r0ckyreed

That’s actually a very helpful distinction. Something can start off as non-conformity or authentic desire and be turned into conformity. Joining a group can be done for non-conformist ways, but being part of the group in most cases requires a degree of conformity. If you don’t conform to group, you are kicked out. Some people’s authentic desire may be in almost perfect alignment with the group, but this seems rare. Even a gardening club would require a degree of conformity. But also, some things can start off from conformity and turn into nonconformity such as spirituality because your parents forced you and then you finding your own authentic passion within spirituality independent of others.

He may like it, but he still has to act like a conformist zombie to be in the military. Just because you love your conformity doesn’t make it not.

Add Kriya Yoga and Kundalini to the conformity list. It’s definitely conformist and so is the whole chakra system. Awakening isn’t chakras and Kriya Yoga. The only reason why you do Kriya Yoga is because you heard from others that it would produce awakening most likely. However, there are non-conformist ways of doing Yoga, but it seems mostly conformist. Edit: Following the Eight Fold Path in Buddhism is also conformity.

Hello everyone! Here is an article that I wrote and will have published. Seasonal affective disorder is real, so stay vigilant and positive. Help is here for you. Hope you find this useful. —January, the month of transformation and where we reflect on our values, goals and ways we can grow in the future. For some, the idea of a “New Year’s Resolution” can be daunting. Some people do not set goals because of the fear and belief that they won’t achieve them. But feeding the fear and belief of failure tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy that will prevent one from achieving real success and fulfillment. Goal-setting is a skill that has the potential to be transformative in your everyday life. How can you hit a target you cannot see? One of the common signs of depression and anxiety is the struggle to look forward into the future with hope and positive regard. In addition, negativity bias makes it easier to view the future in a negative light. In this article, I will share with you principles/techniques that, if applied, will help you not only set andachieve goals, but willalso allow you to uncover lasting fulfillment. 1. Audit your habits and create better ones Take the time to reflect on your daily habits, including the things you do, don’t do, and the thoughts you think. Notice the habits you do that get in the way of your fulfillment (i.e., doomscrolling, drug use, negative thinking), as well as the habits that you may already do that support your wellness. Then, consider taking gradual steps to let go of the old habits and replace them with new helpful habits(i.e., journaling, meditation, exercise, art/music, nature immersion, etc.). 2. Make time for solitude and self-reflection One of the keys to finding purpose and fulfillment is tohave deep knowledge of yourself and your own values. Making adequate time for solitude and self-reflection is one way of developing your own self-knowledge. Take out a journal and examine the issues and dreams you may be avoiding. Make a bucket list and write down the things you want to do before you die. Contemplate your own mortality and focus on your priorities, values, and dreams. There is no shortcut to self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is a lifelong process that one needs to confront consistently. 3. Simplify your long-term goals and set small daily goals Break down large, long-term goals into small daily goals. The practice of setting small daily goals can be more practical than trying to accomplish something big. For example, in addition to setting the goal of writing a book, you could break it down into small goals such as writing 500 words a day or 3,000 words a week. The same principle can apply to exercise, finance, and anything else you can think of. 4. Clarify your motivation Motivation can be defined as an internal drive that gives purpose and direction to a certain behavior (“The Psychology of Motivation,” 2025). Motivation can be extrinsic (doing something for a reward) or intrinsic (because you love it). Studies show that intrinsic motivation leads to more fulfillment and a greater chance of success than extrinsic motivation (“The Psychology of Motivation,” 2025). Be clear about your motivations and consistently review them. 5. Set SMART Goals and HARD Goals SMART goals are goals thatare Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Timely. Here are some questions you can answer to tell whether your goal is a SMART goal: What do you want to accomplish? Can you measure your progress and know when your goal is achieved? Does your goal describe an action you will need to take? Is your goal achievable while still being challenging? Does your goal have a deadline? In addition, HARD goals are goals that are (1) Heartfelt, a goal you deeply care about; (2) Animated, a goal that you can visualize clearly like a movie; (3) Required, a goal that feels urgently necessary; and (4) Difficult, a goal that is challenging and puts you outside of your comfort zone (“Smart Goals and Intrinsic Motivation,” n.d.). 6. Cultivate Mindfulness Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness is the skill of observation that allows you to notice details that others may overlook. How aware are you of the beauty around you? Take moments throughout your day to notice the small things that make life beautiful such as the smell of a flower, the sound of a bird, the taste of a strawberry, the feeling of tree bark, or the sight of a blue lake. If we don’t practice mindfulness, we may find ourselves zoned out, dull,forgetful, and dissociated from our experience of life. Conclusion As you go about your way, navigating through the new year, remember to be kind to yourself. Change isn’t always easy. Measure your success by the small wins each day. Fulfillment isn’t just something you create in the future. It is the attitude through which you perceive your present situation. References The psychology of motivation: What drives us to succeed? (2025, October 20). Penn LPS Online. https://lpsonline.sas.upenn.edu/features/psychology-motivation-what-drives-us-succeed Smart goals and intrinsic motivation. (n.d.). McGill University – Campus Life & Engagement. https://www.mcgill.ca/engineering/files/engineering/smart_goals_and_intrinsic_motivation.pdf

Women changing their last name to their husband’s.

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Being “polite”. Some Bible thumper caught me at a grocery store and I stood there listening to him instead of telling him to f*ck off and leave. Conformity on his part and mine.

But there is conscious conformity such as being moral. A hero is conscious conformity in a sense. Or even the example of knowing that religion is bullshit but still going to church anyways because you value upholding tradition. You can be aware of your own conformity but still choose it.

Another example is theater. All acting is conformity.

What are you talking about? Borat is extremely conformist. Here is one example out of many:

Yes! Good. I didn’t see your post before I made mine. Great minds think alike! Oh wait, that’s conformist parroting too! However, questioning isn’t conformist. You’re wrong there.

Kriya Yoga, Pranayama, Supreme Fire is largely conformist. Most people are just following the techniques from others without question. You could say that about 90% of meditation techniques. Just note where you learned to meditate and why you meditate really. Why do you do pranayama? Ive been trying to say this for a long time but nobody here agrees and it is that Buddhism is group-think conformity and so are many meditation traditions. Of course, there’s still value in meditation/Buddhism whether youre conformist about it or not.

@Leo Gura I had a discussion about conformity with my friend and we came to the conclusion that something is conformity if you didn’t spend time thinking through it yourself and having your own authentic motivation. For instance, you do Wim Hof breathing because you find it beneficial vs. doing it because people say it’s good for you. I remember playing trumpet out of conformity because my dad and friend did it. But it eventually became something that I authentically loved. So something that starts off as conformity could end in finding an interest I would’ve never discovered.

@Leo Gura I remember you saying somewhere that you have lived in Austin and Boston. What made you decide to leave Texas to go to Las Vegas? Not enough dating opportunities? How did you adjust to the changes involved in moving?

I am auditing my life at this point. I live in Oklahoma and has been my hometown for my whole life. I am considering moving out of Oklahoma sometime within the next 2-3 years. I am considering living near the Coast because I value being in proximity to nature (oceans/mountains) and vibrant city life. Where would you live in the USA if you could choose?

How did you decide you wanted to pick Vegas? To me, Vegas seems like a nice place to visit but not someplace I would want to live. My idea is a balance of access to nature and city opportunities while living in a suburban small/college town. I think culture is also an essential factor as well. I know I want to be around nature, vibrant city, and universities. I am looking at Oregon, Washington, Asheville, NC, Connecticut, Rhode Island. Once I pick my general area (west or east coast) then I will be more specific about neighborhood. I want to get the area right (access to mountains, oceans, vibrant city opportunities, university liberal culture, etc.) and then I will get more clear. What was your process?

A-freakin-men. Thanks for your support. I will keep contemplating and try to narrow it down 5 areas. I’m considering Oregon for west coast and Massachusetts for east coast. But I’ll try to keep my mind open. Thanks.

The area I’m at I think I’ve outgrown. I’ve lived in Oklahoma my whole life. I want an area with more abundance of nature opportunities. If I lived where I’m at for the next 5-10 years, I think I’d have regrets of not experiencing a new environment altogether. I met a famous rock climber in Yosemite (Ron Kauk), he talked about growing up in the valley and how he had access to rock climbing, wilderness camping and all the beauty of Yosemite as a kid. It was inspirational. I’m at the ideal job but not ideal environment. I’d like to be around like-minded people. I also would like to get out of the red state Bible Belt culture.

Thanks mate. 🙏

Thanks. I figured so. That’s what I did on my Oregon and Washington road trip. I think my next steps now are to narrow down specific towns, apartments, and jobs. It is so hard when I really love the job position I have now. Coworkers and work culture is amazing. I have so much freedom and that is hard to leave.

@Leo Gura Since you’ve moved around a lot. Do you have any general advice for someone like me who hasn’t moved or lived anywhere else? Any traps to avoid? I will start looking up different neighborhoods in the cities I’m interested in. I’m pretty clear about what I want. I think it’s just planning it all out and taking action that’s the hard part. Such as if I have to secure a job before moving or move and then secure a job. I know with my profession and experience, I’ll be able to find work anywhere. Thanks. Anybody else have any tips and traps to avoid for moving out of hometown/homestate?

NYC is good to visit, but the idea of living there seems like it would be a nightmare for me. It’s just too many people, overcrowded, and everywhere looks the same after a while. It’s just a concrete jungle.

True. And also a place to find my career as an Existential EMDR Therapist. I care deeply about being near coast and mountains (having an abundance of outdoor activities) along with a vibrant city life. Gotta try to find an apartment in a good area that’s not in the noisy downtown and is affordable. Where would you want to live?

Yeah! I vacationed there and it was awesome! Just gotta find a spot not centered in the busy city. I’m sure I’ll be able to find a mental health counseling job there.