r0ckyreed

Seattle was the coolest city I’ve been to. I was there when it wasn’t raining though.

I am thinking about moving in 2 years and want to still be a US Citizen and live in America.

Being single is amazing. I’m embracing it at this point in my life. Who knows what the next chapter will bring. I got nothing to lose. It is kinda sad that a lot of people don’t seem to see the amazing freedom of being single.

Use that alpha male energy then to lead her into the conversation about it. It sounds like you are taking a “feminine” position with wanting her to guess how you feel and to change without telling her what she’s doing. It doesn’t really need to be a conversation, but a simple I-statement can do the job.

I think many of you misunderstood. I’m not gonna stop approaching. I just don’t force it and make it the main focus. The main focus is to enjoy myself, work on my life purpose, and contemplate reality. If I am doing karaoke and dancing, I might say hi to someone who seems kind and interesting. I’m just not forcing it. I think approaching is an empowering skill to have. It’s making my whole life and self worth about approaching and approval that stops. I’ll play some games with women too. But the main thing is that I don’t feel a strong desire to force things to happen. I feel content being single because this means that I can flirt and approach whoever I want if I want. But since I stopped thinking about pursuing women, I have finally been thinking more about consciousness and reality.

Thanks. This post isn’t about frustration but about a turning point. I have reconnected with the joy of being single and have felt less and less detachment to women which I think is a good thing. My sex drive is lower and all the thoughts that went to my ex and women are now going back into myself and in questioning reality.

All of that is a social construct. Ever since I was in the 4th grade, I questioned why women play the games they do and wait for the guy to ask them out. And sure, part of me is very feminine and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have my preferences of having a woman that doesn’t make me guess how she feels. I’m tired of all these games. I’m tired of being the 100th guy hitting on her. It doesn’t feel as fulfilling to me than being seen.

Not necessarily. I have always been content with being single. It was only after my first longterm relationship that I started using this subforum. Heartbreak does that to you. But I feel like my life is better off without all that drama. I used to be frustrated with the dating scene, but I realized that it’s a waste of time. At this point, I don’t put any effort into women. I still am on the dating apps, and there’s some dates I will be going on. But I am much more detached. I’m not chasing anymore, I am attracting. I made this post because I wanted to articulate how I feel at this stage. It’s kinda like my motivation to journal. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce and maybe another 25% are unfulfilled marriages. I am only gonna play games I can win. When I am chasing women, I am losing the game with myself. I am still gonna go out, party, flirt, and all that. I’m not gonna limit myself. But I find a lot of freedom in being single. But you can interpret it how you want.

Women don’t do pickup. If a woman said this post, I would applaud her. So much pressure for women anyways to be in a relationship and bear kids.

It’s happened before. I was performing magic tricks, and a woman literally came up to me and said she wanted to put her tongue in my mouth if I guessed her card right. She was hot and I let her. First girl I kissed. Also, I got into my first long-term relationship from the girl DMing me first. I’ve had some girls hit on me when I was waiting tables. One of them told me I was making her pants wet. It has happened. It doesn’t happen very often. But I’ve had quite a few women approach me or at least initiate interest. But yeah. You’re right. She will still be playing games with me.

I didn’t ask where you can afford to live. I asked you where do YOU WANT to live in the USA. There’s a big difference. I know I want to live near a coast with an abundance of outdoor adventure opportunities as well as not too far from a vibrant city life. I am thinking either Massachusetts or Oregon.

What I’m really asking is why would you choose to sit on your ass for 10 days when you could instead be hiking in the forest? Why would you confine yourself to sitting to meditate if hiking is also a meditation? I hope you can understand my question. This is one of my main thoughts that holds me back from doing a 10 day meditation retreat. After all, I think I would get more out of a 10 day hike in Yosemite than a 10 day sit in my room. The longest I ever meditated was 5 hours and didn’t feel like I gained much from it. Compare that to a 5 hour hike in Yosemite, and I got so much more out of that. I had a stillness and gratitude like no other, and I got in some exercise. I think I would have regrets of wasting my time if I did sitting meditation for 10 days. Imagine 10 days of hiking. That would be quite the adventure. Adventure is a deep value of mine. I see limitations of sitting meditation. It’s not good for your back or for your mind long term because your spirit will long for adventure. If you just sat in one place and meditated, it would be as if you were already dead.

I see it opposite. I see it as if you aren’t able to meditate off your ass, then your meditation isn’t that powerful. Sitting meditation is “easy,”but integrating meditation into your daily life is the real challenge and real practice. It is easy to meditate when you are calm and peaceful sitting down. Much harder when you get out of the cave because life isn’t always gonna give you the best environments for easy calm and peace.

I like how Owen Cook says it. He says that you can love yourself so much that you can sit and stare at a cave wall for many hours, and you can also love yourself so much that you don’t have to do that to prove anything either. He says that if you loved yourself fully, you wouldn’t confine yourself to such a limited state. He says you can meditate while working on your life purpose and doing chores.

Thats crazy.

This question is pointless. The earth being round or flat doesn’t matter. The ultimate question that matters is what is god, what is existence, what is consciousness. So many red herrings that distract us from the questions that really matter. Edit: I apologize for my directness.

Thanks guys for your responses. I see that there is a benefit for sitting meditation. I think I am just too active for it. I value being active. Life is short and I don’t want to spend it sitting in one place forever. That’s what prison is for. I want to see the world. I want to hike the Himalayas and go to England. I want to get into rock climbing and get into fit shape. I hardly ever do sitting meditation. I used to do it 20 minutes a day. But lately, I am lucky to do 5 minutes. I got stuff to do.

This is ridiculous. My whole point is that you shouldn’t need any meditation cushion or go to a cave or go ride on a bull to meditate. But it runs into a paradox of that if everything is a meditation then nothing is meditation.

Thanks for your answer. Couldn’t marathon running meditation be a serious form of meditation that could lead to genuine insight? If sitting meditation is for serious meditators who want to go all the way, then is eyes closed meditation for those who go all the way vs eyes opened meditators? You see where I’m going with this? If I can stand and meditate vs sit and meditate, and if I can have eyes open vs eyes closed, then what really is meditation? If I can meditate while I run, walk, and go shopping, then the concept seems to lose meaning. When someone says meditation, I think of a monk sitting cross legged with eyes closed. What I’m asking is why is that the automatic picture or most common conception of meditation? If you asked 10,000 people to draw a person meditating, they will draw a person sitting cross legged with eyes closed. But you could also draw them running or working out, and that could be meditation as well? Osho says everything is a meditation because meditation is all about witnessing.

I think I made a good point. It makes no sense sitting for 10 days straight when you can travel the world, hike through a forest, or run a marathon for 10 days. I don’t understand why the modern conception of meditation is sitting. Afterall, there is walking meditation. Why is walking meditation not as popular as sitting meditation? Walking is so much healthier than sitting.

I wonder if he would say the same about suicide.

Sounds like your girlfriend is part of your life purpose; otherwise, you would have no problem leaving her. If a relationship isn’t your life purpose, then why do you have a girlfriend? To distract yourself? To have a dopamine hit and some sex? No. You said it yourself, you are considering marriage. There is no problem with you doing spirituality with your girlfriend. Hell, sex is one of the best meditations there is. It gets you so in the moment and out of ego. I heard that a monk even got enlightened when he gave up meditation and had sex.

@Leo Gura I wish Leo would just play normal chess. He is playing this bizarre form of chess where the pieces are set up randomly and not how they are suppose to. I would like to see him play a regular chess game so that we can see how familiar he is with openings and traps. Also I would like to add feedback on considering playing against humans rather than bots. These bots are a waste of time.

A colleague of mine is a therapist at Betterhelp. I wouldn’t generalize to call the whole thing a scam. But I agree, in-person is better. But some people don’t even have a car. For some, it’s a platform that works for them. You can always call a place to see if they can be seen virtually.

I would recommend OP to try Betterhelp or find a local therapist that you feel compatible with. I know it costs money, but it will be money well spent. 988 is also available until you can see a therapist. In person is better.