DreamScape

@undeather haha, yeah I didnt see that that was judgement originally. I was thinking of looking into bypassing, although now I realize that I need to research this more and do more work toward it. I seem to have a paradigm where I think everyone is out to hurt me which I think is why i try to separate myself or detach instead of dealing with problems head on. I do have views toward right and wrong but what I was saying is that I am breaking down the conceptual filters of good vs bad. I'm not necessarily bullshitting myself.

@Martin123 it is a unique situation. I know others into spirituality but I was alone for a while in the start. Glad that I make you not feel so alone! As I said above, I try but they dont usually listen. Actually, my dad actively forgets what I say. He blatantly ignores anything I'm actually into and then acts like hes unconditionally accepting of me /:. You're right though, maybe communication can help and I'll try it again but I'm not sure if I'll get any different results ?

@erik8lrl haha... you're ultimately right. Unfortunately, I'm not at the point where I can be unconditionally and always loving. @mandyjw like if I talk about anything spiritually or what I'm doing I get a backlash.. stuff like telling me to toughen up, if I bring up my feelings about something he says "oh you know I'm not like that" and then continues to do it. When I was a vegan he used to make fun of me and my family didnt stop me but there was a lot of backlash against stage green stuff LMAO. You get the point, I know that theres nothing right or wrong in reality but it skews my worldview while trying to heal. I do have karma related to living with my mom, she was really controlling and tried to nit pick every part of my life but I moved out when I was 16.