TamaraD

Eh I would always be careful with that.

*Eckhart Tolle* *Deepak Chopra* Dalai Lama Wayne Dyer Bruce Lipton

I tried but the other person doesnt want a connection and feels fine with it and also added that with the other siblings the connection was good. That we dont have to get along. This might be true but it seems out of proportion. I cant do anything good it seems. Difficult to cope with. Doesnt really talk to me but to other family members. Perception got stuck overtime in extreme annoyance and I cant change it, even when I take into account what might have been annoying from my part. Is it my ego or my heart when this really hurts? I feel left out, but its not only a feeling, its also the reality. Tolle says "give them you attention, listen" etc "go beyond the ego and conceptual mind" etc. Leo gura says "cut them out of your life". Its just not always possible. Even when you avoid more contact then needed, any encounter is stressful. Also sibling has some problems and possibly I confront but not on purpose with some things. I am at a point where I am scared to begin this conversation. Conversation about reconnecting will not be welcomed I think. Only new annoyance.

What do you mean by the wrong reason? I think pursuing enlightment because of deep suffering and being desperate, always stuck and attached is a very normal reason. What other reasons are there? But you have to be very conscious: only 24 hrs in a day, a lot of distractions that will try to make you unconscious etc. Sometimes I get the impression that our limited brains are forgotten: they really are a weakness, though they also can really be the opposite: our strength. But we have to be very aware and conscious. Not so simple.

Really interesting answer, Nahm.

When its close family, its difficult to cut them out of your life. How do you do that when its a sibling? Not jealousy but annoyance. And I still want to be accepted and loved by this sibling because we were so so close. We both must have done wrong things, but talking about it seems impossible. How do you deal with them at an encounter like a dinner or more difficult situation (an illness or crisis in the family) and they avoid you and only talk to the other siblings? Do I have to say sorry for all the wrong I did to this sibling or just say it internally? Its really hard. Ps i agree my ego is playing a big part. I just cant seem to love myself in this situation of severe rejection of my sibling with whom I was so so close and now I cant even have a good conversation with to let everything behind us. Wanting to connect with the sibling again, is that ego? Or my heart... I just would like to reconnect. We are not even 1 year in age difference. So grew up together really close. But now I only feel disapproval. Please can someone help or give some advice? Ps we are in our 40's now

Someone that doesnt want to talk it out with you, avoids you at encounters. Once so close, not anymore as adults. How do you cope? When the other doesnt want you, and you want to. When both did maybe annoying things, but it got out of proportion in perception and only the way things go in families. Consequence: avoidance from 1 party, the other suffers in silence or wants to reconnect but it doesnt work. The connection between the 2 parties and other siblings is ok, so the problem seems to be only between the both of you. No real fight (anymore), just some kind of avoidance, and rejection, no voluntary contact, only the obligated encounters. Ps lets say that a conversation about it is impossible: how do you cope? Especially with the hollidays coming. I think that a lot of people maybe recognize this.

Someone that doesnt want to talk it out with you, avoids you at encounters. Once so close, not anymore as adults. How do you cope? When the other doesnt want you, and you want to. When both did maybe annoying things, but it got out of proportion in perception and only the way things go in families. Consequence: avoidance from 1 party, the other suffers in silence or wants to reconnect but it doesnt work. The connection between the 2 parties and other siblings is ok, so the problem seems to be only between the both of you. No real fight (anymore), just some kind of avoidance, and rejection, no voluntary contact, only the obligated encounters. Ps lets say that a conversation about it is impossible: how do you cope? Especially with the hollidays coming. I think that a lot of people will recognize this.