r0ckyreed

Another false teaching that stands out to me is that Buddha says desire is root of suffering, but I would say it is unfulfilled desire and ignorance that are the root of suffering. The Hindus got it right with avidya leading to maya, which leads to duhka. Buddhism oversimplifies desire when in reality desire is like a tool that can be used for good or for evil. Desire can turn into greed if you aren’t careful and desire can also turn into love. How can you truly love reality if you don’t desire? That is the ultimate paradox in Buddhism. It is like saying you love your girlfriend but don’t desire her. Both go together. If you don’t love life, then by essence, you are saying that you don’t desire to live. Notice that you can say you have no desire to live, but that isn’t the same thing as actually having no desire to live. If you truly had no desire to live, then why is your body and mind fighting so hard to keep you alive? If you truly had no desire, then you would just die right now. Unhealthy desire leads to greed and devilry. But unhealthy detachment leads to apathy and depression. It is possible to be healthily detached to some degrees but it is unhealthy detachment if you are detaching yourself from your spirit, your will/purpose for living. Buddhism overlooks the importance of ambition and purpose.

I already am. Awakening doesn’t take “work”, it takes love, an insight and change in consciousness. I think people here aren’t understanding the point of this thread. It is to point out false teachings and traps. No matter how awake you are, you still have a lot of BS belief systems from false teachings and traps. Deconstructing Buddhism isn’t enough. The entire spiritual matrix is filled with BS false teachings that have infiltrated your mind. I have already listed some that I discovered on Actualized.org and I will list from other teachers as well. What separates Actualized from other teachers is that Leo is evolving whereas I don’t really see anything new with Sadhguru or Mooji, just the same old fluff from 10 years ago repackaged. Just because you have Truth doesn’t mean you are devoid of falsehood.

But there are false awakenings just like how there are false insights. The I is the only thing that exists, which brings me to another false teaching and that is of no-self. Obviously the self exists because the Self is imagining it in the first place just like all of reality. No difference. Separation is an illusion and yet the illusion still exists. Self = Consciousness. There is no such thing as Not Consciousness

What are some other false teachings you heard? One that comes to mind is “all roads lead to Nirvana.”

Exactly! Awakening must contradict itself at the deepest levels if reality is indeed a strange loop. One Truth and Infinity of Truths are the same. I guess that might be where the Infinity Gods idea comes in.

Not sure what you are referring to. All of what I uncovered came from the opposite of theory. I contemplated contradictions I noticed. I have been doing spiritual practices for many years. I have come to the conclusion from my own direct experience that the only thing you can ever know and experience is Experience itself. Awakening, enlightenment, solipsism, etc. are all speculations, theory, and concepts. I have discovered that True Awakening for me is realizing that the search for enlightenment is a joke because enlightenment is nothing but remembering who I am, that I am the way, the highest truth, and the life. Enlightenment is recognition of this, as well as experiencing Absolute Beauty and Intelligence right now. A mystical experience is realizing that experience itself is mystical. There is no “knowing” of reality, only re-membering. Where am I wrong if my insight does not fit with the spiritual matrix?

I agree. But the way Leo implied it in a post is that he has transcended books. I understand you will outgrow certain categories like self-help, but don’t be foolish that you think you have transcended reading all together. There is still more to learn from others about different fields because you can’t dedicate your life to researching it all. Books are still essential and you don’t transcend learning. Learning is lifelong. Learning is from outside in and creation is from inside out.

Thanks for your input. I am still not convinced about Infinity of Gods. It sounds like my initial objections to Solipsism, that there are other consciousnesses that are sovereign like mine that I can’t access and yet I dream them up.

Be a King of all trades. Master of all. Excellence is a way of life.

The Self and Christmas are as real as this room you are imagining right now.

Hello. I’m just honestly sexually/intimately frustrated right now. It sucks because a lot of women would rather be with someone who is physically and sexually abusive to them than to be with a nice guy like me who is very feminine/masculine balanced. Some women say they want a man who is willing to be vulnerable with them. But when such a guy does this, they leave him and go to a masculine man who will abuse the shit out of them. I feel like I am too autistic, feminine, and empathic to be attractive to women. Women do not flirt or approach me at all. I usually never approach women because I know they deal with a lot of guys just trying to get into their pants. I am not interested in that but building intimate companionship. This is even on dating apps. I did not get very many likes. I just don’t get what women want, and I am starting to think that they don’t know either. I know what I want. I want an assertive woman who knows what she wants and who doesn’t conform to the BS social norms and tradition of men always having to make the first move. It just frustrates me that some women preach about challenging the patriarchy but then it seems to me like many of these same women still end up with these sexist, masculine men. Dating apps are pointless and it seems like going to bars as well. I feel so alone when I am at the bars. It is like nobody cares that I exist. Gosh. I am crying now as I write this. It just sucks because I am a nice guy and any woman would be lucky to have me as a partner. But instead they go to those Gaston men or even the Le Fou type of men who aren’t athletically built at all. I have been going to the gym doing strength training 5 days a week every day at 5am. It is right now one of the main activities I do that keeps me grounded and gives me a sense of purpose/connection other than my career. Sorry for the rant. This isn’t suppose to be a hate post/speech but rather frustration that I do not feel like I matter and am not seen. My autism holds me back because it is hard for me to pick up on subtle cues sometimes but it helps me thrive in many other areas of my life. I guess I am going to try to let go of my attachment to ever being in a romantic relationship. Relationships and love is a gamble. My last girlfriend dumped me because I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids in my future. This is one of the main areas of my life that I don’t understand. Hell, it is hard for me to even make just basic friends. I don’t want to change who I am because I love who I am. I just don’t get why other people don’t see me the way I see myself. I mean I check every box. I am athletic, musician, philosophically inclined, empathic/kind, I meditate, I am adventurous, and I go to the gym and more. I don’t know. If anyone has feedback or experiences something similar, let me know. Thanks.

Thanks man! Any suggestions on how to start this small-talk stuff with people who are already engaging in conversations? Maybe I could approach a few women talking and saying "Excuse me, am I interrupting something? How is your night so far? What do you call a Cow who is afraid to talk? Cow-Word (Coward)."

Thanks everyone for your responses so far! I have read them all and am still going to try to implement each of them. My plans are to go out this coming Friday to karaoke night. I consider myself really good at singing and dancing. I was thinking of using this to my advantage and going to karaoke and then going to a country dancing bar. I will try to just learn how to enjoy myself alone in a crowd of people and then approach women to dance and then talk to them at karaoke. When I was first writing this post, I was very emotional but am now thinking more logically. I am reframing it as people are too afraid to approach me because of my great looks and personality rather than because I am a worthless human. I just have to realize that people are too afraid to initiate with me and I can grow my courage by initiating. I realize that initiating will help me with my confidence, and I can still feel valued by women depending on how they respond to my initiation. Any other suggestions?

Thanks. I have been reading that. Sometimes, it just feels weird going out by myself. Not sure how I can go around about this. I guess just brute force?

You got a good point. That's what we were saying as we were breaking up. My love was strong for her, but not enough to compromise my values. And she was the same. Thanks for your wisdom. It sounds to me then that women actually want to be approached by me but they are more nervous as I am. So what I will try to do then is go up to one and say "Hey I am Rocky. How is your night so far? I am doing well as well! I absolutely love philosophy and questioning reality. What about you? What do you find most amazing about reality?" I will try something like that. Thanks.

Thanks. The part that frustrates me is I have spent hours contemplating if I want kids or not, and right now, the answer is Hell No! But I am not sure if kids is something I will want in the future. My ex-girlfriend and I both agreed that we didn't want kids now, but in her later 30s. I am not sure if I will grow into wanting kids someday or if my attitudes right now will be the same. 10 years ago, I wanted to have kids, but now at 27, I want to do everything I can to avoid having kids. My ex-girlfriend said that was the reason why she didn't have sex with me was because of me not wanting kids. But you are right. She is incompatible to me and my goals. And it was the right thing for us to break up. I just feel defeated because I have not met many women that don't want children. The main reason why I don't want children right now is all of the responsibility and sacrifice. Freedom/Adventure is one of my highest values in life, and I don't see having kids right now as helping to fulfill that value.

I just feel lost when approaching. I just feel awkward and feel like a nerd who is just chasing pussy. I don’t want to do that. Everybody in the bar is talking to everyone and it just feels creepy just going up to random people I don’t know to converse with. I am not a very social person. After thinking about it, me being able to approach without resistance would be a great confidence and social skill. I am open to learning how to do this more and more effectively. However, it still helps if women at least help make themselves more approachable. I approached one woman and took her for ice cream because she smiled at me and kept looking at me. That’s easy approach. It is harder when they make it feel like I don’t matter if I am dead or alive by not looking at me, smiling at me, giving me attention, etc.

I am scared, but I also am tired of playing this game of me always initiating things. Women do not flirt or show interest in me period. Why would I approach them just coldly if they do not seem warm to begin with? Why do we still have to live in traditional times where men always ask women out. We need to challenge the patriarchy and the gender roles. I am just tired of this game of me having to chase women. All of the women I have been with were from them approaching me or initiating interest in someway. I don’t know what has changed since those times. I guess I was at the right place at right time. I honestly have better things to do than approach 1000 women. I am really just interesting in landing 1. But if I have to get her attention and initiate everything, then I don’t see the point. I don’t feel love that way. I feel valued when women express interest in someway.

Me being vulnerable and telling her I was not sure about if I wanted children or not was one of the reasons for the end of that relationship. But I am glad I was authentic enough to state how I was feeling because now I know that her love for me wasn’t as strong as her desire for children.

Thanks. The thing that frustrates me is that I have to initiate everything to get something going. I feel more valued when I don’t always have to initiate.

Thanks. I have already been crying it out, but I am still faced with the same reality. My previous relationship doesn’t hurt anymore. What hurts more is realizing that I am not desirable/attractive as I am. And I don’t want to change who I am for women because that kind of change wouldn’t be conducive. I don’t want to have to manipulate myself and others to just get a basic relationship going. It’s a sad truth that men who are great manipulators will get all the women on their knees. Whereas nice guys (more feminine guys) finish last.

So, what exactly is this main thing then? Also, how are vulnerability and weakness not the same? I thought vulnerability is your ability to show weakness - the opposite of toxic masculinity.

But “bad” is an illusion. It is just your personal judgment. No art is bad. God can be found in shit as well as gold. If you see bad in reality, then you are in Devil Consciousness and aren’t in God Consciousness and therefore aren’t awake. There is art I don’t care for, but that is my bias and has nothing to do with the art itself. I would also argue that everyone is an artist because God is everyone. I don’t see how you come to your conclusions here. If Hitler is an artist, then Seth Godin is as well. Hell, he even writes and moves people through his words just like you do. Art is everything. This computer is art and even this post and forum is art.

Spirituality is a lifelong journey.

It’s not about body count. It’s about God Count.