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Everything posted by Husseinisdoingfine
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100% disagree, depends on the student. When I was very good at mathematics, I would only learn from doing the problems interactively with a tutor. Mathematics is interactive, not visual. You will never learn mathematics from a YouTube video.
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Husseinisdoingfine replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Here's my results: https://imgur.com/a/Gw1hyVn.png It put me as agreeing with Donald Trump at 31%. My full results: https://www.isidewith.com/profile/5270780798/ballot -
Leaving my original Life Purpose (LP) feels like cutting off a limb, or killing my former self, and I don't know how to cope. Read the above post for context. I can't seem to accept that hard academia and mathematics are not for me. I had so many fantasies about where I was going to go with this career. What new exciting places were going to employ me, how much smarter I was going to be compared to my peers, and so on and so forth. But now my mind is refusing to accept what just happened. I've stopped going to class, and in the three non-STEM classes I do have, I'm failing because I have not cracked open the textbook, turned in a single assignment, or read the syllabus. I feel as if my whole academic career and all of my efforts have collapsed, and I don't know what to do. I have a vague idea of a life purpose now, but its not the same. The reason for why I was attracted to physics was because I had a concern for truth, and I wanted to make my life about understanding reality. I thought of a life that was concerned with profit, and money was vague and shallow. If I choose another life purpose, is that vague and shallowness pursuit for profit and survival going to be my life? Even if I choose something more grounded and realistic that I could do, like sociology, is that going to be my life? Have you not seen Earth from space? All of human affairs, all of Sociology, is just a tiny spect within the infinite cosmos, and I'm going to dedicate my life to studying that? How do I accept the failure of a previous life purpose?
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Husseinisdoingfine replied to Schizophonia's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Edit: thank you @Joshe for the help. -
Husseinisdoingfine replied to Schizophonia's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
I did that and this was the result. https://imgur.com/fKKDbeZ And its remaining a link and not embedding! -
Husseinisdoingfine replied to Schizophonia's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
https://politiscales.party/results?ajA9NDgmajE9MzYmdDE9NzYmdDA9MTQmbTE9MjkmbTA9NTcmYjE9MTQmYjA9NzkmcDA9NjAmcDE9MzEmZTA9NDMmZTE9MzgmczE9NSZzMD05MyZjMT0zOCZjMD00OCZmZW1pPTUyJnZlZ2E9NjcmcHJhZz02Nw== I don't know to to convert this into a jpeg image and link it on the forum, please help me. I can't drag and attach files as this forum won't let me. How are you all embedding your images? -
Read the post above for context. In the above video, Leo talks about how the avoidance of truth leads to suffering. How most people, including myself especially, avoid the truth for decades. The result of this is a snowball effect, which creates a tangle of self-deception, fantasy, delusions, which are remedied by dysfunctional coping mechanisms. I listened to this and I immediately thought of myself. How is it that I could be so miserable and ineffective in as a student, all while denying that my defficiencies. Deluding and prevent myself from seeing the truth; that I'm not an academic, I'm not good at academics, and I will never be a hard scientist. The video above, there's one part that really spoke to me. Timestamped at: 46:20 This part struck me like a bullet. Recently I returned to my unhealthy habit of smoking, and chronic internet usage. I deliberately do this to numb emotions I don't like feeling, in this case; guilt and shame. I began smoking a pack a day, which I compulsively do to block any negative emotions and feelings from arising. I'm becoming worse with my internet usage, now staying up on my phone until midnight, because its an effective way to shut my mind down from experiencing negative emotions. Edit: Another timestamp which resonated with me was 48:43
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THANK YOU.
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Massive problem I face. One way I would motivate myself was simply reading my classmates accomplishments, seeing what internships they got, what classes they were able to pass. If I saw someone I knew was doing better than me at more difficult classes, that would be the motive I needed to stop slacking off and get to work.
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@puporing Thanks for your support and help. I do definitely think that the "old school" parenting model that was applied to me was mostly ineffective, as it made me a mental wreck. Obsession over academics and grades has been the bane of my existence since I was a very young child, and it was I was never offered an alternative to succeeding in the world, the focus was always school. I have a lot of healing to do, I had a (suicide) plan, materials, date marked on my calendar. I seriously think Leo saved my life, as I called the crisis hotline and instead of help I was bounced back and forth between different lines, because apparently I didn't call the correct one.
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Husseinisdoingfine posted a topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
This is an amazing video: I'm posting this to remove a binary concept that a lot of New Agers seems to fall victim to, which is that the Abrahamic religions are nonsense that involve prayer and worship with no actual spiritual practice, and the Asians traditions are the only traditions which actually raise your consciousness. But this brings me to an interesting question, what happened to Islam? Why is it that Yoga is not talked about at all in Muslims circles that I'm familiar with within my community, friends, and family? How did Islam go from the Sufi mystic Mansur Al-Hallaj proclaiming, "I am truth", to what I see in the video below? -
This video as well really spoke to me. Paying attention to my grades and being very serious about schooling was a survival strategy I adopted as a young boy. My mother used to be very harsh towards me, and her harshness was always around schooling. I have memories from when I used to attend elementary school of all the times she would shout at me. I vividly remember sitting with her, she was '''''''''''''''''helping''''''''''''''''' me do elementary school math homework. I was struggling to remember the concepts, as I had a sever issue with not paying attention and daydreaming away instead of focusing, so she grabbed the back of my head and slammed it into the math textbook several times. She would yell and curse at me very loudly for any academic failures and poor grades, and so getting good grades was the obsessive way for me to receive love in this situation.
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Amen. Not just university, but education. When in high school, I was diagnosed with depression. I would wake up each day groggy and miserable (most likely due to the compulsive phone usage, which would keep me awake until midnight). I was angry and bitter, and diagnosed with depression. Each day I would arrive and continue school with a scowl across my face, which would give me a headache. I was constantly late, constantly complaining, and yet I refused to accept that academics may not be right for me.
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What country is this? I can definitely empathize with the sex part. I don’t pursue other Middle Eastern women because quite often they’re Muslims.
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I could see the warning signs since high school that Academics and mathematics was not for me. When all the other kids could answer the math and physics tests without studying, I would always have to hire a tutor, and still fail the test. I hired a tutor last semester, and still failed every calculus quiz. I was in denial of this truth, fooling myself that it was the education system's fault. Btw New profile picture, I hope you all enjoy the new face reveal.
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This is a frustrating situation that I'm in, but here we go. So the University I attend is part of the University System of Maryland. This matters because in this system, there is a policy in which a student must not be allowed to repeat a course more than three times. The first time I took Calculus I, I dropped it (counts as first attempt) because there were too many classes on my schedule and I was overwhelmed. The second time, I accidentally missed my final exam and scored and F in the class. The third time just happened, and I scored a D. It was a reduced 6-week summer session. I should have visited the office hours of the professor, as well as the supplemental instruction, but didn't because I thought my knowledge from the previous attempt would transfer over. I needed at least a C grade in order to qualify for Calculus II and Physics II. I earned a B in Physics I, but because my grade in Calculus I is a D, I no longer am eligible to earn a Physics degree at this University as I have failed to earn the requirement. I filled out a petition requesting that my major be changed to Sociology, for which I'm very unhappy about. Sociology is not a profitable degree, its practically on the same tier as Gender studies. I chose it because its my other passion, part from Physics. Because Sociology is not a degree which can earn me a good job out of college, I feel very hopeless and distressed. I also feel very inferior, how was I not able to pass Calculus I for fucks sake, what is wrong with me. That's a freshman throwaway class! I don't understand this about myself, but anything that involved Calculations, I simply cannot do. I remember I had to do take a mandatory Computer Science class, for which I scored a D in. We had to solve binary problems, converting 1's and 0's into numbers, and vice versa. I rehearsed this numerous times the day before, but on the day of the test I simply looked looked at the paper and I couldn't remember what I had just rehearsed the day before at all. On my second attempt of Calculus I, I had failed every single weekly quiz, how does that happen? Not one quiz did I score an A grade on. Even in my mandatory chemistry class, I scored a D because the highest grade I got on any exam was a C, despite going to office hours and studying for each test two weeks in advance. Because in chemistry, there are calculations required to balance the different electrons and such. On my final exam day, I just walked out the room with half the test blank because I looked at the page, and I couldn't remember anything! I had studied, studied a lot, but the individual calculations I couldn't remember, despite practicing the week before. My original plan to ensure my survival of working for SpaceEx or something like that just flew out the window, and the only forceable solution for my situation is suicide. Even if I do complete this degree in Sociology, what am I supposed to do with it? I have already bought a rope, for which I have tied into a slipknot, and saved into my backpack. I printed out a note, explaining my justifications and reasonings. I as well have a location and a plan. I will simply go to the stairwell of the on campus apartments, and hang myself from the metal beams comprising the staircase railings. The advice on how to hang myself comes from this website: *Edit: link deleted, but it was a suicide website which provided explicit instructions on how to commit suicide* Edit | tldr: My university has a policy preventing students from re-taking a course more than three times. I failed to pass calculus I with a grade of C or better on my third attempt, meaning I'm ineligible for a Physics degree as Calculus I is mandatory. I switched my major to my other passion, Sociology, but Sociology is not a profitable major. With my career plans in the toilet, I have decided that my only option is suicide.
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Husseinisdoingfine replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Intellectual Stuff: Philosophy, Science, Technology
I live in Maryland. -
Update: Ever since I've changed major's my life has been on a downwards spiral for which I see no hope recovering from. I eat incredibly unhealthy, now frequenting McDonald's almost every day. I have gone from quitting smoking, to yesterday smoking my first full pack of cigarettes, all in one day. I'm enrolled in now easier social science classes, but I skip just about every lecture as I'm too depressed. My grades are tanking because I don't do any of the work. I'm in a state of ever growing hopelessness and a feeling of constant lethargy, that I don't see a way out of. I've stopped sleeping, I don't eat healthily, I've as well stopped meditating and working out. What's the point? I did those things to become a stronger and healthier Physics undergraduate.
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Do you regard Sociology as an important science and field? Its offered in University, and even was mandatory when I was pursuing Physics. It does offer very decent insights into society and has produced very brilliant thinkers; Marx, Durkheim, Weber, etc... My Physics path is no longer viable, so I'm switching majors to my other passion. But I'm insecure because a lot of people dismiss Sociology as not a real science. I remember one time, Ben Shapiro said that Sociology was "a completely made up field with some interesting insights". No one dares to call Physics a completely made up field, because Physics is just true and part of reality. Its an objective fact that objects fall at the speed of gravity at 9.8 m/s squared, or at least they on the planet Earth. Here, at the 0:18 minute mark, Ben says that Sociology is not a "particularly expert field". Here's Feynman, call social science a pseudoscience. So, questions: Is sociology a legit field Why is it dismissed as not real?
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What should I do with my immediate living situation? Move out of my parents? With what money? Minimum wage money? Should I drop out of college? If so, what do I do in the meantime? How will I explain this to my parents? They only accept me living with them because "at least I'm not doing nothing (going to college) ".
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I’m as well incredibly motivated by envy. How is it that the other students are able to pass Calculus I and are able to graduate on time? I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.
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@Harsh Bagdia I would be happy to hear your perspective.
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What am I supposed to tell my parents? What am I going to do for work and for living? I’m still living with them (parents). Am I going to work a minimum wage job, move out to some crappy apartment, and work on my life purpose in my spare time? Im really in college because I don’t want to let my parents down and we’re already so invested in this.
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How to cope with the fact that my less profitable degree is going to take more than four years as I’ve effectively reset my progress.