OpalChai

I had a conversation with a new acquaintance of mine about some peculiar dreams I've been having. They asked if I new my spirit/power animal. I have never thought to try and find it. I was brought up in a traditional Christian setting, church, bible study, the works. I have had confusing spiritual encounters all of my life and no one to ask or answer my questions. So I have just observed most of these experiences curiously. To find my spirit animal I have been exploring shamanic journeying. So far I have had no success. I keep getting weird results that I don't see others having a problem with when I do research. When journeying to the lower world I definitely see (for lack of a better word) entities but no animals approach me. In the first attempt I emerged from a cave on a rocky hillside. My view was just above an unending forest. There were birds and I could see motion in the trees, but I couldn't make out what animals were there. I started to feel pressure on the back of my neck like someone was staring at me. If this was my animal I don't want to scare it away. It is hard for me to explain but it felt stronger than an animal presence. I used my peripheral vision to see what it was without being obvious. Against the rock wall next to the cave opening I could see a satyr or a faun, I am not sure. It seemed like he clenched himself against the rocks to hide from me. He had a surprised look on his face. I was terrified and began thinking, Is he evil? Is he hiding so he can escape? HE IS GOING TO GET ME! Then I pulled myself out of the trance. I am proud of myself because most times in these situations I scream and call on the lord. I am sure I gasped a bit, maybe my eyes grew wide. The point is I did not freak out. The second time I was by a pond in the forest. I saw plenty of animals all around me fox, owls, fish,etc. None of them wanted anything to do with me. Some looked in my direction. Some sniffed and went away. I got tired of looking around and waiting so I left. Third time there was a river flowing through the woods to a waterfall and clear open sky. There were creatures around buzzing with activity, and ignoring me. I glided above the river following the current out over the waterfall and began to fly. I looked around quickly hoping to see a bird of some sort. (I was crossing my fingers for an owl.) The wings were a texture I couldn't identify. There were no feathers! So I shrieked and fled the scene. Disappointed with myself I waited until the next month to try again. This time I thought what if I burrow under the ground instead of a cave. When I started to crawl through the ground to the other side I heard a stampede approaching. It either felt like or I heard someone whisper "giants don't move". I looked out through the trees and saw large shadows. The tree tops were missing clumps of leaves in a straight path leading to the giant figures. I had a thought about "Jack and the beanstalk " then left abruptly. Is that normal? Just to make sure I had the process right I tested it on my husband. He found his power animal. He saw visions and learned some things about his great grandfather. We also confronted a major phobia (we did not fix it though). If I did everything properly why didn't it work for me I wonder. I was hoping someone here would be familiar with finding spirit animals or journeying. Maybe something you percieved about what happened to me. Even sharing your own experience is welcomed. I am looking forward to seeing other perspectives on these matters. I can only hear my own thoughts questioning my sanity.

@mandyjw You make a very good point. I need to figure out how to build a connection. I am just use to hearing these romantic experiences like someone is greeted by a coven of lions. From that day forth they build this relationship and draw strength from their lion power animal. Then I think to myself are the random animals a message that I lack focus. I don't even know where Mr. Tumnus came from. (Just kidding) Have you ever meditated on an animal? If so were they responsive or symbolic?

@seeking_brilliance I agree. Self guided frustrates me because when I attempt to "call" my guides no one reveals themselves. They show up whenever they want to. I don't mind the timing so much but I find that I usually do not know who they are or what they are talking about. Sometimes they don't have many human features and I get scared. Only two have tried to communicate with me again. Either they don't want to give me a heart attack or I seem pretty stupid. @Dumuzzi Have you ever known a guide to give up on one of us? Just curious.

@Dumuzzi If your pain was given to you on purpose why were you healed? Was there a lesson you were suppose to learn through suffering? If so what do you think it is?