Stratos

Good evening all, My name is Stratos, and I am a student that soon finishes his academic career. I am writing this message because i require assistance upon the matter of addiction. I am aware that ther are many topics concerning the subject but I would like to make some more remarks. For my good luck (or not) i happen to be a very attractive male. At the same time, i have been blessed with the ability to articulate speech on very high levels and engage conversation of philosophical nature quite naturally. I am also quite organized which can be observed by my ability to finish my Master's at 22. I speak 3 languages and i have been doing martial arts for a decade now. I’m clean, i know how to cook well and people often come to me for advice. Even older people... However, i am an addict. Technically i am not yet because i am quite young. However, i understand that my personality is prone to addiction and in 10 years from now i will definitely be. I consume large quantities of alcohol in one sitting (750 ml of spirit) without getting hangover. I smoke enormous amounts of cannabis and also indulge myself in other substances. I have tried to stop numerous of times but fail repeatedly. I don’t know how to discipline myself when it comes to substances which is weird if you take into account my martial arts training. I also sometimes find myself giving excuses to me so i can drink/smoke. "Since i am so good in all other areas it is ok to drink/smoke." I have been going back and fourth with this issue for years.. I don’t know what to do. I feel that i am doomed to suffer from addiction for the rest of my life. I have considered going to a Buddhist temple for a few years to get away from everything but i feel that fleeing society is not the right choice yet. I am still building my future and i know i have many things to provide society before i flee... Could you guys give me some advice on how to combat this issue?

@Salvijus i will take it into consideration when i finish my thesis in a couple of months. i was planning of going to mexico but i would rather attend a retreat..

@Ulax thanks a lot, truly.

I am in love with one of my close friends for a couple of months now. We both have feelings for each other but haven't communicated them appropriately. Only glimpses of them or drunk confessions. She broke up 1 week ago from a 1-year relationship and I found the opportunity to tell her how I feel. At a party, we both drank a little and I opened up. We made out for a bit. The next day she asked for time. However, I feel very bad because I haven't told her sober how much I truly care for her. I really want to approach her and talk it out but on the one hand, she JUST broke up and on the other, I don't want to cross the "I need time" boundaries. Our communication is currently limited to a couple of texts a day. What's the best approach to get my feelings out of my chest without pushing her away? + How do I help her get through the breakup?

Recently while I was cooking a thought just popped in to my head saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE" I am currently practicing my master's in Sustainability management and every day I feel that it doesn't make me happy because I don't have a long-term goal. But I love caring for the environment... My mentality is if you wanna do something in life do something that will help the world. But the thing is that even while I'm "on the right track" I feel lost. I love meditating and trying out new Sādhanās that is why I started a Meditation group on campus. But is STILL do not fill fulfilled. I really do not know what to do. Where to look for. Why can't I find my life purpose since I do everything I love??

@Michael569 You just put on the table really deep questions and I thank you for that. I'll start by answering those and see how it goes. Bless you..

@funcool I don't know what you mean by me fragmenting my life. What kind of requirements I set for me to be happy? Could you please elaborate?

Good evening everybody, I'll try to make this as short and simple as possible. I am an addict, I know I am an addict due to the behaviour I produce when I am around my drug or think about my drug. I have been a heavy Cannabis smoker for over 4 years now non stop. I recently left my hometown and moved abroad and I stopped for 15 days. However, I am back on the same habit but with 1/3 of the consumption, I used to do. The thing is that when I say I am an addict I can accept it but when I feel myself "stuck" in the internal now the word just disappears. I feel I am not an addict and I just project this label onto myself to build my ego or my self-image. I really don't know what to believe or with what actions to proceed. I love cannabis and want it in my life, but is this the addict me talking and the right word is not "want" but "need"? Thank you in advance for your time, - Stratos

Hi everyone, I've been meditating for the last year or so on a daily basis. I try to stay in the now letting my ears hear whatever they wanna hear, but I never really understood the meaning in the phrase "watch your thoughts". Every time I try to be conscious of my thoughts I immediately return to the now. They just disappear as if they only work when I'm daydreaming. Thanks in advance

@evgn @hamedsfthe truth is that I am thinking it. To be completely honest I've dated some women after her ( some of them at the same age some of them 40+) and I don't seem to be satisfied. I always think of her and catch myself regretting going out with the other women after the date is over.

Hello everyone, Couple of months ago I started a topic called "dating someone much older than you". In short I started dating one of my mothers friend. She is 35 and I am 20. I was really nervous and troubled at first because of the age difference. We dated for 7 months and broke up recently. The main problem in our relationship was that I was taking it to a serious level although she wanted it too, she was holding back due to the age gap. I was giving 100% of my emotional world to her and she knew that she can't couldn't hold me back forever. You see, she wanted to let go but the thought of someday marrying a guy at my age was a little over the top, not only for her but for me too. So one day after she left for her village where she was going to stay for two weeks, I met a girl. This girl (younger than me) communicated her feelings right away and this intrigued me. After hanging out some times ( where I didn't let anything happen) we finally made out. I immediately regret it because I had promised myself to give everything to the other woman and also because I hate cheating. That is why I called her the same night and told her what happened. The next day I missed work and went on to find her. After travelling 6 hours by bus to meet her we discuss for a little and break up. (Please have in mind that the reason of breaking up was all the problems coming from the age gap, the cheating was the thing that brought everything up). The thing is we still deeply care for each other and actually went out the other day. I noticed she still had feelings but wanted to be alone for some time. She seemed to be upset for cheating on her because almost all her exes did it. That's why she indirectly told me that she doesn't trust me anymore, at least not as she used to. My goal is to gain her trust again without "violating" her space, irritate, or annoy her. I want to be close to her and if one day we are ready maybe start something from the beginning, continuing what we left of or just stay friends. Thanks a lot for listening to me and I hope you have some time to leave a reply, have a good night.

@hamedsf life only goes forward right? It's hard to let her go, I feel that I could have given so much more.

@acidgoofy @The0Self I see, thank you

@The0Self At the time being, what would be the best way to act during this difficult time? Leave her alone, sending a message once in X time, pursue her more?

@LessonsSavesLifes first of all thanks for replying. Secondly, she never referred to them neither as good friends or assholes ( although some of them were) she was always neutral about that. Hope it helps

Hello everyone and thank you for reading this, A couple of months ago I met a woman who is 35 years old (I'm 20). She is a friend of my mom and from the first time I saw her I knew that something would happen in the long run. And I was right. We first started talking and as time passed by we made out and eventually had sex. The thing is that i know that if we keep seeing each other I will eventually start having strong feelings about her (a process that has already started) and due to her age I am really concerned that she doesn't see things like I do and probably just wants to have fun (or even worse, seeing other men too and me being just a part of her "fun") i haven't asked how she feels or how she would like us to proceed because i do not want her to believe that I get emotionally attached too easy and push her away. On the other side, I cannot keep doing something with her when I force my feelings to not grow or show up. A friend of mine pointed out that I should stop having this stupid relationship mindset and start having fun with women without caring too much. But I find it extremely difficult to share my body, my thoughts and even feelings without giving a crap. I would really need some help, thank you in advance, Stratos

@Preety_India Your words are kind and I really appreciate them.

I took into consideration everything I've read here and I would really like to thank each and every one you that took the time to consult me concerning my problem. The truth is that she realised that I was behaving a little weird and I was blacking out into space from time to time. So we decided to talk and I told myself that I would be true to her. And I was. I explained that although I do not want to go full serious (relationship from the beginning) i was concerned that she would she other men too. She replied that she has already been to the situation where she was seeing multiple men (and she is not proud about it) and wouldn't like to do it again. ( In my opinion maybe for the best cause now she doesn't have any bottled up feelings). She then added that she feels bad that we have to keep this a secret from my mother but we both agreed that for the time is best to keep it that way. Lastly, we made a deal to be 100% honest with each other since communication is really good between us. P.S another question of mine was, how can a woman seek something more than sex with a person that cannot provide the things that a guy at her age could give her, to which she replied that if she wanted to be provided with things she would go to someone that would do that and either cut it off with me or even not start anything at all. To sum up, I believe that trust is number one when you want to build something, anything actually with another human being. So I will choose to trust her words and see where this leads us. Have a beautiful night (or day) wherever you are and thank you again for being here to support me.

@flowboy The thing about the values makes much sense. The choice I shall make is really on what I want more. And if I had to choose then I would go with being honest, even if that means losing sex. But I would like to hear more about your opinions about the matter, it's best when you have a spherical view on a subject you can't really see objectively

Now I am a little confused, On the one hand I agree with some people saying that I should be honest and see where this leads, even when the chances of building something are low. On the other hand, not telling a thing to her about my feelings will lead to us keep seeing each other, but with me knowing that probably she was with another man a couple hours ago. So what would be the best move, to compromise my feelings or being open about them. Will they eventually get surpassed automatically?

I see, the whole situation is doomed if proceeded to something more serious. But how can I train myself to accept that what I feel doesn't mean something and I should just enjoy sex. I mean, how can I not let my emotions for this woman affect me negatively and then us as "sex partners"

But asking her straight doesn't that prove that I'm immature? Aren't things much more clear for her? That means that the problem is me...

Last year I walked out of 4 year toxic relationship.( I still care for this girl because she ment a lot to me and was the only person who I think at least liked who I really was). Since then I've been through some serious mental issues which I managed to calm down with meditation and weed. In the process I realised that I also had a serious problem with letting go. So I started letting things go and it's been working for me quite nicely. The problem is that I really want to let go of that relationship because I know that memories and feelings can emerge again at any time and make me go back to the dark hole I used to be. So, how can I let go of that? P.S I thought that 100 mg of LSD or a DMT (5-MEO) experience whould greatly increase my chances of letting it go.. Thank you All in Advance

It took so many attempts to put the stillness exercise in my life not knowing it's full potential, leading me to fail again and again. Thank you, Nikky for clarifying this to me.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your time and support on my issue. I will try out your tactics and let you know of the end results