rav

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Everything posted by rav

  1. There's nothing holding you back. Why work hard? Because others tell you to do so? Because you yourself tell yourself to do so? Imagine human beings 100.000 years ago: You got your group and females/males together, got enough to eat and an appropriate shelter. Why working hard?
  2. That's judgements of the ego. Just speak. Without any nouns. And so I speak. Because I do.
  3. Why bother evaluating behaviours into categories like good or bad? Aren't they just behaviours? As soon as you judge, you're back into devilry.
  4. Emotions are not true after all, so why bother comparing them?
  5. Your doubts stem from a simple reason: When you're on shrooms, your consciousness is extremely elevated. When you're not on shrooms, it's not. So afterwards you'll doubt everything you've seen while cranked up to 11.
  6. I can try, but notice: Words (language) is the reason why you're suffering in the first place. Anyways. In general: Just meditate or do psychedelics long enough in order to access a state of consciousness in which you feel some kind of energy running from your testicles (ovaries) up through your heart into your head. Be clean for that. No nicotine, no alcohol, no ordinary drugs, no caffeine, no sugar, no wheat, no meat, no dairy, no pmo (porn, masturbation, orgasm), no medication. All of these disrupt the flow of consciousness through your "body". I know it's hard. You know it's hard. Why is it hard? Because you want to distract yourself from realizing yourself. When you managed to put yourself into that state of flowing energy, concentrate on your upper head (seventh chakra, if you're into that sort of stuff). What does "concentrate" mean? Put your attention on the "whirl" in your upper head and just observe it. Watch it, note it, feel it. Doing this long enough, it will "open" up your head and release all that stored energy into somewhere (I don't know yet where it goes; to God, I guess, so to me, to you, to us). You will feel like a movie-goer. Sit somewhere in the audience and watch the happening. It happens anyway. In detail: The stream is like a puppet string coming from the center of the earth, grabbing you by the nuts (vag), telling you to immediately stop what you're doing. Remember when your parents told you to stop what you're doing? When they told you to stop masturbating, to stop smoking, to stop watching horror movies, to stop throwing your life away, to stop procrastinating, to stop having sweets, to stop lying, to stop staying up late, to stop playing video games, to stop watching porn, to stop having beer? Not to recite Freud, but: Your parents are a part of your suffering. Because they told you to be a certain way. And you'll NEVER forget that. So, if in any way possible, DON'T listen to your parents. Don't listen to what the stream is telling you. The stream shows you what you are. And you listen blindly. See? It's your memory of what you are supposed to be from your parent's world view. Say no to your parents when you've come this far. Say no. Your parents know nothing. You know everything. Because you are your parents. Look at the stream and put it into perspective. It tells you to be like your parents. Why? Just ask why. There is no parents. Because when you observe the stream, you'll realize that it is some force outside of you pulling your strings. But what now? How can you observe something that is you? Ask yourself: How can I be aware of something that is me? And you will notice: You're a puppet pulling your own strings. And you will notice: There is no parents. I am sorry if this sounds crazy to you, but there is no better way for me right now to address you verbally. Because we are one.
  7. It's self-explanatory! Oh my God! It's self-explanatory! I love you all! That's self-explanatory! As you all know! Didn't consume any psychedelics or stuff, just was meditating (for about 13 hours). It's self-explanatory!!!!!!! Love you all! You're the best!!!!!!
  8. There's more. Incredibly, there's more. There's always more. I've been meditating today. For a long time. Now there's a stream running through me. It comes from the center of the earth straight up through my every being. It is my past memories. All those positive situations I've lived through maybe 20 years ago. Emotions, memories, experiences and all that stuff. It's calling me: "Hey, dude, don't you wanna be again like you've been 20 years ago? Full of life and motivation and positivity and stuff?" No. There is no "want" anymore, sorry. What if I want? I strive towards something and wanna "grab" it in an external "world" that doesn't exist. It's just a stream. I observe it. Closely. There's little splinters in the stream coming from "outside" (I don't yet know what that is) and redirecting themselves slowly into the stream, forming it, shaping it. There's my story, laid out before me. I always thought I make up this story by myself, but it is laid out before me and I follow it. I got tears in my eyes and I don't know why. So I ask: "Why?". And there comes the fear. It grabs me by the nuts and heart and tells me to stop and come back. But I don't come back. So my heart races. Like it would explode the next second. But it doesn't. That's just a story my heart has made up. Fear changes the path of the stream. It turns positive memories into dark ones. Tells me to come back, like a mother who has lost her child. But I am no child, I am no mother, I am no employee, I am no addict, I am no gamer, I am no doer, I am no receiver. Still, I got tears in my eyes. When you watch a movie that has the power to suck you in, you believe for a short time that you are in that movie. When you are unaware of the stream, you are in a movie for your whole life. Stop watching the movie.
  9. Sure. I sit down, close my eyes and simply don't do anything until the alarm on my phone takes me back to ordinary consciousness. See, there is a problem here, let me try to explain: When you grow up and learn things, how do you learn these things? Most of the time, via language. Your parents and people near to you tell you how to label things, actions, behaviors, situations, etc. Seldom, you learn things by direct experience, for example when you touch something hot and feel a certain sensation afterwards in let's say your hands. But even then, people around you teach you via language what that sensation is called, how to avoid "pain" (<--the word they've taught you) in the future, etc. Have you noticed, that all thinking is language and the other way round? Yes? Ok, so what are we doing here right now in this forum? Conversing via language. True that, right? But then, we are telling each other not to think when meditating. True? So now you come along and ask for advice concerning your meditation practice. All good, nothing wrong with that for sure. Can you guess the problem? Look: What you expect, what you want out of your meditation practice, that's within language, right? You said it yourself: What you are doing here is as follows: You have a concept of how meditation should go and now you ask how to realize your particular concept. There is no concept. Because concepts, what are those? Language. Thinking. As long as you think you're meditating, you don't meditate, alright? Can you see your conundrum? Let me try to paraphrase: Let's say, there is an "enlightened" master. You go and meet him, let's say in Tibet, and he sits down with you in order to talk. He is aware of consciousness beyond language/thinking. So you ask: Master, what do I have to do in order to reach your state of "enlightenment"? Ok, what happens now? The instance, this master is going to give you an answer to your question, his experience is translated into language, then transported into your mind and adapted by your mind to form some kind of idea. See, what happens here? The experience of this master is bogged down and forced into language. So is there any of the original experience left after this process of translation? Any? So when you fly home from Tibet, you carry this idea with you and later on you try to realize it by meditating. And then you get stuck. Why? Because you're trying to enforce an idea (which is language/thinking) by using a practice that is not capable of progress (also language/thinking). And what am I doing right here, right now? I am trying to convey something outside of language to you via language. You see this can't work? Contemplate this. And then, the best thing I can say here is: When you sit down to meditate, tell yourself "there is no progress, there is no good or bad meditation session, there is no language in meditation". It's a hard pill to swallow, but the only way to directly experience consciousness outside of language is to meditate every day, observing your mind's chatter rather than thinking yourself, be patient and don't judge your meditation sessions afterwards. There is no quality to meditation. Meditation just is what it is. So you were specifically asking how to expand your sphere of awareness during meditation. You can't. Because expanding is doing and the idea behind this action is language. All of the possible "meditation states" are already there. You can't practise to "reach" them. You can only access them. And you will. IF you stop thinking, speaking, having expectations, having ideas or doing something. I'm sorry to tell you again: Just be. Everything else will come to you by itself.
  10. There is no progress. When I started meditation, I was in the same mind set you are right now. I was thinking like: "Man, if I meditate, my life's gonna get better, I'll get superpowers and everything will fall into place". BUT There is no BUT. See, there is a common "mistake", people commit when committing to meditation. So, you're coming from self-improvement. That means, you're willing to change your life to the better and improve yourself. But what is that? That's a notion of your self to change the trajectory of your life. Meaning: You still want something. You want to improve, adapt, turn around. But wanting something is thinking. And what does meditation tell you? Not to think. So when you're practicing meditation in order to progress, you're not meditating. When you stop thinking, you cannot want anything, thus you cannot progress any further. So stop progressing. Stop wanting. Just meditate, be in the moment and stop expecting something. When you stop expecting anything, you lose the notion of progress. And then you can be. Just be.
  11. Funny story: When I was at work today and my superiors and coworkers once again told me to do this or that because "money" and "we gotta satisfy our customers" and yada yada yada... I was thinking (and not thinking at the same time) like: Ok, what's with these monkeys again, hopping around all riled up and full of stress and worry? On the outside I just kept calm and nodded, but on the inside I (someone?) said things like "there's no I in I" and "there's no them in them" and so forth. Interesting work day for sure. AND! In the past I was always against capitalism and had lots and lots of complaints about it. But today, again thrown into pure capitalism (I'm working at a blue-orange company), I saw that it has to be this way. Those people working with me for our company, they actually like what they're doing every day. That's their thing, they actually want to experience stress and long hours and pissed of superiors. That's what they know and that's what they expect when they wake up every morning. So I absolutely cannot complain about capitalism anymore. Capitalism has to be. Otherwise all those people I'm working with, they would be lost, stranded, and didn't know what to do. Cheers!
  12. Paradise is no worry, no depression, no want, no strive, no nothing, just love! Love you all!
  13. Meditation works. Nothing against psychedelics at all. They're great, too. BUT! Hear (read) me out: With meditation, you put in your own work so to say. With psychedelics, you rely on their force to take you to where you want to be. And what is more satisfying? Walking or taking the train? Love you all!
  14. Quick intermission: Those black holes scientists are talking about, they're just the explanation for why there is "something" at all. You "came" from a black hole and still are it. Black holes and everything else are just the same! When you enter buddhist "no self" or "no mind" - that's equivalent to such a black hole! You are a black hole, and everything else at the same time! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! We are black holes and not!!! Love you all!
  15. Hi, I'm Matt, 38. I've started changing my life about 9 months ago. Started "do nothing, just observe" meditation for at least 90 minutes per day, changed diet and lost like 25 kilograms already, stopped video games and TV and social media and procrastination in general, stopped PMO, installed MindLab Pro and Armodafinil. Now I'm stuck. Weight is constant, during meditation I always "reach" the same state of mind (which is like wide, a bit unstable, bubbly, pulsating, calm), same job as before (production, manual construction of heating tubes), always tired, always demotivated, no impulse to socialize. Basically atm I'm only working - meditating - reading - sleeping, rinse and repeat. Any advise? I don't know how to proceed. Thank you.
  16. On double speed it would definitely help my self to laugh its a** off. ;D
  17. Calculate your expenses per year. All of them, even the little stuff like a drink here or a seminar there. Take that number and multiply it by the years you have left until the age of 100 (or whatever age you wanna reach). Then double it for unforeseen expenses in the future and now you roughly know how much you'll need.
  18. Well, one way to do it would be: Watch Leo's series about spiral dynamics, then further study the subject via books or whatever. Once fully understood, assess for yourself at which stages you're currently at. Then invest time and effort to move yourself up along the stages until all aspects of your person and psyche have reached turquoise.
  19. No. No way. I personally believe the Truth feels amazing, unbelievable, indescribable. What I wanted to express: This feeling of anxiety around my heart is still there when I think about work and I am still under the impression that this feeling is (insert appropriate adjective here). Man, I'm confused. Today and yesterday I followed your lead and did 90 minutes of what you call "meditation to the middle" and what shall I say? It's a completely different beast to what I did before. When I breathe and deeply feel into my stomach area, there's a whole lot of emotions coming up, some intensely negative, some vaguely positive, and I totally forget to be aware of my face and limbs - it is as if they weren't there. And now, when I consciously think about work tomorrow and consciously feel into my anxiety it still feels true, but also somehow not, and I honestly got no effing clue what's going on right now. Anyways, I asked for a nudge into a different direction and you somehow did that without me knowing how you did that and right now I'm just grateful that I've opened this thread. Now I got new ideas, new directions, new techniques and new leads. Thank you, Nahm and everybody else for your suggestions and help!
  20. Sadly, it still feels genuine and true even though I intellectually know it's untrue. I will continue to meditate and improve myself until I fully realize the story I'm telling myself.
  21. Intellectually, yes. But it still feels that way. Ok. I've always used him as a pole in order to repel myself. Alright. I will continue to contemplate what I really want. Thanks for your input.
  22. Becoming a person opposite to my dad. Meaning: a loving, kind-hearted person who is not constantly complaining and who is not permanently measuring the world in terms of money. And who doesn't set up secret contracts in interpersonal relationships measuring said relationships on a basis of "what has he/she done for me / what can he/she do for me". I do? I definitely can't recall any traumatic experiences in my life so far. But thank you anyways for your suggestion. I will look into it. It's a feeling of heaviness around my heart area, a change in frequency of my heartbeat and a slight pounding sensation in my ears.
  23. Ok, I will. Thank you very much. I wasn't aware there even were meds that influence dopamine. So far I've only heard about serotonin and noradrenaline. Because I know I have to go there again the next day.
  24. My job neither satisfies nor challenges me. I do it for the money. Yeah, that's a problem. I see. Atm I don't have the courage to quit, yet. Catch 22: When I'm tired and anxious after work and think about quitting and working somewhere else, I project my current anxiety into the future and think things like "I will never find another job and run out of money". Gotta figure out how to break that cycle. Because when I am free of depression and anxiety on weekends or holidays, I definitely know that I would easily find a better job or start a business. But I still lack the courage to do so. Yeah, pretty much. Helping people who suffer any disability to lead a life that makes them happy. Right. I know what you're talking about intellectually, but I have not yet had any insight or awakening experience to that matter. My ego is still firmly rooted in materialism and identifying with external things, pain and pleasure and the like. How do I do that? Atm during meditation I observe the pulsating impermanence of sensations, like the visual flickering or the auditory switching between loud and quiet (due to one of those books on Leo's list). Additionally, I sometimes "shoot aliens" - meaning I label sensations as fast as I can. I have not yet discovered who or what is actually aware of sensations. Maybe I should try Neti Neti? So you're saying I can just switch the story I'm telling myself around? Is it that simple? Granted, language is one concept I use in order to label the world around me and inside me. And I've long suspected that language is the most powerful tool to achieve/change/influence anyone or anything. But won't the ego defend itself against my simply altering its story? Will it not see through that? Anyways, I will try to just tell a different story to myself. Actually, I am very grateful for you sharing this. Thank you!
  25. I've been to one about a year ago. They put me into a hospital for 2 weeks, gave me SSRI (Citalopram) and DBT. I was motivated to work with this and wanted to get better but somehow it didn't work. So I guess I will look for a good psychologist, then. Cuz SSRI don't do it for me.