Insightful27

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Posts posted by Insightful27

  1. Posted

    Recently, I've been interested in unwiring the need for socializing because I think that it is reducing my happiness and holding me back. Logistically, it is hard to find people who share the same values and interests as I do. In my mind, the ideal situation is that I would be totally content with myself at home working on my Life Purpose, but in reality, that very quickly leads to loneliness and boredom. I know people who have such a low tolerance for socializing that they can do exactly what I just described, and I am wondering if any of you have found a way to grow this ability and not be lonely while being alone. It is easier to be happy when you don't have desires and needs, like socializing. Even though this seems like a personality problem, I'm hoping there is a solution. 

     

    A couple of caveats to get out of the way: 

    -Yes, I understand that socializing is an important part of life, and I'm not talking about isolating myself or abandoning social life

    -The word "need" is significant; I want to relinquish the "need" for socializing in the same way one might relinquish the "need" for approval

    -I understand that we are social animals, but in all other aspects of our "animal" nature, we seem to be okay attempting to unwire those desires. Why can't we do the same for socialization? 

     

  3. Posted

    There is no need to feel anxious about having the ability to get excited to do a lot of things, and it really is a blessing. As for what I would practically do, try as many of those things as you can, even on a surface level. I am also full-time in college right now, and my goal is to build up as much life experience as I can while also doing well in school. Over time, you will naturally feel into what you would rather spend your time doing and the problem should fix itself, you just need to get more experience in all the things that you talked about.

     

  11. Posted

    After watching Leo's video about exposing yourself to more life experience, I have decided to dedicate 2024 to gaining as much new life experience as I can. For context, I am an 18-year-old college student in the US. What kind of experience can I expose myself to that will grow me the most? Here is what I have started.

    - 10-day vipassana meditation retreat

    - Study abroad next spring

    - Solo backpacking trip

     

    Open to any and all suggestions, let em fly!

     

  13. Posted

    4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

    what she'll do is she'll have sex to 'please you', then she'll regret it, resent you and falsely accuse you. 

     

    4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

    ou will have to ascertain that she's smart and she can stand up for herself

    Solid points. I just don't think I would be able to get to know her enough to figure these things out 100%. I think that screening is helpful though, especially for the girls who will can't stand up for themselves. 

  15. Posted

    The #1 reason that I feel like pickup is gate-kept from me is that I don't drink or do drugs socially, and I am worried that if I have sex/escalate with a girl in that setting while she has been drinking (not seriously drunk) then she the power over me to claim that she wasn't able to consent even if she did. All it would take was her having regrets or her being angry with me for her to seriously damage my reputation and career. Also, there is a serious social stigma against me engaging with a girl who is drinking when I am clearly not. How do you guys navigate this? 

  17. Posted

    20 hours ago, aurum said:

    @Insightful27

    Best best is to hunt for the highest quality sources you can find and then test your own levels.

    If some ambitious entrepreneur on this forum wants to invent an at home testing kit for heavy metals in your supplements, that be rad. 

    Thanks for the reply. Do you know if something like a multivitamin is more likely to have heavy metals than other supplements? 

  20. Posted · Edited by Insightful27

    Are there certain inherent limits to self improvement?
     

    Using the video game analogy, you only have so many skill points and so to improve yourself more at one thing you will have to trade off other aspects of yourself.

    ex. In order to be more extroverted and outgoing you will have to trade off being able to spend long periods of time in solitude and deep work.

  24. Posted

    I have a hangup regarding having a girlfriend that has had sex with other people before me. Logically I know that it is stupid and it shouldn't matter, but when I think about another guy "having" my girl it makes my stomach twist. Selfishly, I want the only person they have that intimate experience with to be me. It's especially bad thinking of my ex with other guys.

    Any advice on how to move past this? I kind of think I just need to work on my view of female sexuality. 

  25. Posted

    On 7/18/2023 at 7:51 PM, SamC said:

    I think the reason might be because of my exsessive porn use and masturbation where Ive come to a point I cant relate to woman in a healthy sexual way. 

    Not sure why nobody commented on this so I will.

    I had the same exact problem you are talking about, and it all went away when I stopped watching porn. Masturbating to porn over and over again will absolutely damage your sexuality. I can almost guarantee if you stop you will be able to cum way easier with a real partner.