EddieEddie1995

I realized how my mind is cherry-picking stories that fit my survival . And at this point I can see how everyone is doing the same, which helped me treat people and myself better. Doing inner work is helping me heal my traumas, forgive myself and others, and open my heart. So im breaking down my ideologies and I see how I dismissed every nasty and cruel things people do. I subconsciosly turn away from horror movies, animal cruelty and ofc justify my selfishness. So this is creating stronger duality that is counterproductive to raising my consciousness and accepting reality. My question is: How can I love a pedophile rapist? I know that what he is doing is the same thing as what I em doing , and our experiences led us to where we are now . But how that healing process begins within me? Do I just watch all the nasty stuff that my ego doesn't want to see until I start loving that part within me? How do you deal with this? Any video or book recommendations? Also, attachment to ideas/sensations create suffering . Lets say I drop the idea that i need to work and create . That idea is dropped within the mind, and the mind knows that it can pick the ideas back up. So dropping that idea of me needing the job to survive creates more freedom and creativity at my job. But its not me really dropping the idea that i need to work. Me dropping the idea is not actually working? Or whatever I hold as something that I "need" or "love" to do ...? Im confused Im holding my ideas loosly because i know they are relative, and im open for someone to give me a better idea . So you pick ideas that is making your life better until you transcend the mind? Until you accept reality is illusion?And I can't deal with rapist Shit

That means that they are perfect to. Just little more unconscious that I em . Haha this is confusing

@Chakra Lion I em Enough! I will! Thank you <3

So the love that i exp is just a positive emotion? So in this case positive emotion brings flow, and raises consciousness , in my case, the bigger fear I confront the bigger positive emotion i have . So the whole spectrum of emotions is good, nesesesery . The Love you are talking about I need to have mystical exp to realize? So I just observe what is? Well, fuck you then, pig love that haha Okay, so I em experiencing spectrum of emotions that are fucked up by the mind. All I can do is to be aware . But how can I know what pure love is? If its now, then its wanting a joint That is what im trying to do. I don't want this thoughts about this feelings to cloud my growth . I see how to much empathy can do worse then good. And thank you for that! Okay, but i have no direct exp of it . In my contemplation i realized that me chasing to be somebody, to become enlightened etc. it means that im not enough now, so accept whatever it is now, okaaay .But this is the path I need to take . Learn, meditate and introspect . What would you do? To you now it doesnt matter because you can see the beauty everywhere, but I don't. But yes, it is just how i think of it. So awareness, awareness, awareness... Most of the things you wrote im struggling to understand so... Thank you !

@Nahm Well, at first i left them a note on the doorsteps where I wrote what happened to me and the traumas i had to go thorugh when my father was beating us. It was nice message imo I tried not to trigger them. Then one time I went downstairs to help them out becaose I heard noise and screams , the wife and their kids were leaving him .The kids were crying and he wanted to confront me but he was to afraid to look at me, he was to angry and afraid . I help them out to move away from him and offered her and her kids a ride to her perents house and she refused . I told her to not come back but i knew she would. I feel so bad for the kids . I wanted to go and talk to him. He needs a hug but he is afraid and bitter stage red/blue guy, and I don't want to get in any more trouble. I guess this is how things are and i have to accept the reality where people suffer daily...

@NahmJust got my Dream Board! Hehe

@Nahm Thoughts about the rapist . But direct exp with abuser who beats hes wife. Im contemplating now on this , and I see that it is how i think of it. But how do I deal with the negative emotion? For example i can hear him arguing with her downstairs and hes kid crying in terror . What is for me there to do? How do I deal with the negative emotion? Thank you !

@Hello from RussiaThis is exactly why i told my friend who suggested me to watch The Witcher that im tired of watching the hero kills the villain story. But now, you changed my mind Jesus, I love when someone gives such good examples...Thank you wise folks! This forum is pushing me grow so fast that my feet can't catch up holly shit, I can be groundless now, holly shit, i can fly!

@TruthandPurposeGreat short film! You inspired me to share my art and my message... There is no way stopping you now hehe Keep it up and like Leo keeps reminding us "you don't know whats possible for you" <3 I think Leo won't care, and this is what he wants, to use hes teachings hehe

@AwakenedSoul444 Thanks ! I have good mental health then

I think that is the case too. And also not only hes business can get into problems if they start brining up "we are all one" but hes ego wants to keep all the goodies He likes bringing up dmt and spirituality only to the point where is framed like I "know that life is a mistery and i dont know shit" so when the guys that havent tried psychedelics say a "fact" about something that he "objectively" understands but likes hes pov better ofc he imo defends it like this "yeah yeah i know your perspective but, have you tried dmt?" and he perfected the art of changing a subject, he knows how to do hes job! this is the shady stuff i cherry picked. I love Joe and hes Art <3 what do you guys think? this is a projection of my defence mechanisms that im dealing with right now I think that if Leo wants to market Actualized.org he would find ways to do it better? Even go on JRE I agree with you, i think that people are not ready for what he has to say, and why would he jump stages on hes podcast to not offend the egos, when all he has to say is on Actualized.org?

Keep it up! <3 I can't imagine what you had to go through... But here you are, shining ! <3

Great topic! Do you need to integrate orange/green/yellow before you go hard core spirituality? @AwakenedSoul444 Is that what you mean by psychological health?

Plan your day before you get to bed , play some music and dance when you wake up, do push ups, take a cold shower and meditate

@Hugo Oliveira You couldn't said it any better... This glimps that i had also made me see my selfishness , my "spiritual ego" and "personal development" lance that i was projecting onto the world, a perspective that is linked to my survival, actions and escape to get fulfillment...I held this role so hard, that I was ready to justify anything ... HOLLY SHIT ! Im only now entering the rabbit hole ! Im kinda sick to my stomach of how easily we can fall into this trap for the rest of our life's! And yet so freeing, you can atleast see your own bullshit at play...

After about a year of meditating I finally got to the point where I could observe the observer , where the observer was just focusing on my breath or sound.But now I got to the point where I can observe it all, where I could see my thoughts,emotions and body. I was detached I think. I was fully present for 30 min , us before that, my awareness(observer) got interrupted by my thoughts. After that meditation session I went to take a shit , and for the first time I decided not to take my phone , be present and relaxed hahaa because I always have problems, hemorrhoids, and feeling like giving birth every time I shit… let me tell you, I had the best shit of my life, it was so smooth and nice, it even smelled good LOL That is off topic, but my point here is "Do everything with meditation, even when you are taking a shit" All this led me to look myself in the bathroom mirror. "I em so beautiful, not just my face, but my creation, but who em I?" I could feel my heart bit rising "I em awareness of this body/ego" I wanted to look away and go on with what I was doing, but I observed… "Ahaaa, so all this time I was saying yeah yeah, I know im not my emotions and thoughs , but you know , here I em, lets keep doing what we are doing, we gotta make a living and survive so it doesnt matter" It’s a defence mechanism that is stopping me to go deeper . I started getting dizzy and my heart was pumping harder. But now I could observe what was going on, and it hit me. "This is an spiritual ego just trying to be somebody, fighting to reduce suffering by actualizng … and it had no difference, even if It didn’t, from awareness pov it was all perfect , but yet again from the egos pov it never will, that’s why it decides to self-actualize or whatever to reduce suffering and increase love, until it leads to this…" I started crying and feeling sorry for myself, but not for myself only, but for the people who don’t realize that they are perfect us they are,but keep trying to be somebody… My face in the mirror started to move into weird shapes, I could see my cloths moving I got afraid and stopped doing what I was doing. Believes that my spiritual ego have is necessary to get myself killed i mean ego When you think you know something, is to know that you are tricked and you have no clue Is this where my true spiritual work begins? I have a glimpse of how I can live with awareness, without attachment to my ego, I can still create what I love, make for a living , continue my LP even more authenticly and observe all of this with peace and no judgement …??? I can feel the ego-backlash coming , but I think my ego is going to be in trouble soon hahahha Just sharing what happened … Please share your pov of my pov hehe Love you <3

@VeganAwake Thank you! Well, its going to fall away with LSD soon... Im scared, but thats the egos job right...

@OmniYoga What if this is the belief needed to get thinks started? lol Everyone is scared from the thought of being God, but not of taking a shit with awareness

@Johnny5 I agree , even if i don't know what you meant .

@Recursoinominado I love your response ! You said so much in one sentence...

I found my Life Purpose and I know what I want to create. I have 3k$ that will last me for one year in my Country. So I don't have to worry for now .I have books and Nootropics for one year.(its good I have my drugs checked haha) I know that working on my LP Business will take me few years until I realize it and start making profit. To make it work I want to keep doing what im doing now, because I enjoy it and my LP depend on it. What im doing now and need to learn for my LP: Contemplating and raising consciousness - I want to Teach Work on Emotional IQ and Trauma's - ShamanicBreath work etc. Spirituality etc. Shooting Videos - little experience/good ideas Editing skills - 0 experience/good ideas Scripting - 0 experience/good ideas Communication skills - 3/10 …and everything that comes with that… To support all that I could do it for only 350$ a month Options I would like as a hobby and earn profit Therapy/Life Coach/ShamanicBreathing(that was my plan before I had to move from home) To get LC certificate I need around 3000$. What im now thinking is to start practicing with my peers and whoever wants to share their emotions and problems . Im willing to learn to listen, see the traps they have fallen into and reflect, give them love and understanding, try to give them tips that might help them, this will help with my communication skills, and it will be my socialization time not wasted But the problems is it will take time until I start making money(I would do it for free until I can give myself authorization to charge) and hard because I don’t have a "diploma/certificate" to justify my knowledge and exp. Also Shamanic Breathing instructor. All this is possible, but need time and money. Start editing online which will synchronize with my LP - but I have 0 exp. Write a high conscious blog, improve my english and writing - 0 exp. Options I have for now: I can start teaching english to chinese kids online - This will improve my communication and grammar Crypto Trader sounds interesting for me where I will learn about diagrams and systems - but 0 exp. I can't be sure when I will make or loose money I could sell my car and expand life spam to one more year Grossery, gym and nature is in 2km radius I'm trying to be strategic here. Im trying to buy time so I can improve my mastery skills needed to develop my business , but I have pressure from my money traumas and independence that is knocking on my door and interrupting my creativity and focus. I can spare 3-4 hours a day for a job that will make me 350$ so I can work and balance everything out. Its so simple and its only 350… I feel like my solution is just around the corner…. waiting for me! Maybe to see my situation more clearer. I feel like Joseph Campbell in a cabin. I just need to survive for 2-3 years… I try not to get distracted … Do you guys have any tips of what I wrote? Do you see mistakes in my thinking here? Should I put LP on a side for now and work on money problem first? Do you have any job suggestions that will fit my profile? Is anyone looking to invest couple 1000$ in soon to be yellow guy? XDDD It’s a good investment haha Maybe I should start writing some interesting stories on GoFundMe or something hmmmmm … ehhehehe I Appreciate your time for reading this! Thank you! <3

@pluto Thank you for posting pluto! I will research the info you posted ! Can you give a example on your diet? When do you eat? What do you eat? Do you fast? What supplements do you take, when and why?

@UncreatedBut everything is One! So doesn't really matter

This is brilliant ! Perfect example ! LOL

@Anna1 Hhahaahah, she liked it Wanna do it again? YES !