Dumuzzi

You're 20. You literally need to grow up. The person you are growing into bears no relation to the person you are now. Trust the process of change and that you are becoming something more and better. Do not be impatient with yourself, what you need is self-love and self-acceptance, chill and giving yourself time.

That's a great point. Another one to keep in mind, is that we're living at the tail end of the Kali Yuga, when a lot less effort is required to achieve self-realisation than in previous epochs. I am coming across people who are having spontaneous awakenings without even trying. This is probably the best period to be alive in the whole of human history, if your goal is self-realisation.

@Matt8800 Thanks for those recommendations. I'll check them out. Kali did visit me once in her Mahakali form, though that was years ago. It is my understanding that there is only really one Goddess, in many forms. I have done the research on this and it seems that Inanna/Ishtar in ancient Mesopotamia was the original form of the Goddess, as far as the current iteration of our civilisation is concerned and her cult spread from there in all directions and she has been known under many different names in different parts of the world. Spreading West, she became Astarte, Aphrodite, then Venus. Later she was incorporated into Christianity as the Queen of Heaven, Shekinah and the Holy Spirit (as the dove Goddess Ishtar). Going East, she became Maa Durga (the link between Durga and Inanna is undeniable, especially with the warrior Goddess and Riding the lion/tiger symbolism), who in turn became known as Tara and later Quan Yin in Buddhism. Kali and Parvati are probably part of the same tradition. Although I agree that blind worship is not desirable and is disliked by the gods, there is in fact a link between Kundalini and Goddess Worship. I have been given Shaktipat by the Goddess herself and without her divine grace, I very much doubt that I would have been able to fully awaken and more importantly, to survive the process. This may sound rather esoteric, but I have built a personal relationship with her over the years, as well as some of the other gods. In a way, I like to think of it as friendship, but it goes well beyond that, they are family to me. As for Tantra, yes, that is the path I follow, though it is more or less by accident, or to be more precise, predestination. You could say that I fell into tantric practice accidentally, on the other hand I'm convinced, that this path was set out for me, even before I was born. There are many little details in my life that add up to this conclusion. Personally, I never felt the need to do any rituals. The gods come to me without any invocation, if I raise my Kundalini, I can access and interact with any of them. I have come to learn that they have a collective mind (Biblically, this is known as the Elohim) and they can either speak with one voice, or individually, as the situation requires it. However, I might try an invocation or two, just to see if it makes any difference. You are right about not allowing other people's perceptions and prejudices to cloud your own judgement. I have fallen into this trap before and I intend to avoid this in the future. I will have to meditate on this whole topic and seek divine guidance. I must say, I am very impressed by your posts and your philosophy really resonates with me. It is the first time I have met someone that interacts with deities on the same level as I do and actually knows what they're talking about. This really is a breath of fresh air.

@Matt8800 Great advice, thanks. I have also been working on building up my own personal power. Not quite sure what to do with it yet. I thought that maybe I should go out and help people, offer healings, energy transmissions, act as a go-between for people and connect them to deities, that sort of thing. Then I realised, this was to the detriment of my own personal development and it put a strain on the relationship between myself and higher beings. What I am starting to realise is that you can't really help others, the best you can do is show them how to help themselves. It is interesting that you should mention Gandhi. I grew up partly in India, but I also lived in the UK for a while. I always felt inspired by him. Apparently, his considerable powers of persuasion and concentration had a lot to do with him being a Sannyasin. He was transmuting his sexual energies to feed his Kundalini and allow him to serve a higher purpose. I am also at that stage, where all of my sexual energies are diverted and transmuted to feed my Kundalini, which awakened about 7 years ago, when it rose all the way to the top. I can now raise my Kundalini any time and keep it in the crown, which i use to interact with higher beings (my preference being ancient Mesopotamian, Buddhist and Hindu deities). I have also used this in the past for healing purposes or to draw a protective shield of fire around people who were harassed by lesser entities. I wonder what role Kundalini plays in your own practice, is there a particular way you utilise the serpent power to achieve your goals?

Globalism and nationalism are countervailing forces. The former benefits mostly the rich, so those that are the losers of globalisation tend to congregate towards the latter. You can see this in the US for instance, where those in urban areas vote mostly for Globalists (think Hillary Clinton) and those in rural areas vote for Nationalists (think Trump). This sort of divide is present in most countries in the world. It is interesting to look at how a rise in Nationalism led to Brexit and Trump. Enough people felt they were losing out from globalisation that they voted for Nationalist agendas. In the UK for instance, it is now widely believed that a rise in English Nationalism was the main factor behind Brexit, which in turn has led to an upturn in Scottish, (Northern) Irish and Welsh nationalism, putting the Union at risk. A lot of the anti-EU sentiment in places like France and Belgium is also a backlash against globalist policies.

Hi Matt, Great thread, haven't finished reading through it yet, but there is a wealth of information here. Turns out I'm actually an occultist, just didn't know it yet. I shall wear the label with pride from now on. Which brings me to the sensitive question of outside perceptions. Have you ever been persecuted for your beliefs, practices and associations? Reason I ask, is that I am involved in Tantra and work with the Anunnaki as well. I have found that the reception to that on more than one forum was outright hostile and in one case descended into a literal witch-hunt. I have been banished for life as a result. Interested to hear whether you fared better than me. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, that as a result of my above associations, I was also accused by some more paranoid individuals of being an MK Ultra asset controlled by a CIA handler, who was sent to infiltrate said forum. Can't even make this stuff up... I wonder how you handle such hostility and if you ever had to make a run for it, metaphorically speaking?

Yes. At the beginning of my Kundalini awakening, I practiced Urdhvareta, a tantric technique. Basically, it involves training your pelvic muscles (by clenching and releasing them multiple times a day, until they become stronger) so that before achieving orgasm, the so-called point of no return, you clench your muscles (the ones that are responsible for holding urine back) and you will experience a so-called dry orgasm. There will be a release of sex energy, but no ejaculation. You also need to train the muscles that hold back defecation, to basically close your sphincter shut, both physically and energetically (this is a basic and very important technique in tantra). If you do it right, you will have a dry orgasm, no ejaculation, sex energy will be released, it will turn around at the base of the spine and flow upwards. Ideally, this should be practiced by an open-minded partner. I was lucky at the time, as I was dating a Buddhist girl. There are many sexual benefits as you will find it much easier to stay hard and you can basically go as long as you want, which as you can imagine, your partner will really appreciate. Her repeated orgasms will also feed the energetic process, which is why a partner is highly recommended in this sort of tantric process. There is also a religious side to it, because your partner is playing the part of the Goddess, Shakti and you are playing the part of God, Shiva. The interplay of divine feminine and masculine energies is absolutely crucial here. It is generally recommended, that the woman is on top during this, whilst you stop your ejaculation, each time you get close. She will probably experience multiple orgasms. In my current state, Urdhvareta, the upflow of sexual energies as well as physical semen, transmutated, through the spinal fluid and into the Brain, is a permanent condition. As a result, I am no longer sexually active. However, this state can supposedly be reversed.

It is negativity, yes, but also just pure, unadulterated materialism. If all you care about are having sex with hot chicks and becoming rich, you are no better than the mass of humanity. Maybe it's an age thing too, but that's the vibe I get from a lot of young men (more like boys) here. That crass materialism and identification with the body is about as far away from true spirituality as you can get.

@John Doe I'm sorry to hear that you are so distressed. I have also walked into the trap of watching videos I should not have and I regretted it instantly. Unfortunately, we are primates and below even that thin veneer, basically cold-blooded reptiles. Our primitive minds enjoy suffering and gore, it appeals to our predatory instincts, buried deep in our subconscious, but always there, ready to strike. Do not be troubled by your momentary lapse of judgement, just understand why it happened and what ancient, instinctual process led you there. It was the cat in you, that enjoys playing with the mouse, despite its obvious suffering. That you feel guilty and troubled about it is actually a good sign. Your conscience, which is of God, is allowing you to move beyond your current level of consciousness and grow into a higher one. There are always growing pains that accompany this, so accept them and embrace them.

Enlightenment is just Chilllll.....

One gets confused when there are too many Ones in one sentence. One could say that one is perhaps a word that is used one too many times when talking about Oneness. How can one be the One when one can never see the ones from the Ones.

@VeganAwake Well put. I promote you to WeCanAwake

All knowledge is channelled. No thought exists in the material realm, all of it comes from the world of ideas, as Plato called it. Scientists get ideas, insights, flashes of inspiration. These are basically all mini-enlightenments, that light up the top of the head for a brief moment. Then, when they have understood some profound truth or gained a new insight or idea, they go about testing it and proving it with their rational mind, never the other way round. Rupert Sheldrake, a scientist himself, but someone who studies the realm of thought as well as the material realm, has written about this major misunderstanding about how the scientific process works. It should also be noted that science is a branch of philosophy, therefore thought and inspiration pre- and supersedes any sort of empirical process. We have been so disconnected from philosophy, how our own thoughts work and where they come from, that we forget these basic facts.

@Leo Gura Let's hope so. But numbers don't tell the whole story. Its development has been incredibly uneven, both geographically and in terms of income distribution. The Ganges valley area, home to half a billion people, remains the poorest major geographical area in the world, significantly worse in terms of development and poverty numbers than even sub-saharan Africa. This is being counterbalanced by the much more developed western and southern regions, but it remains to be seen, whether that will be enough. There are other issues, such as climate change and the fact that China intends to steal India's major rivers, diverting them northwards. None of that looks too promising. If you ever want to read an excellent analysis on the countervailing forces (both spiritual and material) in India, Willam Dalrymple's, The Age of Kali is perhaps the best source available to western audiences.

@Leo Gura Nevertheless, the feeling you get in India, is that its best days are behind it. There has been some improvement in the last decade, but it is not broad based yet. The counterpoint to yours is China, which was at the same level of development as India a few decades ago, but it is now significantly ahead. It can certainly be done.

The thing about the caste system, is that there were originally four of them. Priests, Warriors, Merchants and Tradesmen with the fourth being manual labourers, farmers and servants. A pretty similar class system existed in Europe up to very recently and arguably it still exists to some extent in England, which is partly why they found it so easy to exploit and work with this system, when they took over India. In terms of a medieval society, largely based on agriculture, it probably made sense. It certainly makes no sense today, though it persists to some degree. I think it is wrong to look at previous epochs with the rose-tinted progressive glasses of the present. On the other hand, Sadhguru makes a good point about the past in India being better than the present. They had flush toilets and covered sewers in Mohenjo-Daro, five thousand years ago. Most Indian people lack these facilities today, so that is a fair point to make.

This is mostly directed at the staff here. I'm relatively new and have been testing the waters so far. I quite like the general atmosphere on this forum and it seems moderation is done with a light touch, which appeals to me. I've read through the guidelines, but there are still some points that are not so clear, so I'd appreciate if the mods/admins could clarify a few things. - Is asking for and/or offering healing allowed? - How about if someone were to request or offer such some sort of energy work, such as Shaktipat, is that allowed? - If someone were to channel either on their own or on request, what is the staff policy on that? - Let us say I start a personal journal and after a considerable amount of time I decide I'd quite like to self-publish that as en e-book, say on amazon. Would I own the intellectual property for what I post here, or does actualized.org own everything? I am asking these questions for a good reason as I've run into trouble on other forums with some of the above and I want to be clear about the rules here. I would also like to suss out whether my association with higher beings would be an issue. I have again, ran into trouble before, because the beings I work with are somewhat controversial in the alternative community and amongst those, that are conspiracy-minded. Basically, I want to avoid another witch-hunt. That's it for now, I really appreciate your replies and I'll follow up tomorrow as it's getting late here.

I have never taken drugs or psychedelics of any kind, so I wouldn't know. Personally, I would stay away from them, as the potential for things going wrong is massive. Almost everyone I know who is in a really bad place psyhcically and spiritually, e.g. they're beset by demons, hateful voices talking to them, etc... got there through drugs. Perhaps taking DMT, under controlled conditions, once or twice, might be beneficial, but the jury is still out on that one.

No. No. Just No. Seriously mate, that's actually a lot of money for what is most likely a scam. With that much money lying around, (maybe not by US standards, but by world standards, that's a lot) there are so many things you can do which are far better than some scammy pick-up boot camp. For one, you can use that money to travel. There are actually plenty of countries in the world (most of them in fact) where a young US male would have no problem meeting plenty of girls, more than he could handle actually. I know several places, where you'd need a stick to beat them away. I'm not even joking.

@Raptorsin7 What you have not specified so far, is whether your practice is done completely alone, or whether there is a competent practitioner to help you if things go awry. To me, it certainly sounds that you are overdoing it and should ease back a bit. It is not my intention to scare you, but doing it alone is incredibly risky and if you experience a premature Kundalini Awakening, it can kill you, or put you in the loony house. It isn't something to be trifled with. There is a thread here about the dangers of Kundalini and you should take those warnings seriously. I have just come across an expose of a Kundalini Yoga movement, which is now actually hiding the fact that they are doing Kundalini activation. They use various tantric techniques, such as fire breathing, without any proper preparation or supervision. So far there is one confirmed death and about 500 confirmed cases of serious medical issues, such as months in a psych ward in a catatonic state, collapsed lung, heart disease and much else. I will write about it in more detail, once I get the permission from the blog owner.

@Serotoninluv Thank you for that conversation, I really enjoyed it. May the blessings of the Goddess follow you on your path.

@Serotoninluv It is getting complicated, so I will try and make it as simple as possible and cut out the complexity. We are all One. There is but Love in this world, everything else is illusion. It is Love that binds us together and connects us. Hate and mistrust, on the other hand, separates us. When we Love, we unite and become One. In Unity, there is diversity, yet, there is no separation, because we exist in a continuum, all unique in our own way, but we also have points of connection, where we merge into each other and it is no longer possible to tell where one of us starts and the other ends. It is at these connection points that various forms of love manifest, depending on the kind of relationship we have with one another. This could be friendship, neighbourliness, kindness, familial love, romantic love, etc... But, the highest form of love is divine love, which is love for all. All other forms of love are pale reflections of the real thing and in our lives, what we ultimately seek is divine love, expressed through unity consciousness. All throughout our lives, we seek connection and meaning. Even our various addictions are a desperate search to find, meaning, connection and unity. What we ultimately all want is to love and be loved. The forces inherent in the illusory mirror world that we're lost in pull us away from each other. Our memory of our divine nature and what it means to be ONE is what draws us closer together. When we serve the forces of Unity and Love, we move the whole world closer together to its ultimate source. Fear of unity and the insecurities that come with it are what fuel hate and separation. Our ultimate destiny is to regain unity consciousness and to reintegrate our souls into a greater whole, from which we consciously separate ourselves every waking moment of our lives, even in our sleep and as reincarnation proves, even in our death. We are consciously resisting drifting back into unity by constantly building and maintaining barriers between us and others. Reversing that requires letting go and not doing, in other words, stopping the conscious and constant sabotage of our own happiness and bliss. When we let go of the ego, our fears, insecurities, hatred and all other separational emotions and consciousness vehicles, that is when the bliss of infinity and nothingness, of unbound love and unadulterated joy becomes our reality. Because at this moment, we are filled with light, some refer to this re-emergence of unity consciousness as enlightenment.

@Serotoninluv I have a problem with idea of "No Self". There is no such thing. Some people even talk about ego death or killing the self. That is an impossibility. I've noticed a lot of people misinterpret the idea of non-duality and Oneness, thinking it means that they have to dissolve and "kill" their own self in some way. That is actually the exact opposite of what they should do. In an enlightenment experience, where separation and duality cease to exist and Oneness is regained, the Self expands into infinity. It becomes the Universe, or rather the point of view of the observer changes and he realises that he IS the universe and he is boundless, infinite, unceasing, undying, timeless, etc... So, rather than the Self dissolving into some infinite mass of sameness, the observer realises that he was never separate from the universe in the first place, it is only his attitude and point of view that made it seem that way. However, with this realisation, instead of dying an ego death, he realises that the ego was never real, it was only a projection and a certain point of view, on the other hand HE was always the SELF, which is unbound and infinite. I hope I'm making sense here.

hmm, not sure if I agree. I think the very essence of individuality is separation. It may be an illusion per se, but it is a crucial distinction. Without wanting to sound too precocious, I believe that those intelligent life forms that are above us on the evolutionary ladder (you may call them gods or aliens if you wish), go in and out of collective consciousness with ease, but they do not lose their individuality in the process. Us humans lack this ability, though we can catch glimpses of it. Yes, but whose mind? I would argue that there is actually just one mind, which we all share. Or maybe that is the point you were trying to make?

@Serotoninluv you seem to be hung up on semantics. I prefer a more practical approach. A separate ego may be an illusion, but it is also through the individuated self that we get to experience this world. It is necessary for us to separate from source in order to have a direct experience of this material realm. Fear and insecurity are caused by separation anxiety. When one experiences unity consciousness, fear and doubt melt away.