Spiral Wizard

PS.: a few words on practical limitations: How effective a meditation retreat is, can vary incredibly. As mentioned, I’ve been to powerful Vipassana & Darkroom retreats but they usually didn’t have a lasting effect whereas I recently did a 1-on-1 retreat with a guide who I talked to every day for 1-3 hours and it CHANGED MY LIFE! It was the first retreat that actually has had lasting changes (now, months later things are still effortlessly deepening in certain regards). Main reason is because he carefully dismantled so many of my sticking points. I would say receiving long term 1-on-1 guidance from an enlightened guide was A WHOLE NEW GAME/chapter in my spiritual journey. It’s categorically different. I cannot emphasize enough how much more effective it can be compared to everything else like reading books and going to group retreats. The following is practically impossible without a guide who reflects your blind spots to you and ‘holds your feet to the fire’ because that is a feature of the ego (ignorance and unwillingness): I will still say it here so you may know it’s possible eventually: If you are willing to relax into the pain of your inability to create that a desired state and the pain of being separated from any desired state you will be liberated into a higher truth/consciousness. Pain is what unifies and collapses polarities, freeing up energy, lifting oneself effortlessly into a higher perspective / clarity. Pain processing is passing through the eye of the needle 👁️

https://www.actualized.org/insights/wrong-state I agree with a lot of what Leo says here. And I probably would have come to the exact same conclusions after my Vipassana, darkroom retreat and psychedelic experiences because they were so powerful! But, I’ve had wise guides who stirred me back to center. They were able to help me pull myself out of IMPOSSIBLE CONFUSIONS which I would have remained stuck in without their guidance. So let me share the bottom line of what my conclusions have evolved into: It may be next to impossible to actually have deep insight & emotionally liberating experiance unless & until you’ve been to an intense meditation retreat or took psychedelics. These things are DOOR/EYE OPENERS! Absolutely incredible and super helpful (potentially life changing). Realistically, yes! We are dependent on retreats & tools like psychedelics for a good chunk of our journey. However, don’t get stuck there and always see/inquire into how you may be able to become independent of any tools. Otherwise, they become crutches. Powerful tools have great potential for delusion & false conclusion. The counter intuitive thing is that the mind makes wrong associations. Meaning, if something produces a result it thinks that thing caused the result but that is not actually true, especially in this context. The more aware you become the clearer it will be that taking a walk, or breathwork, or meditation, or even psychedelics is not what’s relaxing, insightful, or transforming in and of themselves but it’s something YOU ‘DO’ or stop doing which actually determines all internal states. You are all powerful, you just somehow directed your own power against yourself creating conflicting forces. The long term solution is not to force states but to release what is blocking them from being available naturally without any effort or condition (conditions are tools like psychedelics or meditation, etc. ). Meditation retreats, psychedelics, breathwork, etc. seem to get the result (create the consciousness, insight, energy, etc.) BUT they actually just make it EASIER while the opportunity is fundamentally equal in every moment. Nothing is needed to change your state. Except your willingness to become aware of what’s LIMITING it (which is usually some sort of resistance to pain/discomfort/reality!). What makes all the difference in meditation has to do with honesty, surrender, willingness, and relaxation. This is what makes meditation retreats & psychedelics work. And funnily enough, the thing that makes it work is always possible! Meditation retreats and psychedelics just increase the energy and remove distractions which makes it exponentially EASIER. However, growth happens with progressive overload. So easy is great but if you don’t slowly learn to become equally conscious and energetic in normal life as it and even in low states without crutches like meditation, techniques, psychedelics, breathwork, etc. you will be stuck and not get to the highest levels of spirituality where Real Love & fundamental awareness rules unconditionally in any state. Relaxation and meeting the whole of the present moment with all of its pain/discomfort (like wanting it to be in a different state) is what allows you to become aware of the limiting factors and conflicts (pain) within. At the beginning crutches are incredibly helpful - making it SEEM like they are needed or it’s practically impossible without BUT with great guidance / reflection from someone who has walked the path - it is possible to come to a level of maturity, re-centering humility, recognition, insight, and willingness to see that it’s ALWAYS POSSIBLE. It must be that way and it cannot be any other way because you are the source of all things and states. This is not an assumption or philosophy, it’s possible to become conscious of this truth. This is it, in a nutshell (see all buttons not just as gross dependencies like socializing, drugs, etc. but also subtle addictions and dependencies like breathwork, psychedelics, music, thinking AND EVEN - EVENTUALLY - MEDITATION ITSELF! That is the last leap into freedom, transcending even the usefulness of spirituality): I’ll attach a few more words on practical limitations of this radical path as the first comment in this thread below:

It’s like the famous ‘how to get a witch girlfriend’ video. Hope dies last and at last it did come out…

@Leo Gura if you don’t come out we will eventually come in and get you 👀👀

@Leo Gura regarding your post on 3 flaws of conservative thinking: "Leftists regard mankind as cute puppy when it is more like a demonic rhinoceros." This is gold. A suprisingly sobering view & funny as hell as well!

MAYA, ILLUSION, DECEPTION, VOILENCE, CHAOS, SUFFERING, ETC. are both misunderstood/misperceived and the result of that misunderstanding/resistance. When resistance is dropped, and grace grants us vision into the pure Divinity of Her, ALL THAT CHAOS GETS RECONTEXTUALIZED INTO WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS: THE DIVINE FEMININE/Shakti's fierce love offering, Shakti's fierce dance with us. Literal Consciousness made Manifest in Divine Orchestration. It's RAW, and in a way, SEXY in the purest essence of the word because it is challenging/teasing Him, the Divine Masculine, our Consciousness to See through the apparent illusion of chaos/bad/evil. When we are unconscious, She swallows us alive. As soon as we step up and MATCH 'HER' ENERGY WITH EQUAL CONSCIOUSNESS, we not only recognize Her beauty in the greatest mess/chaos but She also IMMEDIATELY 'CALMS DOWN' in our presence and becomes like a devoted cat, caressing our leg. Now to make this real let me share this: last year, I first saw: Police Cam Videos. A glimpse into chaos, violence, and real human conflict. Before I knew it, hours had passed, my nervous system was lit up like a battlefield, my mind wired on adrenaline, hands completely sweaty, and my body locked in a state of subtle or not so subtle tension. I had sworn off these videos, promising myself to never watch them again. But a few weeks ago, I got sucked into the police cam thread here on this forum and binge watched those videos all night. This time around, however, I had a surprisingly different experience - both while watching, and the insights/conclusion afterward. A much more divine one, in fact. Now before I share that, let me quickly share the dynamics that cause us to lose consciousness and get sucked into self-harming behavior. The Ultimate Test of Your Consciousness: Addiction & Adrenalin It feels as though we are pulled toward these things—toward violent videos, towards drama, towards endless stimulation. But this is a misperception/deception & trick of our mind. It it less true that the world is pulling us outward. It is more true that we are consciously or subconsciously distracting/pushing ourselves outward, away from something within. And this is not just about police cam videos—it applies to everything that overstimulates us. The endless consumption sometimes disguised as ‘learning’ but actually keeping us in a cortisol fueled, ever so slightly stressed state where we never encounter all of our suppressed subconscious material, which on the flip side prevents us from accessing the intelligence of our subconscious & superconscious mind. The Ultimate Love Making: When Presence Meets 'Chaos' So after a couple of months of emotional processing and various awakening practices like recognizing awareness & energetic transmissions, I ended up back in the rabbit hole of police cam video. However, this time there was a Revelation Within Violence. I let go of resistance. I stopped trying to suppress my own addictive tendencies. Instead, I watched with full awareness. I stayed present, grounded. And with that, instead of recoiling, instead of judging, I 'stepped up' into my presence, seeing through all my own reactions and the reactions of the people on screen, by recognizing what is actually happening: Divinity. Sheer Shakti. The sheer aliveness of the world. The same aliveness that moves through the orgasmic peaks of intimacy, through the ecstatic bliss of a dancer lost in motion, through the rush of a waterfall thundering down a mountain—this very same force was there, in the flashing lights, in the screams, in the collisions of bodies and fate. There was no difference. For the first time, I actually saw or intuitively sensed that this world—this chaotic, unpredictable, sometimes brutal world—is the dance of Shakti - a true transformative/transfiguring lovemaking. It's a little bit like David Deida describes in his book The Way Of The Superior Man, most fundamentally applied. I now realize, is a much greater and more beautiful challenge than I thought. I massively underestimated the RAW POEWR of HER. I am humbled and also ravenously challenged, invigorated, and willing to step up to the challenge. It requires Shiva’s unwavering presence to meet Her? Meet all emotions, all turmoil, within and without. Do you recognize her through all forms or do her disguises, illusions, and Maya, deceive you, trick you, lure you in, falter in integrity, and retreat as a whimsical presence. The world is not our enemy. It is our lover. Even in the darkest moments of human nature, there is an unspeakable beauty. Perfect in and of itself and simultaneously conspiring to help us awaken & heal. It is the very annihilating pain that is necessary for change. No challenge, no growth. No pain, no growth. Don't micro-traumatize yourself: That being said, I humbly recognize where my body, subconscious, and heart are on the stages below (meme) and meet myself as I am accordingly. This means as long as we cannot instinctively, immediately, and naturally see only divinity, it is much more wise to NOT watch Police Cam videos. They will create micro-traumas. I had to meditate for the entire next two days to purge all the subconscious imagery. If we don't notice this, it is because we are so overstimulated in a string of distractions that these things never surface and just more stuff gets dumbed on top in an addictive circle seemingly 'pulling' us deeper as we slowly drown, with less and less breathable 'life energy'. We are literally suppressing our innate Shakti. Each of us is actually extremely sensitive, which is a super-power and our natural, organic state. Most of us have long lost touch with that beautiful innocent tenderness. We are addicted to overstimulation because it shields us from feeling the weight of our own unprocessed subconscious material. But there are ways to step out of this unconscious hypnosis: PRACTICAL STEPS: Become ruthlessly aware of your distractions. Notice the impulse. See how the pull is actually a push. See every challenge and discomfort as an invitation to step up into our Presence. In other words: stop resisting, allow, and recognize what is happening. Recognize all sensations that makeup you and your resistance. Then, and only then, all transforms itself. Consider reading the book 'the incredible reality of you' by LUCIALORN and attending his online webcasts. I believe that may have been part of the grace that opened this temporary insight to divinity. Shift from consuming to integrating. If a single sentence or insight strikes you, stop. Let it sink in. Don’t rush to the next thing. Don't over-consume. That is unhelpful at best and gluttony as a subconscious avoidance mechanism, at worst. Confront the discomfort. Whenever you feel the urge to indulge in overstimulation—whether it’s violent videos, doom scrolling, or endlessly seeking information—pause. Feel what is beneath that urge. Pause for a few moments whenever an urge arises and see how you feel inside - what may you be moving away from? Initially, it may just be boredom, numbness, nothing, but see, why not stay with that? Why can't you just simply be (free from all urges to move & free to be, making ever move in pure consciousness)? When we sit with that tension or nothing/boredom, eventually emotions will reveal themselves and through that we rediscover ourselves. Awaking can be an instantaneous recognition & recontextualization. Healing is usually a slow and multi-year-long journey. Healing and un-conditioning our reactions takes some time. It's literally rewiring our brain and slowly growing a new, wholly nervous system. The result of integration and pain processing is real, gut-level, embodied liberation. At its core, this is not about discipline. It is about waking up to the amazing beauty of what already is unfolding in the infinite flows of being, in all of it's expressions. It is about seeing that everything—really everything—is Love. And when we are ready, when we finally stop running, we realize that the world was never a thread. She was only teasing us, inviting us to dance with Her.

It feels as though we are pulled by addiction. But this is a misperception/deception & trick of our mind. It it less true that anything is pulling. It is more true that we are consciously or subconsciously distracting/pushing ourselves outward, away from something within. We are addicted because it shields us from feeling the weight of our own unprocessed subconscious material. But there are ways to step out of this unconscious hypnosis: Practical steps: Do NOT focus on changing your behavior. FOCUS ON THE SENSATIONS THAT MAKE UP THE URGE. Notice the impulse. See how if you pause for a moment and look within, it's actually uncomfortable. Stay with that. Then continue with the behaviors and stay as conscious as possible, allow everything. This will keep your awareness present which slowly makes it fade away instead of going into unconscious addiction which keeps it running. Patience: Initially, it may just be boredom, numbness, nothing, but see, why not stay with that? Why can't you just simply be (free from all urges to move & free to be, making ever move in pure consciousness)? When we sit with that tension or nothing/boredom, eventually emotions will reveal themselves and through that we rediscover ourselves. Again: Recognize ALL sensations that makeup you and your resistance. Then, and only then, all transforms & heals itself.

Reminds me of the scene at 1 min:

This is the man: https://www.thedetoxdudes.com/ He recommends the ZenCleanz. I don't have experience with it, nor did I research it but it's supposed to be very effective.

I healed, here's what I did:

I found this video very informative and the possibilities are inspiring. This sets my creativity ON FIRE! Let's create the New Earth with the help of AI.

I just want to say that after 6 years of learning from & trying to embody your insights, I'm noticing an exponential growth curve. Over the last year, I've started to become conscious of more and more of the things you speak about, mostly without substances. Not at the same depth, but I'm really seeing my entire lifestyle and whole being transform to an almost unrecognizable degree. Thanks to the grace of many guides I've discovered through you - and through friends, I made because of you - my being is flooded with liberating wisdom and exquisite joy. Even though my path has become very different from yours, I honor you and your gifts. Your teachings will affect many more lives through your students and their unique life purpose. There is one thing I would like to mention to you as a fellow friend and seeker: There are guides out there that are incredibly awake, much more awake than 99% of the spiritual gurus that are commonly known. They usually have very little followers or no online presence at all. Most of these I only met through 'fluke luck' or grace because they were recommended by a friend. These guides, especially when worked with directly, can create tremendous transformation because they can transmit their being and reflect back any blind spots that are keeping us stuck in self-deception. All this to say, permanent awakening to pure divinity & absolute infinity is possible. You are possible. Excerpt from the book 'the incredible reality of you' by LUCIALORN

I wonder what correlations we could draw between forum members who have children and those who do not.

In case anyone wants to know how, this is mastery of integration and requires learning to process pain & emotions.

Gold. Gold. Gold. GOLD! I'm starting to think @Leo Gura is a gold digger...

Visit Ashrams. Attend retreats. Go to very different events, like tantra workshops and good mainstream parties if available, connect with a bunch of people, ask if there are community WhatsApp groups. Also talk with people you usually would not talk with. Talk to natives. Go places you would not go to usually. Be curious. Don’t just skip around chasing for the quantity of experiences although that can be a valuable phase as well but actual growth happens in quality and depth. Go to the west of Koh Phangan in Thailand if you want the full digital nomads meets tantra hippies quantity of connections immersion experiance. Go alone into the Himalayas for the introspective, depth experiance. Brainstorm with GPT.

Sure!

I'm in a phase where a simple life of God, family, and farming are becoming really appealing.

Spot on. But this requires learning to process pain. Unfortunately, the vast majority of even spiritual people will never have the fortune of meeting someone who can guide them toward true pain processing, at the depth required to fully liberate all resistances.

Wisdom lies in recognizing that the highest realization is not about choosing solitude over socialization or vice versa—it is about being free in both. A fully integrated being can sit in deep solitude, blissfully immersed in God, and can also engage in lighthearted conversation without feeling it is "less than." There is no need to diminish either experience. If socialization feels shallow, it may be because it is being approached with resistance, judgment, or the mind’s desire for something “higher.” But a master can see the divine in every interaction, no matter how simple. The deepest realization does not reject the world; it sees through it and loves it anyway. Rather than arguing over which perspective is “superior,” the real inquiry is: Are we free? Are we free to be alone without loneliness? Are we free to be with others without resistance? Are we able to see that everything—solitude, socializing, silence, words—can be a doorway to Truth when approached with an open heart?

There are stages to this and the journey goes full circle or keeps spiraling into higher and higher levels of transcendence and integration. Monks & teenagers as @Leo Gura described them may be at a certain stage but it continues so don't get stuck and put one state of being onto a pedestal. My theory (informed by my experience and the experience of the most awakened guys I know) is this: Freedom is the movement of transcendence (up & out) & Love is the movement of descendence (inward, integrating, inclusive, whole) When we have built external abundance—through friendships, meaningful relationships, and fulfilling life experiences—there's a stage at which we start to realize that a deeper form of nourishment does not come from others but from ourselves & Self. This is where a shift happens: instead of looking outward for love, wisdom, validation, or support, we turn inward. We learn to fully meet our own needs, nurture ourselves with love and wisdom, and connect to the source of all abundance—our own being. This source is deeper than the heart, deeper than the soul—it is the source of our existence. At this stage, reliance on external validation or social stimulation diminishes. Relying on your Self becomes the purest form of freedom. People often misunderstand this as withdrawal or detachment from life. But it's not about rejecting the world—it's about no longer needing it in the same way. When you love being alone, you love yourself. And this is when the turning point where the purpose of True Freedom gets revealed. It's not a functional purpose but a transcendent and immanent purpose. When we have totally freed outselves, from all aversion & resistance to ANYTHING, even drama, pain, and people. We are FULLY FREE TO LOVE. My definition of Love is making the Ultimate Sacrifice of 'giving up' your transcendent freedom and VOLENTARILY descending back, turning back, to face the Pain of the world. That embrace is real compassion. It's becoming a channel for the highest light to descend back to the world. Unifying Heaven & Earth. The journey is not about retreating into solitude forever. It may be the midpoint of the journey. But it goes full circle. This is where true service and contribution really come into play because for the first time we are truly free to serve completely volentarily. Having freed yourself from external dependency, you are no longer taking—you are giving. Relationships are no longer based on need but on genuine love and pure generosity. Social interactions are no longer transactional but are instead expressions of your overflowing presence. Paradoxically, this is the stage where 'socialization' can become deeply meaningful again. Instead of being an attempt to fill a void, it becomes an opportunity to share wisdom, light, and love without depletion. You interact with others not because you need to but because you choose to. This is true freedom having gone full circle—not the rejection of socialization, not the clinging to it, but the ability to engage in it from a place of wholeness. It is the freedom to connect without attachment and to be alone without loneliness. Engaging fully in life, not out of need but out of pure creative expression. This is the path beyond both escapism and attachment. This is where life, solitude, and connection all merge into one seamless dance. Everything gets recontextualized into Pure Divinity.

What do you guys think about that? It seems deceptive when Bernie says "not one nickel of PAC money from the pharmaceutical industry, they came from workers." + talk over RFK to try to make him go silent & then, when RFK continues to press on the issue, Bernie admits to be "the single largest accepter of pharmaceutical dollars. $1.5 million." I thought I liked Bernie but this seems to be a big minus point for his integrity.

Wow, amazing! Your choice of words reminds me of LUCIALORN. They guide towards the highest stages of Enlightenment. Very unique as he talks from the perspective of being & pure divinity. If you desire to permanently shift there eventually, this may be the guide for you.

@Leo Gura ‘truth is antithetical to human survival and social organization’ quote from your new post about why the lower mind is untruthful. I see your point and I’d like to offer a few potentially more expanded perspectives for consideration. It may be true that it is partly in conflict with survival depending on how narrowly you define it but not with human evolution and its fruition, which includes its annahilation (on various levels) through truth and also rebirth into greater consciousness. There is never just death. Death and Life are two sides of the same coin. I may be leaning myself far out of the window here but I’d dare to say that Truth & Love are actually the only non-things which can make social organisation more effective. Truth is more wholistic, inclusive, efficient, effective, and interconnected. It’s litterly the driving force of evolution. Tom Campbell from my big TOE also talkes about this a lot with his lower and high entropy model. It explains how Love litterly is higher organisation & integrated complexity. Of course, the ego thinks it makes something more effective through lying, corruption, exploitation, etc. BUT only in the short term from a very narrow perspective, which is not the truth, the truth is always the whole and that includes all consequences, including long term effects which is where truth wins, always. You also talked about this, explaining how over time the infinite balancing forces of the universe always balance each other out to perfection. Lastly, contemplate that there actually is no higher and lower perspective AT ALL. What is actually closer to the truth (more accurate) is to say a contracted vs expanded perspective. Alternatively we may also use narrow/partial/naive vs inclusive/wholistic/wise but contracted vs expanded already (visually as well) shows that an expanded perspective includes the contracted one. It may sound like a word game but it’s not just a word game. High and low inevitably imply value judgements for most minds, which is why so many ego’s weaponize spiral dynamics and spirituallity as a whole. So I’d say deeming human survival and human organisation as ‘lower mind’ is an over generalization and not nuanced enough. People won’t be pointed to the Beauty and Love of integrated and relevant insight. It’s a missed chance to point to a truth you may not have fully embodied for yourself: Gentle, loving, and graceful living. This includes me as well, of course. Otherwise, you wouldn’t trigger me (no matter how subtle). I’m not a saint, at least, for the time being. But based on my experience contracted and expanded perspectives are much closer to the embodied truth I observe and live out. It’s obvious that resistance (to pain) = contraction = denial = ignoring = ignorance = naive = delusion = self deception = corruption = illusion = suffering = destruction = etc. all go hand in hand. Whereas awareness = relaxation = surrender = insight = energy = clarity = honesty = integrity = Unity = Love = integration = transformation = etc. also all go hand in hand or may be different facets of that one diamond. There’s a reason Ken Wilber has his model as an expanded circle, not stages which imply high and low. Generally, organic, interconnected, alive, growth & specifically expansion is how nature is. When looking at a tree trunk we can see one circle grows to include the next. Sure, a tree also grows tall but there are young trees who can grow tall quickly so you usually don’t determine the age or figuratively speaking ‘wisdom’ of a tree by its height but by its width/expanded circles. Pachamama by Beautiful Chorus lyrics excerpt: ‘I wanna be free, be me Be the only being that I see Not to rise and not to fall Be at one with love and all There is no high, no low There is nowhere else to go Except inside within your heart And be just who you are Pachamama, I'm coming home To the place where I belong’ https://open.spotify.com/track/2WRYbId2ZeaRvytazsQ6Vh?si=emFBEkjRSquoke1SdWf1Pg

Solid video!