Thought Art

Time for my next adventure. back to work this week. Traveling, planes, atvs and adventure. I made progress with my Qigong the last month or so, my health has improved too. Reconnected with music, in a healthier way this time around. Less pressure, more fun, more heart. A year from now, 5 years from now… what will I have made? Who will I have become? I am watching a Beastie boys recap on Apple TV. I realize that no one who is creative ever knew what was coming next. Things are never certain. Reality is messy for every creator. I will continue to work with my coach, keep earning money, investing in my ability to share, understand and teach Qigong. I’ll network and connect with more people, build my roots in a major city. Begin dating and get a girlfriend. Long term relationship is what I want. All in time. I also feel like I’m buying clothing I like and I’m being more comfortable with myself. I like to dress in a way that feels good to me. Also, I’m Bisexual and feel like I’m healing the shadow of repression on being attracted to men. I’m probably more straight than gay, but I should I suspect fully being whole and honest within myself in this regard matters. Gotta just be me. I will work tomorrow on Qigong routines, and I might go visit my sister again tomorrow or Wednesday. I will play through my album I’m working on again.

@Never_give_up I’ve learned the trick is to just enjoy creating.

Rest day

@Nilas Are you taking large doses? I’ve experienced bouts of not remembering which is scary. Happens with vaping especially large doses.

@Natasha Tori Maru I am generally good natured. But, I can flip my lip from time to time which is a character flaw for sure. Especially for this forum and the video catalogue. Gotta stand up for it. But, there is a right and wrong way. I apologize and going forward I will do my best (as usual notice the 13,000 posts) speak with generally respectful words. I see the importance of allowing open dialogue around the nature of the video catalogue, forum, the ideas, concepts, techniques taught in Actualized.org teachings. I would say part of me is still stubborn around having said it, because at the end of the day an intelligent person who honestly tries to learn from Leo isn’t going to end up in a cult. It’s highly unlikely. He teaches studying under many people, reading many books, and getting direct experience. If it’s not true, it’s not real. Simple as that. A cult wouldn’t teach you radical open mindedness, to question everything, to teach consciousness, epistemology, post modernism, philosophy of science, introspection, what it happiness, what is love, 35 fields of self help, etc etc Unfortunately, it is annoying and tiring seeing the disrespectful videos, posts, and threads misleading people and insulting the information that is available here. Calling it a cult, and people insulting them forum etc is foolish to me. Though, I understand why it happens. Actualized.org is a school teaching the pursuit of Truth and pure understanding. The wisdom in the video catalogue is phenomenal. A major problem is I think some of you guys don’t the watch the videos. Forum Leo isn’t like, Leo at his best. Thats light and casual Leo generally unless we ask him a good question well asked. No teacher is perfect clean of self deception 100% of the time, Leo knows that. But, we can do our best.

@Natasha Tori Maru I’m pretty bad. My bad boy era.

Some of what Bryan does does not interest me. My main take away are health fundamentals. Even though I don’t embody them perfectly. I improve.

@LordFall I ride in them a lot for work. Very dangerous. Also, very safe if you are careful. There is a risk in everything. My work is full of safety considerations I have lots to be mindful of. We almost got hit by a Jet who didn’t warn us of him being coming in for landing at a small air strip.

Sorry for swearing everyone. We should always speak as best we can with respect and non-violence.

The challenge with Leo’s work is that it is so massive, sprawling, nuanced and requires so much time to not only listen to, contemplate, do the readings and assignments.. it really takes years and decades understand for those who try to even with the busyness of life and our laziness…. People are gonna struggle to understand the work. It’s some of the deepest philosophical work, if not the deepest ever produced. It isn’t perfect, comes from an imperfect but phenomenal human being… 99% of humans will never know what’s Leo knows. I think even many people on this forum will never know what Leo knows because of his history and genetics. But, that being said so many people here are very intelligent in there own ways and that is important to recognize.

As a Qigong teacher and studying mindfulness coach it’s my duty to accept what is, where I am and what has happened. I accept all of reality as part of my evolutionary process. Swearing, cursing, name calling are rare things for me in my communications for others. Really, other than blowing off steam, feeling powerful, covering shame, etc it generally will always backfire on you. At the same time, it can shake things up for everyone. But, as I realize my role in life this kind of thing should be put to an end. As someone who wants to be a role model for peace and wellbeing that type of communication can’t happen, and when it does it should be addressed. I will though, the occasional conflict, or angry outburst will never convince me to quit working on myself, teaching and learning qigong. But, the goal going forward is that I am not the kind of person who swears, name calls, etc, even if rarely in this group. It doesn’t feel good long term, spreads bad vibe and example on the forum and is opposed to my life purpose. I take ownership and responsibility in my life.

My routines will continue to improve and deepen as time goes by. I have a lot more courses to study, teachers to learn from and thousands more routines to make. I think I just have to keep going here. Keep letting the practice evolve as I do. Qigong is really a profound mystery to me and I think there is so much more to learn. Qigong and it's practice I don't think magically makes anyone a good person, or solves all their personal issues. I choose to be a creator, to strive and to grow despite my short comings. I am a real person. Always learning about myself. My mind isn't pure, my ego isn't fully matured and I can sometimes let anger fly. I've begun working with my coach for business and goal related stuff, I am currently looking for a good psychologist or therapist as I do struggle related to people sometimes... I have trauma and attachment style issues that make deep intimacy and trust a challenge, and I am continue with my mindfulness, Qigong and breathwork practice. I will continue to journal and grow.

Released another Qigong Routine

https://aurumbrothers.com/products/parvus-turquoise-camel-4mm-silver-bracelet These bracelets are so cool

True religion is the pursuit of pure understanding.

I feel the grossness of those words for sure. Almost like a huge dump. Probably not good to take a shit on the floor of the forum. Anger, what is your nature? I don’t think you are entirely bad. I have a sharp tongue sometimes. It’s rare. As I mature. I want to be someone who never swears or calls names. Why did I swear and call names? Because, I wanted to just rip straight through that whole fucking petty group think. I don’t need to be in that level trapped with complainers in Perry stuff. No offence to them. Typically I wouldn’t share that. But, I choose to. I want to be disagreeable sometimes. It’s good practice so I can better find my footing in life. No, just no. No more petty posts. I don’t read them and I don’t engage in them. I can hold myself to a higher standard going forward. But I’m not engaging or spending time here wasting it on debates of any kind. I’ll update my journal to share my experiences. I’ll engage occasionally. But, debate, fight, prove to, or anything else is not something I want to do. I am too creative right now. To motivated. I will continue to focus on my own work.

@Yimpa Hey, my bad. That is a good reminder to me of what it’s like being a mod. I apologize for that if that’s the case. I essentially rarely use that kind of language. But, I don’t know I feel vindicated right now to say it regardless of if you or someone else cares. This is an intential rebellion. When it comes to the seriousness I take in my drive for Developing true understanding. I want to make my stance very clear. This is not a cult, and people of lower intelligence for whatever reason are fixating on petty little things. It drags this place down. I get people gotta do their things. But, come on. And complaining about those things too? I just don’t care man. A some point I just gotta let myself be. I’m willing to adjust and be more mindful going forward. But, I said that!!!