Nickyy

This is misleading, and subetly puts the blame on women for not being developed enough. Granted, most people are not developed, but that is not a reason for the false perception that women don't like "nice guys". All women, whether they are emotionally spiritually developed or not, dislike nice guy syndrome. When women say they like good guys and nice guys they don't exactly mean that. What they mean when they say "nice guy" is someone who is not neurotic or has fixations, who is present in his physical body, awareness rooted in the lower half of his body, awareness away from the mind and able to pick up on very subtle changes in the environment and still stay present and not get knocked off that. That's why men get shit tests, women feel safe and relax around men who are not moved off course by distractions, but who can still be connected with her even at her worst

@Voladores What do you think is stopping you from fulfilling your needs in life? What needs are not being met in your opinion? What do you consider a need?

I know right? The mother must have been beside herself. Poor soul ?

Repressing red, repressing beige. Some yoga or some tai chi will fix that. Also look for any blue fixations.

@Mikael89 lol @Leo Gura depends on where one is at in the relationship. In my experience it's mostly about being present with what is and not getting lost in thought. You can be as nice as you like then when it's called for because you're always adapting to reality rather than neurotically adapting to a projected image. Everything that can be said about successful relationships are observations of this one aspect. Generally at the moment women are more conscious than men. Guys get lost in stories and miss what's really going on. That accounts for the general inability to understand women's behaviours. When a guy is in his head he's interpreting rather than understanding what's actually going on.

@assx95 Lets be clear, when a woman is interested and it's on then you will know about it, without a doubt. Texts all day, very aggressive, very forward. There is absolutely no doubt what's on the cards.

She's being nice and paying you a compliment to soften the blow of friend zoning you. It's to save your feelings but also let you know in no uncertain terms where you stand. But you won't be a friend, she just needs you to not be offended now that she's onto something else. Women never burn a bridge because they consider that rude and unnacceptable female behaviour. Women want to leave things on good terms, without leading men on.

Nobody is judging you. Lighten up ?

@Lento She turned up for the attention and kindness she remembers from the past. The boobs thing was to motivate you into doing your eye contact thing , and the ovaries talk was to retract interest because you didn't give her the attention she turned up for. You didn't live upto her memory of you from the past. I don't think she ever wanted sex with you, she had a "maybe" in her mind, but in the end she just wasn't into you If a woman sees you as potential toy material, she will do subtle things to see if it generates a spark, but because she found that she just wasn't into you she just dropped the "maybe" she had in her mind. The whole marriage talk was probably her way of saying that if you were the last guy on the planet she still wouldn't. Not that this is a reflection of you, but it is an indirect way of making sure you know you didn't manage to attract her You will more than likely never hear from her again because during that convo you weren't really the guy she perceived you to be based on past experience of you as the "Mack daddy" of the office. Women like their fantasies, if they project something onto you they will sniff around until they know for sure whether it's a projection or not. If it's a projection and you really aren't the the Mack that they thought you were then they just lose interest. Almost immediately. It's nothing personal.

Not at all. What I was trying to say was listen to those trying to help you and everything will work itself out, you're not in any physical danger regarding your third eye. I can't comment on what those guys know because it's way beyond anything I know. But they can help you of you're open to it. From what I've read here on the forum is the third eye chakra opens on a mystic experience. But it's way beyond anything I've heard about

@Raptorsin7 Youre recieving a ton of direction from turquoise contributors at the moment. Go with it, don't worry about your third eye. Your third eye will open when you're ready for an experience

@Mikael89 Are you trolling?

@Sidi Accept everything. That's all. Be impartial. Impartial doesn't mean disconnected, it means that you have the wisdom to understand that life comes with ups as well as downs, and that attaching yourself to any of these ups or downs as a way to enhance your identity or seek completeness in is a big mistake. Don't get moved around by the tide of life. Be in the tide of life and look at it your mind saying "this is good, this is bad" and just observe how that makes you a victim of circumstances. Just observe yourself making these value judgements without further judgement or making it into a personal problem. Watch what happens to your inner state as you do this.

@Fede83 Here we go again

True, and this is also dependent on how much work one has done on themselves. Yeah, the problem with external factors is that they are always changing. That does not mean that you can't make life comfortable for yourself. I think having a roof over your head, the ability to pay the bills and even the ability to run a business in order to secure your well being for retirement are all crucial things to strive for. To have those things in place would mean you have the best possible chance at contentment. Those but those things in and of themselves don't make people happy. They only set the right conditions for happiness. The real problem lies in some conventional attitudes (the spiritually immature) who think that external approval, social status, wealth hording are the keys to contentment.

I wouldn't self diagnose. A referral from your doctor to get assessed by a professional who specializes in ADHD is the first step. Get their advice and research very thoroughly if they decide to give you meds. Just make sure that you know the full picture of what you're getting into before taking any prescribed meds . If not then try to stay more aware of your body and take one thing at a time.

@Mikael89 Playing the nay sayer role again? ? Questioning should be done from a place of sincerity. Not resistance

@Knock If none of this applies to you then maybe move in with nicer house mates?

@Knock Quick question to get to the root of this. Sounds like you have some issues asserting yourself with these guys? Maybe not? But you are making a post cos of frustration. So I'm only guessing here, but your anger is seeping out on here because it's not integrated. Red has anger, and when you identify with it and then repress it with blue you lose contact with the tool that red has for you: aggression. So if you can let go of blue for a moment you will probably excite an energy called rage. When you do then disidentify with rage and you will have the tool of assertiveness at your disposal and you can let the guys know how they are impacting you. That's only if they still do impact you. Currently you don't know what the cause is until you do some shadow work. Maybe you don't like their red energy because you are resisting your own red energy? This is all theory at this point. So... Do some work first, disidentify, and then see how these guys behaviour affects you. Then take action from that place of non identification. Another question I have for you is do you suffer from fatigue or tiredness at all? That's a sign red is being repressed because of a blue value trying to override it. You should in theory be able to ask your housemates to observe their responsibility in the house with no guilt if you have managed to integrate your narcissism energy and then disidentify from it so that it becomes the healthy tool of assertiveness. Try to spot any judgements about yourself or others who are assertive as being labelled arseholes. Observe and don't make it into an issue. It will go away.

@King Merk You can only really challenge people who seem as if they want help. Like in this forum . But with the general population you have to understand how hard it is for them to understand this self development stuff. Look at all the bs ideas out there. Look at how social conditioning hypnotises us all. It takes years to develop, lots of sacrifice and struggle. People really have no choice but to live unconsciously. Having an expectation of them shows you where you need to work on yourself. Your frustration is not really caused by them, it's caused by your unexamined expectations. Love comes from disidentifying and empathy comes from taking the perspective of other people and really getting into their worldview. When you take time to empathize you might see that we all face similar challenges. It's a miracle that you're even here on this forum. Society is not set up for self actualisation, its set up to maintain itself.

As you can see from my comment, I have not made a green shadow. You can see clearly that I can see clearly that I am aware of the areas green does well and what it fucks us over on. That to me is not a green shadow. I call a spade a spade, that's how yellow is. People can say what they like at yellow because they have integrated the healthy parts of 1st tier and can see the unhealthy parts of it (identification to a structure). I don't see in myself an unhealthy relationship to green, because I see green for what it really is, green as a temporary stage. I only think green is unhealthy when it stagnates. As I've said many times on this post already. The context is not about smacking my kids. I used that as a way of demonstrating how green cannot tell the difference between smacking kids neurotically and smacking them because that is sometimes an effective tool to communicate with red. See the difference? A yellow leader would speak to red kids or adults in ways they can hear and understand. Green has no clue because green basically doesn't trust healthy blue and orange to be effective. Green only thinks compassion means equal treatment. Which is a flatland demonization that doesn't see that compassion can appear in many forms. Be mindful that green can pretend to be yellow and try to pull yellow back down to its overly sensitive ideology. Yellow is not sensitive at all, it's an integration of the whole of the human being, minus any identification with it. Yellow has nothing to do with equality, although it sees the benefits of equality as a step in the right direction to being.

Can you offer clear examples? For me your comments feel generic and vague, almost as if you have learned about stage climbing exclusively from an external source. What is your 1st person experience and insight into all of this? That's where I think I would be able to contact you. At the moment what you're saying sounds like you've read it on the forum and are making some assumptions about it

Re read my comment. I've updated it so that you can understand it more fully.

I'd like to expand on my view of what yellow is. I don't necessarily think there is a sense of not being overly relativistic. Yellow is so far removed from genuine green that it sees relativistic in a completely different way. In my experience there is just better integration without identification. I'm allowing myself and my drives to be as they are. But this time there is a different realationship to them. For the sake of an example, drawing broad strokes in order to illustrate this feeling, stage green would not smack their kids. However yellow would snack their kid, but not from a neurotic place, but a place of love. Smacking children works if it's don't done with malice. If my kid puts it's hand in the electric socket my first reaction is to discipline my child so that it's clear that it's not right to put a finger in the electric socket and there is just enough awareness to understand never to do it again ,but not too much shock as to traumatize my child. Red needs a firm leader, not peer to peer discussion as green would do. Green would of course demonize any smacking of a child because it doesn't understand the value of blue or orange expressed in heathy ways without identification to blue or orange structures. The place where green has value is in making blue and orange centred people aware of how they traumatize their children by raising them unconsciously. But this doesn't apply to yellow parents. Because yellow parents are not acting neurotically or with any exclusive identification to a structure. Yellow is just expressing what was developed during passing through that structure, only without the neurotic fixation to the structure. This is where green trips itself up. It doesn't see that there is something beyond green. That the raising of children can be a conscious process that facilitates development in better ways where each stage is mastered as it is appropriate for the child's age. Green just wants to turn their child green and I've observed that this has caused a few problems with people who have grown up on very green centred homes. A lot of green adults drop out of school, succumb to drugs and alcohol. Join hippie communes, and generally carry around a paranoid distrust for the establishment and society in general.

@Adam M If you read ken Wilbers book Boomeritis, you can see that this is a book written in the process of a green allergy. People like wilber and habermas wrote scathing attacks on the green meme. Even the name of the book "Boomer - itis" gives us an ufront clue as to how wilber viewed green at the time. As a disease Hardly "loving". It's critical not to be idealistic about this work.