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@Leo Gura Thanks this is very useful for me aswel!

@lmfao That I can recall. What you mean is that you have no control over your mind. Meditating + going to a gym or doing some sport with a friend (to motivate you) is going to help a lot! I also used stratera for a month, it's quite expensive but it helps me during a period that I have very much on my mind, helps me to get a lot of things done. It gives me more control over myself. It's like i'm seeing more of the total image, which I think is harder for us sometimes. But it's a good thing to try and create a commonplace book, because for me it's also some kind of mental meditation. I'm much more aware of myself when I'm adding stuff to my commonplace book.

@lmfao I understand what you are going through and have. I have ADHD myself and for my whole life I know it's harder for me to learn, to concentrate and to live a full-filled and succesful live. I have been through hell to find myself. SHIT! I'm even far from it. But the thing that keeps me going every single day is to babystep. I found it fucking difficult to have a girlfriend. Now I'm together for 3 years with a lovely girl. For me it was hard to get a bachelor degree, well I'm almost there. You know for us it will be so much harder than neurotypicals. It's frustrating sometimes but these are some things I use to get me through my life. Read books about ADHD & Dyslexia: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau (is a good one to start) It might be hard for you as for me... So what do I do? I push myself to read 5 pages every single day, a bad or a good day. When I have a wonderful day I try to do more. But make sure that you don't forget what's in the book so use a notebook, where you write things down about the subject. It helps you remember better and it also a good place to look back to. The one I use is Microsoft OneNote it is completely free and easy to use. Check out leo's video about commonplace book. And please don't be mad at yourself of not doing shit. Be happy what you've achieved on a daily bases. Things we should try to avoid (I'm not saying I'm mister perfect but at least try to :') ): - Overuse of technology (before bedtime), for me I installed an old alarm clock again. I also love to listen to music before I go to bed so I've started using my iPod shuffle instead of my smartphone. These are small changes that helps me get some sleep - Skipping sleep - Hyper focus gaming (I know it's awesome) Thinks that really does help for me: - Structure (Try to make structure in every thing, even if it takes you to hell), use a agenda (even if we don't look at it) for small things - Support (Don't be mad if you can't do something on your own, we need support) - Strategy (The one you learn yourself, like use another room to charge, only read & study in a certain room, don't bring your phone with you) Technology: Apps or websites I use: Google Keep: For my thoughts, everything that come to mind. Meistertask: To get my shit done (at least trying) Google Agenda: To remember appointments Microsoft OneNote: To keep a commonplace book. Google Assistant (To say : 'remind me' OR 'create an event') Subreddit /adhd: To see how people with ADHD solve problems, to feel that i'm not the only one out there. BLACK & WHITE: If you do computer work, try to put your screen in black&white, so that you don't get distracted by very interesting looking ads or images. I do that when I have a lot of work to do. It really helps me! I know we always aim for a structured live, the one where we will read a book a month, but it isn't that simple. It's all about Babysteps. Read about it first, then therapy. I'm considering to do therapy myself just so I could talk about it with someone who knows a lot about ADHD, a coach that keeps me on track with my goals. And one thing we must do is exercise, it calms our brain and makes it much easier to read. I try to exercise at least 3 times a week. Peace out brother. If you need a person with ADHD to talk to don't hesitate to send me a DM.

What I would recommend in your case is to specifically read self help books about ADHD, it will help you see things more clearly and help you realise you are not the only one out there. I have ADHD myself and it's very hard for me to focus aswel. But what does help is reading a lot about the topic. Maybe joining some ADHD forums. Our brain works different on a lot of different ways than neurotypicals that's why it might be interesting for you. A book I would recommend is: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau It actually tackles a lot of problems. The other thing what I would recommend is to try and use a notebook. To follow and measure your progress, to put all your thoughts and information in. The one I use is Microsoft OneNote it is completly free and easy to use. Check out leo's video about commonplace book

@FindingPeace Thanks for the respond, I was going to do that and I know I can talk about that with her we are very open and she will probably understand. Thanks for all the advice here!

@STC Thanks man to put some things in perspective for me. It's just hard that I want it so bad, but she likes to skip the foreplay too fast in my opinion, and when we do likes she wants it, I feel like it's not the same. So once we had longer foreplay and that was the time she was exactly really crazy about me... But since that one time when I build that up too long she got a little low confident and we actually stopped for a while, I felt so bad at that moment that I'm a little afraid to try the same thing that drove her once so crazy... The practice to last longer is just by myself, I try to stop when I feel it will coming, and that actually helps me to control it. And indeed she doesn't like it when I lick her I mean in the beginning she was okey with it, she once said in the beginning of the relationship that she didn't like it, but then we had like 6 times of sex and then and she didn't mention it anymore but now she's like I don't like that... So I don't do that anymore... @pluto I will try and do that again, I mean that's the best thing when you have sex... To get her crazy when you tease her, she was really begging that one time... But when I tried to do that again she was annoyed that I waited too long...

Hi all I'm 3 months together now with my girlfriend, I mean she's awesome. I think that's normal that I think that way the first couple of months, I mean we have a lot in common. It's crazy... We have the same mutual interests, we could talk for hours, she thinks the same like me. And I understand how she feels and sometimes she's so shocked that I know exactly what she thinks and wants. But what I think for me is sometimes hard is I'm 21 and she's my first actual sex partner. Sometimes I can't stand the idea that she's been with 4 other guys before me. She's 22 btw... It's just the idea, that is sometimes weird. But I'm okey with it because probably kissed more girls then she kissed guys and I lost my virginity very late. But for me it was hard, I didn't want to do it with the someone I don't have a relationship with. I had a kind of one night stand this summer, but I during foreplay I realised I don't want her to be my first. I know I'm a guy and this sounds maybe a little stupid I don't know. But for sex I want trust. For sex I wanted to have a girlfriend. So now we are actually really happy together, she loves me so much I feel that, and I feel the same. Even her mom adores me. But the problem is that It's really hard for her to have an orgasm, she actually said she never had one or something like it's almost impossible. So I feel like an idiot, I don't know how to give her an orgasm, I tried couple of things but I just don't know what do to. I make sure the sex is about her and in the beginning I came to fast. I'm much better now but still not there yet. I tried some exercises those really helped me out. I just don't know what to do. I experienced once that I was very close I guess because, she wanted more and more. And I had to leave because I had to make sure I was on time home, the way she looked at me that moment was crazyyyy. Like wohoww. I want that back, that moment. But that I know that wasn't an orgasm... I watched a video from Leo, he explained that a women should have multiple orgasms I want to give her that. Usually when I cum, it's like it's game over. It's like the sex ends there. Is that normal? But that one time 'she was more crazyy about me, she wanted more... much more. ' Is there a way to train this, to handle this sort of problem. I don't believe she can't have an orgasm... If she never experienced that, I want to make sure that I show her that it's possible. Even if I'm quite unexperienced. I know this shouldn't be the number one thing in a relationship, but it's something I want some advice on.

What I would do is I would make some kind of physical attraction, so you touch her, you hug her. But make sure that nothing is really forced... And when she feels comfortable with you and you have the feeling when you look at her, she only has her eyes on you and the eye contact is there. Read books about that topic, it does really help because women give some kinds of hints towards the kiss. One of the things a girl did to me was I talked to her for like an hour and she only had her eyes on me so I basically knew, it's possible... And then she gave me a big hint, she said let's go outside. So you are alone with her, control the situation lead the situation, hug her en then eventually kiss her. If she gave you some kind of hint towards the date, then you basically know, that she wants you, so you obviously know it's not friendship. I would take her somewhere where you see she is really attracted to you. One of the things that are also possible is at a party, you dance close with her and then suddenly you kiss her. For me that's quite hard, but I learned it... I basically kissed 2 women at a party once without even saying a word, just by dancing. So it's possible, sometimes you need to think about what would happen if you not kiss her. Maybe if you never kiss her, she will think you have no balls and you are a friend to her. But don't think that you have to kiss every girl that you date, sometimes you feel that you're not that attracted to her, then I would not recommend doing that. I did that too many times, just for fun.

@MarcusJ @Leo Gura Yeah would be awesome... Still a few months later, I kept on dating met bunch of cool girls. But I still can't get my thoughts of her. So I try to avoid her but she comes back. Tomorrow we are dating again because she kept asking me out and every time I thought of changing the subject. But after 3 times I was like why not, maybe.. I mean I am the guy, normally I fix the dates... That's why I never ask her again... When we've dated before a few months ago I showed her around some great places at the end of the date she asked my number. When I just wanted to kiss her to say goodbye like a friendship kiss, it all got a little awkward because she went for something more I guess, and I thought of less. They are like 5 years with each other seriously, I don't want to destroy that. On her pictures she looks so happy with her life and him. Now I feel like I don't really need a relationship but with I'm with her it's like I'm so much more confident and myself. It's like the best version of me, I have never felt this way with anyone before. And like the strange thing is sometimes I have the feeling at work that she needs me even more than I need her. In 1 year of actualizing I learned so much it's crazy! But how to get someone out of your head woww, that's so goddamn hard, because every single time I meet someone new. It's just not the same mutual attraction... Sometimes it's easier said then done... maybe some advice Leo would give is to completely avoid her. I already tried as much as I can to do that! At work I'm not going to her anymore because I want to fucking move on. But again she comes to me... Next week I have a date planned, with a nice girl. I guess she also has a lot of potential... I hope that works out! Tomorrow I will have more insights, then I guess this post will be completely different. Maybe I'm looking at the whole situation like fairytale land. From every thing I learned so far, I know it's not just friendship, I feel the attraction. But I just need to figure out a way to just be cool with her and be friends...

Hi all Now a few months later, I followed all your guys advice. I went on dating and flirting around during the summer. I finally had my first sexual experience which is quite late for a 20 year old I know. But I feel like I'm getting better each day, 2 years ago I kissed my first girl (myself) and I was crazy shy. Now 2 years later I kissed 14 girls and had my first sexual experience. Friends see me interacting with girls and say that I'm much smoother and so much more confident. I see so much more signals of girls and I feel the attraction. It's strange but I'm so much more myself, I love being out there talking to new people. From that one night stand I had I realised that okay it might be good for my personal development, but I just did it for fun I didn't really love the person. Okay she was attractive but that was all. I mean I never hear or will see that person again because it was on a festival abroad. And what I don't understand is a friend of mine is extremely shy, social awkward and had a serious relationship for like a year. The girl had to kiss him because he was too shy to do it. That guy had more sexual experience with that 1 girl than I ever had. I mean that's so strange? I'm here personal developing each day, one step a time and my friend just stays home the whole day gaming and had a relationship... I mean like common. And she was actually quite social and attractive. So what bothers me about that is that my experiences don't lead to a relationship, not all of them need to but still, do I come over too needy or too unserious? I don't really know. I try not to think about it that much, I don't really need a relationship. I can perfectly be happy alone since I finally accept myself, but I would love to flirt or kiss or have sex with someone I truly love...

Hi all! I have a question I'm 20 years old and I feel like I can do so much more with my life. Now during the holidays I set my alarm around 8:30 and then I wake up around 10AM. I always snooze a lot. I feel like I don't really have a strict discipline in my life. I will always wait until the last moment to do something. I've tried lots of times to fix that but I always relapse. When I have a meeting somewhere I will always come a late. Because I'm just not ready at the time. I have ADD which I try not to think about it that much. But when I read about it on the internet I see that it's a common problem for those with ADD. What really helps me to feel better and to be much more active is to go exercising. I do indoor cycling. A funny fact is that I love my weekend job and that's being a waiter, I already went 17 times and I have never come late. Actually I'm there 15 minutes before... I know that's crazy right. When I need to shower I always want to scroll a little longer on Facebook or Instagram, that's actually where I lose lot's of time or I listen to another song in my bed before I get out! Emotionally it's not that I'm depressed or anything but I feel like I need more energy and more concentration and discipline. But I really don't know how to start with it and to actually not relapse. I hope you guys have any suggestions, like books I could read or some LEO videos. (most of them I've already watched, but maybe not enough). Thanks

@carlo I think what Leo means is in a whole different circumstance. I personally think she is trying to see how you react. Maybe you don't have to bother so much about it... I personally think that one way or another you have to stop thinking that she's the only one and that your ugly. Because one way or another she feels that. And if the relationship ends, it's not the end of the world you know... Remember a girl can never be your life purpose... Focus on your self esteem, I recommend reading self help books, it helped me change my mindset a lot!

Very well written.@IndependantKouhai ;-) @JevinR Just do it didn't help me either I still need to work on my discipline which for me is still a big issue sometimes ,but the thing about it will all workout in the end I guess you're right about that. In the end it will all be alright I also believe that's bullsh*t! I'm glad I don't have that mindset anymore because you could go with the flow and do like all the rest does of lift your ass up and become something that indeed will be alright in the end. But as long as you think it will all be alright and keep gaming and waste your time on TV, you waste time of this oh so precious life. @ExitDone When I was reading about your story I got goosebumps. What I mean with that is I also had some equal issues . What you describe is you have a bad relationship with your parents. You are in a loop of doing the same things over and over again, and it's very good that you're aware of that and you are willing to change. That was for me the biggest step. I also had a bad relationship with my parents a year ago, so I decided to study in a city far away. It completely changed me but I wasn't very happy there, so after a year I went back and realized what I had: a home. My relationship with my parents increased enormously and I could finally take care off myself. What I want to say about that is, it's a very good decision to go do something completely different. But you have to realize that it will be pretty damn hard, because everything is up to you know. Cooking, shopping, finding a good job. If I was you I would start by making a big plan (don't go unprepared), keep watching those amazing self improvement videos, never quit doing that. It changed me a lot in one year, like I said since I watched those videos it made me 5 years wiser really. If I was you and I would go to England I would start by looking for a job and look for a good sport to practice. It's a good way to get the know more people there and you are again more out of your comfort zone. What improves my social fear enormously is to be a waiter or a shop assistant so that you are always in contact with people. Don't put your expectations to high, that's one of the mistakes I made. But realize how far you've grown step by step.

So great to read all these opinions about my topic. I haven't heard her now in like 6 days, I know we still like each other, but I feel better this way. It's tough and hard but I need to move on and look for other fish in the sea. It's a really good girl that I will keep as a friend, because she's awesome but I won't get so close anymore because I would feel trapped. Now there are exams where I need to focus on.

Thanks all for responding to my topic, I think I will back off a little because like Harry said it does slowly ship away my self-esteem. Because I feel like I'm wasting my energy and I could never get the girl I want? Now, I know what girl I really want in life, I mean I made a list and she matches a lot. And I will try to hint wether she would mind me dating other girls, because I guess I should start doing that again... So I'll keep on reading and start reading those 3 books over and over again. In 3% men he also said that you should read it 10-15 times. So I guess I still have some work to do. Thanks again I really appreciate that!