Rebecca Kalamata

Like maybe a pandemic?

So it is now the days of the coronavirus. I was in S.B. with Mom for a week. They have closed Vista Del Monte to all visitors as they have closed all the assisted living residences. The old and the sick die from Covid-19 as it is called. The rest of us are to be staying in our homes voluntarily except for necessities. Los Angeles is under lockdown though. People can be ticketed $1,000 but the cops are not going to be .... at first anyway. It's being said that the only way to beat this is for a total lockdown for 5 weeks. They should do that now. It will come to it anyway and the virus will be wreaking havok soon. I am waiting to see if there is an exponential increase of cases needing emergency care. Jennifer had it for 6 days and is now fine. Maia has it now. Last Thurs. Jen picked up Forrest who is home from his closed university in Chicago. We are thinking that he should be getting sick on about Wed. Dave has not been effected yet. He wanted to go to Home Depot today. My gosh, that's why we need a lockdown. So here I am in Redondo Beach CA. USA. I came here to: visit Mom sell the house have garage sale sell jewelry at fairs apply for Medicare/SS substitute teach sell the truck get a new loan replace cell phone help Mom move Some of those things can maybe still be achieved. Some of them can't. We only know that things are different now and no one knows how different. We don't feel confident or secure. Only hopeful. It's weird though, the whole world has stopped. Some people are in for a very bad time. I will continue to listen to Leo and Sadhguru. I will use their tools. I miss being with Thetis and Tiko. Now I am here.

She will not be permitted to enter the United States as she is neither a citizen nor a permanent resident. I don't think there is a big risk for her safety healthwise but if she were to get into the USA and plans to take care of her business, she will probably find the offices she needs are closed. She will probably get caught up in being locked down as we are fast approaching that situation on a state by state basis. And she sounds like someone who does what she wants and might not follow the guidelines/rules and catch the virus and not know it. Then she would infect Americans which would not be appreciated. And she might not be able to reenter EU countries. I live in the EU part of the year and am concerned that I will not be able to use my return ticket to Greece in July. We are all in this same boat of wondering how the airlines are going to manage all these prepaid tickets. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. The governments will decide for her but if she makes it in she should be fine healthwise. We will not appreciate her coming however.

I understand now what is going on. Consciousness is the most precious resource that exists. Human Beings are the only beings that are conscious. Our humanity took the path of technology. We merged with the physical resources and mistook our bodies for ourselves. We have A1 that will develop infinitely. Not to worry so much about ecology. A1 is not effected by temperature, or water, or food. A1 will enable humanity to survive AND A1 is forcing the awakenings of the Human Beings. A1 will enable colonization of Mars. A1 will have to physically build just as humans physically build. Consciousness does not build. I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT IS DONE. And up stepped Leo. How can this be?

The question becomes, "What now?" It's one thing for me to have arrived here NOW, at my age NOW, but I wonder about IT all going forward and ask, "Do I want to be so different from THEM?" It would be very different if I was half this age. Such a thing you have before you. Sadahguru has managed it though. I am listening to 'Why Brains Do Not Exist". Darling you keep saying 'you' to ME. Nope, not me. You are talking to other yous. So this is a no brainer. You are a breadcrumb and I am having a blast. 2 years ago I decided and said out loud and in writing to a few people that I wanted to figure out HOW GOD/CONSCIOUSNESS works. I have never heard anyone say that. I learned not to analyze and plan IT out. Reality, I mean. KNOW my pure intention. FEEL emotionally my intention. As soon as I got that I kept getting more. Everything serves my intention NOW. A bunch of things happened to put me on that porch in Kalamata that morning when I received my Tiko cat. Then you arrived Leo. Then the vision arrived. The Vision I create my HEALTH, WEALTH and LEARNING Center in Kalamata and I bring people to teach their mastery and I provide the most fun and special vacation a person can imagine. I provide you Leo, with the space and organization to teach face to face, anyone you choose. I can provide any level of accomodations and great food so people can determine their own expenses. I can get a space to accomodate any # of people for seminars. You get paid however much you charge your students. Come to Redondo Beach and meet me Leo. Come on the Beach Life Music Festival weekend of May1-3 and have fun with your new state of SELF. Or come another time and I can take you to a secret little forest above the sea where the hillside is covered with orange and yellow flowers and there is a tiny redwood grove. I can take you to a secret beach where we used to live naked in the sun and sea. I can leave you and come back and get you later. Or I can come to Las Vegas and talk about this with you. Leo, I want to develop my Center because I can. I want to have something fun to do. I want to bring people to me and give them great gifts of knowledge and fun and companionship. I don't want to seek any longer. I want my development to unfold. I want the sense of reaching to cease. It is time for the movement to stop. I AM arrived. I am at Zero Level 2. If you read this please let me know. Otherwise I will wait.

The question becomes, "What now?" It's one thing for me to have arrived here NOW, at my age NOW, but I wonder about IT all going forward and ask, "Do I want to be so different from THEM?" It would be very different if I was half this age. Such a thing you have before you. Sadahguru has managed it though. I am listening to 'Why Brains Do Not Exist". Darling you keep saying 'you' to ME. Nope, not me. You are talking to other yous. So this is a no brainer. You are a breadcrumb and I am having a blast. 2 years ago I decided and said out loud and in writing to a few people that I wanted to figure out HOW GOD/CONSCIOUSNESS works. I have never heard anyone say that. I learned not to analyze and plan IT out. Reality, I mean. KNOW my pure intention. FEEL emotionally my intention. As soon as I got that I kept getting more. Everything serves my intention NOW. A bunch of things happened to put me on that porch in Kalamata that morning when I received my Tiko cat. Then you arrived Leo. Then the vision arrived. The Vision I create my HEALTH, WEALTH and LEARNING Center in Kalamata and I bring people to teach their mastery and I provide the most fun and special vacation a person can imagine. I provide you Leo, with the space and organization to teach face to face, anyone you choose. I can provide any level of accomodations and great food so people can determine their own expenses. I can get a space to accomodate any # of people for seminars. You get paid however much you charge your students. Come to Redondo Beach and meet me Leo. Come on the Beach Life Music Festival weekend of May1-3 and have fun with your new state of SELF. Or come another time and I can take you to a secret little forest above the sea where the hillside is covered with orange and yellow flowers and there is a tiny redwood grove. I can take you to a secret beach where we used to live naked in the sun and sea. I can leave you and come back and get you later. Or I can come to Las Vegas and talk about this with you. Leo, I want to develop my Center because I can. I want to have something fun to do. I want to bring people to me and give them great gifts of knowledge and fun and companionship. I don't want to seek any longer. I want my development to unfold. I want the sense of reaching to cease. It is time for the movement to stop. I AM arrived. I am at Zero Level 2. If you read this please let me know. Otherwise I will wait.

So in organizing I came across some writings from the past that I have hung onto. The following is one of 3 papers that I wrote in Nov. 1981. That was the year that I realized that I was serious about college and also decided to do something about the sex issues that had been plaguing me all my life. After 3 breakups I was finally separated from my first Greek husband. For the first time I sought help from someone from a position of strength. I was not crawling into a psych's office in a helplessly depressed state. I was at Level Zero and determined to get on with it. The assignment for my Woman's History class was to read, 'Fear Of Flying' by Erica Jong and to write a reaction paper to it. FEAR OF FLYING by Erica Jong November, 1981 26 years old Erica/Isadora's struggle with men is similar to my own and it is refreshing that she writes so shamelessly and truthfully about her fears, her needs and her desperate attempts to resolve her life. Her problem of, 'How to make feminism jibe with her unappeasable hunger for male bodies is very familiar. In spite of her anger towards men, in spite of her mistrust, she goes on with the great manhunt. Sex, sex, sex makes it all better for a little while. But it is not just sex that's needed, wanted, longed for, craved. She wants a deep, sharing, caring, loving, respecting. honest, open, spontaneous, lustful relationship with a man. Honestly, is that too much to DEMAND? Bennet, her husband was a great lover/lay, but he was a bore and selfish with his feelings. Perhaps Isadora's problem was that men were central to her existence. It was to men that she turned to to get the feelings that made her feel really alive. Men were her pleasure source and it was up to them to make her feel good. Oh dear, I recognize that one. Father/Daddy, make me feel better. Pay me attention, hold me, protect me, love me. Women like Isadora and myself are like kittens too early weaned from their mothers, forever demanding strokes. And no wonder! Where was Daddy way back when? Off being a MAN working for his family. And in steps the rest of the world teaching us to be oh so attractive and desirable to men. Catch a man, catch a man, be beautiful, young and catch a man. But Mom says that the boys won't respect me if I don't play hard to get. They won't call more than once if I make myself cheap. Cheap. That makes no sense. I have what they are begging for, that I am dying to give...because it feels good and they don't want me? Once yes but I am doomed forever if I 'give in'. And I'll get a reputation...whore, slut. And no man will love me and by having sex I am ending my chances for finding true love. Where is the reality in the world? And I am not talking about the reality that people create. I don't mean social reality, I mean the reality that people feel things deeply, both emotionally and sexually. In this world that we have created for ourselves, half the population is conditioned to repress their emotions. The other half is conditioned to repress their sexuality. I admire ERica/Isadora for refusing to be half alive, for demanding her sexuality and for insisting on finding a person to share her emotions and experiences with. I have never played the game by the rules. I had the misfortune (misfortune because I wasted a lot of time and caused myself and others a lot of pain) to see through the rules long before most people learned of them. On the other hand I had the fortune to be able to see through the bullshit and to refuse it so I stand a good chance of winning the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That pot of gold is the being a woman who knows what she wants and has it, goes where she wants, does what she wants, is capable of having honest friendships, of unselfishly loving, of having delightful, guilt-free, fun sexual relationships and perhaps has a special loving, sharing, sexual relationship with a man that shares the same basic values of real honesty and integrity and care that I do. "Fear Of Flying" is abut one woman's reaction to a life that is lacking. It is disturbing that men are so important to Erica/Isadora, and to me. Maybe, maybe in spite of all the conditioning and physical desire it is possible to decentralize men, desexobjectize them, defatherize them and relate to them as people, as friends, and to go on about the business of living. Then maybe Erica and I can sleep with and make love to them, fuck them in every loving sense of the word without all the 'I need/you won't give' push and pull that goes on between most men and women. If we didn't need so badly it wouldn't matter so much that they can't give. Maybe then they could give once the pressure was off and we'd all live happily ever after. So there are 2 more papers for me to include. I might react to this one from my point of view from NOW. The point is that I did get over it all. I got over being me. There's other really hard stuff going on that raises the ugly co-dependence head. This is killing me. Lol. Now I will get it about co-dependence. I want some really deep learning. I'm down into comprehending it many levels deep. I want more. I want to be done with it. Gordon used to tell me, "Stand Up". That's how hard these changes are. It's just a different view point. Just a tiny tilt of the camera sometimes. That's the way I changed my thinking.

Two weeks back now? I have had to organize to be able to organize. My stuff leaves little room to spread out in. Now I have so many phone calls that involve repeating information, digging up numbers and being put on hold. Right now I am waiting for a real estate agent to call with whatever info., ideas he has to sell this property. Sell This Property. I can create anything that I want if I sell this property. When I looked and saw what I have created these years I am astounded. I have been far more living in the now than I gave myself credit for because I am "Surprised By Joy". My mom told me with great sincerity that I should meditate. My mom has been making progress too. I have an idea to begin meeting with the spiritual advisor at her place, her name is Laura, and talk regularly with mom about her increasing dependency as well as about her life. I want to do this. It would be so special. Who does that in our culture. In this way I will participate in her dying and I will learn about loving. My mother deserves to be wholly loved by me. It's time to stop blaming her for not knowing how to love me. I also want to get clearer on the things that Leo and others discuss that are concepts to me now. I understand how it works a bit now. That is what I was saying 2 years ago, "I want to understand how it works.... how does manifesting work? There are experiential pieces missing. I am GOD. This is an Illusion. Evil. Everything/Nothing. I want you to know me Leo. I have written that before. I want to create a way for you to go to Kalamata and teach in person to participants of your choice. I want to create a place of major relaxation, learning, healthy eating and fun exercise. That's just in case you read this. That is my plan. In the meantime I think that you should come to the Beach Life Music Festival on May 1, 2, and 3 here in Redondo Beach and get to know me and have a great time. So I just wrote that here. I'll put more effort into contacting you some other time.

I'm glad that you wrote again. That sounded awesome. Straight to the point. The incredible thing is that it clears the way to things usually going right from here on out. It's the piece missing from the Law Of Attraction. Getting IT like you did, with the majesty and glory, being able to just be and with abundant good intentions for others and constant appreciation for All That Is... Live like that and mindful of the ego shifts as they drift in and out...It's a beautiful recipe.

I am curious as to why you are communicating on this forum. I have lots of history around sex. It's nicer not to be obsessed anymore than it was being obsessed, but at the time that was seemingly out of my control. Control had a lot to do with it as a matter of fact. Lots of things happened to bring change and frankly a relief. I am about to pack for an 18-hour flight. I might have the opportunity to contribute further later. I might write in my journal during the flight. Being sexually addicted is one of those choices that I wore as though it was not a choice. How about being sexually addicted and not 'working it'? Just being it. That's why I say that I am curious as to why you are communicating about it on this forum. Why do I now know about this of you? Why do your Christian friends who you know will have different points of view to yours know about this aspect of your selves? How can we help you here on this forum? Are you working on self-actualization in your lives? Why would you want to do an experiment on Craigslist? What is stopping you from just quietly fucking your brains out at every opportunity? By the way, there is no nudity issue. I could walk naked anywhere but I would get arrested and possibly scare the horses. (I think it was Elenor Roosevelt who said, "I don't care what people do as long as they don't do it in the street and scare the horses".) People would probably form opinions about me that would reflect poorly on my husband and this is his neighborhood and he values the opinions of his lifelong neighbors. I'm too chubby now and several parts are rather gravity effected which would inhibit me. This reminds me of a funny story though about being naked in the street that maybe I will add to my journal later. My tits were better then though.

That makes sense. Doesn't really fit my personal people; my sister - Susac's Syndrome, my mother - Parkinson's (both American) my goddaughter - (mysterious/undiagnosed other than autoimmune) Greek/Mediterranean diet. It's complicated. The devil in me tells me that beneath all the complication, I'm on to something and that poor diet and toxins are major risk factors. But hey. it's just my opinion.

I am sorry to hear of his misery. I never heard of him before a month ago when I awoke to him on my wall ( like I did to Leo on my wall in Oct.) I liked his 12 Rules and loved the lobster dominance hierarchy. So I have been confused by the dis-ing he gets on this forum. When I started teaching little kids 30 years ago, I never had time to pursue much of anything in popular culture or on the internet. That's hard to believe but I had a lot of personal interests and teaching school requires one to work long into the night and on weekends preparing lessons and a myriad of other things to make the hours with the students effective. Who the fuck is Jordan Peterson to y'all. I'm in this bizarre time warp. Has it always been this way? Will it always be this way? Yes and yes. We pick our manifestations. Autoimmune Diseases are making me crazy. People who I care hugely about are living lives that are dominated by types of autoimmune diseases. I will get to the bottom of this. I do not get sick. I have this intuition that people who 'act out' do not get autoimmune diseases as much as people who internalize their pain. And maybe a certain kind of ego fear makes one susceptible. So just as a prophylactic in case I am right, STOP BEING AFRAID. There is nothing to fear. STOP IT! NOW! AND STOP HAVING SO MANY OPINIONS. ALL THOSE OPINIONS ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU SICK!

Thanks Johnny5, I wrote this in a post earlier today before I read your warning. "Lend me your shoes that I might walk in them for an hour or a day. No, don't! Your pain is too much for me to bear. Please, buy a size or 2 larger to suit me so that I can help you". That devil, she sure is a tricky one. I always keep one eye on my back! Also, The Dali Lama is Turquoise and Neale Walsh probably is. I am not. I am ever vigilant for co-dependent 'concern'. I have discovered that if I am being co-dependent and being 'concerned' through ego, I am not effective. I am learning to keep it to a warm smile and kind word, especially to the grumpiest. When I see, 'bad/difficult behavior/attitudes, I know that I am witnessing the pain they live with and that it's not my place to rob this opportunity for healing from them. That would be very devilish of me indeed. it's more about living in love and being willing if I'm asked.

I know this is an old post but I was blown away by the animosity that I read in a more recent thread so I went back to dig a little and came upon this one. First off, I am attractive but I am not beautiful. I don't like the first words out of a guy's mouth to be a lie. Second, off I don't want full body contact with a man I just met. Just be real. Most available women are looking for a relationship. Just suck it up and become the type of man a woman will want to be in a relationship with. That's the price for good sex.

@kalaBut ever since I went after exploring who I REALLY am and tried to find what was my real purpose in life, I lost every connection I had with these hobbies. Seems like a mistake of attributing your inner state to outside forces, even at this subtle level. You lost nothing. You let go of focus. You are free to change focus always. There is no negative consequence except that which you impose on yourself. There is no blame, there is no guilt, there are choices, take responsibility for choices and extend that in to Ego constantly and out to God constantly. It's all you. NOW is a great time to focus on the things Leo and others teach about meditation. Clear the space within, sow the garden of your soul. Depression is a choice. Take charge, let go of control. The time will pass anyway. Make it a great day by greeting a stranger with a beautiful smile. Give a little love and a flower will sprout in your garden, another's garden and all the gardens of all the souls as each touches another. Love effect is exponential and caring in this way is very attractive.