Spiral Wizard

I agree. Also, if you live in a touristy, tropical environment where others make vacation, it becomes 10x easier. Everyone is DTF. If you want to max it out, go to a tropical island where everything you have in a big city is in a small area reachable by bike in a few min, with a bunch of hippies, events, and where open love us celebrated. Again, everyone is DTF. Of course, going there with the intention to hoe around, is at least questionable... so make sure to visit the shaman events for some emotional healing and trauma release 😂

That's it. Consider reading 'The Surrender Experiment' by Michael A. Singer. Super interesting read & 'case study'! He spent 1.5 years in the woods in a little hut, meditating for most of the day, fasting, and completely committing his life to hardcore spiritual practice. After a few life events, it became clear to him that that wasn't going to get him all the way. It got him somewhere remarkable, but not where he aspired to go. So then, he decided to dare and started a surrender experiment. He understood that his efforts could only get him so far. Humbeled, he realized that he didn't know and that guidance or grace was required. Since he didn't have a teacher or guru to surrender to, he chose life. Whenever life presented him with a decision or crossroad, small or huge, he would let go of his preferences, and go with what was asked of him. Almost like saying 'yes' to everything, no matter how many resistances and tantrums his mind would throw up. Surprisingly, this did not end up in disaster, but in incredible synchronicities and grace. Life had more to offer than he could ever take from it. It did not only transform his worldly life (he became a billionaire), but according to him, it also did more for his spiritual progress than all of the hours spent in meditation. Pretty impressive testimony. I will add that: In my experience and understanding, both ego resistance and ascension are an escape from being in pain. The sweet spot is in between the two. Where there is enough spacious awareness to not resist pain anymore, but not too much space, which can make pain disappear. It is in the middle where the pain process has the chance to fully annihilate us and we can be reborn into greater consciousness. This is the essence of liberation & integration.

That's it.

I found one of the trickiest parts about self-inquiry is falling back into the seemingly 'important' content of thoughts rather than recognizing that it's just mind activity happening - in awareness. A friend referred me to a teacher who gives such reflections and it's been extremely effective for me. He works free of charge, if you'd like, I may be able to connect you as well. The prerequisite is an established meditation practice, however. I think he works with experienced meditators, so the seeds he sows have fertile ground to grow.

That is helarious One relief I've found is a guide or mentor if you will who has walked the path of pain processing. To me, he is a benevolent loving presence who automatically relieves so much of my resistance toward the pain that is surfacing. We can burn the candle from both ends. Drop resistance and drop into the emotions. Drop resistance and drop into awareness of awareness. Both offer relief. The former will transform our entire being, especially the human. The latter will awaken us more deeply, at the potential cost of leaving the body behind and spiritual bypassing.

Interesting perspective. I would guess he wasn’t willing to run away from a problem and acted in integrity with his values. Meaning, moving to another country won’t solve the problem. What is a good life worth if what you believe is more important (like making a change) is being run away from? He saw a problem and thought it needed fixing. That is independent of what the rest of the country thinks or votes for. He has his responsibility, and acted accordingly to his values and understandings. He wanted to make a change and maybe even be a hero. If we make a problem important enough in our heads, believing that it’s objectively true, without recognizing that it’s actually not a problem but just unresolved pain within & a strong identification with those thoughts… then violence may seem like a solid solution. But it’s not. It’s a delusion. That being said, life plays itself out so who knows. This may be a valid collective self correcting mechanism. Violence is happening. There is no arguing with that. Is it necessary for the evolution of the whole? Or just a misstep/shadow? I don’t know.

Source?

Yeah, he didn’t seem that clear headed with his escape plan. I’d flee the country on the same day. And if I couldn’t I would definitely NOT sit in a PUBLIC restaurant like McDonalds!?!?! Like WTF bunker down in a basement or in nature until everyone has forgotten about this before you leave cover… Not sure what this guy was thinking. I guess it’s the dilemma of if you are ‘stupid’ (meaning unwise, unloving, traumatized, blind, etc.) enough to commit a crime you are also too stupid to do it well. Unless of course it’s organized crime. But I don’t know. Would be so curious to interview the guy! Edit/PS.: 400th posts, yayy haha 🎉

Look up Detox Dudes, he suffered from severe mental health issues. Maybe you can get some inspiration and information from his journey. He also did A LOT of ayuasca and it didn’t help long term.

Lol

Interesting video, worth watching: What do you think?

How did that work? Did he get permanent damage/debilitation from it or was it enough to be shivering for a day to escape the draft?

@AION you're making some interesting points. I haven't thought about it like this. If I were in the Ukraine I would have probably fled as a refugee on day one because I don't feel an obligation to my country. That being said, I appreciate your perspective. It definitely adds to my understanding. You raised the US as an example. I personally don't feel safe in the US exactly because it's a super power. Same goes for the capital of Germany: Berlin. If there ever was an nuclear attack, big cities of major countries would be the first to be targeted. I feel safest in countries that are far off, which are of little interested to the global super powers, countries in South America, South East Asia, etc. for example. Note that these countries usually do not have strong militaries. Also, if everyone escaped the Ukraine, I doubt Russia would keep crusading, taking over the next country. There are particular reasons they are attacking the Ukrainian. What's your perspective on that?

Feed this entire thread to GPT and brainstorm with it. It can provide great answers when you don't settle for superficial responses and keep diggings and setting a frame that fosters thoughtful responses.

@Adam M You are 100% on the money. ALWAYS ASK WHY! And keep digging! I have healed from an autoimmune disease (not this one so I don’t know all the details but I bet similar principles apply). Now, the next why is, why would you EVEN have a virus stuck in your thyroid? I don’t assert to have the ultimate answer, consider contemplating and exploring answers for yourself with an open mind. In my experience, when I suffered from the autoimmune condition: Crohn’s (chronically inflamed gut). I first restricted my diet because I couldn’t eat almost anything without diarrhea, sever pain, and other symptoms. At some point I asked or was asked, why would I not be able to digest certain foods in the first place? Ah okay, because of leaky gut letting in molecules of food into the blood stream which then allegedly confuses the immune system and makes it go amok. Okay, interesting. Let’s try to heal leaky gut… but why did I even develop leaky gut?!! Ahh because of STRESS! Many doctors realize this now, that stress seems to be at the root of almost ALL CHONIC HEALTH ISSUES. But why was I stressed and not relaxed being-chilling with God? Because of dysfunctional psychological patterns I created as a response to trauma (a running away from and defense mechanism to PAIN). For example, creating a shitty advertising agency to chase money because of the pressure I got to perform and get love from one of my parents. Could be anything. This is one example to make it practical. Stress is a form of fear. Fear of what? It’s ALWAYS fear of some sort of PAIN! Why PAIN though? How does pain & suffering come to be? Contemplate… Our pain cookie has two ingredients: 1. Expectation / Wish / Want / Hope / Desire / Idea / Concept / Illusion <- All this we identify with and create a separate ego identity out of 2. Reality / Truth When these two don’t match and clash, we have pain. What is its job? Pain is the very sensation of ANNIHILATION. Pain is the white light, God,s grace to wake us up from the dream we have created for ourselves to comfort us from the truth. Its job is to ANNIHILATE our EXPECTATION/delusion/illusion and restore truth, realign us, and make us one with reality! God and pain acts through infinite pathways. Meaning, for example, through the butterfly effect, anything could make you sick or healthy. The details of toxins, heavy metals, or even diet don’t matter. Now of course, if you drink 1 liter heavy metals you will die no matter what but why did you drink it or end up in a situation where it was in your water supply? It’s a BIG dare but stay with me until the end of this post and this may sound a little bit less insane: suppressed PAIN! But hold on, who wants to feel pain?! Fuck that… that’s uncomfortable, in fact, it’s death! So fuck that, let’s resist it. What happens next? Well, if we resist our ego/identity’s annihilation, then what do we get? John Yates (Culadasa) or Shinzen Yung once gave us this formula: Pain x Resistance = Suffering Now, what is suffering? All the different emotions we don’t like: - Anger, frustration, etc. - Fear, stress, etc. - Sadness, loneliness, etc. or any of its variations and combinations with thought structures like shame, guilt (thought structures build on fear of punishment), envy, disappointment, etc. All these emotions are e-motions ENERGY IN MOTION. They have a resonance, frequency and vibration. You can tune them with a tuning fork. Each tone on the tone scale (sound wave) corresponds to a color (light wave), and an emotion (emotional wave)! See image below. When these emotions arise because we resisted pain, the white light of pain splits in a prism into all the different colors of the rainbow and we get these wonderful e-motions. You can try this by downloading a music instrument tuning app and make an AHHHH sound when you feel sad for example or fear or anger, etc. and it will give you a done like C for example. C corresponds to blue, which in turn is sadness. Red is Anger. Yellow is Fear. Now when we distract ourselves from these emotions and put our attention on something else (social media, drugs, spiritual transcendence, dogma, money, women, politics, news, power, you name it) do they disappear? No. They do not. “Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed from one form to another.” - First Law of Thermodynamics Now, as we probably all heard: “Where focus goes energy flows” So when we distract ourselves, these emotions don’t disappear, they just LOSE ENERGY. What happens to a wave that loses energy? it slows down and lessons its amplitude. What does that correspond to in our physiology? Many things but one of them is Brain Waves. Brain waves slow down from Gamma, to Beta, to Alpha, to Theta, to Delta. What does this mean? Well Alpha is deep relaxation, Theta are usually dreams, and Delta is deep sleep (see below graphic for more details) What are dreams? A projection of our subconscious mind. What is deep sleep? Unconsciousness, basically. So the slower the brain wave, the deeper we venture into our subconscious & unconscious mind! So what does that mean for our unfelt/unprocessed/ and ignored emotions? It means as we take our attention off them, they lose energy, slow down/ lessen their amplitude, and SINK INTO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND from where they control our every action, desperately trying to trigger them back into the light of our consciousness through self sabotage and by attracting circumstances that reflect that pain. If we keep ignoring these emotions they sink deeper into our unconscious and guess what: GET STORES IN THE BODY!!! From wave to matter. E = mc^2 God’s Grace/white light of annihilating pain, slowed down into colorful emotions, which slowed down into matter. From light, to energy to matter. And voila, we got the gift of long ignored dis-ease that has made it into the physical plane to reflect back to us the light of God we have disowned, resisted and therefore split into many fragments of our psyche. In Chinese medicine they’ve been talking about how stuck energy is creating disease for millennia. But they haven’t figured out the root solution for how to make the energy flow again. We also don’t unify this mess through concentration meditation as commonly thought in Buddhism which TEMPORARILY & forcefully pushes these psyche fragments back together… But by simply and deeply relaxing, doing absolutely nothing, PASSIVELY allowing any and every tension/emotion without getting hung up in thought-stories, so that as we relax and lower our brainwaves into a relaxed alpha state or even theta, all the annoying things we have pushed aside or forgetting can come up. Thoughts that are nothing but leaves in the wind of emotion. As we allow ourselves to losen the grip of arguing, solving, fixing, judging, doubting, etc. etc. etc. and endlessly holding onto our thought-stories, we may realize that right underneath every thought that pops up, there is an e-motion! An energy that carries that thought like a rocket that is propelled into the space of our consciousness. So these thoughts remind us, like notification, to check in with our emotions. With our long forgotten, crying inner child’s. As to no surprise, if we lock our inner childs, in the deepest dungeon of our nervous system, shoved down deep in our subconscious and unconscious, they may start breaking things, no? To attract some attention? Yes. What does a child need? Attention. Or better yet: Awareness. No fixing, no explanation, no thing but unconditional love. What is the highest Love? Complete neutrality/equanimity. Simply put: Pure Awareness. So what do we ‘do’ with our emotions/pains or initially just numbness & tension? Nothing! We let them ‘do’ us. We ‘be’ with them. And passively allow them to do what they may with us. We sit with whatever IT is. With all the turmoil, chaos, drama, and discomfort. All the shit our monkey is throwing around at the walls. We let it have its outburst (rightfully so, because we - unwittingly - made it so) We simply sit with it. And sit with it. We experience emotion without trying to change them in any way. More deeply relaxed than ever before…. And stay with them, until we have created enough of a true, steady, and consistent safe space for our them to truly feel safe enough to open on their own. Even if that means it hurts. It always gets worse before it gets better. Now, all this may seem grimm but what the formula I mentioned earlier (Pain x Resistance = Suffering) did not tell us is that: Pain x Non-Resistance = LIBERATION!!!!! PERSONHOOD, VERY REAL & NAGGING ISSUES, AND MOST ESSENTIALLY PAIN IS NOT A HINDRANCE TO ENLIGHTENMENT BUT THE PATHWAY FREEDOM!!! When we FEEEEEL the tensions in our body, they release our unprocessed emotions, and when we stay with them, (where focus goes energy flows) our awareness recharges these slow waves with energy and therefore brings them back into conscious light. This very process RE-UNIFIES the subconscious mind with our conscious mind where we will meet the original root pain we didn’t want to feel or may not have been ready to feel as a child. This pain is the annihilation of our separate self which was nothing but an a sortation of psychological protection mechanisms we have clung to so tightly that we have mistaken them for ourselves. This annihilation means death… Again, this may sound grimm but let’s not forget our initial question. WHY?!?! THIS IS THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION!! So why TF DEATH? What purpose does death serve? REBIRTH!!! Our limited consciousness which is entangled with a limited reality based on polarity must die so we can be reborn into greater consciousness entangled with a more unlimited reality. This is what RE-UNIFIES our conscious mind, death by death, rebirth by rebirth with the ONE MIND of God. It makes us whole again. Truly holy. Truly healthy. Without the pain process we may experience God but never transform every part of our whole body-mind-spirit being into ever greater levels of wholeness, holiness, and health. If this sounds inspiring, sit down. In deep devotion and reverence. The pain will humble us. It’ll put our feet on the ground, so that we may understand the necessity to walk the walk. Every step of the way. Practically speaking, in my experience and what I’ve heard from others. It can take up to 2-3h per session multiple times per week for deep emotions to surface. May happy much quicker, even just in a few minutes, but that is not to be expected. The beauty is, either we get emotions to process or we get expectation that create more resistance & pressure aka pain. Lying down also helps a lot with relaxing much deeper. It will also stirr up more thoughts but as we have learned (I’m learning with you here) thoughts are nothing but notifications of suppressed emotions - thorns in our heart - that simply want to be taken out. The exercise I mentioned earlier can also help re-energize unconscious emotions and make them conscious again by making an AGHHHHH sound, looking at what note/tone the tuning app gives you back, seeing which color it corresponds to and then which emotion that is. When we then make that same AHHHH sound again like a Shaman, while looking at the color, it helps bring it up. Then we just relax and feel for a moment what is inside. Lastly, and for me most importantly, being in the presence of someone who has gone through this process and can hold space, reflecting light back at you, while also dismantling misunderstandings (psychological pain avoidance mechanisms) that make our mind prevent us from allowing ourselves to relax deeper than ever before, can be all the difference. When I started this feel & heal yourself / Emotional Energetic processing thing 1.5 years ago, I could not actually get down to processing emotions. It simply would not happen no matter how much I relaxed on my own. Only by working with someone who in my view is a total wizard was it possible. It’s similar to the tuning fork example, when he can see and sense my suppressed emotions, by simply being in pure awareness of these, his presence attunes to my frequency and transfers energy (like a tuning fork that can influence another tuning fork and transfer energy). This energy then raises the emotion out of the suppressed subconscious or unconscious into the conscious and can be processed especially with a mature adult space holder who dismantles our seemingly infinite running away/avoidance/deception/delusion mechanisms. The guy I’ve worked with is Detlef Rehbein. He’s not famous, has no social media, and lives in some random German village. Until recently his website was from 2006 or something like that. Just recently one of his ‘students’ updated it but I think it looks like some cheap marketing template so I may help him get that fixed. When I asked him to send me his book ‘Feel and heal yourself’ via email, he didn’t know what an email attachment was. So you get the vibe. He’s not for everyone, especially because his English is not really good. And I don’t want this to look like a promotion. Really, what I have shared in this post is my current highest understanding after 7 years of conscious trying to figure out the friggin universe is and what essentially matters. After traversing endless labyrinth in my mind, I’ve come to an interesting edge and this is my view. Also, right now Detlefs book is only available in German. I’ve decided to translate it to send it to a few of my English friends but that’s not done yet. A great English author/saint that talks about this topic (not specific to health but Pain and its role in Enlightenment) is The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer and The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. These books will explain it extremely well but they don’t really help in actually processing the pain. Still it’s the best explanation for the mind I stumbled upon so far. So I encourage you to find your own wizard or give it your best shot on your own. I have no doubt there are other great space holders out there. In fact, I have faith & hope (let’s see if that gets annihilated ;). I may have seen a few on YouTube that seemed promising in their understanding but I didn’t mention them here because I have no direct experience with their therapy or 1-1 work. Still if you are curious I will mention a few honorable names here: True Freedom Teachings website/blog & YouTube has some interesting things to say about emotional processing as well. Teal Swan (with caution). I really don’t know her teaching well. I only visited one seminar. She seemed great, actually fantastic at parts work and she may be able to help you process emotions, she also has fascilitators but she still talks in all kinds of complex tangens and never simply gets down to the essential truth of pain which is SO SIMPLE AND TRUE! So be aware. Decent start to correct some of the spiritual bypassing we are all guilty of but I don’t think she is ready to help you understand what I’ve pointed to here today. A couple others, happy to share more if interested. I will note that not Teal, True Freedom Teachings and not even Michael Singer, talks about this feeling resonance that happens in the presence of someone that attunes to your emotional waves. This is not shakipat or a traditional spiritual transmission. The closest English would would be deep resonance/empathy/compassion. It’s complete openness, neutrality, equanimity and extremely beautiful and soft Love. Like a log of wood that is simply and completely passively touched and carried by the waves of emotion that can actually perceived by another. Anyway, this may be a good start. And if nothing works, try family constellation. Also a German invention lol but may be available in your area in English. It can at least give you a taste of similar emotional release - even if not to the point of Enlightenment - it can get you inspired and a taste of what Emotional Energetics is about. It’s real, honest & grounded. I’ll end with this: It really can be done. Don’t despair. It may look like a impenetrable wall of turmoil, fear, or whatever emotion, but if we stay with it, without any agenda, if we were willing to fully be with it forever, then, and only then, miracles may reveal themselves. Godspeed and Good Luck ✌🏽 Eric