Thought Art

There is an on going pattern I notice in myself, and suspect it is in others of thinking you are either far less, or far more developed than you are. Reality is so huge and complex I think apart from mastering my survival as I head into my mid/late 20's that the universe is going to beat me down until all my crappy short sighted and selfish or foolish actions, habits, beliefs are gone. I think that I am extremely humbled by reality. I am maturing into what other people are, and how important they are to a good life. I used to think fame, success and artistic excellence was all that mattered. I am putting drugs like psychedelics and marijuana into their right place. They are tool that if use sparingly, and with the right intention are powerful. I think I put to much focus on them thinking they either made me more creative, comfortable or would 'awaken me'. Which, happened in some ways. But, also my immature use of these tools I think was counterproductive. At least in some ways, in the short term. I realize that I need to go through my own unique lessons and failures to figure out reality for mysef. I am moving through a painful process of evermore facing myself and my own self deceptions, limiting beliefs and foolish behaviours. My desire is to be a well rounded, well oiled machine that can partake in the social matrix in a way that is well grounded, and helps to benefit the lives of others. I am working on letting go of how I think life 'Should be' and am more embracing how it is. I can't strong arm and force the universe to make me Arcadefire, my favourite band or to turn myself into a rock star. I have proven that through hard work and applying concepts well I can get on stages, get good jobs, meet interesting people etc. However, at the close of my last chapter my blind spots lead to a lot of suffering failure, and destruction of important relationships. Which, have guilted me. Basically, my last chapter in all my efforts resulted in more success than I initially thought possible, more lesson than I could have dreamed of and a very painful, humbling and confusing collapse and failure. I suppose our initial projects in our early 20's usually fail. And my work is still being shared by people and my showcases are still being run in my city even though I don't run them anymore, my ex has taken the idea and kept it going after I caught her cheating on me. I am glad to see my idea out there in the world actually thriving. Even though it hurts I am not a part of it. I am ready for a new chapter, I have a lot of fear, self doubt, deceptions and mental distortion, beliefs etc to work through. In order to do that I have notice that I require more and more mastery, maturity, skills and experience. There is 10s of 1000's of hours of mastery ahead of me as I head along my life journey. I need to keep this boat heading straight and narrow.

I liked a lot of what Jacque Fredrick says about the human condition, but a lot of his solutions seem overly idealistic. I guess my question is, do they really think it will work?

@asifarahim Probably my 3rd or 4th year. I am 25, I started I think when I was 22 or 21? My parents are not educated. My father did not graduate highschool, and my mother simply did a secretarial education. So, for me there is a lot of life skill and things that may be obvious to others that are not to me. I grew up around alcohol abuse and a lot of fighting and unharmious people. There is a deep shame system in my family as a whole. It's hard to trust people because of how I was programmed by my untrusting parents. Plus, I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I am overcoming it and working on it everyday but, I don't know what it's like to be say, Leo or someone who is sharper than me. It's been interesting. I suspect over the next year things will settle down, and become more relaxed as I know more about myself and put all these tools I've been gathering to more proper use. Relaxed but active. I have a life to live. By October I will have my accounting Diploma and Qigong Certification. I will be starting my own teaching business, getting into yoga studios and ideally corperate. I think a lot of people who work office jobs will be grateful to learn Qigong. I think by mastering my body, mind and finances I will be golden even though I think my initial LP might be out of reach. I sense new horizons are on the way. I dream of running my own business and I think a lot of people can use more relaxation and body awareness that Qigong provides. There is so much stress people are holding in their bodies.

I have a week off coming up and I am setting up to plan the things I want to contemplate about. I am taking the week to read, contemplate meditate and do yoga and Qigong. A strict, no media all inner work week. I need to let go of my past mistakes and the karmic weight I carry around. Resentment towards myself and resentment towards others. I feel a fear about the future, fear of what might be creeping around every corner of my actions or the actions of others. I have a self acceptance and self love gap to travel accross. I also have a self image and actuality gap to gross. Anyway, any tips or books about self acceptance you think I might benefit from? How I can reflect on letting go of my past failures, reframing them as lessons etc I will dive into this work myself next week.

See a specialist

I kind of think psyched substance is immature and not the best role model for psyhedelics

What are the most important things to be grounded in? I think it's easy to develop some kind of spiritual identity or messiah complex than can become a mental prison For me I think these things are important 1. I am average at best unless I work on it 2. Nothing is owed to me, nothing is guaranteed, spirituality does not make you a messiah or chosen one 3. The world works as a social matrix and I am a cell in this larger body 4. Intentional, sober and practical mastery of life is fundamental 5. I am GOD, but I was God before. Now, I am changing my programming to better live my life based on embodiment and application of higher principles, insights and experiences. 6. Your inner work does not change other people and should be focused only on yourself 7. All tools for personal development need research and to be used properly and maturely. 8. Psychedelics do not change external world at all. You change people and things stay the same 9. You are normal and reality is what it is. Acceptance of the mundanity of it is important. 10. You get what you put into life 11. Stop waiting for some great permanent change of some great purpose or cause or realization. There isn't any. Any purpose is a construction you are creating. 12. Be patient with yourself. Mistakes will happen, your ego will want to cling on to things and make it all about you. 13. No matter what anyone says here, or Leo or whatever, having a therapist to talk to is important. I don't think Leo tries to not make you go to one, but he does talk them down I noticed in some recent clips. You'd be surprised they are actually very helpful. 14. Leo's videos are something that I enjoy, and can be applied intelligently to my life but he is not my leader nor my Guru. He is one of many teachers I will have in my life. I don't believe what I haven't experienced and see that he too can be deluded. No one gets a pedestal. 15. Another thing is that everyone and everything is my teacher Slow and steady. What are you using to ground yourself so you don't go insane, develop a cult psychology, become a Zen devil or develop a messiah complex?

Simulation has good content that is enjoyable to watch. He is going deep on consciousness and God these days.

Hmm, start by dipping your toes into the water. It's a little deep.. It's really powerful stuff. Try taking a quarter of what you took. Also, you are facing your death here. Let yourself go. You will be back. But, you are experiencing your death if you are gonna trip with this. Vaping is like a sledge hammer, even at at quarter of what you took. Experiences vary though. Always ensure you take proper protocol. Thanks for brining up the memory lapse. They totally happen. People need to be careful. I think Leo recommends plugging it.

It's painless. I didn't even notice it.

Hmm, good idea. I will try this out on my week coming up. I listen to too much Arcadefire ahah

Remind me to add to this in a couple days, I've got big list I can contribute.

You are already God. Don't make an ass of yourself. It's funny that on the non-dual level he IS the PRIME CREATOR OF EARTH. But, he clearly is on some kind of weird psychotic ego trip. Let's keep our feet on the ground folks.

I agree. Though, It's hard to say from his accounts what really happened. But, he is really one with everything, he is really free. He just needs to be grounded. He seems to think it was psychosis so that is okay. I hope he feels better.

What are you asking?

Maybe, just be a real, normal person. Wishing you the best. I give you permission to not be special, or godlike and just be yourself. What would a foundation look like, over the next 5 years to then start thinking about non-duality and God? I don't really know you, but I think you are unstable. God is stable. Keep working on it.

This is the common place book. I use onenote for some things, and my reMarkable tablet for a lot of distraction free contemplation and innerwork.

Make a spreasheet with your monthly expenses: Example Rent ($1000) Food ($500) Transportation ($100) Education Entertainment Savings etc Then, mutiply your 30 hours a week by the pay per hour, then multiply that by 4 to get monthly income. Use your NET INCOME, not your GROSS expecting income as your actual money that you have to use. If you base it on gross income before deductions you are operating on false expectations. Based on your expense needs, and your income you will know if it will work or not. Compare your monthly income, to your expected and planned expenses. Record your expenditure throughout the month to ensure your budget was planned properly. Make whatever adjustments are necessary until you get something that works for you. ALSO, record you actual earnings each month. This wont be easy as I am sure you will forget to follow through. But keep persisting. Basic financial systems can make or break a life purpose. If your expenses are more than your income, you have to readjust. Finances are not a guessing game. Use math, study basic personal finance.

Consider talking to a good therapist over a long term.

Think about books as slow, long term investments. The more you enjoy the process is fine. I take notes on some books, don't on others. Find what works for you. I actually love the process of reading and taking notes. When I first starting reading it was hard though, but the more I did it the more at peace with my long term journey I am in etc.

We are humans, life is complex. Even your favourite spiritual Guru has things they would rather not be known by the public. Once you are here, you are locked in. The past is the past as long as we hold onto it. This whole aspect of reality is still a mystery to me. why?

I will keep working through it. I am having trouble reconciling a lot about my conceptual reality and my direct experiences. Whatever happens happens. For now, let's work on cleaning up and foundations. I don't want to repeat my mistakes of the past. I want to be successful. I need to relate to it more empoweringly

@Nahm Lessons in life cost you years of your life. hours a labour, career captial lost. I feel like the was my opportunity as a creator and musicians and now I feel lost. I will work to process it. I don't know why the resenment doesn't go away. Maybe it's because now my life seems to suck, compared to how hers is going. Riding on the wave of my ideas and hard work. In my ego mind, we were supposed to be partners working on this project together as I developed my musicial career. But she cheated one mean stole my work. Okay,... Now I am trying to find a new route. Really, I don't even want success anymore. I just want to clear my mind up. I am getting older, and the idea of creating some wild success or escaping wage slavery.. Not possible I think. Maybe I can build my own business yet. I just have to see it work through my hard work. I have some plans here I am working on. I really really wish I was still working on my last business with her. But, she really really hurt me. I do feel like just giving up and dying sometimes. Being an old resentful loser is not something I want to be. With no success, just reminiating on the past and hating people. No. Time to work on myself. Anyway, Doing a lot more meditating and journaling lately. If I am going to continue to live on this earth, I will make the most of it. If I find the suffering is too much, I will leave the game. If I am here I will make the most of it.

I am seeing the wild fires spreading across Western US and Canada. I feel a lot of stress sometimes regarding climate change. It seems like such an important issue yet with no easy solution. I fear the little I know about systems thinking (I've read a book on intro to systems thinking and watched Leos video on it) that we aren't as a collective going to be able to turn the ship around until the damage and rate of heat gets out of hand. I don't want to sound like an alarmist, I've seen Leo downplay the dangers of climate change on the forum in the past. But, I sense humanities survival instinct and selfishness wont be able to turn it around once things get bad enough. There aren't enough resources or fire fighters to fight the fires in US and Canada as of right now. The billionaries have their sights on the 'space race' and every single person in the social matrix is simply trying to survive and make the best the can within their own locus on control. In terms of systems thinking there doesn't seem to be any right place to change the systems. Peoples lives and survival are so intertwined with the resources of this planet it seems as we restoring balance is now impossible. I'd love to help out somehow, to make positive systems changes but my power and leverage and knowledge is just so small. I think we as individuals can influences the world and make it a better place. But, with climate, social unrest, and the social matrix's health de-terriorating with poor mental health, social cohesion, etc... There doesn't seem to be a story, or a plan or a movement that will get us out of this. I have heard Leo saying things like movements are generally for fools which I think is true. But, I think we as a human race right now are sitting on a gold mine with all the access to information technology and the possibility of automation. I want to see humanity get through this and to grow into it's next stage of evolution. I want to be part of the positive changes that need to happen in the world. I have so much work to do. It's hard to remain positive, to stay strong, to believe in myself or my vision when my skills are't high enough, my resources are low, my influence is so small. I wonder... I just have to focus on helping the world in the ways I am developing. I can't be responsible for 7 billion people. It's hard to stay motivated when it seems like the world is on a sure route to environmental collapse. I am pretty sure anyone with a brain can agree we are in a climate crises. The question is, is there anything we can do? Is it too late? Then I ask myself, what is the point of my life? Why do anything at all? How can I make the world a better place? Is it possible?

Some of his insights seem pretty legit to me. I totally get what he went through. But, I'd like more info He sounds like a new ager with an ego backlash perfhaps some big ungrounding