rightnow

Great post! I have had similar feelings. It is a beautiful time to slow down and the situation itself is a very good subject to contemplate. From a hypothetical point of view, I think it is very generative to imagine this evolving to a negative extreme. It helps you recognize or reconnect with what you value most in this particular life - and then marinate on it while you have sufficient downtime. Regarding the hysterical nature of common media coverage, I think this too has an important place. For people at earlier levels of psychological development, this is exactly the type of message they need to receive. A lot of people need to have the shit scared out of them in order to take the measures that are in the best interest of the species. Otherwise, I can see people being much less reactive. For those of us who can see it in a bigger picture, those news stories are interesting entertainment if nothing else (if taken with an appropriate grain of salt). And of course, there is still plenty of valuable information to be taken from it. I am looking forward to Leo's return. This is all evolving so fast and at such a large scale, I can't help but think he will have some valuable insights.

Hi all, I am reaching out to you in desperation. I have been following actualized.org video content among other personal development/ spiritual teachings for the past 3 years or so. I have come a long way, but i have reached point that I can’t seem to deal with right now. I have been poking about the forums for the past few months, so I thought this may be a good place to reach out for guidance. I am currently completing my thesis in my second last semester of architecture school. I have integrated what I have learned about spirituality, non-duality, etc. in my work. These themes have become of genuine interest to me in a general sense, not just for personal development, so I felt it would be interesting to bring it into my work. This has proven to likely have been a great mistake. Obviously you know, discussing non-duality to most people is difficult in general. I foolishly assumed that the faculty at my school would be open to exploring this. While they have not explicitly condemned my ideas, they have been resistant to trying to understand it or help me do anything other than turn it into architecture as we know it. I won’t go into detail of what I am proposing, but basically I have taken the stance that the environment around us is more than plentiful; we do not need to keep building, but rather learn how to see and subtly articulate what is. I have not received much encouragement on this so far, largely because people just don’t get it. Due to my various neurosis, I have slowly been brought down. I have realized how dependent I am on approval and encouragement from others, so maintaining my energy and excitement about this relatively obscure work has been quite taxing. I am aware of this issue, among others, but at this point, acknowledging it is not enough. I have some deep work to do to overcome this. I have to contemplate whether this is even what I want to do. Deep down I believe it is, but I am going to have to devote some major time to finding the specific path in it that is suitable for me. I love to create - buildings are fundamentally no different than the rest of the landscape; this is my place to contribute to the environment we operate in, physically and spiritually. Regardless, at this point I am breaking down. I failed my presentation and I have to re-present next week. I also have to write a 20 page essay about the work, do work for my elective class, etc., all in less than 2 weeks. I am overwhelmed. I am on a roller coaster between positive, forward energy and ego backlash on a day-to-day basis. The down phases are taking up too much time and compounding such that I am getting less and less done. I believe I can still make it through this, but my opportunities are dwindling. I have come this far and I do not want to forfeit it all now. I know this is really just the ego talking, but “I” don’t seem to have much else right now. When I am in an up-phase, when I am excited about the work, everything seems like an opportunity. To me that signifies that deep down, I am genuinely doing the right thing. But the self-doubt and ego backlash is coming on too strong, too frequently at this point. I am looking for a way to embrace the up-phases and build on them so I can get through this work and find more consistent enjoyment in it. To be clear, I am not asking for help on the project, but more generally about managing my emotions so I can function and produce in the limited time I have left this semester. I will note that I feel particularly susceptible to getting overwhelmed. I have so much to do. I am aware, at least as a concept, that I must focus on one thing at a time. But i can’t seem to retain that focus. All aspects of my work are so closely interrelated that I am inevitably reminded of all the other things I need to do when I try to settle into one manageable chunk. This quite often becomes so bad that I will spend, literally hours, worrying about what I should devote my time to, hardly doing any actual work. Then I spiral out of control and break down as I see how much time I have wasted. Again, I can observe this happening over and over, but I can’t seem to get any control of it in the present. I am realizing this is an ingrained behavior that has been active long before I started personal development. I know it is not something that can be completely shifted overnight, but I usually seem to at least be able to power through it toward the end. I don't know if I am simply becoming more doubtful because I am gaining awareness of the core issues, or if I am actually declining. Either way, I would like to get some type of temporary traction to pull through this last stretch, for now. If you have any advice, please share. If you need me to elaborate on anything, please ask - I Know there are no shortage of other factors contributing to this. Sorry about my abrupt entrance to the forums. Thank you. Ben.