EddieEddie1995

I decided to share little story of how my life changed in past year and a half and video of Me Bungee Jumping hehe After a long struggle of depression I had yet again had one more of those emotionally devastating moments , and that one was where I got scammed for 4k in the US(Work&Travel Program) and that was the money I worked hard for two months. With 4k in Serbia you can live one year without working comfortably and I was negatively motivated for independence at home… So that was my breaking point when I decided who I will be, and I finally chose not to be a Victim. From that moment I new I had to change and take responsibility of my life! The drive for fixing my life was created. I accepted the Life Journey! All this led to everything I tipped below. Bungee Jumping vid-131591018-054832-815-5gafpvsbmp4.compressed.mp4 Here is the Video I decided to face one of my fears and bought a coupon The though of Bungee was excited at first and but I delayed and procrastinated the jump for the last day of my reservation, it was a 3 month coupon The night before the jump came is when I started freaking out. I couldn't sleep that night. When the moment came and I was waiting for the set up my mind went CRAZYY "What em i doing here in the middle of nowhere at 7 am bungee jumping alone? Are you nuts? Lets just go home, its fine, we will do it next time. Lets just turn away and go home. What if the bungee snaps, you are dead!" And all the excuses my mind could project... I did not listen my mind. I hopped in the balloon and it started getting higher and higher . I felt my heart pumping and I got dizzy. The moment came and the guy casually said,us that was hes who knows what flight : "Okay, here is what you are going to do: Put your leg there, and jump over the edge of the balloon and jump" "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THERE IS NO WAY IM JUMPING OVER THERE! EDDIEEEE, DONT DO IIIT,YOU GONNA REGRET THIS ! " My mind was going nuts, i was really scared. I hopped on the edge and said "OKAY, THIS IS IT, IT IS NOW OR NEVER" I knew that if i set there for 5 more seconds i would give up. I just LET GO and JUMPED In an instant the FEAR vanished . I was in the present moment filled with excitement. The first thought that came up after the present moment was "DO IT AGAIN. OMG! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! WHY WAS I SO AFRAID ?" I was really proud of myself , BRAVO EDDIE! I didn't know I was smiling all the way hehehe From that moment i know that the best things in life awaits you is on the other side of fear ! Is taking LSD close to this? Heheheheeh Here are my addictions and achievements after that moment I decided not to be a Victim . Addictions and difficulties i overcome: Cigarets Alcohol Weed Porn Addiction Gambling Gaming Addiction Depression and Suicide Thoughts Junk Food Lost 20 kg Low Self-Esteem Good Guy Syndrome Break up 3 years of toxic relationship and let go of successful business that I started with her the same year,so I could play Football ( that’s a big vision) and everyone laughed at me What I Achieved : Started playing Football again after 7 years(Became my LP) . I made it to FirstTeam after 6 mouths and decided to move to a better Team in other City Reading Books Meditating Fix my diet . Intermittend Fasting and got to be a Vegetarian Yoga and Exercise Nootropics Cold Showers every day NoFAP , SemenRetension - I sometimes wake up at night knowing all the answers I struggled that day Football was a steppingstone for finding my real LP after tearing my meniscus and ligament in my right knee( Ego BackLash from overtraining) Leap of Faith to a new City with limited money and no job so I could work on my LP. (I lived with Toxic Family and in RED/BLUE City with 7k population xD) Removing toxic people from my life Transitioned from toxic Blue/Orange to Orange/Green/Yellow and now working on Teaching Yugoslavia to Actualize, reading SystemsBooks and how I can apply it in 90%Blue country ahhahahahha the transition I made WTF Exploring spirituality and God Got to trip on low dose mushrooms Contemplation Gratitude and Tears of JOY Lucid and Astral Projection Enjoying the Process etc. My goals this year are : Work on past traumas ( I would not get started on those xD) Shamanic BreathWork, Pranayama ,Chakras OMAD VippassanaRetreat LSD trip Launch my Business Healthy Green Relationships Tantric SEX and exploring Sexuality Integrate Green and work on Yellow etc. Yes, I wanted to share my achievments, but what im more proud about is inspiring others to take the journey and believe that everything is possible! I know that all my life and suffering I went through has prepared me for this, like a bamboo tree waiting to break through. And the worst moments in my life are now the best moments that ever happen to me.. Ofcourse I had Homeostasis kicking in every change I made and ofcourse I had Resistance and Backslides but that’s the part of the process. Deciding to go through the hard moments is when life becomes EASY! I would never believe that i will be where i em now. But here i em, and im just getting started! I em really Grateful I accept the Journey and I will never forget that night, I think around 20th May 2019 when I was lonely, because no one could understand me and the path I have taken. I decided to search for a video on How to deal with Loneliness and a weird looking guy with shiny head popped out to make my life really fucking interesting (check the pic on the video xd) @Leo Gura Im Grateful for fining you! Thank you and the Impact you are having on this world! And the people on the forum, thank you for actualizing, being authentic and thus making the world a better place <3 Bigupyourself Love <3

I did intermitted fasting for a year now and I decided to switch to OMAD. The problem I have learned that nootropics break fast,and I usually take them around 10-12 AM on empty stomach because my first meal is around 2pm(I have no sideeffects from taking them on empty stomach and i like the effects better) and I wanna make the most out of them. The thing is that I would like to eat OMAD. Im not trying to lose weight, I just want the benefits of the OMAD diet, and don’t lose time and energy preparing two meals. Is my only option eatng my OMAD in the moring with nootropics? I don't eat in morning for a year now and i don't like it....How do you guys combine nootropics with diet? Is it okay if I break my fast with few calories from the Nootropics and don't ruin the benefits of OMAD ? What breaks fast? I just watched a video that you can break it with tooth paste Should I just stick with intermitted fasting? Em i doing something worong with stacking these noot? I have no side-effects for now... A brief summary of my first time new beginner stack I only experienced a headache from time to time when i take Moda. Modafinil - I take it 5/7 100mg and its too strong for me. I might lower the dose to 50. Troubles falling a sleep. Alpha GPS - Makes me aware, present, in flow Huperzine A - Every other day. Really strong. When i take it at night bust my meditation 5x but i have troubles falling a sleep. I had my first Lucid Dream last night and really weird dreams for the next couple days after taking it. I sometimes take it during the day. L-Theanine - Every day .Helps me maintain my focus after other nootropics wear off, helps with my focus and meditation and i fall a sleep easly. I plan to take one pill in the moring 200mg and one at night with my last meal at 8pm. Sulbutamine - Every other day . I will try taking it daily so i can see when it builds up tolerance. I really like that one. I think it works like Moda but more present. Phosphatidyl serine - Im starting to remember my old dreams, i have flashes of old memories, I learn like a computer ! IM GENIOUS ! Placebo or not i dont care B complex , Vitamin C and Magnesium i take on and off . Im gonna do research on Probiotics . I just LOVE THIS! Im in this creative energy all day! LOVE <3

@Anna1 Ehheehheh Yes!You can find really funny videos on YT There is no better feeling Its the Present Moment, The Flow, The Muse, The Zone, thats what Self-Actualization boils downt to, present moment and no monkey mind, right?

@dimitriThank you Dimitri ! <3

@Amilaer---Hehheheh, lets do it! My knee is getting better Do you play often ? And Thank You! Glad to hear that <3

@YonkonThank you! <3 @CodrinaThank you! <3 @SerotoninluvGlad to hear that! Thank you <3 @Austin ActualizingThank you! I was so highly addicted on this things for about 7 years that led me to a point of i could say "live or die" . What was important for me that I had a vision of playing football again. It was a dream and purpose that motivated me. To play football again i had to lose weight, to lose weight i had to fix my diet, to have condition i had to stop cigarets, to stop cigarets i couldn't drink and things led to another. So first I needed a Vision. Daily Motivation- I watched videos on YT how to stop being lazy and how to hack my brain to do things.How the brain works. I discovered Personal Development , Tony Robins etc. Books. I negotiated with myself - Every bad habit i replaced with other until i got rid of them all.Instead of watching league of egends videos i started watching football, If I quit smoking cigarets its okay for me to smoke weed, if i start cold showers i will go out for few beers etc. I had the mentality if i don't stop now, when? Its only gonna get worse . I could dive deeper at each of the addictions, and the struggles i faced to overcome them but its gonna be a long night writing Do you have problems with some of them?

@King Merk Music to my ears! I will try 4-6 pm today us my first OMAD. Thank you! <3

@Recursoinominado I em trying to work that out too. Thats the phase we need to go through. But I think the best way we can help or communicate with someone is to grow ourselfs, have better understanding of SD and how ego works . I read Life Coach books and communication books from Leos book list. I think im improving a lot Personally for me to grow I needed someone to challenge my ego and tell me some stuff that I didn't want to hear so i could force myself to think like @remember said . So i think its okay if you trigger someone, i think thats the process of growth. And i think that through practice you can see when and where you are getting out of line and your words are not helping, and that to is relative haha Its so confusing this stuff, you never know when you are helping or not, maybe you are not in the short term but you are in the long term . I don't know what is the point of my comment here hahahaha Oh yes something i wanna add. The people I triggered with so cold "hard truth", 80% came back indirectly asking for advice and respecting my authenticity i feel What i realized is that the more authentic i em, the more i contribute @remember I will work on my chakras. Thank you !

@Bno @Serotoninluv Keep it coming guys, this is getting really interesting hehehehhe

@cetus56 Slowly getting there

After i increased the time of my meditation i noticed that i have ringing in my ears and it was interesting because i though i had more awareness and im meditating better(which was the case i think). Few days ago I started experimenting with Modafinil and two weeks ago i tried 0.8 mushrooms which it may or not be related but since then i think my meditation got better and now I have ringing in my ears all the time. It doesn't bother me and it feels nice actually. So last night I tried to focus on the sound more and see whats going on, after few minutes the sound got stronger and stronger and its like i was on that mushroom trip again, i experienced that feeling of the present moment and the beauty of it! Us the sound got louder and deeper I got afraid and uncomfortable and like something snapped and i got out of that trance(it was the same with the mushroom trip when i realized that im still afraid to dig deeper and experience with stronger dose). I was so happy that i had the present moment again but i didn't know how much it last, maybe one minute or maybe 20 min, next time i will set a timer. Also this may or not be connected, few days ago I focused on the sound while trying to get a nap I was on Modafinil again, it was wearing off , and I had OBE again for the second time that week, which i didnt have for 6-7 years . It lasted short, but for the first time i was conscious and excited for it, not afraid like before I don't know how all this is connected but i wanted to share my story of ringing ears heheehe I red on another thread someone wrote that the noise might be wrong diet and neck problems so im working on that too and I will see what will turn out to be Any thoughts? Advise? <3

@cetus56This doesn't relate to this topic but in our Serbian tradition there is a saying Two Rakijas(Home made alcohol)are a lot, but tree are not enough,the point of no return heheheheheeh

@Nahm100% and 0% heheheheeh Last week, one guy tried to kill himself by running into my car, luckily i menage to avoid him and not crush... I never thought it could happen to me(i could kill a guy, or die in a accident).What i learned is that I should be more grateful, don't worry about pity problems and live the best that I can, you never know what could happen to you, but why spend your life worrying when you can be happy and grateful (Im convincing myself to take lsd, because, you never know when you gonna goo hehehehe:D )

@Identity Just thinking of that naive look, begging to be dominated makes me text my ex girlfriend now

Orange triggered by Blue

If Blue can, maybe Orange can

Reading this Topic reminded me of this XDD

@Lento Hehehhe, not the way i wanted when i was on the 0.8g trip, I was considering, why can't i just eat a mushroom every hour for the rest of my life, its not like im tripping or something, this is for sure more true then sober and deluded me ehhehe One more question for you Lento Can i confuse this state and desire for it for negative motivation? Because i feel that I just can't continue my life without finding out the Truth and i will never be fulfilled not knowing it? (maybe orange and deluded side talking) I will contemplate this more tmrw Thanks man!

@Lento I will. thank you. Right now Im trying to figure out do i really want to experiment with psychedelics, i tried recently 0.8 g mushrooms and I realized that im full of shit, and I don't have a clue what im getting myself into... Although the trip was Amazing, i wanted to stay in that state forever, present moment and stuff... Im confused and full of shit and i like it

@Leo Gura Hhahahaha, I think not, are you sarcastic? Yes you are... I gotta research now @Lento The one we are talking about here i guess I did't have one yet I was just doing Leos course on negative motivation and it turned out my Orange side wants pleasureee and stuff So i guess i might be deluded like Sam here who knows hehehe

@TrynaBeTurquoise Of course practice is fundamental. There is a difference when you are thinking what is your next step going to be , and every negative belief and pressure that you have(should i do that or not do that, what if i miss the shot etc)while playing the game and its completely different when you are in the flow/zone, you don't think, you just act whats the best in the moment . The best players are the best because they know how to get in the zone mixed with practice and talent ofc @Raptorsin7 I usually do visualizations and affirmations day before the game . Before the game starts i try not to think, I focus on my breath I trust what I can do and let carried over by the game

Every time you shift your awareness/focus the dots move, its in between your awareness on you breath, moving your fingers, blinking your eyes etc. and the awareness/focus on the dots moving. You can't focus on both. I guess

I had one more of these weird and scary dreams that I had in my teenage years! I would wake up unable to move my body, and sometimes when I tried to force waking up I had sharp pain in my stomach and my teeth chattering , the scary part was when I felt someone is touching me or running around in my bad, I was freaked out! I was scared falling back a sleep. I can't remember and how this is connected but somehow I wake up, go wash my face, talk to my parents(it was kinda vague every time), and I just fall back floating in my room unable to move and scared of whats happening and I wake up, only to repeat this cycle again/ I couldnt know wheter I was awake or not at first. The more I was afraid of it, the more it happened and so I decided to relax when I had this paralyzed and floating experiences. I started taking some control of it, I kinda knew that I was dreaming even I falsely wake up, and after some experimentation I tried getting out through my bedroom walls. Every time I tried it I woke up for real. One night I did it and I manage to fly . And they stopped. After 7-8 years it happened again, and holly shit I was scared I "woke up" paralyzed again, when trying to get up I had sharp pain in my head that was unwilingly controling my arms I was like holly SHIT ! I remebered that happened to me years back and I relaxed, us soon I relaxed I woke up and went to tell my parents that I have a headache, and they ware awake in the middle of the night in the living room(I was kinda suspicious) I had conversation with them of what happened and I want to go to the doctor and stuff and my teeth started chattering again, I remamber was a dream and I woke up. All that time I didn't know what is going on and that there was a thing called Astral Projection and Lucid Dreaming. Did you guys had similar experiences? I will for sure start doing more research

@cetus56 Well it didn't happen when i was awake and facing these stressful situations in my life, it happen when i was about to fall a sleep i guess.

@Emerald When i was in my teen years the most of them happen when i was in a lot of stress.Especially when my Perents were arguing a lot, and my mother had really nasty epileptic attacks. I think that was kind of a escape... I recently after many years had one more, and im exited to experiment more on this subject Astral Projection/Lucid Dreaming/Paralyses Im now looking around how to trigger them again even though im kinda scared hehe