Applegarden

Member
  • Content count

    774
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Applegarden

  1. Whats the point of needing a point to live life? Whats the point of the point of needing a point to live life? Whats the point of the point of the point of needing a point to live life? Life is beyond survival and therefore languages. Do you want to know or do you want to look for points?
  2. It really depends on the girl however, do more intimate (not necessarily sexual activities with her). Give her a good massage, rub her with some aroma oils or whatever, cook her nice dinner, cuddle, or try even tantra or something. Spend some time with sielence with her and just enjoy each others presence maybe have a really deep emotionally releasing conversation or other relationship techniques to get each others point across and compromise where you both feel ok. What you can do however is to just be aware of you urges more and see that you don't neccesarily need to do it every time when you need to do it. Try to make conscious decision even if she is there don't engage sometimes, maybe it will happen more spontaneously and from her initiative and will to go on you.
  3. @Elham jjajajajajajajajajajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
  4. Keto, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, various other cronic diseases - you can find almost everything here, and i can confidently say chronic diseases are becase of your diet mostly. https://www.youtube.com/user/drericberg123/videos This channel is such a gold mine, i need to study this and create a good fitness plan and i also want to do some blood testing and get myself some mineral profile by taking some samples of my hair and getting them analyzed in lab so i can see in what areas i am deficient. You can do this too! Get some advanced tips that can directly improve your life by lifestyle change. Medication will never cure the chronic disease, just delay the inevitable catastrophy.
  5. @Nate0068 Start slowly, don't announce anthing to anybody, spend alot more time with yourself, just sit without entertainment, thats a good way to start. Depends how much do you want it. Its your game, see that it all is happening within you.
  6. @Space I mean yeah, seems to be the case, however i can't see why this is important tho, personally, maybe it is tho. I am just clueless.
  7. @Bill W Thank you, i like expressing myself this way, don't mind me puking on here, i hope you got whatever you needed, my friend, lets argue about my argument like it means something anyhow, shall we? (Yes, i want some entertainment.) Btw salad is good for you!
  8. Men have less than women... But wait, with who? All the women hookup with very few men? Are there more lesbians than gays? Do girls participate more with groupies, wait... How could both genders not have equal amount of sex if they are heterosexual? My mind just crashed... Ohh its about the age, so what if women want older men, assuming this is even true. Now, why does this even matter? And everyone wants SMART, ATTRACTIVE, SUCCESFUL, EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT. Meh, just leave it to run its course, don't engage, we all have double standards, the mating game is illogical and very hypocritical, sofisticated, complicated and very based on the social hierachies and whatever values at the time. I am not happy about the values most people hold so i don't even engage, this is a self-development forum, if you want some sex, if you work on it, you can score or whatever. But sadly, this is not going to fulfill you in any way in the longest term that is this one lifetime till the end, there are bigger things to realize, if you focus on the nature of reality this will just mean nothing.
  9. About it being a biblical thing, well such a thing doesn't make sense to me, as guilt and envy, status, sexuality, fame, authority, martyr, animal planet thing, who is the king of some idea to make others feel worse and then be some kind of a saviour, well maybe there is wisdom to this morality but how distorted it has to be if we recall 2000 years of current events of human history, and history of sexuality and christianity. By the way why would you need others approval to express your passion to sex if you both agree with it? If you both are transparent, what else do you need really? There are quite a lot of people that will acctually want to make you feel bad for your passion. Its better to be open than repressed. I would suggesting working on your fears of what other people will think about you and fear of judgement and go and do it if you want, nothing and nobody is stopping you. If you still feel something is wrong try different angles, still if you feel something wrong, maybe time to renounce it.
  10. Well first of all i want to say i am a merely former masturbation addict and a virgin (23). I still masturbate occasionally but for me there is a dillemma that started a long time ago, first it was the fear of being shamed, fear that i am wrong for who i am and i should feel guilty for it, then i started to notice the uselessness to it as i started doing spiritual practice, now i see that really affects my creativity, mental alertness, time i spend thinking about sexual stuff and spend time being lustful, and is acctually an obstacle to me being blissful, as the body stores its capacity of the reproduction fluid and lets say this energy starts expressing in different way, goes upward and centers in my heart chakra, vishudda, anja and sahasrar most importantly. Now this feeling robs me of fears, wanting to indulge in short term compulsions and escapism like video games, youtube, junk food and really centers me in stilness, not wanting to impress people and opossite gender especially and you know how many delusions one can fall with that. In that state or flowing life really feels like illusion to me and to trade that for this pleasure i personally don't want anymore, every time i masturbate, i know my intuition, intelect, long term decision making, even my creativity suffers from that and i know its just so useless (not wrong or something to be shamed, you can do what ever you want and nobody is an authority on your life other than you and not masturbating acctualy helps me to hold my values, be hard to make angry and protect my own subtle artristy and remember that i am not what i think i am). Even now another thing arose that i don't want to masturbate because it attaches strans or energetic chords to your genitals, left side of my heart, and makes me think of opposite gender and the need of partner or wanting a spouse arises and i feel my life should not be about it, so i don't want to be affected by this force to interfere as little as possible in my future decisions and i don't want to affect those women who i masturbated to, as they maybe in relationship themselves or don't want to immagine me having sex with them. And the worst thing is, if you masturbate or have sex with multiple people the mindset it creates, to just ignore everything and do it with someone, if they look good or fit some first impression now they are the center of your attention and that is not good for you and especially with porn i feel like you are owerwhelimg the lust with more and more lust and making it more and more of an unconscious behvaiour that you just have to do it, no questions asked. I might ask, where are you hurrying, why such a need to do it now? Why not delay it as counter-intuitive as it seems? Do you really need it that much here and now? What happens if you just drop it as something that might be not needed for you, just for like 30 minutes, maybe it will increase in quality. Note that i am not shaming you for anything whatsoever, thats not my point, these are just my guessings about the topic based from my sexual experience. I also haven't got sex, and acctually by every passing day, week, month, year i care less and less, as something really is happening to me and the renounciation of my physical desires come to an end, i acctually accelerate them quite a bit. I would love to hear your response. I mean if you want it do it but at the end of the day the question stands, how much do you really need it? Its a quite sophisticated thing to manage and huge effort is into it, if you don't get it you suffer, maybe even imensly depends on the factors and try to escape it again by release in porn, imo this leads to a big psychological collapse one day, by more and more growing number of factors, age, impotence, restrictions due to heart disease, depression, change in partner, death of the partner, divorce, accident, whatever, you get the point. You also might have a constant fear of not getting it, do you?
  11. @Kaity I would rather ask myself this question. Why would you feel useless? What is the need to feel useless? Why do you have to feel useful? Why is there sucha strong necessity to neurotically be useful NOW. What for this necessity? Why do you need purpose to be happy? Why not haing a LP feels bad? Yes seems like counter-intuitive questions, but they have helped me to acctually flow towards the same destionation as my neurotic behavour wished to go to. Where are you hurrying to? Life is going on its course and is much bigger than all of us, i would rather find a capacity in myself to acctually enjoy it and have a powerful routine to make my body and mind capable if you intend to helping somebody, and you and me know very well, they will deterioate, but how fast tho. You are flowing towards the cosmos, cosmos if flowing towards you, let your desires become true, be careful what you wish fore and raise the capacity to enjoy it when it comes and maybe even some capacity to act towards that for now, and also don't forget, failure is a part of the process and enjoy them, sit and cry out them, it will be nice!
  12. Not only is it optional but also fairly optimal thing to do, felt like rocks fell off my head, don't have to think about any of that nonsense, what other people think of me and so on.
  13. Great addition on top of self bias series and other series where you highlight the cunningness of the ego. Great pointers in the vid in my opinion: Revealing the nature of all the desires you had and how much did acctually you fullfilled, Persistance over content Spontaneous desires and fantasies due to boredom or seeking pleasure. Changing nature of the ego due to various reasons including due to external circumstances. What you wanted now vs 5 years ago.and the delicatness of how you now wanted something that happens to be the same exact thong instead of then. Maybe because you forget all the immagi ary desires you dont really know what you want and the ego doesnt know what it wants. Writing - great tool to write various plans, personal budget, dreamboards, self reflection journals, because you cant trust your mind, it will take longer, more suffering or maybe not even reaching there in this lifetime. Logic is not reliable because it stems from your memory and even if you were convinced in an argument you forget your conviction and forgot your renouncination in the topic. You are better than me at this and sure you have covered these in some sense but i think it could be a nice concentrated video on how you fuck urself because of the nature of frogetfulness.
  14. Sugar as a composite together with fruits and vegetables, i don't know about syroups tho as they are already too produced with too less complementary substances in them to help you metabolize it. So for example. - sucrose with beetroots, sugarbeets, fructose with fruits; they have all the components in them to metabolize the excess sugar efficently, unless you already have insulin resistance or other sugar problems. Honey is probably the best, meanwhile artificial sweeteners are not holy and i don't suggest, some of them may accumulate in the body and just stay there, some my cause dhiarea if consumed too much, some are rumored to cause brain diseases, i might have to update my response as i study food industry in my uni.
  15. @JunkyJu You probably don't want to hear this but. If an animal dies, the suffering it goes trough and the feeling that the animal feels when you took his life away, also the physical pain e.c.t. For the sake of experiment you can try to write on paper how would you feel if somebody would take your life, that resentment, rebellious feeling, complete victim mentality, the world is at fault, and the fear and suffering from physical torture, also the growing conditions e.c.t. just a basic question for you, do you want to feel angry, jelous, bitter or lustful for no obvious reason? Probably not, so all those emotions are stored in the pork, and will show if consumed regulary. Take what i said with grain of salt, don't make food your religion as stage green people do. But since you asked this question, i wanted to share my perspective, also killing and eating something killed just rubs me in the wrong way so i just personally avoid it, nothing personal. Since i stopped eating meat my spiritual practices just skyrocketed.
  16. @Hardkill If you ever played Warcraft III then i can make it into one cheat code - greedisgood People have their own stuff going on and are very complicated and on the very top on that, totally lost, clouded, lost in their immaginations, chasing the visible and percievable cheeses of life and fullfilling various desperate fantasies their mind immagined as a result of boredom and escape from suffering. If you have a preference you are a hypocrite, just like me, its just that in relationships and especially romantic relationships this hypocrisy is seen the best.
  17. Torquise is so absent so its really needed, there is to much of orange and green even blue advice, so we need torq and naturally leo feels this is what needs to be talked about he runs this thing.
  18. @Astra Very good point, i will get critisized by any number of people no matter what i do, acctually i decided to quit when i started to succeed after 4 hour practice sessions, after i underestood my life is still not working from the subjective perspective, i realized sure i can do it but nothing other than enlightenment will make me happy in the long term due to the clarity and, if i sit and close my eyes i don't care if i play music or not. @modmyth To respond to your additional question - Why even bother coming into body in the first place? Well, i have had some past life sessions with i am not going to name who, and that explains why i have the biomemory or karma of music, well why did i come is a really good questions but i don't think you underestand what you are asking, because i don't know when the seperation happened, when the ignorance happned and for what reason, i rather find it out trough enlightenment, as i know there hasn't been any other way that i am aware off. That is also why i want to die to find out and to have this tangible sense of immortality rather than it being just a concept for solace, anyhow i have infinite amount of time to be a musician if i keep choosing to be reincarinated, and what better way to cultivate my consciousness and increasing the chances of me not deciding to not keep reincarinating and acctually have the circumstances in maybe next or some other lifetime to be a musician and be very conscious, right now i am deluded, and not to mention there are various psychic powers which i was told i had in past lifetime as downloading information such as music and playing it trough deities, ofc don't believe because i said it but i have some of these dimensions i am aware off but i want to also underestand them, so that is a part of my work and why i wouldnt choose music now. And suppose in 20 years life circumstances will become such we wont work or as much or be sitting in more feminine economy, where artists get grants or educational programs or have universal basic income, then very easy to decide to do it, but now its very grim for me as i have no culture around me that supports what i do, maybe a little bit online. And while everything can be meditation, there are techniques that are intense, faster, better and ways of living that will get you there faster, and support my unconscious patterns less. And not to mention what dimensions awakening encompasses that are just so much grander to explore.
  19. After some good 2-3 years of meditation, i want enlightenment work to fill up all my free time, my hard passions are no more important to me, and it really feels lile that, now i am just waiting to die... In the best sense possible. Nothing to prove to anyone, nothing to be. Feels great to share this insight i boldly decided, i want to have that extra time when working 9 to 5 and to reduce suffering due to the external ambition that might not mean anything much to me since i know there is no reason to be born and to continuning to reinforce self identity... What a relief!
  20. Thank you, i can't predict when and what will happen but if i come back to music, i will know exactly what to do. Well, its certanly scary but i feel like i have to quit at least for now for many reasons, one of them is intensifying spiritual growth. @modmyth Very complicated to explain, with my hobby comes alot of pressure of expansion and negative enviroment where i have to practice, i am very unsure if i have the mental stability to work absolutely boring and meaningless 8 to 20 job, while living in a negative enviroment where i am put down to practice music and then made fun of what kind of idiot you are playing some music i don't like and if i don't practice i get the same treatment anyway, and i don't want to fall into various traps of making music to impress people or to compete or to prove somebody wrong, this is a time bomb which can destroy me, i really have the creative potential but the projects i am planning to do require an enormous amount of work for very few people, and to do that i don't just have to study music, ofc i have to relearn microtonal music + sound production, have to invest 4000 euros at least for the hardware and what not and since i live in apt i can do it with headphones but i will get constant negativity, trashtalking from neighbours, even family members, they will distract me and what not, and its so easy to destroy this subtle artistry from negative feedback. And lets be very honest, my personal shit is not important as me being a calming presence not only in my area but the whole world in a subtle way, to really fix my life in various aspects including making seeking very turbulent, i am sure my music is not as important as me being an activist AND enlightenment is not the end, if i reach it and feel i need to do music, i will come back, i can be such a tryhard. I can give many many more examples, even sweeping all my patterns including my passions for certain amount of time, even if i come back will really see if i want it in the first place and will augment my clarity about what i do in the day e,c,t,, better state of being. e.c.t. e.c.t.
  21. I have had an experience of void sober, many times but not much more than that. Its like a micro glimpse as far as i underestand but it hapoens from time to time.
  22. @Svartsaft How about acctually meditating for a few years and seeing what it does.
  23. @Bridge to Infinity Thats a pretty normal reaction, starting from 0, i did have alot of weird beliefs, they clear up and constantly change.
  24. Whatever you decide to do, i advise you to watch sadhgurus video where he talks about why breakup hurts so much, and for me it personally gave some hints to my blindspots, especially with attachment and becoming delusional in a sense that i somehow expect that a woman already wants me or will act in a certain way, or has a good impression if me which is just not true in action, and if you decide to break away you know your impressions and even the memory in your body from her will pull you back, and suffering is kinda inevitable, but that being said people make mistakes, but only an x amount of times or x intensity for individual in question, however it is very bad investment if it turns out that she didn't change, and suppose you get together and still your sense of betrayal, deep hatred from this event and maybe even her attitude subtly changes and she just cares less about you. I don't know your situation nor i am experienced with romantic relationships but i am a strong loner and i wanted to give my view, i wish the best for you.
  25. Self-development work + ignoring the fact they even exist.