Nickyy

@Swagala We don't know anything about a person just by looking at the surface behaviours. Most people wear a mask, but they also have an inner life. Their inner life may not be fully acknowledged, so they keep their potential silent because the mask seems to work for them. It's only when things go wrong for people or they genuinely discover that they don't find fulfilment in external objects do they start to question their conditioning. You will find that most who seek spiritual growth never got fully into the rat race, and so felt the suffering much more acutely and were forced to confront the pain of being outside of the "winners" circle of society but not fully spiritually developed. You're in a strong position because at least you're aware of the mess. Most people aren't. Denial works

So, you claim that development can be measured by the degree of harm a species causes? I don't think that's true, because humans aren't actually in touch with their nature. So you're judging humans unfairly. Personal development work will show you what it means to actually be human.

Watching them . Animals did not develop civilization, humans did. Specifically homo sapiens

@Focus Shift I don't know.

@Rasheed In all honesty I rarely have uninterrupted sleep. I always have to get up to at least visit the bathroom. But at that time, when I was free to sleep when I wanted, I was in a good routine and had a nice 8-9 hours sleep every night and woke up naturally. The sleep was good, but the biggest benefit was how I felt during the day, I never got tired, never had a post lunchtime crash, never felt irritable. It was good. I just thought of another thing that helped with the quality of my sleep, and that is drinking bone broth. I exprerience such good restful sleep when I drink that stuff. It's full of glycine which is supposed to be a nutrient that has something to do with sleeping better. But for me, no alarm, go to bed at the same time daily, and not stressing about travelling to work

@Annoynymous Youre resisting the situation. You're not aware of this, but this is whats happening. Become aware of how your preferences of health over sickness has become an attachment and you're keeping it there because its now become part of your sense of self. If you make this conscious, you can disidentify from it. In spiritual life the aim is to become non attached to circumstances. Not indifferent so that you feel nothing, but you want to be at a point where you can take it or leave it. Enjoying it for what it is, and feeling sorry for losses but not letting it take you over Nothing should take you over in a positive sense or a negative sense. You should be receptive to the present moment and what it contains. That means being here and now. If you're still thinking about mum here and now then you're fixated. Which is not liberation.

Be yourself I gave some pointers here.

The only difference I can see between an animal and a human is the level of ability to solve problems. Animals don't have the intellect to conceptualise the complex systems we have evolved over time.

I agree. Can you blame them? I feel compassion for people who don't feel they have any other option but to play along with societies games in order to just get sex. There is nothing wrong with sex, it can be acquired easily by being authentic. But it's all the other complicated conflicting stuff that they have to go through in order just to feel like they are enough. It's a shallow existence for most people living in our collective dream

@Annoynymous Take a look at some of this guy's material. Tell me what you think. He's very contrived , stiff, inhibited. He's taken in a lot of false behaviours and is trying to cover up his neediness. Which just makes him look needy But the reason he gets dates is because he's slightly more outgoing than other men, and more manipulative. Also think about the orange women he dates. Like attracts like. Both are needy and goal oriented.

@Annoynymous I think for those guys dropping neediness is an ideal. Personal development is derived from enlightenment teachings and therapies, all if which try to make you authentic. So dating gurus read self help books and try to work on themselves, but don't have the complete system for change. Which is enlightenment. I think the biggest task to eliminating neediness is to develop compassion and unconditional acceptance for people. To be in a state of resistance already implies that you have no personal power, and that you need others to change in order for you to feel better. The only way to respond to unconsciousness in others is with surrender.

No, I'm not enlightened. But I study how to become enlightened, and I'm working on it. But if you're honest with yourself you can see how enlightenment teachings are true. No, nobody can get rid of neediness without being enlightened. Enlightenment is the true natural state, because we're conditioned to be needy and desperate we obviously dont realize were already complete.

@Annoynymous I think its a normal behaviour, the root cause being a sense of incompleteness . Identifying with thought as a substitute for being ones true self is a state of incompleteness, seeking validation in external things. Enlightenment fixes all of that because you come to realize that you are already complete

@Rasheed For me (and I've had to accommodate a few different sleep patterns over the years, so I've got some experience) I found the best energy I had was when I was self employed and had the freedom to sleep when I wanted. I would naturally go to sleep around 11 and wake up at about 7.45 -8 sometimes 9 depending on what I was doing the previous day. I never set an alarm, and I think that was the most important contribution to how I felt the next day. I have even done night work and slept in the day (which was also really nice and not a problem). But there is something about working at night and living that kind of life that didn't sit well well with me. I got depressed . Maybe it was because of lack of sunlight and being around others. I truly believe humans are social animals and we all thrive off similar physical circumstances.

@Manjushri Ok, I would be careful not to self diagnose (if you every get the urge to). If you only just started to feel what's really going on for you, then your only issue might be patience and self compassion. Things take time. You could also address the physical, like eating ,better sleep, excersise, even if it's not related to manic type depression, it's still a good idea to look after yourself

Blue is roles, I guess the victim is a role. You can't change that you're playing the victim, you only have to be conscious of it. Continue to do what you're doing but be very honest with yourself. Don't judge yourself. Don't make a problem out of it. Don't analyze it. Don't try to change it. Just observe and soon you will notice that you're not the victim, you're the observer. Eventually you will get tired of doing what you're doing, you will have seen what it does, you will see for yourself that it really isn't green, that it's a fixation, empty, that it's not really noble as you once thought. Then it will change by itself. But before it changes you need to see it for what it really is, only then will you let it go.

@Annoynymous btw, Im not saying you're completely blue, but I'm just saying you have a bit of unhealthy blue in you that you aren't conscious of yet. We all have these uneven developmental issues. Me too

@Annoynymous No it not easy, you're right about that. But you're disidentifying now by talking about it. You said it yourself that thinking about the restrictions of society makes you feel sick. So what would happen if you understood that it's your expectation that is causing you to feel sick rather than the outer circumstances? You have a choice here, you can be the victim of circumstances and continue to feel bad, or you can develop out of the very mentality you see in society? Can you admit that being the victim is a blue thought?

That's not really happiness, it's more like pleasurable anticipation, which is sadly part of the dualistic mind that has an opposite, in time the same idea will cause you pain. True happiness is being able to see this duality for what it is.

@Manjushri "Depression" can be a symptom of a lot of things. One cause of depression though is that you may be suppressing feelings that were caused by traumatic experiences. The depression is just a mask for the denial of feelings, so if you're able to get in touch with your feelings and understand them the depression will lift. But you got to be prepared to fully feel your feelings, and that means allowing them to be there without getting identified (being taken over by them).

This is the time to practice unconditional acceptance. Yes they are talking "rubbish", but they cannot be any other way. It takes years to change people, and that's only even possible if they are committed to change, want to change, want to grow. So it's time to just notice that huge expectation you carry around that is causing your frustration. The situation is not causing your feelings, your feelings are there because you adopted certain values and have certain expectations that are not being met. In order to heal this you need to take responsibility for your feelings (not that you created them, but just so that you can change them) In order to become non reactive you must do the usual practice of disidentification and witnessing that will eventually allow this values system to be seen for what it is, understood that it's not serving you, and let go of and transformed into inclusiveness, compassion and unconditional love. After all, unconditional love is what you want from this path. Without unconditional love and acceptance as an unconscious habitual way of thinking, you cannot really be liberated from your conditioning . So see this time and these challenges as opportunities for your spiritual growth. That is how you should try to view everything. Other people can show you your ego and where your hidden identifications are that you cannot see yourself. Embrace this. You might want to come to terms with the possibility that you may not find someone that is capable of being in a relationship with you. The best you can do is just try to learn to get your insiticual needs met in win win ways with authentic expression and then see where it takes you. I get the feeling that you would never put yourself in a situation that requires you to be someone you're not, so I'm pretty certain that when you get the first signal of trouble that you will be able to end any involvement with anyone you may be having regular sex with. Its important to not make generalisations though and come to the conclusion that there isn't anyone out there for you at all. Live with uncertainty and just try to be in the present as often as you can so that you live a life that is authentic. That will attract people to you anyway. But ultimately life doesn't owe us anything anyway, we can't expect things from life and be at peace, all we can do is continue to be ourselves more and more each day so that non attachment becomes a way of being and nothing really annoys us anymore so that we can finally just enjoy people and situations for what they are rather than what we think we need from them.

@ivankiss Like I say, most people can't do relationships.

@RichardY That's the challenge isn't it? Learning how to not create negative emotions and drown in vitctimhood while continuing to challenge the dysfunctional status quo. This world is not "all love". It's a terrible situation that needs addressing . However the only way you can be effective is to stay grounded in the present and let any action come from there.

@robinmk4l Research the microbiome. It has a significant connection to physical and mental health. Courses of antibiotics can harm your natural microbiome because they indiscriminately kill all bacteria (not just pathogens).

@F A B @F A B Women are generally more conscious than men at this point in history. Women would not have initiated a break up in the past as they were dependent on men because of fixed gender roles. However now when men don't live upto their true potential there is nothing stopping a woman getting out of painful relationships that are going nowhere for both parties.