r0ckyreed

Be a King of all trades. Master of all. Excellence is a way of life.

The Self and Christmas are as real as this room you are imagining right now.

Hello. I’m just honestly sexually/intimately frustrated right now. It sucks because a lot of women would rather be with someone who is physically and sexually abusive to them than to be with a nice guy like me who is very feminine/masculine balanced. Some women say they want a man who is willing to be vulnerable with them. But when such a guy does this, they leave him and go to a masculine man who will abuse the shit out of them. I feel like I am too autistic, feminine, and empathic to be attractive to women. Women do not flirt or approach me at all. I usually never approach women because I know they deal with a lot of guys just trying to get into their pants. I am not interested in that but building intimate companionship. This is even on dating apps. I did not get very many likes. I just don’t get what women want, and I am starting to think that they don’t know either. I know what I want. I want an assertive woman who knows what she wants and who doesn’t conform to the BS social norms and tradition of men always having to make the first move. It just frustrates me that some women preach about challenging the patriarchy but then it seems to me like many of these same women still end up with these sexist, masculine men. Dating apps are pointless and it seems like going to bars as well. I feel so alone when I am at the bars. It is like nobody cares that I exist. Gosh. I am crying now as I write this. It just sucks because I am a nice guy and any woman would be lucky to have me as a partner. But instead they go to those Gaston men or even the Le Fou type of men who aren’t athletically built at all. I have been going to the gym doing strength training 5 days a week every day at 5am. It is right now one of the main activities I do that keeps me grounded and gives me a sense of purpose/connection other than my career. Sorry for the rant. This isn’t suppose to be a hate post/speech but rather frustration that I do not feel like I matter and am not seen. My autism holds me back because it is hard for me to pick up on subtle cues sometimes but it helps me thrive in many other areas of my life. I guess I am going to try to let go of my attachment to ever being in a romantic relationship. Relationships and love is a gamble. My last girlfriend dumped me because I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids in my future. This is one of the main areas of my life that I don’t understand. Hell, it is hard for me to even make just basic friends. I don’t want to change who I am because I love who I am. I just don’t get why other people don’t see me the way I see myself. I mean I check every box. I am athletic, musician, philosophically inclined, empathic/kind, I meditate, I am adventurous, and I go to the gym and more. I don’t know. If anyone has feedback or experiences something similar, let me know. Thanks.

Thanks man! Any suggestions on how to start this small-talk stuff with people who are already engaging in conversations? Maybe I could approach a few women talking and saying "Excuse me, am I interrupting something? How is your night so far? What do you call a Cow who is afraid to talk? Cow-Word (Coward)."

Thanks everyone for your responses so far! I have read them all and am still going to try to implement each of them. My plans are to go out this coming Friday to karaoke night. I consider myself really good at singing and dancing. I was thinking of using this to my advantage and going to karaoke and then going to a country dancing bar. I will try to just learn how to enjoy myself alone in a crowd of people and then approach women to dance and then talk to them at karaoke. When I was first writing this post, I was very emotional but am now thinking more logically. I am reframing it as people are too afraid to approach me because of my great looks and personality rather than because I am a worthless human. I just have to realize that people are too afraid to initiate with me and I can grow my courage by initiating. I realize that initiating will help me with my confidence, and I can still feel valued by women depending on how they respond to my initiation. Any other suggestions?

Thanks. I have been reading that. Sometimes, it just feels weird going out by myself. Not sure how I can go around about this. I guess just brute force?

You got a good point. That's what we were saying as we were breaking up. My love was strong for her, but not enough to compromise my values. And she was the same. Thanks for your wisdom. It sounds to me then that women actually want to be approached by me but they are more nervous as I am. So what I will try to do then is go up to one and say "Hey I am Rocky. How is your night so far? I am doing well as well! I absolutely love philosophy and questioning reality. What about you? What do you find most amazing about reality?" I will try something like that. Thanks.

Thanks. The part that frustrates me is I have spent hours contemplating if I want kids or not, and right now, the answer is Hell No! But I am not sure if kids is something I will want in the future. My ex-girlfriend and I both agreed that we didn't want kids now, but in her later 30s. I am not sure if I will grow into wanting kids someday or if my attitudes right now will be the same. 10 years ago, I wanted to have kids, but now at 27, I want to do everything I can to avoid having kids. My ex-girlfriend said that was the reason why she didn't have sex with me was because of me not wanting kids. But you are right. She is incompatible to me and my goals. And it was the right thing for us to break up. I just feel defeated because I have not met many women that don't want children. The main reason why I don't want children right now is all of the responsibility and sacrifice. Freedom/Adventure is one of my highest values in life, and I don't see having kids right now as helping to fulfill that value.

I just feel lost when approaching. I just feel awkward and feel like a nerd who is just chasing pussy. I don’t want to do that. Everybody in the bar is talking to everyone and it just feels creepy just going up to random people I don’t know to converse with. I am not a very social person. After thinking about it, me being able to approach without resistance would be a great confidence and social skill. I am open to learning how to do this more and more effectively. However, it still helps if women at least help make themselves more approachable. I approached one woman and took her for ice cream because she smiled at me and kept looking at me. That’s easy approach. It is harder when they make it feel like I don’t matter if I am dead or alive by not looking at me, smiling at me, giving me attention, etc.

I am scared, but I also am tired of playing this game of me always initiating things. Women do not flirt or show interest in me period. Why would I approach them just coldly if they do not seem warm to begin with? Why do we still have to live in traditional times where men always ask women out. We need to challenge the patriarchy and the gender roles. I am just tired of this game of me having to chase women. All of the women I have been with were from them approaching me or initiating interest in someway. I don’t know what has changed since those times. I guess I was at the right place at right time. I honestly have better things to do than approach 1000 women. I am really just interesting in landing 1. But if I have to get her attention and initiate everything, then I don’t see the point. I don’t feel love that way. I feel valued when women express interest in someway.

Me being vulnerable and telling her I was not sure about if I wanted children or not was one of the reasons for the end of that relationship. But I am glad I was authentic enough to state how I was feeling because now I know that her love for me wasn’t as strong as her desire for children.

Thanks. The thing that frustrates me is that I have to initiate everything to get something going. I feel more valued when I don’t always have to initiate.

Thanks. I have already been crying it out, but I am still faced with the same reality. My previous relationship doesn’t hurt anymore. What hurts more is realizing that I am not desirable/attractive as I am. And I don’t want to change who I am for women because that kind of change wouldn’t be conducive. I don’t want to have to manipulate myself and others to just get a basic relationship going. It’s a sad truth that men who are great manipulators will get all the women on their knees. Whereas nice guys (more feminine guys) finish last.

So, what exactly is this main thing then? Also, how are vulnerability and weakness not the same? I thought vulnerability is your ability to show weakness - the opposite of toxic masculinity.

But “bad” is an illusion. It is just your personal judgment. No art is bad. God can be found in shit as well as gold. If you see bad in reality, then you are in Devil Consciousness and aren’t in God Consciousness and therefore aren’t awake. There is art I don’t care for, but that is my bias and has nothing to do with the art itself. I would also argue that everyone is an artist because God is everyone. I don’t see how you come to your conclusions here. If Hitler is an artist, then Seth Godin is as well. Hell, he even writes and moves people through his words just like you do. Art is everything. This computer is art and even this post and forum is art.

Spirituality is a lifelong journey.

It’s not about body count. It’s about God Count.

Space raccoons are a human fiction that you just imagined. It isn’t outside consciousness at all. Even the idea of other sovereign bubbles is also an idea inside consciousness. It’s all an illusion.

Would you like to share this wisdom in this thread?

You need a structured routine to give your life meaning. Read the 5am Club by Robin Sharma.

So, I have made several posts about this topic, and I have been wanting to discuss the matter again after Leo's Blog Post on Liberal Vs. Conservativism Simulation with the Global and Local Maxima concepts. So, here I go. But first, you must watch the video to get the idea of global and local maxima. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p11-oggW1E&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Factualized.org%2F&source_ve_path=MTc4NDI0 The thing is that when you awaken, you will think you have reached the global maxima, but in reality you are still at a local maxima. There is no getting rid of that self-deception. It is kind of impossible to awaken to a true global maxima because reality is infinite and your human form will always be finite. The reason why I say "kind of impossible" is because I think it is possible to awaken global maximally, but it is through physical death. You see, when you awaken and reach a high state of truth and understanding, human survival puts constraints on the degrees of awakening possible. Just being a human is already an inherent limitation on consciousness. Just think about an alien state of intelligence and how they may have significant degrees of understanding of reality than we do. Now, think of an ant. Do you think that an ant could ever reach an awakened state compared to a human? No! It can only reach an awakened state relative to being an ant. But what would that even look like? We cannot even imagine this because we are not an ant. Now, do you think a human could reach an awakened state of consciousness? Yes? Relative to what? The awakened state you have as a human will be no more deeper than that of an ant because reality is infinite. You will have an alien who will already have a deeper understanding of reality than you ever will. And then there will be another type of alien who has an even deeper understanding and so on and so on. Awakening seems to be only applied to the species. When we say Leo is Awake, we are essentially saying that he has reached a high level of understanding compared to the average human level of consciousness. When we say Leo is Awake, we are not saying that he is global maximally Awake, but he is local maximally awake because there are still infinite degrees of awakening. Buddhism is a local maxima even though there are some Buddhists will think the Buddha was global maximally awake. The same with Jesus and the same with Leo. Do you see the problem? Awakening is relative in a sense because there will always be higher levels of awakenings. So that means that one awakening you have will be relative to a higher or lower awakening that you could have. For instance, no-self is a form of awakening, but it isn't the highest. Understanding how God exists, what reality is, and why there is evil/conflict is another type of awakening that you have. And all of those insights will be affected and constrained by the limitations of human understanding and the influence of human survival. The paradox is Leo is now talking about genetics impacting relationships/sexuality, but I still think genetics is overlooked when it comes to spirituality. Our human genes and brain already limit our understanding of reality because these were created by Reality. Do you think we can ever comprehend Reality with the brain and genes that reality gave us? I am basically using Leo's argument that "Brains Do Not Exist" against itself here. If our brain is imaginary and if understanding happens through a functioning imaginary brain and imaginary genetics, then any awakening produced will also be imaginary? I tried to explain this concept via Godel's Incompleteness Theorem and now I have explained it via Global/Local Maxima. I am not sure how else I can explain this insight to you all. But the global and local maxima I think is the closest idea that I can think of to illustrate that there is no final or global maxima awakening. Leo is awake relative to the human species and 3D perception. An alien is awake relative to the alien species at a 4D or whatever dimension. Death is the absolute awakening because that is the moment where the finite form merges back into the Infinite Source. The finite form can never grasp the whole. Reality is infinitely mysterious. What are your thoughts? What am I missing?

1. I would say that just because you haven’t found anything beyond doesn’t mean you have reached the end and can say you have reached a global maxima. A lot of people claim to reach a global maxima, so how is this any different than someone who is self-deceived? I don’t think my point has been answered that there are infinite degrees of awakening and Solipsism, Infinity Gods, and Alien Consciousness are not global maximas because there are still infinite more insights to be had. Those are local maximas because those insights are still blind men touching an elephant. 2. You cannot go beyond absolute infinity, but just the fact that Leo is still in the finite human form suggests he is not in absolute infinity because he even said that absolute infinity is death. 3. What is really frustrating and what really pissed me off is that I already suggested in another post that it is possible that other minds exist, but that we are so sovereign that we are not aware of them. and then Leo basically comes out with a video about what me and others have been saying as objections to solipsism, which is that just because I cannot experience another point of view does not mean that it doesn’t exist. it could be the case that God has multiple bubbles of consciousness. In his perception video, he uses the analogy of the sponge to indicate that we are just one bubble within the sponge, and then he contradicts and says that we are the whole sponge and not just the bubble, and that there are no other bubbles. But I get it that as his insight gets deeper, that he will start to contradict things that he said, because he’s after what is true rather than being right and consistent. I think infinity of gods does contradict solipsism, because he said that I am the only consciousness that exist, and then he says, in that video that there are other consciousness that my consciousness cannot access because they are sovereign like mine, which is basically the argument I made in my post as an argument against solipsism. Honestly, as soon as the infinity of God‘s episode came out, I stopped taking Leo’s insights seriously because he would make bold claims with what seemed like 100% certainty and then he makes another video seemingly contradicting that. And then, he would retract it later. It’s almost better to be humble and admit, I don’t know than to make bold assertions that you find out later were wrong. but maybe I’m missing something and maybe making bold assertions is part of the process of discovering that you are wrong in the first place so I am open to that idea. But it still leaves problems for the viewer who takes Leo seriously.

You make a good point. But we have to pinpoint what exactly is meant by “imaginary.” The insight that the brain is imaginary is Leo’s insight not mine. I do not like the term imagination because it implies you can unimagine it and that it is not “important”. You cannot unimagine your brain because you are using your brain to imagine in the first place. And of course, the brain is created by the Universe. What Leo means by the brain is imaginary is not the face value meaning of what you/I might think. The brain is part of the design of the Universe in the same way that planets, gravity and photosynthesis are part of the Universe. Consciousness is both beyond and not beyond the brain. The brain is a part of Consciousness in a strange loop way. The way the Universe designed it, you could not be conscious and process these words that I am typing without a brain. If your brain gets damaged, that directly impacts your level of consciousness because the brain itself is also a figment of consciousness. The brain and consciousness are connected as one, which is why both can impact each other. The real question would be why the Universe designed it to where we need a body at all to experience life. My answer would be that without a body, we could not learn the fullest lessons of love and suffering. If we were just ethereal spirits with no body, our experience of suffering would be limited. In regards to reason, I would say that it is indeed limited, but it is one of the highest ways of knowing besides intuition and innate knowledge. Reason is the structured/linear mental process of “making sense” of reality and our intuition. On your last point, I could very well argue that meditation and psychedelics are also part of the dream no different from reason. Reason is a tool of our mind and an important part of our ability to have knowledge and communicate. We have innate/intuitive knowledge and we also have knowledge derived from our experiences and rationality.

I answered this objection in my original post. I stated that even after an awakening, you will think you have reached a global maxima but are really at a local maxima. Trips can convince you that you are more awake than you are. Leo already retracts things that he has claimed with absolute certainty in the past, so what makes this new claim any different? I also suggested that the human mind will always have constraints and limitations on it that you cannot imagine while still being in the human form. The thing with a DMT trip is you might have a cessation for a period, but your mind and its limits still exist. People with NDEs may have a cessation, but when they come back, they are also bringing back the limitations of consciousness and insight. Just think about it. On a DMT trip, you can reach a great insight so great that your mind has trouble understanding it and sometimes forgets it or is unable to understand it like a complex dream. When you dream, you are entering a different state and when you wake up, sometimes insights from that other state can become inaccessible now. Survival puts limitations on insight. That is why I said physical death is the global maxima because that is an awakening with 0 interference from survival. Most people don’t understand that the brain is designed for survival and not awakening. Good luck changing millions of years of evolution through DMT. Your human consciousness cannot unimagine the design of Universal Consciousness. It isn’t going to work. You can have insights into the nature of reality but they will be a local maxima if at best because if you could awaken global maximally, you would no longer be human. To survive is to be at a local maxima. I am not sure how else I can explain this and have it make sense.

United States is great. We have pretty much everything here that you need. We have warm and cold. It is the land of the free and home of the brave. I am grateful I am an American. But do you.