Applegarden

@LfcCharlie4 I think you will enjoy Starcraft II campagins if you are into RTS, if i get a better PC i am gonna do all 3. Really mindful story with alot of outer space/time and creation/creator interplay in the story and its so well made, i can really appreciate! It kinds did open some questions in my mind about aliens, reality itself and so many other things. How future technologies could be and so on!

Gitar, many gitars with alot of strings and frets and with distortion. Sitting and relaxing by yourself is acctuslly good entertainment for me. Also this is a very tricky topic, because context, depth and amount of time and circumstances are in play, in order to give you answer as well as frogetfulness and compulsiveness play a role.

@Fenir first of all - my life for aiur and secondly, test meditation out for a good year and see what exactly it does for you. Edit: en taro Tassadar.

@Leo Gura I am so happy for you! I know one day you will go all the way!

Just an idea, i want to try this myself!

I have recieved transmissions, idk if it was reiki, however i have heard of the dangers of getting your spine touched or its bones relocated.

I think you are projecting, you have bias aginst him expressing himself, so now he has to fit your idea of an awakened being and god forbid he does psychedelics which were done in the past and even now in the form of crazy ayhuasca trip.

Life purpose, dreamboarding, journaling, underestanding what you really want and increase the hours of wakefulness, you will not be able to stand the dillemma for long.

I def had some shifts in time while i was meditating, however i feel it happens rare. Like i lose the sense of time and hour passes in few minutes.

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you! The guitar work is still in progress, somehow slowly going. x)

I would like to throw few cents into here, yeah the heart center is a tricky thing. Especially with this notion of attraction, fantasy and love thing and also wanting to enjoy the creation as a limited being. I know there is some intuintive sense of my left side of heart center i have noticed. Something is there. Its like a chord with some other people i fancy i guess and i can feel how they are feeling. If i get too intense in my spiritual practice and start dropping things then that region really hurts, like a pain of breakup, like a pain of seperation is there. And this very focus on that region and fantasies blocks my throat chakra, so i am very eager to drop these fantasies to an extent i can, last night i before i went to sleep i relaxed so totally from that tought current also i could feel like life is a dream so solidly and from within my pineal gland becoame so active i tought i am going to have some kundalini awakening or something. But then i fell asleep. I know i feel intense love and admiration from somebody, but i don't know who. Idk the whole human interaction even in the energy level is interesting, they potray one picture, feel the other and think the third thing. But what you said is true, its a waste of energy and time to entertain things like that i totally agree. And these fantasies will become stronger and stronger, yeah, no wonder why some people just cant let go of somebody they fancied. And you tend to think about these people too constantly, sometimes if they focus on me, their picture projects in my head. It feels like they are thinking about me. But again, all of this is nonsense, and just another trap, the feelz trap. You look at somebody, you like what you see, now you want to take them somewhere, you discover some segment of peolpe react blissfully inside you so you know they are hiding their feelings for various reasons. Anyhow, what if there is substance to it and what if this is an illusion and its time to put in a basket of other illusions.

Ok, i will try to explain the experience "towards" it and embodying more and more over time in short. There is a space in you which is conceptualized as enlightenment or in a certain context you could say there this is wrong because you are beyond spaces, states and words and therefore it leads you towards that "space" or "state". You are before words and before creation and blah, blah, blah... So in my direct experience what i am noticing as i am growing is that, chakras are actual energy points, there is such a thing as energy flowing trough you and upwards you when you do spiritual practices. My energies are becoming more dominant upstairs, in the upper head region, i feel like i have a heavy, vital chord of bliss attached to me, like i am plugged into an internet from top of my head. I feel intense peace, sielence and not wanting anything also, feeling more and more complete with my death, with my timed life in this body. I find easier to detach from things and accept reality as it is. (If you read my journal, you will see that i maybe the opposite is true, however if i turn my attention to that recognition, that renounciation, that decision of "ok now, lets drop everything, let everything come and go, just notice it and do nothing else, if you are distracted, notice and just relax, come back") This "space" has a very specific and hard to find for beginners spot where it unfolds, i don't even know if you have to look for it, its really subtle and hard to explain, however with continiouty of practice and desire of truth this spot becomes your second nature more and more for you, you can access ir faster, more intensly and for longer periods of time and gradualy your cognition changes towards the metaphysical, which again directly reinforces the change in your energy more and more. More and more you feel this is a dream for you, more and more ecstatic you will become. Also when i close my eyes, i see that very darkness being infinite sometimes and i can't even locate my body sometimes, i feel like my senses are failing me and i don't know how much space i am taking but this is rare, however it happens more and more frequently. I don't remember having big enlightenment experiences, however what i have is very accessible and reliable day to day even with my "problems". I don't know how reliable it is for psychedelics users but my thing is very reliable as i am always sober, and i clearly see the sophistication of my cognition and how life is acctually sentient and how minds influence lessens over time, but i took me a few years. Hope it helps, i don't know how you should take this tho.

Am I Enlightened? As far as i underestand, no, just in case you are curious but... something spicy and alien to me has been happening over the few years and especially recent period, the past few months in my life. The moment i choose to be aware of it, its like my reality changes... More and more, i am not saying its much, i don't even know if it is much and how much there is left... But i know, its inevitable, it is waiting for me to look into it, but in the process there will be no tangible me left.

@turtleneck never had a dating app or profile, can't say i feel missing out on that... Howerer i regret being on social media for the most part because you are tricked into the idea that you have to stand out and show the best of your life for likes or smth. Thats the most comformist and ordinary thing most of the people try to do there, ironically. Pictures with some smart quotes e.c.t. i mean with that. All kinds of qoutes in general, look at me i, i am smart, i post some content on my feed and the gossips... Total waste of time, and its also engineered in a way to be addictive.

@Amer Noting wrong with being more feminine as a man, because women are still attracted by that, if they really catch you being that way. Especially in this masculine economy and mindset people laregly have, this is highly anticipated and missed! Somebody will appreciate your support, shoilder to place their head on and talk about their feeling. I would rather suggest trying one thing, exploring your feminine side, see what lies in there, organize, do some meditation/emotional work, see the common trends with people, let your artistic side flow! Yes, we might seem needy in general as the products of the enviroment, emotional work will help you with that.

Yes, there are plenty more indeed, my friend.

@Zak I can play video games for 12 hours and play guitar for 5 sometimes, however both are a waste of time, sure. Playing guitar feels much more rewarding, meanwhile playing multiplayer games can be really fun, intense and hard, so it can be appreciated. Meanwhile, everything that is used as a distraction to not look in and face every emotion, tought, sensation, feeling as it is or using other methods to do enlightenment work, is a waste of time. You still need to do some survival actions to keep the money rolling.

@Raptorsin7 At least they offer you a different perspective to look at your life, for example, love life, and they are pro intuition, however its a complicated and slippery thing when mixed with mind and emotion. As far as i have heard, hindus used astrology to predict what kind of lifestyle, what they should be in life in order to achieve enlightenment the easiest way. What karmic tendencies they have, do they are more into taste, feeling or sound or view and so on.

And reality TV dating shows e.c.t.

@Esoteric Sure, i will take your word for it. I don't think i have a tangible position to argue about it as i am not familliar with is, but i know there just is such a thing.

Yes, we choose to label it that, isn't that how axioms work? Majority (51 of 100 people) agrees that table is should be called table, so we call tables tables.

Don't make me pull Jordan Peterson on you, sir (yes, i also did just assume your gender).

Whatever you decide to do, dynamic activity is the only viable solution as i see. The fact that there is a such a thing as Actualized forum, where you can go and ask such a thing is because Leo's dynamic constant activity and intention to be active, sharing and passion about the truth and good for people around him. Use the pressure as a fuel to change, if you can, but first, you will need to find what works for you! It is always a combination of things with some universal guidlines like healthy food, tight sleep cycle, spending some time without entertainment at all e.c.t. I used to feel the same as you in the school system and soon it will be over for me and i underestand that the real studying, if you want to take your life somewhat into your hands, is only beginning for you. Researching about lifestyle change is what i would do and picking up a meditation habit first. You need more clarity to even consider taking some pro-life future decisions, otherwise there is only suffering awaiting you behind every procrastination and misintegrity. It is such a complex thing, yet you can make it so that its reliable enough for you to enjoy your life and contribute in a meaningful way.

@mandyjw When you become aware of certain judgement or emotional reaction to your toughts or the toughts of others, just notice it as it is. No need to ovething, it does not serve what you really are, so why entertain it by responding? Just notice and thats it. Every time i get rejected by somebody i just notice the reactions happening within me and the most of possible entanglements just disappear, as nothing much or nothing even happened. Or look this way, i will use me as an example. Every judgement by me is incomplete. How can my judgement have value if the identities of me and other people are changing real-time and there is large amount of factors why people are the way they are and how sophisticated and complicated they are, there is no need to go in front of and fight an unstoppable force, just don't go in front of it, you are not standing in its way already as the reactions pop up, however choosing to entertain and respond to them is what is stepping in front of it. I usually find hillarious when people have an argument like who did it (something bad) and they assume it was you and after they bursted out on you they find out it was not you and now they have no substance anymore to attack you (suppose they tought i broke their window but maybe it was some flying object because it fell from somewhere, by accident with no person involved i mean), or when they try to be a constant victim and can't convince anybody anymore that they are a victim and has to take responsibility for something in their life (for their violence, bullying, criminal activity, misintegrity or irresponsibly or hypocrisy, whatever). The anger was because there was an excuse to allow that person to be angry. When there is no more of that it is so funny, the 180 degree change in behaviour, confusion, powerlesness and of the massive hypocrisy of them they don't want to be exposed to, sometimes they start smiling laughing at themselves (which they just couldn't hide) because they know they are bsing.

I found that this is my experience also, most of what i have consistently dreamt of has happened even with the negative enviroment. Life is sentient, it listens to you, if you self-improve, everything just accelerated untill you become the tree of wishes for everybody around you.