Husseinisdoingfine

This is a frustrating situation that I'm in, but here we go. So the University I attend is part of the University System of Maryland. This matters because in this system, there is a policy in which a student must not be allowed to repeat a course more than three times. The first time I took Calculus I, I dropped it (counts as first attempt) because there were too many classes on my schedule and I was overwhelmed. The second time, I accidentally missed my final exam and scored and F in the class. The third time just happened, and I scored a D. It was a reduced 6-week summer session. I should have visited the office hours of the professor, as well as the supplemental instruction, but didn't because I thought my knowledge from the previous attempt would transfer over. I needed at least a C grade in order to qualify for Calculus II and Physics II. I earned a B in Physics I, but because my grade in Calculus I is a D, I no longer am eligible to earn a Physics degree at this University as I have failed to earn the requirement. I filled out a petition requesting that my major be changed to Sociology, for which I'm very unhappy about. Sociology is not a profitable degree, its practically on the same tier as Gender studies. I chose it because its my other passion, part from Physics. Because Sociology is not a degree which can earn me a good job out of college, I feel very hopeless and distressed. I also feel very inferior, how was I not able to pass Calculus I for fucks sake, what is wrong with me. That's a freshman throwaway class! I don't understand this about myself, but anything that involved Calculations, I simply cannot do. I remember I had to do take a mandatory Computer Science class, for which I scored a D in. We had to solve binary problems, converting 1's and 0's into numbers, and vice versa. I rehearsed this numerous times the day before, but on the day of the test I simply looked looked at the paper and I couldn't remember what I had just rehearsed the day before at all. On my second attempt of Calculus I, I had failed every single weekly quiz, how does that happen? Not one quiz did I score an A grade on. Even in my mandatory chemistry class, I scored a D because the highest grade I got on any exam was a C, despite going to office hours and studying for each test two weeks in advance. Because in chemistry, there are calculations required to balance the different electrons and such. On my final exam day, I just walked out the room with half the test blank because I looked at the page, and I couldn't remember anything! I had studied, studied a lot, but the individual calculations I couldn't remember, despite practicing the week before. My original plan to ensure my survival of working for SpaceEx or something like that just flew out the window, and the only forceable solution for my situation is suicide. Even if I do complete this degree in Sociology, what am I supposed to do with it? I have already bought a rope, for which I have tied into a slipknot, and saved into my backpack. I printed out a note, explaining my justifications and reasonings. I as well have a location and a plan. I will simply go to the stairwell of the on campus apartments, and hang myself from the metal beams comprising the staircase railings. The advice on how to hang myself comes from this website: *Edit: link deleted, but it was a suicide website which provided explicit instructions on how to commit suicide* Edit | tldr: My university has a policy preventing students from re-taking a course more than three times. I failed to pass calculus I with a grade of C or better on my third attempt, meaning I'm ineligible for a Physics degree as Calculus I is mandatory. I switched my major to my other passion, Sociology, but Sociology is not a profitable major. With my career plans in the toilet, I have decided that my only option is suicide.

I live in Maryland.

Update: Ever since I've changed major's my life has been on a downwards spiral for which I see no hope recovering from. I eat incredibly unhealthy, now frequenting McDonald's almost every day. I have gone from quitting smoking, to yesterday smoking my first full pack of cigarettes, all in one day. I'm enrolled in now easier social science classes, but I skip just about every lecture as I'm too depressed. My grades are tanking because I don't do any of the work. I'm in a state of ever growing hopelessness and a feeling of constant lethargy, that I don't see a way out of. I've stopped sleeping, I don't eat healthily, I've as well stopped meditating and working out. What's the point? I did those things to become a stronger and healthier Physics undergraduate.

Do you regard Sociology as an important science and field? Its offered in University, and even was mandatory when I was pursuing Physics. It does offer very decent insights into society and has produced very brilliant thinkers; Marx, Durkheim, Weber, etc... My Physics path is no longer viable, so I'm switching majors to my other passion. But I'm insecure because a lot of people dismiss Sociology as not a real science. I remember one time, Ben Shapiro said that Sociology was "a completely made up field with some interesting insights". No one dares to call Physics a completely made up field, because Physics is just true and part of reality. Its an objective fact that objects fall at the speed of gravity at 9.8 m/s squared, or at least they on the planet Earth. Here, at the 0:18 minute mark, Ben says that Sociology is not a "particularly expert field". Here's Feynman, call social science a pseudoscience. So, questions: Is sociology a legit field Why is it dismissed as not real?

What should I do with my immediate living situation? Move out of my parents? With what money? Minimum wage money? Should I drop out of college? If so, what do I do in the meantime? How will I explain this to my parents? They only accept me living with them because "at least I'm not doing nothing (going to college) ".

I’m as well incredibly motivated by envy. How is it that the other students are able to pass Calculus I and are able to graduate on time? I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.

@Harsh Bagdia I would be happy to hear your perspective.

What am I supposed to tell my parents? What am I going to do for work and for living? I’m still living with them (parents). Am I going to work a minimum wage job, move out to some crappy apartment, and work on my life purpose in my spare time? Im really in college because I don’t want to let my parents down and we’re already so invested in this.

How to cope with the fact that my less profitable degree is going to take more than four years as I’ve effectively reset my progress.

Another problem I'm facing is frustration. I'm already four years into college. My first setback was being late to deciding my major, which would become Physics. My second setback is that my credit hours didn't transfer from the previous institution. Now I'm going to change majors again? A third setback? Is my degree going to take me eight years? I'm so done with this stupid colleges. It has frustrated and disappointed. I study so hard for these math tests, only to get at best a C, usually F's back. I'm disappointed when the college I wanted to go to didn't accept me. I wanted to go to another University, but instead I go to this one. Now I'm frustrated. I want to pass my examinations, I study for them but I can't remember the material I HAD JUST REVIEWED. This makes me frustrated. I was hoping to graduate on time, now I'm already on my fourth year and switching majors. I want to be done already and I'm so frustrated. What the actual FU*K! I am so angry, and now I have to practically reset my progress by changing majors. I want to get a job and move out of my parents already. Though realistically that's not happening, as how valuable is a Sociology degree, this of course being the main driver behind my suicidality. My friends are already moving out and getting girlfriends/boyfriends. They're moving on with their lives. But me? Frustration is the number one emotion I have so far, the most dominant emotion. I feel as if my life is ramming a square peg in a round hole.

In Sociology class, we were taught how people could be institutionalized. The example used was the Shawshank Redemption, at the end of the movie, one of the characters that was imprisoned for decades at the time, Brooks, hung himself because he was institutionalized at the prison. I feel the same way. Even though I was struggling for as long as I could remember, doing mathematics problems because a teacher told me to do so is pretty much all that I know. If I would work on a Life Purpose that doesn't involve academia, I'm so used to being graded and tested, I don't know how I could start with such a Life Purpose.

I'm really genuinely scared and perplexed about where does my life go from here, I thought Physics was going to be my Life Purpose, now Sociology? I'm not dropping out of college because I and my family are too invested in me getting a degree. But I need to achieve success outside of academia, so concretely what do I do? Should I take classes of a softer major, but in the meantime I could invest in and work on another Life Purpose? Maybe I can teach myself programming and launch an online business, and escape wage slavery that way.

Just an update, I have not gotten rid of my rope. I have classes on the campus on Tuesday, so if I make the decision to end my life, it will probably end up on the UMBC Student News website. https://umbc.edu/news-home/ https://retriever.umbc.edu/

No, that’s University of Maryland at College Park. I go to University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC).

Information Update, I mentioned in the OP that I used a suicide website. On that website, I've been complaining about this problem since October of 2023. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-plan-to-kill-myself-this-weekend-but-im-worried-about-the-pain.150955/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-suicidal-due-to-academic-competition.138142/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-want-to-ctb-because-i-feel-inferior-to-my-peers-do-i-have-a-low-iq.136921/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-really-insecure-about-missing-out-on-the-college-experience.136792/

The feeling of jealousy is so overwhelming for me, I can't seem to handle it and I'm being driven to madness. How is it that my friends are able to attend BEAUTIFUL campuses, that are far more prestigious than I will ever be able to enter. I'm very insecure about how ugly my school's (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) campus is. I mean, JUST LOOK at theres, isn’t it perfect? Pretty campuses, with raging social party scenes and rich social lives, Universities that are much more prestigious and difficult to enter. My friend who attends University of Michigan, I bet you she got more than a thousand on her SAT. She's majoring in Biomedical Engineering, I bet you she was able to pass Calculus I with a C or higher. I bet you she's also going to graduate on time, and when she does, immediately enter a high-paying job thanks to her internships. MEANWHILE I'm going to graduate late with a Sociology degree that I don't know what to do with career wise. People around me where genuinely surprised that I was at my age and still taking Calculus I. I'm behind and inferior to people who not only attend fancy colleges, but people who attend my college.

Is watching the radical open mindedness video a good fit for what I'm dealing with right now?

But is Sociology a genuine science?

Are you suggesting that I drop out of college? I'm 22 years old living with my parents, and I need some trajectory with my life. If I quit academia, which I can only assume means drop out, will I be just living with my parents teaching myself to code and working some minimum wage job? "Don't worry Mom, I might not be in school, but I'm working on my Life Purpose! I'll be successful in no time". Without a college degree, how will I get a job? Maybe I can teach myself skillz while getting a B.A. in Sociology.

@Leo Gura My former major was in Physics, not Engineering. BTW I was able to get a B in Physics I, its Calculus and Mathematics I have a problem with. But I feel as if only I had done [blank] I would have passed. I can't seem to do the bare minimum to succeed. I don't pay attention in class, and I use ChatGPT to study, which turned out to be a mistake. If I had visited the professor's Office hours, and the supplemental instruction centers, during the summer session, then I would not be in this situation.

Yeah, but you were probably able to pass the classes, even if you realized engineering was not right for you. My issues is that I'm not even able to pass CALCULUS ONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Why am I so below average? Less than a thousand SAT score, 2.6 community college G.P.A., and now that I've failed so many courses, my University G.P.A. is currently 1.7. Why is this happening to me of all people? In retro spect, I could've passed Calculus One on my third attempt during the summer session if I had gone to the professors office hours. Why didn't I do that? I was well aware that this was my last shot! What was I thinking?

If I could change my username, I would have my handle be: Husseinisindeepsuffering or Husseinisaloser

Does anyone else watch Geno Samuel's documentary series?