Spiral Wizard

Existential crisis after existential crisis after... The last few years have been tough, to say the least. Without going into detail, let me tell you that I had to endure a lot of confusion and suffering. You could argue that the first few years of ‘personal development’ and ‘spirituality’ made my life worse haha I actually hit rock bottom in multiple areas of my life simultaneously and thought that this trend would continue. I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. But... my vision/intuition/higher self pulled me out of the depth of my despair and ignited something unstoppable within my heart. And so I was shot into orbit... December 2020 was the turning point. Ever since I have become happier and more fulfilled with every single week that passes. Sometimes I don’t know how to handle the intensity of this blessing because it’s just so incredible, overwhelming, and beautiful! I don’t know what, but something is going on with my third eye. Lately, I randomly burst into uncontrollable laughter and feel EXACTLY as if I'm super high on weed. Especially when I go meta on the situation I’m in, I realize the absurdity and beauty of THIS moment. I would have never thought that I would be able to access such states without any outside stimulation like breathwork, cold showers, drugs, or even meditation. I remember how meditation and Leo’s videos pushed me into existential crisis, nihilism, and feeling disconnected from the world and my emotions. At that point, I tried to remind myself of the fact that ‘whatever you are going through is what you are coming out of’. Now, after deconstructing my worldview and consciously reassembling it (on going process) everything has shifted. Almost EVERYTHING makes sense now, the universe, my life, reality, almost my entire world view feels cohesive for the first time in years. Now, meditation makes me more joyful, more connected, and more alive! Just watching Leo's videos now triggers unbelievable euphoria hahah Funnily enough, I stumbled across this picture on Instagram a few years ago but it’s shocking how accurate it is. It summarizes my journey almost to a TEE. I went through these exact stages (not linear, sometimes circling back and forth haha). I don’t think that I’m close to enlightenment but I might be heading toward my first glimpse of awakening or a mystical experience. Super excited about that, I truly feel like a playful child that is discovering reality ? I don’t know if this will be permanent. It would be naive to assume that but Leo gave me (or let me rephrase that) I developed such a big picture view that it feels impossible to ever fall back into the frame. Even if another dark night of the soul awaits, I don’t fear it because being so meta makes everything enjoyable. Traffic sucks when you are in it but when you are looking onto it from 10.000 feet above, in a plane, the cars look like ants and even chaos appears beautiful. To be honest, I don’t know what’s going on here but I love it! I feel in sync with life and I get more in tune with it every day. It’s almost dream-like. I went from victimhood and fighting with life to being a creator and flowing with life, in a matter of months. The stars are aligning themselves and all of the above was only possible because I let go of my spiritual ego and realized that I had to master my survival first. When I first discovered actualized.org I fell into the trap of pseudo growth, I was a wannabe tier 2 guy. This is something I would have never admitted a year ago but I am NOT ready for death yet. Building a firm foundation from which you can transcend is crucial in my humble opinion. To stop judging and start embracing / consciously committing to plugging the holes in the ‘lower levels’ of Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs and integrating the ‘lower stages’ of Spiral Dynamics is what actually helped me grow a ton. It’s easy to lose track of or negate the ‘importance’ of relative stuff. I certainly fell into an unhealthy obsession with the Absolut (aka enlightenment), which created a massive shadow. This shit is nuanced and you gotta be a strategic motherfucker haha Now, through focussing on mastering survival and building a proper foundation I rebalanced my life. I’m back in harmony baby AND THIS + integrating/resolving all of the fucking paradoxes and existential crisis I went through resulted in/triggered this outburst of happiness and expansion. Hopefully, this will encourage some of you that maybe aren’t over the hill yet or go through a depressive episode. I also just wanted to spread some love because reading ‘succeeds stories’ like these always made me euphoric about human potential and fueled my vision. Trust me, life can become sooo sweeeeeet :)) When you are stuck just keep going and going and going. Develop this unstoppable drive and have the wisdom to move forward no matter what. One day you will look back in awe and be amazed at how far you have come. Thank you all so much for being part of this community! THANK YOU LEO! THANK YOU TO MYSELF! AND THANK YOU TO YOU! ?

DAAAAMMNNNN this is amazing!! Thank you so much @QandC

@OBEler hahaha you’re right, I’ve fallen in love... with life To answer your question, no, not yet. It would probably be too intense. It’s already a lot to handle this overflow of energy. But I’m slowly acclimating to the vibrancy so who know what blessings are going to enter my life to overwhelm me once again... Just thinking about the possibility of falling deeply in love with a good girl on top of all this makes me go crazy ? @Human Mint This is the point. Embrace it. It’s not that complicated. Just get your life in order before you transcend it. Understand that this is necessary if you want to live a Good Life. Non-duality INCLUDES duality! Every stage serves a function. Try to integrate all the healthy aspects of Spiral Dynamics Tier one. I’d recommend to master your survival first, but you might have different priorities. It’s up to you to figure this out. Find your path! Don’t ask me or anyone else what to do. This is YOUR life, own it! Identify YOUR problems/shadows and and solve/heal them. It’s important that you go within. Start listening to yourself. This video might help: For me personally one of the biggest keys was to craft a clear life purpose and vision. Learning how to navigate all this is super challenging... I understand how much suffering confusion can cause but don’t let this discourage you. Keep going and at some point you will have figured it all out Remember: Only YOU can figure this out for yourself! Hope this helps

FINALLY! Long overdue @Leo Gura. May I ask what made you come to this decision now?

What else is there? The entire world is run by everyone consciously or unconsciously trying to create the right ‘emotional cocktail’ within themselves. Please tell me why this isn’t true haha, I don’t get why anything could possibly be more relevant?! Leo said that if you want to get the Truth you need to desire it no matter what (even if it makes you ‘unhappy’). And I get where he is coming from. I agree if he is referring to the ego, in the sense of it’s not easy but worth it. Of course spiritual work is going to be hard and the expectation that your ego will hate the Truth (make it feel uncomfortable) is helpful. However, I do not agree, if Leo is actually saying that we should pursue the truth for its own sake. That does not make sense to me... Why would anyone go and pursue enlightenment (the Truth) if they weren’t convinced or had the wisdom to intuit that there is light at the end of the tunnel? I am not attached to the ‘Good Life’, enlightenment, personal development, money, purpose, my family, etc. who cares about that stuff? Or anything for that matter? The only reason why I do or pursue those things is because in this reality they happen to make me happy and fulfilled (aka give me the STATE I desire). But if I existed in a parallel universe where it was more effective to build ‘bad’ habits or do ‘negative’ things (like eating shit, killing babies or watching porn 12h per day) in order to achieve the right ‘emotional cocktail’ or state within myself, I wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever takes. My thesis is that the ‘content’ of our lives does not matter at all, it’s completely relative. Now, you might be saying that consciousness is absolute or that it couldn’t be any other way. And that might be true, but which one comes first? Consciousness or ‘your state’? What is the highest priority? I would say that it is the state because even if consciousness is the Absolute Truth what is navigating us towards it? What is the priority guiding us? The desire for the highest state! PS.: just by writing this post and therefore contemplating this topic more deeply, I guess that I came to a new conclusion: As long as I haven’t experienced the Absolute directly everything is relative which means that the only anchor a priority in reality can be the highest state but once you have realized the Absolute, your priority might shift because there’s nothing more fundamental and therefore higher in the hierarchy of priorities than the actual Absolute Truth. So what’s your take on this?

@Consilience wow, thank you so much for that incredibly well articulated post! It resonated deeply.

@Leo Gura but how? At what point did you get there? I am full of shit (dogma) if I blindly follow what you say, so how do I get to a point where I genuinely care about Truth and prioritize it above everything else (peace/happiness/fulfillment/joy/ecstasy/all the good stuff/etc.)? Is direct experience of the Truth the only thing that can change one's mind or is it about plugging the wholes in Maslow's Pyramid of needs, building a solid foundation from which to transcend, and getting to Spiral Dynamics turquoise without any big shadows so you can actually genuinely care about the Truth?

@Leo Gura didn't you do that?

Wow! I just tried my first 15 min meditation with this app and it was easily 3-5x deeper than usual... can't wait to explore it and dive into longer sessions @Marek thank you so much for sharing this!

The documentary Leo shared on his blog a few weeks ago is now dubbed to English, check it out: "The Depth Of Russian Corruption January 24, 2021 This is an amazing work of bravery in investigative journalism. English subtitles available, just click the CC button. Highly recommend watching the whole thing, it will blow your mind."

LEO?! this is good stuff when are you finally going to release the dating series you announced? ?

this is liberating, thank you!

How to stop caring? How to resolve this predicament? How do you let go of the need to help others when they are ‘clearly’ wrong/deluded. I am conscious of ideological crusading and and the concept that everyone inevitability arrives at infinite consciousness helps to let go but I still haven’t completely accepted this. Seeing others live below their potential is heart breaking to me. There is so much unnecessary (self inflicted) suffering... Maybe this just a projection because I haven’t lived up to my potential yet...

@Leo Gura Is this opinion based in direct experience? To me, this sounds like dismissing wise traditions. Sure, there’s a lot of bullshit but stripping all of them away seems like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

What kind of speed reading course did he go through haha

I remember having a wet dream and right before the orgasm I switch from being the man to being the woman it was an amazing experience

Lastly, I read a lot of valid critiques about Jordan Peterson and I remember reading posts from @Leo Gura criticizing Sam Harris but I can’t find them anymore. I haven’t studied Sam Harris too much but every podcast, talk or video I’ve seen from him so far was pretty amazing and I know that Frank Yang also values his work. So could you explain what the issue with him/his teachings are? I am genuinely curious.

this is hilarious and was so predictable the devil is trying to save his ass

Damn. Dear Mr. @Leo Gura, we are still waiting for your promised videos on dating.

this makes a lot of sense to me, thank you @Shane Hanlon! 15:50 ish

Thank y’all, I appreciate your responses! I’m not enlightened yet but after watching Leo’s videos I got it conceptually and now it’s become self evident that evil is a selfish illusion. It’s kinda sad to see how intelligent human beings with insane potential get locked into paradigms or do not live up to their fullest potential because they didn’t receive the ‘right’ education. Wisdom is so crucial... @Inliytened1 what makes you think that? According to him he is experiencing non-dual awareness.

Love it! Thank you for sharing @gggkkk! I honestly can't wait to finally dive into as many retreats as possible. Retreat-Bucketlist: meditation & solo retreat darkroom retreat (solo retreat in total darkness) psychedelics retreat darkroom retreat + psychedelics A yearly ritual sounds reasonable and sustainable for the long term but at some point, I probably will want to do this full-time until the 'big' shift happens. Keep up the Good work guys!