DreamScape

This is a funny post

Jesus had the messiah complex.

@SoonHei Might as well stay naked. Therefore, you can be 100% truth. LOL

@Average Investor Yeah, it really does. I was with one of my ex girlfriends before, and I was super energetic beforehand and then when I went to go and cuddle her in her house my energy completely depleted within like a second. It was insane.

Beautiful ❤

Wow.. That's insane. Never heard a person's story more interesting than THAT.

My mother and I have had a pretty rough relationship. We never really got along. For almost the longest I can remember, I didn't want to be with her. She is emotionally abusive, manipulative and just overall a very toxic person to be around. I stopped seeing her when I was a little over 16 years old. I turn 18 tomorrow. So now I can legally be away from her for good. I was just about to block her. I really want to. I don't see the relationship going anywhere for a while. Although something stopped me, which was second guesses. What if I decide I want to talk to her later on down the line? What if she wants to say happy bday to me tomorrow? This is me longing for the love, in which I was originally closed off but due to spiritual work am now more open to love. idk y'all. This is harder than I thought. What would be an appropriate response to this situation?

hahah, that's fucked up. Yeah, I agree with you.

No I don't think it matters. It's been a while that I've thought about this so just bear in mind if I'm wrong or something. I've never done PUA or stuff. But it seems like its about foreplay and how good you are at the act itself. It's more about the other things that really turns the girl on and not the banging. Also romance, I'm sure creative ideas to do during it would be great also as it's not a cookie cutter, copy and paste thing she has ever seen I'm sure that if you have a very small dick then I'm sure that will have a bad effect on your sex, but otherwise it's about the other things you do At least that's what I know with my limited knowledge

@Vladz0r yeah, we relate well. Luckily, I'm living with my father and hes like my safe haven you could say. I had to go through two years of arguments and fights and being grounded and ignored to get to that point though. My mom isnt violent, although I feel like it wouldnt have even gone as smooth as it did if I didnt have counselors in my life. It never really seemed like she cared about me at all. I know that all women aren't like that, but so so many people are neurotic and dysfunctional it's literally insane. Oh by the way, you're right, the relationship between my dad and her is suuuuuper bad @Martin123 I understand. I felt like the best thing to do was to wait until I was deeply healed and I could go in full throttle and be okay with whatever happens. So yeah, go with the flow with whatever happens, great advice! @Fortunate Son she hasn't texted me for a while so there aren't any recent examples. When she was, she wasnt giving me the space I needed away. She would constantly text me and expect me to fulfill her needs. I didnt though, and One time she was just super upset and she threatened to tell them that I wasnt living with her anymore and my smoking weed that I did a year or so prior. (I told the guidance counselors the WHOLE story though, so I was safe and okay). One time I had a phone, while being grounded of course, after dark (1030) and she took the phone, and since it was my dads phone (that I took without his permission) she slammed it multiple times and screamed very loud. That made me feel pretty worthless, shameful and dreadful that I even had her as a mom. Also things like telling my autistic stepbrother that the reason why he has autism is because my grandma (dads side) dropped him while he was a baby. She has also made me hate my stepmom before by accusing her in front of me. This is her. I closed myself off so deeply because Id get love from her and none the next day. I always felt empty. Plus, I was always comparing it to my dads which was lax, I had more freedom and love was available more readily than it was for her house.

@Son of leo shooting myself to "be a man" is not why I'm on the planet lol

@Martin123 very beautiful perspective. I notice that with myself, I am still attracted to that comfort zone. If I talked to her, I know we would just go into unconscious patterns again. i dont want that to happen, I want the cycle of abuse and trauma to end. Even now I'm saying "I feel bad, maybe I shouldnt have blocked her." "What if she texted me and I dont reply, how would she feel." But I know I would feel worse if she texted me. I feel like I'm avoiding a very huge trap. @Anna1 I wouldnt say its messed up, love is what keeps us together, whether or not it hurts us or not. If I wasnt so closed off originally to her, I wouldve done the same thing.

@Anna1 yeah, I feel you.

@Leo GuraDamn really? That's interesting.

@Anna1 if I ever do, i will remember. The biggest problem with trauma is not the event itself, I think the aftereffects. Like a nuke that only hits one small segment, but then blows up a big cloud and destroys miles and miles around it, that is trauma. Then it takes a while for recovery. It's too bad that it is this way I think. Even though 'everything is as is meant to be.'

@Anna1 I am so sorry to hear that! It definitely is. Glad you have your peace.

It is said that god has a curious desire to know himself. Since reality is infinite, in many directions at once, is it really possible for god to ever fully know himself?

Theres no other way it could be. Im okay with it though. This is one of the best things you can ever do, imo.

@Preety_India Thanks! I'll take a look. I've dealt with a lot of those. I was attracted to bad relationships so I know what that is. My mom actually gaslighted but I forgot the countless examples I found while researching and contemplating a while back. Its soo tough to deal with because it's all in your head and it's hard to discern if it's actually happening or not. My mom was an expert at telling me lies and me believing them. Ain't got no time for energy vampires. Happy journey to you too ???

@Average Investor It definitely is. It's like the atmosphere becomes cleaner and chains are severed from your wrists, when they're toxic relationships of course.

@Martin123 Really appreciate your kind words ?

@Average Investor @Martin123 Yeah, it is VERY hard. I blocked her by the way. She wouldn't leave me alone for a while and has for the past few months. Good job martin also for picking yourself up. @Average Investor Yes definitely. That's been my #1 for about a year now.

y'all are right. It is the right thing to do.

@Average Investor Yeah. My mom had a very very toxic childhood. Her dad abused her a bit and her mom was a drug addict who moved all the time (inability for her to find friends) and did a whole bunch of whacky shit. I've thought about it a lot honestly, I know right now it would hurt my emotional health to even see her. I think to myself that maybe in a couple years, when I'm emotionally strong enough to handle anything that happens. I also have the kundalini flowing through my chakras so that makes me extra sensitive as of now. My mom did try her best though and I realize that. I can see how she put a LOT of effort into creating a nice space for us. She honestly worked pretty hard to create what she has now, which is a nice home and lots of nice food. She even moved us out of crappy areas so I could have nice schooling. I have been forgiving her. I just don't know if it's healthy or worthwhile. It also hurts me to see how the family dynamic is and how they treat the baby they just had a few years ago. Good for you, you're doing great with where you've come.

Can anybody describe shamanism to someone (me) who has no clue what it is? Preferably a longer description. I took shrooms again and I became very fearful of schizophrenia. I could not get it out of my head. Then, i started to imagine myself as that. I tried to resist it so much, such a bad experience. Anyways, I think I tapped into a realm and brought something back with me. This probably sounds crazy but it's literally the truth. It was a darker realm, not too sure that it was negative but darker ( in the sense that it looked like there was an absence of light ) for sure. Energy from the cerebellum region, or I, grabbed onto it and tried to bring it back with me. I KNOW what schizophrenia is (basically thoughts that you cant control) and I'm having some. But it's not spontaneous. If I focus on it it will be stronger. Also the energy in that region is not normal. Its moving around and it isnt together like it was before. I dont know. All I know is I'm scared. I know schizophrenia ties into shamanism and I'm trying to find a shamanic healer or teacher that can assist me. I really have no one around me that can help me. Theres a place that's 40 minutes away, I messaged them but they didnt get back. They have a phone but I'm waiting for a message back to call. What the fuck should I do. Am I a future shaman? Is this going to be a part of my path onward? Because i have no idea and I haven't been able to get this off my mind. Sorry that I'm so paranoid.