Thought Art

The pain, trauma, hurt, etc etc etc these people have gone through whites can't imagine. And though they make you uncomfortable there is so much to learn about love from these people. Not many people in general are very loving. But, to my if we are going to be sages we can try to understand them.

@Fredodoow Pretty fucking deep man. Read some books on black lives and come back. Don't be selfish.

Your privilege makes you blind. If you actually checked your privilege you would see what you are saying, and wouldn't say this. I am white. White fragility! ahaha. Yeah I feel that pain too. I worked with a lot of hip hop artists and I have boiled in a lot of guilt even though I didn't do anything. White history is kind of shameful, we do benefit from it. Look at the red lining, for profit jails, years of history, environmental racism, slavery, and all the other blatantly racist shit that goes on around the world and in the west. Boohoo they make you feel bad. to them its ACTUALLY LIFE OR FUCKING DEATH. Get over yourself. check your privilage and toughen up. These are your brothers and sisters. Shit has been fucked on this planet for a long time because of white people. You don't need to feel guilty, but its important to try to really see it from their perspective. Its more than just privilege, its also seeing things from a black, brown and yellow perspective. When it comes to race relations, you can't just say "Well it wasn't me". They know it wasn't you. That isn't the point. How deep is your love?

@IAmReallyImportant God is gay

@sleep find out.

Just cuz it's conciousness doesn't mean it all fairies and uniorns. Infinite dream, not ice cream... reading the into to Labyrinths of reason... spooky.

depends how you yourself are relating to it, why you use it and your motivation behind it.

Tantra festivals, I post them all the time on the forum.

my devilry and stupidity being raised by addicts and idiots Not knowing how to love or trust burning too many bridges not seeing my blessings impatience prejudice etc etc etc

id have to have it happen to experience it. it would be a true test of my spiritually maturity...

fabulous app https://www.thefabulous.co/

@Leo Gura Ordered Russels book yesterday

@Sam Barker I personally use Yogi Approved for basic Flow, Yin, and vinyasa yoga. There are also some great Ashtanga yoga studios online which is great for getting in shape. Doing the Warrior flows will get you in shape, and there are lots of more fitness based and fun yoga practices on it too https://www.yogiapproved.com/ I've done some Kyra and Kundalini from books, Sadhguru and my ex girlfriend who is a Kundalini master. I personally prefer Qigong at Holden Qigong online classes. Qigong is similar to yoga, and it's ancient roots in Dao yin are very similar... but different. try two weeks free no credit card. Love the feeling of my chi flowing and developing a healthy biofield. and my spine is getting way healither. I found yoga was good, but didn't address the spine anywhere near what Qigong does. and my tinnitus is going down. https://www.holdenqigong.com/ Qigong means energy work, but it also helps to strengthen and stretch the whole body. Lee is great ahah

So, I have been on this self actualization channel for a few years. Recently is has become obvious to me that, though I am doing well in a lot of ways considering where I was when I started that I am still very naive, unprofessional, ignorant and lack the skills/ skill level I need to achieve anything big in life. I have been foolish in so many ways in my life the past 2 years. So many mistakes, poor judgements and a lack of strategic planning has set me back. I feel frustrated but know I must accept reality of my situation. I was torn between making my project Youtube channel and journal coaching Thought Art and my musical project Engramn, OBC and was dealing with a lot of fear and resentment.. I also had a some media project making videos for other music artists called OBC which has some really exciting minor successes. Though, personality problems caused it to fail. I feel sad because I want to be a powerful creator in the world I am 25 years old now, and I feel the creeping of old and age death is just around the corner. I have been cleaning up my mind and my habits over the past few years and feel I have come a long way.Not without set backs of course. But, still I am just so fucking naive it is really frustrating. I know I am smart, I am reading a lot and have watched Leos videos. However, both my parents are uneducated and I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and sometimes I feel like I am just a blind idiot stumbling around in the dark. My family has also abandoned me because they don't understand my spiritual pursuits and I think me working on myself threatens them. I also did try to change them in some ways, that never works. I guess I just wanted more love from them I never got as a kid, and honestly still have some PTSD from things that happened as a kid. I have been cleaning up a marijuana addiction (thank god what a waste) and I am thinking clearer, getting my finances in order and maintaining a really healthy set of habits. I am returning to school to study an 8 month accounting program because I think it will give me a comfortable job and a foundation for future business as I continue to develop myself to be a powerful creator. Smoking weed chronically is antithetical to self actualizing. Clear, rational and pragmatic thinking has to be the foundation. Then the transrational stuff can we built. What in my models of reality is real? What is delusional? No one knows. Thought Art was a channel I was using to share my journey,I was talking about e-ink tablets and other things however tonight I had this big realization as to how shitty the content quality was and I decided to delete the channel. I felt scared doing it but I think it is important. Though i was fun, and I had like 1 super fan who actually offered me money for a course I was giving on journaling....it was overall a waste of time and focus. Youtube is not worth pursuing. Also, seeing as I am not really a genius at living life I am not someone who should be giving advice. I am just really collecting as much as I can so I have a solid life long learning foundation. I feel sad in some ways letting it go. But, in life I am realizing you really can only do one thing. My mind had been jumping back and forth. I realize now that If I can't put my focus all on one thing then the products I create will suck hairy ball sack. Engramn is my music project, which has seen some success. I have played some Youth Showcases and festivals in my home town. Which is honestly a lot more than I ever thought possible when I started. I've made an album I am very proud of. Though I know if I want to take it to the next level there is going to have to be some big changes. I want to take my music to the next level but this ringing in my head is really scaring me. I feel trapped. I feel it in my heart that it is something I want to take to the next level and it was even my life purpose statement: To make deep insights beautiful to ignite the spirit of humanity to self actualize. I want to make music that helps guide people out of hard life situations, etc. When I look at my heros playing like Fleet Foxes, Arcadefire, Jose Gonazlez my heart lights up and aches so badly because I know that is what I am supposed to be doing. I feel a fear because I know the universe doesn't care about me.... It feel really scary sometimes I just want to kill myself. When I play open mics always get a lot of compliments and other artists really seem to respect my work. I love singing to people, I love creating the music and I love creating unique feelings and ideas. When I study poetry, psychology and music theory my heart lights up. I want to be the best singer song writer in the world and contribute something the world has never experienced before. I feel this great sense of urgency and fear. I also have so many fears around being famous sometimes I feel crippled by the weight of it all. Find my music here....https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzntACYqCzlbPIE0icZ1sMw I felt so scattered the last year, doing lots of meditation, yoga, psychedelics, reading, journaling etc. At times music seems like it would be a fruitless pursuit, and what if my tinnitus worsens? I have no hearing loss at all, but the ringing is always there... It generally doesn't go away. I had a lot of time on my hands because of the pandemic this year. I think I put a lot of time into myself, reading, listening to audiobooks, cleaning up, attending Tantric festivals. I think I was a bit foolish in my psychedelic use which created some setbacks though.... Though, I didn't put as much time into music as I have into spiritual pursuits which felt really important to me because I still had all these old traumas coming up from the past. Sometimes I think I will become a Qigong, Yoga Teacher... Or I will integrate Yoga, Qigong, shamanic practices and Reiki..... but really I just want to use these spritual practice to become a better singer song writer. I just, I don't really want to do anything else but music... but then my tinnitus makes that feel like its impossible. It's all in my head. Might just have to accept it and keep putting in the work. Also, the whole slave labour thing, the grinding nature of it all. Apparently this world owes me nothing. What kind of loving God would create this? Like seriously if you have infinite creative potential? In some ways I have come further than I ever though I would, but at the same time I am honestly still a piss poor creator and my current results in life make that glaringly obvious. It is a cause of some guilt and shame, self disgust in this present moment just looking at myself. I am overall happy, and I see my potential and the growth I can have in the future. I have been a piss poor creator all my life and this will not be how I die. I will die a powerful creator, I will realize God and I will life a rational, practical, creative and spiritual life. I will not let my parents mental illness and victim mindset ruin my life like it has theres. I will not die a piss poor creator. I still lack self trust, though it is developing over time. I love Leo's work and his content. It makes me feel like I can really figure this whole thing out. I realize that what he is teaching is some of the more hardcore and challenging things to ever figure out in life and I can congratulate myself for trying and for how far I have come. I haven't come far at all though at the same time. I want to inspire the hearts of millions of people with my song. I don't know if I will, and that scares me a lot. It won't happen as I was, the piss poor creator I have been. I will improve. Question: People who are powerful creators now, how did you get that way? What challenges and lessons did you learn and overcome? TLDR: I have been successful in some ways, but foolish and piss poor creator like in other ways.

Took me a few months. 3 days seems like too much as once. It’s an overall course for finding your core values and creating a strong vision for yourself. You purpose might change over time. im still working mine out.

@Intraplanetary might as well kill myself. Seems like a long repetitive nightmare then. Good one God, really... so protected.. See, you aren't protected in the duality. Maybe the God head is, but not us.

Heeeeeeeeeey this is leo

@StarStruck It's good advice, thank you my friend. I used better help and my ego was so inflated with the first person I had, but the second therapist I felt more attune to and let some guard down. I will have more in the future, and I find going to tantric festivals there are a lot of psychologists you can meet there who would understand more.

@StarStruck I wouldn't be using all the sources at my disposal if I had a spiritual ego problem. Maybe I do as part of my ignorance. I like any human desire to be able to speak openly and be understood. And if I do have ego problems, traumas etc... a therapist would be useful. You don't go get a therapist who focuses and specializes on woman if you are a guy. I want the right one. I think what I was saying to you is I see therapy as part of my larger inner work system, and one of the many tools I have at my disposal.

@StarStruck Yeah, I have had therapy.. not asking for therapy on the forum. I am studying shame and family systems in a lot of depth to make sense of it. All the yoga, reading, Qigong, Shamanic Breathing, Tantric festivals, journaling, therapy have gotten me pretty far. On LSD and 5meodmt I felt safe for the first time in my last summer. It really helped, and now Qigong is allowing me to do the same sober. life I still have set backs and models of reality to improve upon. It bothers me less, but there is a lot of orienting to do to become the creator I want. I posted this because I was hoping to talk to more self actualizers and get their help. Therapy is great, but not many get my drive to be of the best in the world, spirituality, God etc... I feel like yall delivered ahah @Intraplanetary I think when I said that I was meaning, clearly the universe can be brutal and not everyone gets everything they want. But, I am still learning. I don't want to expect to be given things. I know I have to work for it.

can you just lock old threads?

@StarStruck Aha, yeah. That is why I am here.

I ordered some book list I think will help with this.

@mandyjw Thank you so much, that was really powerful to re-read. That means a lot to me. And nice channel by the way! I watched some a your videos years ago when I as forming my opinion on actualized. Great stuff! Thank you for your kindness and attention! I will keep re-reading it. Maybe even journal that out. @StarStruck Thanks a lot. ADHD is complicated, and like autism differs from person to person. I was diagnosed when I was like 7... even a small tick sound would completely throw off my focus. Hyper sensitive nervous system. Also why I am introverted and a musician. I was diagnosed with adhd but also had some genius level apititudes from my childhood testing.... Couldn't learn to read in a classroom to much stimulus. Couldn't read till grade 4, but then jump to a grade 12 reading level in grade 4.5/5 with the aid of a tutor. As an adult I suffer from the emotion regulation elements more than not being able to focus... in fact part of ADHD is a hyperfocus at the expense of other things. I am working on my limiting beliefs. 17 years being raised by shame ridden victims has taken its toll, I am making a lot of progress. Shamanic breathing brought up a lot this week. @Leo Gura Thank you Leo. I needed to hear everything you and others shared with me today. I think doing the Shamanic breathing, getting sober from pot, and my daily Qigong and musical practice routine brought up a deep fire on how badly I want to spread love around the world. I want to create the most beautiful creation possible, and I will remember that everything I am going through is part of the design of reality. I will persist, I will create and I will love. I will learn to be grateful for the experience I have, and become unattached to outcome, I am warrior.