Sanyikas

Hey guys, hope you are doing well. I'm 23 and I had to broke up with my girlfriend, she was 31. We have been together for only 2 months, and it all started as just having sex,but it got more serious quickly, we were colleagues, but things escalated really fast and we were living basically together at my place, then she had to change her job and she had to move. That's where things started to go wrong, because I didn't wanted to move and quit my job, so quick. I really enjoyed her being emotionally mature and the way she had this ability to see through some bullshit I was doing. We had nice conversations, amazing connection and sex. It helped me realize things about myself, mainly how selfish I can be and in some cases even narcissistic. However, when I met her I was feeling good about myself and I was about to get really focused on my life purpose, but when I started to spend more time with her it slowly turned into constant stress and worry. I started to doubt myself and my confidence started to get lost. Everything started to be about the relationship and how to make it work. Which I had to admit is never going to work because I was not feeling like going after her, and I'm not at the stage of starting a family, which she really wants in the next couple of years. And all this just brought incompatibility issues, because we can't be on the same page in terms of our future, so I had to let her go. Which was not easy. Now I'm feeling extremely tired and exhausted all the time. It's like I'm sleepwalking through life. I don't find joy socializing at the moment, or being around other people at all. Do you guys have any advice how I could push through this? I feel like all of it was a catalyst for me to get more serious about my life, but I can't seem to find the power to start it. I just had no one to share my feelings in my surroundings. So I appreciate it. ❤️

Looking younger than you actually are should be a blessing imo. Do you often feel like you have to worry about what people think about your appearance?

When I was 15 I started going to clubs with friends, got piss drunk, had no success, no wonder, it took me 2 years even just to kiss a random girl, haha, but somehow this way I learned not to be afraid of rejections, and I was always just escalating smoothly, by touching her slightly and dancing with her if she's reacting well to it. I wouldn't advise getting drunk anymore at all, I rarely drink, but in certain settings, I know many people prefer it. If you go to parties where you actually love the music, the type of crowd, it's much easier, I couldn't pull anyone in a heavy metal setting, since I have no clue how to have fun to that music, I love techno, but it's not the perfect environment for pulling girls, mostly EDM or something casual is the easiest way to go, but it still really boils down to what you can enjoy the most. You get in the mood for dancing, and then just look out for slight signals, eye contact, but since girls will be mostly tipsy at least, they will accept your approach much better if you can read the situation well, and be gentle. Eye contact and smile is #1. When you kissed her, which I think doesn't take too long, mostly starting to open her up by kissing her neck, or cheek, then it's an easy way, to escalate further and slowly start touching her in a more sexual way So what kind of music do you like which bursts your soul to dance and puts you in a feel-good state? Why do you feel like you suck at this, where do you feel like you can't break through?

I think she didn't get back to my place mostly because of the distance and she didn't want to leave her girlfriend behind alone, as they both lived far, that's probably the main reason, so I agree with Leo here, the logistics weren't the best. I don't believe anything bad about myself because she didn't sleep with me, it just started a process in me, that I need to develop, and I started to ask myself why I fucked it up and how to do better next time. That's actually a major point too. I was raised by my mom, never really had a strong father figure in my life, and I haven't fully developed a masculine frame yet, to be honest, I don't even know how what it means to hold a true masculine frame. Of course, it's easy to do it with women who I don't feel so highly attracted to, but when it comes to really attractive women to me, I can lose it and feel like I have to make them like me and I lose my ability to be so powerful. You are right, that's why it left me so confused the next day because the initial opening was one of the strongest in my life, laser eyeing her from across the club and as I rushed through the crowd and we were kissing instantly etc. Obviously, I understand this whole situation more clearly now. I learned a lot from this experience already. At the club we were talking about meeting another time in the future, she still replies to my texts, but I don't text her too often, as I see she's not soo interested, I just leave it open, and maybe one day she'll be open for some more.

Never thought about it this way before, I was only going out and whatever happens happens. I just always felt like if I go out to get girls it's a bit forced and doesn't seem natural. I always went out with friends, which in this case sabotaged it all,because you can't just leave your friends behind and disappear everytime, obviously depends on my circles but some of my friends I always have to watch out. At the same time I never went out alone to get girls and get laid. So is it a better approach to do it alone this way?

Hard truths! Next time I will set better intentions and plan better. I had much fun anyway,which was my main goal and it was easily in Top3 of my night outs.

Yeah probably that's what I haven't understood. Ahhaa moment ? Well, the party was in a city and we were both living in different cities where the party was, I asked her to come with me but she was with her gf going home, it all got difficult at the end, got really tired too and I thought maybe I could see her another time, I guess I was wrong. But thanks Leo, your advice was really helpful to me. It's not this exact context of last night which was important, rather the meta game which I didn't fully got.

Hey guys! Soo most girls I actually like and would like to hang out with, I start off really well in person, then they start to lose interest in me. The only thing I could think of is that I might be too available and might still show some neediness. Last night I went out clubbing after 1.5 years, I pulled a really sweet and hot girl easily, we were kissing and danced till the morning, we were together all night, but after the night we split up and went home, and I was feeling like she's losing interest. I'd like to see her again, but through text, it seems like she's not so interested anymore. It just happened to me many times, that I find girls who I'm really attracted to and somehow I can't make it work, and I want to figure out exactly why is it happening. Another reason might be, that I work abroad but I visit home regularly (every 2-3 months for 2 weeks or 1 month) and they just can't take me seriously this way. Honestly, I have no idea. I'd appreciate any advice!