Applegarden

@Dutch guy many reasons why you would want to transcend. Sexually induced guilt, many delusions of wanting to chase people, that are maybe unreasobale or even wanting to cheat or become an addict of that and it activates many identities and lusts into web of delusions and may want to make big life decisions you didn't acctally want, because every life decision has it side effects and underlying situations you now have to face that nobody told you about. If you transcend it, you are free, there like one big relief and less trigger for you, now you don't have to go trough a hormonally induced cycle of lust to pleasure yourself and call yourself "happy". Breaking that is so much more cost effective. For example i open a discover section on instagram and look at all those artifically enhanced photos of like top of the women there and it doesn't turn me on because i see its just a body, altho sometimes it does, but IT'S SO RELIEVING BECAUSE ITS SO MUCH LESS. And your sexual desire will be used in relationships to get out somthing from you. And it can be a major reason for your divorce. And besides, do you really want to be a meninizer/womenizer, to chase, chase and chase, you ill get into so many situations nobody told you about (oh and it may save you tons of your HARD earned money, and time to do what acctually matters to you). Just my opinion, don't base your life around it. Ohh on my nofap journey mental clarity, stability and long term desire recognition increases enormously. Now i care less of what somebody thinks of me but when i do jerk off, suddely i feel like i have to potray my self in a way to be desired in some uncoscious manner.

@PenguinPablo if you don't go to prison or burn out or whatever tragedy you can get yourself into for the wrong reason.

@Leo Gura i mean sure, repression will not work and has not worked for me, letting your mindsets constantly die and openess to life will erode your lusts greatly. I am for unclutching from it, not attending, just seeing it coming and going, not really labeling it as bad or wrong and then fighting it. Who has time for sex if one genuinely seeks the truth in life?

@Vipassana Very cool to hear your feedback. I am currently meditating far less than you, however i want to up my time up to 2 hours. I started today, did almost 1 hr 10 min uninteruptudly and did 1 hr 40 min total. Strange, i cant say i did have mystical experiences but i do have unusual things happening to me, for example there is huge amount of energy channeling in and out my swadishtana and manipuraka. It is so much bliss there that i want to move instantly. I have constant expansion and contraction experiences altho very little and energies spike in my sahasrara. Nothing other than that i have. But i dont just sit i also center my mind on enernal truths that i feel subjectivly are true for me like if i am aware of this now, i always have been and always will be. This will go forever or no matter how i feel, wether i know or not i am Mahadeva or who am i e.c.t. and since i have done nirbaya dhyaan my swadishtana projects alot of intensity and bliss so suddenly it feels like there is so much depth to me. Prior to that i had a awakening experience in my work i guess, but it was nothing i have read anywhere. It was not feeling some infinite love, maybe a little bit or having no boundary, but there was like insane levels of emotional relief and i felt like somebody else is laughing trough me, i was just pressing this emotion and it just constantly made me laugh. Its like laughing from nothingness. It was so relaxing and at the same time very intense. It really felt like nothing matters and this is a dream. I didnt underestand wether i cried from gratitude or laughed to tears.

I would like to introduce a very interesting point. I think about 30 mins to 45 mins about sex maybe an hour in a day where i masturbated or after the day i masturbated where as if i did a solid hour of meditation or other kind of enlightenment work, i thought about sex for 5-10. And its kinda kinetic and visual projection anyways so even if i am biologically speaking horny, i instantly think that i don't want my life to be penis oriented, and that turns me off almost instantly for good. But even if i tought about sex for en hour, thats 23 when i am not thinking avout sex. And sex consist maybe like 0. % of your life. Yet we are so drawn to it. just look at the numbers and drop it for once, let thpse energies find expression upwards...

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Hey guys! I have been on this forum for a good while and its been fun and okay, however i don't feel that this forum is helping me and has become another entertainment. To argue with people, get validation and so on... I don't feel like i have anything much to express, because i am the question of my life. This is becoming so important for me that i want to quit MANY MANY forms of entertainment, the moment i graduate university, however i will continune to play instruments, maybe more of them. My life is in absolute uncertainty, i have a vision, however i feel like i have too little time to comment here or even write my journal. It just feels uneccesary. I have less interest in the opposite sex, expressing myself and running for something like validation. Of course its on a spectrum, but it has decreased tremendously over the past few months. I feel in completion and i feel like i have alot to discover. In the universe and music itself. I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more. I feel like i wanted to share this if i go soon. Thank you Leo, the Actualized.org forum staff!

@Pacific Sage I personally have had deleted accounts on social media (especially facebook) for like 10 on an off and now i just dont go there after a long while! So it is a success. It was like battling an addiction. U have yt and insta left, but i want to use it for posting music and interacting with musicians. I will leave it at there, no need to apologize. All the best to you too!

Because i wanted to share what i wanted to share for whatever reason. Yes, whats wrong with being on the forum while having toughts about leaving the forum besides that. Are you calling me out on attention need? Well you pointed a basic hypocrisy and an obvious flaw in my logic, which i kinda already adressed, and adressed the nature of it. You do realize that if you deleted your facebook if you have one, you would still search for the website some time after. How many times you made resolutions and did not fullfill them? Do you see the broader problem. However i can assure i might be gone from here in the near future. I would also look at your need to call me out on this. I saw one good point on this htread. And that is being too logical and rational with people, which is the problem i personally have, and it goes in hand with taking life too seriously. And our cognition consists of less than 50% of logic and rationalistic notions, with excersising spiritual aspects this goes far far down. I don't know why i am even bothering but i hope it answers your question.xD I see your desire to pull my strings a bit an argue with me, thats ok tho. x) I think i already covered this.

Thank you, i wish the best for you! Me too, i will keep watching Leo's videos, however i always happened to live in a way that my sense of community was disrupted in some way. So i sat alone or my entertainment happened trought being alone or internet, and i don't feel like an actualizer or anything. Because of meditation i can say people around me don't mean much to me, its not that i don't care for them, but i don't have to worry about somebody every 5 minutes. And i simply don't have enough time, my future reeks 12 hour shifts and working on days off, and i have to do maintainance work in my house + spiritual sadhana and the last thing i want to do music. There is no room for anything else. Yes, that is a good point aswell, have to face it in the most direct way possible, even in a strong determination sitting session. And my failures and sufferings only really can be adressed with inner work. The side effect of this may be that i become like a monk, almost like anti-social, but its beginning to happen for me, even with the junk i keep consuming in terms of the media and food. The effect still is great. And besides, if you feel something really unusual like energies centering in your upper most chakras, all i kinda want to do is to sit with that and make maximum amount of free time to do it. Its not so much about the critics, its about the efficiency to make my points across, which is largely just doing it for entertainemnt. I catch a topic and then spontaneously write. And as i mentioned earlier i am having too little time. My life has been counter-productive and inefficient logically speaking, but life being rational or irrational is whole different topic. And i wanted to share why would i leave the forum and this is my way on saying thanks to people and Leo. But yes it is counter-productive to stay here as well as many many other forms ofdistraction from enlightenment including music. Also the other good question is ask my-self, what is the value of me being a hypocrite or a liar, it boils down to the validation and seeking it. We are just bound to lie, manipulate, procrastinate and ruin our dreams, because o the layers and layers of delusion we carry. If you attend those layers, self-development can happen, but it's always a spectrum. Leving this forum would leave me with more mental energy. For example writing a journal for 1hr a day is not what i want to do, it was kinda helpful, but i already know better methods for what i want to achieve. 1. I am always going to be exposed to interract with people - friends, enemies, critics, validation seekers, women that are interested in me and women that want to shame me and what ever other example i can give. The best thing i can do is to work on myself to be the calming presence and a ray of joy in their life from my bliss that i express. I don't need any complicted mating strategy and algorithm to express my image i want people to percieve. If i face conflict or anything i will just stay in awareness and remind myself to do that. In my life this is happening far enough. I don't want to argue here also. x) 2. This is a tricky one. Yes, but sometimes i wonder, whats the point of giving attention to the mind every 5 seconds, and i have had experiences that tell me you don't need to have voices in your head to use your mind. I clearly am not there yet and by some chance or maybe something more sentient i will be there someday. 3. Yes, but i rather go and talk to the people in my life that i feel i need it. They are very scarce, however at least one person i know and i introduced them in spirituality, they transformed and increased their level of happiness and completion with death. And yeah, text is tough. And i might need to help myself first to be a quality helper. 4.I will, and i love this side of Leo, and i listen to various crazy gurus, the far of the "rational and logical person" that are far out there, further than Leo with what they claim. But their teachings really help me. Besides, the human cognition is very complicated and in a dire need to explore, AND while excercising these other aspects of me, i have to be careful with what advice i give, the best way is sielence i feel, however i feel people drawn to my bliss. I had major social anxiety a few years back from the opposite sex, now its almost completely gone or if i have it i don't think i care. Because my goal is not to take anybody home and ask them if i can stick it in them. Thank you guys for your responses and warmth! Good luck on your paths, may you be a jeevan muktha. @hyruga well i have a bunch of other things i want to do besides that, the best thing i can do is to work on my fear of death. And looking at the impermanence of this earthly existence. I have always lived in my room for the most part when i am not in school or work. There is like no change for me.

@Nightwise One thing i can tell, you are def into metal! x)

@Lento noooooo, this is a realm of too many delusions for a chance if truth and is super expensive. Therapist all the way. Love readings is one of the subtlest scam, you mainly do it to entertain ideas.

@Raptorsin7 Video games are fun and have taken all over my life fora good while, however this just doesn't resonate with me at all, however i appreciate breaking the family narrative and thinking for yourself, however now you really have to deal with yourself, every day, finding and going to work you will probably hate for a long while. This will feel nervebreaking, but i guess you can do it if you have the vision. However this conscious gameplay, if i can be honest, i don't feel like this is a good idea, but thats just my opinion. It almost feels like you would suggest to somebody consciously watching TV and somehow lead them into enlightenment experience. This feels very slippery and not necessary thing we need right now in our age to solve the worlds problems and to make them happy (maybe you do cause happiness in a lmited way, but this might promote people escaping other areas of life and retreating back to video games). I will be real here, i only play video games to escape intensity from life, and i have been dluding myself for such a long time -- masking it as some life purpose to make gaming videos. Sure look at pewdiepie and so on... they did it, but just because escapism is the trend. In my opinion shallow humor and memes are the trend i am guilty off. I find really really hard to cognize spirituality with gaming because there are alot of people playing games mainly to escape some area in their life. Their actual talents are different and mainly spirituality revolves around either renouncing the pleasures, people and places or while enjoying them renouncing the identities. If i feel intense enough, i will just quit and do what really makes me blissful and that is music. This is hard to talk about because gaming can be as delusional as pursuing music, however i have noticed so many actual pro-life things with music and intensly researching it that gaming doesn't have as far as my experience tells. I have spent 15000-20000 hours in front of a computer screen. Playing guitar alone or any other musical instrument and knowing something new every day is way better tool to underestanding life and snjoying the play of life rather than streaming and it becoming extremely mundane and predictable. Hey man all the best wishes, i just want to leave this there for a grain of tought. I am in no position to be right, but i feel sincere into putting my honest opinion man.

@Heyyyyyy So your revolutionary statement about you assuming me being Leo's puppet ended with an ad-homonym attack. Strange.

Ok just one more answer... why does one need to actualize determinism and can it be actualized? Is the philosophy of determinism a realible model? What if life is not predestined, what if its both. I get that you are approaching non-dual realms of cognition. And yet neither you can really express it by using logic or understand it by logic alone aswell. I honestly don't underestand the context of the question. What are you asking me? How to get eblightened? What happens after death? What is the best thing to do in life? Do you really want to contemplate on my answer?

@Heyyyyyy yeah, nice philosophy... you are farm from actualizing what you say. Suppose when you are facing trials for in your behaviour in your life you cant think anything other than that is bad and that other status is more comfortable. I don't know what to tell you, i don't feel triggered by what you said, and you just generalized/assumed too many things about me. Just like me, yes, just like everyone. I mean your pretentions wokeness doesn't work. Its like bragging how spiritual you are and how unspiritual am i. Sure i don't know what level of awareness you have, but i can see your contradiction in you that you dont live by what you say. Nothing is good or bad... unless i don't want to experience this suffering or want to experience this pleasure so badly. Or want these things so badly. Or not be homeless. Or not be accused as a pedophile or thing like that. Ooh... then something is bad and everything is wrong. Your and my comforts reeks misintegrity to this statement.

It is pathetic and laughable that you think you will win anything with projecting your hatred for life trough these little insults. Its such a poor attempt also its comical. Did you gain anything besides my attention? remember you are insulting yourself daily with this mindset and breaking relationships in your life, i can guarantee.

Absolutely nothing, i would give my younger self a darshan so he could feel it and think about what it was.

Meditation and yoga CAN hurt you, especially kriya yoga. Especially things lile yogasanas. You have to be really delicate about what you focus on when you do this and exactly what it is that you do. Anybow you would additionally follow up on food and do something like bhuta shuddi. Otherwise if you channel energies when your energy system and body is not prepeared, you will get a chronic aliment as a guarantee. Reiki is also considered dangerous for this reason Good thing is most people quit yoga after a while and there are not many reiki practitioners who can really intensly work on your energies. Thats why the damage in most cases may not be too big. Peace! I would suggest looking at your food first and cheking your stomach to the doctor.

@electroBeam Sages always run the risk of Jail and especually defamation that leads to imprisonment. They are on the frontline. With gatherings of people there is bound to be corrouption and conflict.

Yes, i am finding this to be true for me too!

Meditation is not just sitting for 1 hour! I will come after work and share many meditation techniques with deal with more subtler things than just repressed emotions, however they are quite intense that you will physically want to move. Anyhow my meditation experience is completely different! It pulled me from within and my cognition of life is so much more open, some of the patterns just fall off as the rest of them weaken. In would ask you how many meditations and types have ylu tried/know? If its only sitting for some time with your eyes closed, can you accurately say what it js about?

Welcome to the forum! Very happy to hear you expressing happiness!