Exystem

@Leo Gura Thanks a lot for your time and answer, I'll digest that before responding and contemplate about it for some days or weeks

@Leo Gura Yes, I am god. But that's the point where I kinda disagree with you (appearently), since to me it seems to be obvious that God doesn't know itself. Knowing can't know itself. There is no-thing to self-referentiate to. Because reality/god is infinite (actual infinity), there's no position to know it from. Being can appear as a god (god-mode,god consciousness, god-state -> a potential infinity so seemingly close to the actual infinity so it feels like that) but can appear as a grasshopper or deluded human as well (a way more limited potential infinity). Being/God is so absolute it doesn't even contain itself, it just is itself, and therefore reality is nothing but infinite partial perspectives, but for no one. No one knows/experiences the whole reality/God, since reality/God is knowing/experiencing. There's no one behind/in relation to it who could ever know it.

In any case! I don't even trust myself, for I don't know what I am, since there is nothing knowable to self-referentiate to, because there is only knowing (experiencing) happening.

@Leo Gura Thanks a lot for your posts, I'm glad someone speaks so clear about it, conscious of his own potential self-delusion. I enjoy reading it and feeling the resonance, it's enjoyable to learn from a human with so much epistemological grounding. Most gurus/teachers know shit about that.

There is the non-search. But the non-search is not something you can find. As long as you look for the non-search, you will not find it. Only when you really accept that you will always be on the search and accordingly stop looking for the non-search, have you arrived at the non-search. Then it becomes clear that your whole search has always been just a search for the non-search. That all the apparent finding of harmony, fulfillment and satisfaction in your search only came about because of the temporary end of your search, because of the experience of a non-search state. Then it becomes clear that you have always been in the same place, even when the globe is turning under your feet, that you have always been in the present moment, even when the clock on the wall is turning. That there was never anything to be found, since everything was just an expression of the non-search, even the search itself. Then it is clear that there is only the non-search. The fool seeks happiness in the world, the wise seeks in himself for the non-search, and the enlightened one is happy not to have found either of them there.

I like to differentiate between now and the present moment. If you stay in the present moment, you actually cling to the past, since the present moment is fleeting. Staying in the now means realigning your focus over and over again back to now, the most present moment. The problem is that your ego really loves to trick you believing that you stay in the present moment but actually clinging/attaching to a moment which has already passed by long ago. It can only grab which is graspable, so it needs reduced information before it can stay there. But the now is infinite information, so the ego can't grasp/grab it. So it reduces information, clings to that moment and calls it "the present moment", although it is actually a past one. So of course you must get bored, watching the same thing you've already watched since some time. But actually the thought "oh this is boring" is the new present moment. If you don't see that thought, you identify with it, believe it and stay in the so-called present moment which actually is none anymore - and get bored. The now is always refreshing, never boring. Being bored reminds you that you are actually attached to a past moment. Realign your focus back to the now! This thread should give you more answers:

Maybe this thread can be an answer to your question: Actually, the absolute conscioussness NOW is always the same, there are no levels, you are that, there is only that. But within in the apparent story of the ego, the goal is to raise the frequency/state of consciousness of the present moment. The present moment and NOW are not exactly the same, the first points to the picture, the second to the film which is made of the pictures. So in the picture, there can be a high or low state of consciousness, but the film is consciousness itself - neither low nor high.

Don't know where to start - but this is actually everything a spiritual seeker must know: How to raise ones frequency of consciousness (or in other words) minimize the radius of the self-refernce circuit. So what do I exactly mean by that? Given the assumptiom that everything is one / you are everything/ there is only that, the only way to interact with so-called reality is by yourself/ through yourself/ with yourself. So you are seer/ seeing / seen, subject/ process/ object, receiver/ medium/ information, these triads are closed circuits. When identification happens, the triad apparently splits apart. Let's try to find a metaphora for it even though it's just a fairy tale of course: Imagine "you" are sitting in a train and watch the train tracks. Your look is statically focused into nothing (particular), you watch the train tracks passing by forever and ever. In this state you are completely one with the scene. There is no mind, no body. Just "train tracks passing by" is happening. You are not really in the train, you actually are the train, the process of watching and the train tracks itself. Nothing complicated here. Then, one day, a thought arises like: "What am I (actually made of)? What does a single rail actually look like?" And then your look clings to a single rail. You turn your eyes to see how it is falling behind, and then it's out of your sight again. But this was not a fullfilling answer to your question, since you couldn't see all the details of the rail and the moment you could examine its properties, it disappeared again. So your look clings to the next rail and so on and so on. Every rail you examine first lets you hope and makes you excited to get the answer to your question, but then you mourn after it the next second, leaving you with more questions than before. Your eyes are in constant motion, from one rail to another. Relentlessly, your restless soul longs for the answer, since you apparently lost the selfknowledge. A subtle memory of the natural relaxed state of "train tracks passing by" rests in the depth of your being, but you project this state into the future. You can only imagine to rest like this after finding the answer to your question. You cling to the rails, but they are sooo fleeting. Then you suddenly recognize that there is something which is always present during your desperate search for the answer. Even though the rails appear and disappear and your eyes constantly move, there something subtle ("within your awarenes" - not really ) which is still the whole time. You try all the methods to concentrate on that again, which is constantly here, not fleeting. In the end, they all have the same goal: raising the frequency of your eyes moving back to the "statically focused into nothing (particular)" - state. Minimizing the distance between the old rail (the past) and the present one, so that your eyes can rest instead of constantly shifting from one place to another. Means: raising the frequency of your consciuosness, minimizing the radius of the self-reference circuit. Here are some examples: Neti neti: Realizing you are neither this trail, nor that one - makes your look relax into the natural state since the rails become less and less important Self inquriy: By zooming out and turning inward, you realize that the rails don't define your being, your eyes stop focusing on something far out there which is rushing by, but focus closer and closer to yourself - the focuspoint transitioning distance becomes shorter and shorter Letting go/doing nothing: Your eyes just relax, you stop energetically clinging to the rails Breathing meditation/body awareness: Instead of being imersed in the looking, you relax into what is - not trying to solve the riddle, but let your body find its natural energetc equilibrium Being present: You stop clinging to past rails - everytime you remember clinging to a past rail you naturally shift back to the present one All these techniques shorten the distance of switching your focus from one rail to another, and try to bring it back into the natural relaxed state, the energetc equilibirum, which is the state of the least resistance. The shorter the distance between two focus points (the smaller the radius of the self-reference circuit), the higher the frequency of consciousness (frequency of being in the present moment). "Enlighenment" is the natural state of least resistance, which was there in the beginning, when you didn't identify with the rails. It's the closed circuit of the triad. Of course, there actually is only enlightenment, because you were/are present all the time, only your eyes were not as relaxed as they could be. So being completely present kind of equals an infinite frequency of consciousness - and this is perfect nothingness/silence etc. What do I mean by that? Imagine a beat every time you focus back on the present - At the beginning of your spiritual journey it occours quite seldom, slowly raising its frquency. Then it slowly turns from single beats into a clear tone - moving up the ladder through all the octaves. Since then you still have the feeling of being in a journey of raising your frequency - until it becomes such a high pitch that you can't hear it anymore - complete silence, stillness. I could write more about what I mean by minimizing the radius of the self-reference circuit, giving other metaphoras like a planet (object) flying around a star (subject) until both collapse into each other when the rotation frequency hits its maximum. But I think this text can be enough for you to realign again with what your highest goal is. Remember - there is only the present moment to focus back on the NOW. Don't attach to this moment, since it is fleeting. Don't stay in the present moment (which is impossible since now it is not the present moment anymore), stay in the NOW. Realign your focus over and over again, every time you recognize that clinging to a moment happens. Your frequency of consciousness will raise, which soon will be recognizable. Then you will realize that there is nobody and no situation that could ever disturb you in your meditation. That you don't meditate by closing eyes and sitting with straight back. You then will meditate while eating and shitting. You can meditate RIGHT NOW, just come back here and now again. What is real/true NOW? Who are YOU? Don't project the answer into the future, don't lose yourself in thoughts (rails), just come back to what already is the case - eternally NOW.

Wow! Beautiful trip report, I like that one

For evil not to exist only the absence of your judgement is required - wich is one facet of enlightenment

In this short anecdote the brain is a metaphora for the Truth (or Love/God/Self/Consciousness/etc.) 1. Just living life having no questions 2. People telling me about something called the brain 3. People telling me that good and wise people have found the brain while evil and dumb people are far away from the brain 4. Asking others where the brain is 5. Everyone tells me where they found the brain but they all seem to contradict each other 6. Asking others how they found the brain 7. People telling me they have found a particular book and saw the brain in there 8. Looking into these books and seeing lots of different brains, not knowing which is the one true brain 9. Asking a person considered to be truly good and wise which brain it is 10. The person tells me to look inside to find the one true brain 11. Looking inside not being able to find the brain 12. Believing I must be an evil and dump person, I’m far away from the brain, because it’s neither inside of me nor anywhere close to me 13. Being quite disappointed, seriously asking myself where the brain could actually be 14. Realizing that the best and wisest people truly must have found the brain inside, because that’s the only place where you could never be far away from the brain 15. Asking myself how they must have found the brain 16. Finally realizing that they just found out the same - that the one true brain couldn't be anywhere else but inside 17. Telling everyone that I found out that the one true brain is inside of me and so can they find out for themselves 18. Realizing there has never been a place or a moment in time where anyone has ever been far away from the one true brain 19. Asking myself how one could ever come to believe that the one true brain has been lost 20. Realizing that the one true brain can actually never be found anywhere, neither outside nor inside, because it’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time 21. Telling everyone the one true brain is nowhere to find but the moment they finally stop searching for it, they will realize it in everything 22. Realizing there is not the slightest difference between me and the brain, the brain is hallucinating everyone including me/I am hallucinating everything including the brain 23. Telling bodies that nobody exists and trying to point out that no brain is the one true brain 24. Just living life having no questions

Well, first of all I don't believe in Mahasamadhi. Still don't understand how anyone in history would have been able to achieve it when "I" as the appearence of this world obviously exist. And the small individual self dies anyway. So all the stories about mahasamadhi are just made up by yourself in order to give you the reassuring illusion of a choice to annihilate yourself. Whatever self annihilates whatever self. Have never heard of a convincing mahasamdhi concept so far... Maybe someone can clear me up? And on the other hand, the whole world is your body. So no matter whether you have the right chemicals already in the brain or you seem to take them from the outside - remember, inside and outside are one. A spiritual gift may be the right genetics as well as the right drugs. "To posses the spiritual gift" - why making this radical distinction between inside and outside the bodymind when the distinction itself is an illusion?

Wow, thanks for your sharing @electroBeam! To swallow the truth completely you must eat up yourself, which seems to be an impossible task for a human. I fail constantly on that regard. I also see that in the end, no matter how deep my awakenings, I'm still left with only knowing that I don't know. People claim to have realized absolute truth but I still don't know whether a knowledge of absolute truth even exists. Doesn't knowledge imply a kind of seperation between knower and known? I'm just left being whatever I am, the one and only great mystery. I'm grateful for your honesty, I really appreciate that. It reminds me to stay humble and not to claim to know something I don't know. I know nothing, just that my mind can get f*cking twisted and insanely deluded. And I know this masochistic tendency quite well, too. Always looking for a bad trip to reveal more shadows. But this spiritual seeking seems just to be a level up in this strangeloop of simulations, a next bite into my own infinite tail. Next level hypocrisy.

@JosephKnecht Well that's neither a video nor a picture of a photon. Don't know what they exactly filmed but these are zillions of photons. Definitely. Well put! Well, who knows? A wave is just a limited description, it sometimes appears to be one. But there's too much strange shit going on in quantummechanichs to state it as an absolute. Interestingly the human eye can detect a singular photon. That's it. But not for a materialist He must draw a map for the territory, otherwise his life has no purpose anymore.

Right now I'm writing a book to deconstruct everything in order to get rid of the illusions that infested my mind. I also wanna reach other people, especially scientists and self-styled non-believers. Contemplating the nature of myself/god and searching for metaphors I realized the perfect strangeloopy analogy of "a proper picture of a photon". This will be my favorite answer to all the people that want me to prove/show them god: "First show me a proper picture of a photon, then I will show you god!" There are many reasons why a proper picture of a photon is impossible/strangeloopy/infinite. So on the one hand there is and will never be any picture of a photon, while on the other hand all the infinite pictures are nothing but pictures of photons. In order to convince ideologically-stuck people I need your help to find arguments/explanations/ways to realize that there could never be such a thing as "a proper picture of a photon". So please tell me, Why do you think "a proper picture of a photon" is impossible?

When nobody is appearing as mind, nobody minds When nothing is appearing as matter, nothing matters because absolutely every limit is appearing When you are appearing as matter, you will matter When you are appearing as mind, you will mind because absolutely every appearance will be limited So how is it that you strive for the realization of self = not-self / you = nothing? Because you matter to realize it and you mind not to have realized it yet. And why haven't you realized it yet? Because nobody minds whether you realize or not that nothing matters.

Indras net - the same reflects the same within the same I am absolutely recursive for there is nothing else Within the same there must be infinite recursions Within the infinite recursions there must be the same recursion = echo = mirror = iteration = self-referentiality The appearances - just different degrees of self-referentiality/various iteration rates, or infinite subsets of infinity

Have you truly thought it through, Connor? Congrats for your realizations, but you seem to be kinda stuck witin a solipsistic phase. Here are some points to think through before taking a metaphysical standpoint as yours: First of all, there are so called split-brain patients. Their corpus callosum is cut so their hemisheres aren't connected anymore. Interestingly when you give them a key to the right hand they can say what it is but don't know how to use it. Within the left hand they can now open doors but don't know what the object is called. But if you ask them whether their perception of reality has changed since the operation, they confidently reply "no" in most of the cases (left hemisphere is replying). So these patients experience two realities at once, but without direct communication between both. So both parts aren't directly conscious of the other part, which then appears to be unconscious. Secondly, the limits of space and time that a human experiences must not necessarily be the limits of space and time god imposes upon itself. Let me further explain: Obviously our human capacity to understand time is very limited. We tend to think about it in a very linear way. But why should time really be this way? Does it actually exist? Maybe god does not experience time in a one-dimensional linear way but rather as a two-dimensional (or higher) plane? Then there are infinite parallel sets of linear time. Why limiting god to only one linear time axes? Within a two-dimensional timeplane one of the axes represents our linear causality we all are used to, while the other represents the spectrum of all beings possible. The whole timeplane is nothing but "the NOW", with each crosspoint being a moment within spacetime. All are interconnected and simoultaniously experienced within (by) god. But same principle as with the split-brain patients: for the left hemisphere, the right becomes unconscious and vice versa. As for one being, all the others become unconscious and vice versa. As from one perspective, all the others become inaccessible and so on.... Isn't this a much better explanation for what god can do with infinite (!) intelligence/imagination? I mean, does experiencing an ant require the same intelligence as experiencing a superintelligent alien? Are the little bits of information an ant processes really all that god could experience at once? Yeah, you are the only entity, and that's you. Because ants, humans etc. are no real entities/beeings, but different (simoultanious/parallel) persperctives of the same being (god) upon it self. They don't have any independent substance/reality. I could present more arguments but I don't know whether you are even interested in these philosophical abstractions. I just want to remind you to not to be too quickly with stating absolute facts, first of all you can delude and limit yourself and secondly you could delude all your listeners. Maybe you have already overcome the solipsistic phase but not everyone took the work as serious as you did. If you tell your audience everyone is simply an NPC you may cause serious damage. It's important to realize that every limited being is an NPC, including yourself! That the only non-NPC is the only unlimited being called god. We're all on the same way and none of us has figured it all out, because we're all just part of the same game. But don't limit god to single player mode. Within quantum computing all possible processing routes are taken simoultaniously. It's a brainfuck, but closer to reality. This doesnt interfere with the absolute oneness paradigm, it's not a bug but a feature.

I wanted to share this article which hints to the nature of the universe: A holographic fractal built by self-simmilarity. Have a nice read! https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphy.2020.525731/full#

@Rilles Already happening. You are the chinese students not beeing able to properly learn english because of their teacher.

Notice that it was only 1/50 of what is awaiting for you In a way everything is Karma (action) and nothing (because there is no individual self getting punished for its free choice). What you are doing to "others" you are instantly doing to yourself because there are no others. So everyone has always been punished by karma. When the mind recognizes a pattern in action-reaction happening he calls it karma (instead of applying it to everything seemingly "random" also), though there actually is no real causation happening. Everything is what it is by itself, though there are lots of correlations appearing within the human world.

@Cubbage Wow, what an intense experience! It really reminds me of a very similar experience of mine, there were a lot of parallels! I also had the merging of faces of policemen to friends and family, where in retrospect I realized I was interacting with all the aspects of my unconscious psyche. I really underestimated the effects of high dosages of LSD. Here's my report, it has a lot of parallels with yours, worth reading

@Breakingthewall You're right, ego repressing will backlash on you. But it's rather about letting it do what it needs to do and just observe it without judging. The ego has its perfect place within this world, but it claims the throne of god. It's about knowing what the ego belongs to by letting go what belongs to the ego. Seeing through the veil is only possible when the curtains fall.The upholding of the curtains is a quite exhausting process, so we should get used to sometimes do nothing, in order to see clear and invest the energies more properly.

The ego is the only thing which appears to do something, everything else just is. The ego seems to have the unbelievable important job to make the world a better place. So by either not identifying with the ego or by just observing it, by putting the breaks on it, not fueling it with your attention, you then starve it to death, so the theory. So the impression of doing something arises through the ego, it claims ownership for the movements your bodymind creates. By withdrawing your attention/energy the ego breaks down as if you pulled the plug of your computer. It's like standing on a boat in the middle of a see trying to constantly flatten the waves with the paddle. That's what your ego does in order to create peace and harmony. So just stop it. Rather do nothing, the waves will stop by themselves if you give it some time. It's like murky waters. Don't whirl around in order to see clear. Just do nothing and watch the dirt settle on the ground.