that part and acting like its not real counts as "delusional". Fruitarianism has nothing to do with veganism. Totaly different animals. This is why i put emphasis on how healthy a PROPER vegan diet is. I'm sure any of us can find a ton of cases of people changing to anydiet and having bad effects. But notice how being unhealthy from eating shitty vegan food does not mean being vegan makes you unhealthy. This goes for almost any diet.

Does it do me any good to keep learning about enlightenment before it happens to me? I have heard enough to feel a calling. Is that enough? I can understand why any way that I interpret enlightenment must be wrong. So if I can not wrap my mind around it, is it time to just drop it, forget the videos for now and do the work? Or is it helpful to have a strong mental idea of it?

@Danioover9000 Right you are!