Thought Art

I am 25, I am going bald... my knees hurt. I don't have enough money to do the things I want and have to play a long term game in order to save up... The more I learn about mastery the less likely it is music is going to work. I sometimes feel like killing myself so I can restart from the beginning. I am not the self actualizer I thought I was. I am not living up to my own expectations. I don't really have a family. There is no guarantees in reality. I feel like I have all this information but no money or time to implement it all. So, I have to settle for a mediocre life for the time being. Going through a victim thing. I really thought I was on my path to self actualizing my life purpose... but of course women cheat and then the screw you over and ruin your sense of self and business. I have life better than other people. Leo says I imagine others... But, that doesn't add up. Why would I as God be imagining this mundane existence? All of this is so gross and arbitrary. I don't know what is true, don't know who to trust, don't know... Why doesn't God allow it so I can have this knowledge about reality, mastery, life purpose etc at a younger age? It seems I came across this material to late into life. I feel a sense of hopelessness and depression. I know I am putting in the work, my life is moving forward. But, sometimes I wonder if all the suffering and constant going about mundane ordinary life is worth it. I want to live a blissful, ecstatic and creative experience. I want to spread music around the world but... I feel like I am getting too old. I am not proud of myself... This is ego. I've been suffering a lot of ego backlashes lately. Like Leo said.. "Don't shit in the pool"... Self sabotage has potentially cost me my life purpose as I saw it. Why? Why am I here? There is no reason. I am sure I will be fine. But, I don't know if I want to continue with myself sometimes. I am learning to love reality... But sometimes I hate it so much. I just want to be in Arcadefire but, I am not... I am just an ordinary asshole.

It's a forum not a chat messenger

Yeah well. These powerful substances destroy your sense of self and reality. Good luck being mature enough at 21 in our culture to handle this perfectly. How is a 21 year old going to measure their maturity with their little to no life experience? You can really hurt yourself or others with these substances. And when you do, no one will be there to help you. People will demonize you, and there will be no support from others. People already think these substances are bad, so they will assume their beliefs are founded. Plus, people here on the forum can't help you and Leo wont help you. He will encourage you to take the mind altering possibly destabilizing substance. But, the risk is 100% on you. You have to ask if that is a business decision you would make. There is no responsibility in these teachings. Leo takes no risk in your mistakes. That being said, LSD is likely not dangerous at low doses. None of us here know your situation or your maturity. Once you start taking these chemicals there is no way of knowing how your ego will respond and what stories you can tell yourself about what happened. If you do decide to take them. Be very careful, plan the trip out, let people know what you are planning to do and ensure that the set and setting is as safe as possible and be sure to have a day or 2 to do nothing and integrate.

Keep going and don't give up. I suffer from similar fears and limiting self beliefs.

@Gianna That is beautiful.

Interesting interview. Very grateful for Rak!

Yeah, maybe. But, is that absolute?

See, this is the problem with these teachings. There no checks in place for anyone to agree on anything. Why would reality be a game?

This is dangerous advice. You can't know if you are deluded or not, and it's obviously not obvious given all the self deception mechanisms. You can delude yourself and you can harm others. Given what this person has just said about being in a mental hospital saying that makes no sense. You can know given results you get within duality. But, even then.. There is a difference between being 'consciousness' and being sane, clear minded and aware. To me that is awakening.

Reality is not a game. It is real and should be taken seriously.

Honestly this is what makes this work so challenging. I don't know. I think you know whether you are conscious when you get good results, and unconsciousness when you get bad results. Sometimes you increase consciousness in one area, but it throws off the rest of your ability to be aware. It's hard because we are all alone in this. As long as we are keeping ourselves safe, staying grounded... How can we trust our own minds if we never work to discover our own self deceptions? This is really the foundation of actualized.org. The more accurate our models and perception the better. If we are getting ungrounded, scaring or hurting others then we are doing it wrong. Basically, if our consciousness changes radically too quickly there is like a 99% change you are ungrounded. This is bound to happen as we are questioning our own realities foundations, and with all the information that is flowing around the world right now. Knowing what is true, what is false is really the hardest thing and we need to approach this work with the respect and patience it requires. Awareness happens through deliberate practice, constant self reflection and admitting hard truths to ourselves. I want to also say that this isn't a place for mental health problems and it's important to ask this question to a professional. Out of curiosity can you explain in more detail what you were thinking and experiencing and why they felt the need to hospitalize you? Really, a great goal I think other than 'God Consciousness' or 'infinite understanding' which in my opinion are really pipe dreams the real goal could be developing a high level of clarity, balance and integrity. All things I am working on myself. I think it requires a lot of self love and self discipline to admit when we are wrong or deluded. It'll be okay the more you can observe yourself. I know this from observing my own ego defences and my own self deceptions, my own delusions, transference and mistakes.

Yeah. There is no need to rush into psychedelics. There are so many spiritual tools you can use. But, if you are like 25, then maybe? Honestly... I don't know anymore how I feel about these substances. They can be truth revealing but also they distort your sense of reality and can lead to foolish behaviour and ungroundedness. I thought I had a grasp on what they were but I was wrong. There is way to many bad role models in the world to know how they are to be used safely. And there is no way of knowing how you will react... Given your trauma history, ego maturity, and simply because they kill you in some ways. I've learned from direct experience that, they can show you new insights and truths into reality but they can also make you deluded.

Yes. And his work is bigger than any one of us because he serves 100,000+ people. We need to recognize and respect this. I think after Connor Murphy, and the recent suicide I am sure he feels a lot of fear around people misusing his teachings. This WILL continue to happen and is likely unavoidable. I know from doing my accounting program for example how many mistakes I make doing math etc... This is also happening all the time you are listening and creating a map of reality. So, it is a really tough situation where we need to take care of each other. I love all you guys. Let's keep each other safe. Ultimately though we need to just keep our bodies, minds, relationships, social status and finances secure and use common sense. You were God living in your own reality before awakening and you will after awakening. No amount of awakening or God realization is going to change the rules of reality. Videos like "God Realization" Speaking about ultimate power for example is very dangerous and likely to be easily misinterpreted by egos. Leo has said for everyone one of us that awakens and self actualizes 1000 will become zen devils and fuck up theirs and other peoples lives. BE CAREFUL. We need you sober, clear, grounded and healthy with a high level of honesty, integrity and ability to self reflect and own up to your own mistakes and misunderstandings. If you are tripping be grounded and don't go over board. Doing a lot of psyches will not turn you into some kind of super human guru and will likely do the opposite. Go slow, use them responsibility and you will discover some amazing stuff and grow enormously if you do it carefully. But, even if you think you are being careful there are risks. That doesn't mean you are a fucking idiot or a bad person. You simply need to take more responsbility and learn. The problem with psyches with that before you do them you go into it with all kinds of concepts, ego constructs etc.. and while you are tripping and in an altered state theres no knowing what you will say or think or conclude. This is why reading, journaling, meditation, and using low doses rarely is important. It will hurt, but don't give up. So, be really careful and don't expect the 'external' world to change because of your spirituality. Expect to change to meet reality and to serve what is already, and has already been here from a higher state of embodied understanding and wisdom. Sure, there are lots of things about reality that you have to discover and it can be recontextualized a lot but... Be safe out there and be grounded. When seeing the foolishness of others around you, in the world etc. It's easy to see there is no 'common sense'... and as you open your mind up and question the foundations of reality be sure to keep your rope tied to a tree. If you lose your mind, hurt others and destroy your life that would be a shame and a very rude awakening I would prefer we all avoid here. And I need you folks here to help me when I inevitably fall and make mistakes as well. I got you, and I know you got me. All said with healthy boundaries.

Leo's teachings are incredibly important. He is the strongest person I have ever met. But, we as his followers need to mature and take full responsibility and acknowledge what limitations and traps come with this teaching. Leo is doing God's work, that much is obvious to me. I did not say Leo Bullshits, I was saying I notice my own ego mind bullshitting.

When someone is doing work and basically becoming a central pillar of your metaphysics, epistomology etc... It is dangerous. I don't know about smoking gun. A very long lecture in which you can't ask your own questions and verify your own understanding as well as all the other perspectives and programming we have picked up from our culture make this really risky. I notice my own ego doing a lot of BS to distort his teachings to serve it's own agenda. This is one of the primary risks I think. Also, regarding psychedelics. This field is rather new and uncharted and many of the people writing books and teachings others to use them are just children in the eyes of any field. We really don't understand these substances. If you haven't used them experientially and been guided by someone who has made mistakes and learned for themselves then you will also likely make mistakes that you could not foresees. This is the risk of stepping out into the night and questioning the foundations of your reality. There should be warnings everywhere. His advanced teachings are basically useless to a newbie and it's really hard for a newbie to know what he doesn't know. But, you need to go very slowly, and be very mature to be here and do all this work. It's hard to gauge yourself until you learn the hard way sometimes. I feel worried about others. I have made many mistakes, but also learned a lot. Thinking that people are being encouraged to spend time alone contemplating, meditating and tripping I fear people will become delusional and harm themselves or others. I want Leo to ensure he doesn't just shrug people off and that he listens to people. These principles of spending time alone etc are so powerful and I have improved my life dramatically because of this. That doesn't mean mistakes haven't been made and my own ignorance hasn't been a problem. I know this world we live in is dangerous and he has to protect himself and those who are doing the hard work. I know that being a leader is difficult and life is a game of life and death. That if he wants to help the planet mature in the way he is doing many of us will make mistakes. Many of us when we begin are unfamiliar with the self help field, esoterics, psychedelics, what is means to be 'God' or 'All alone as God imagining other people". This means that without a proper listing or requisites to certain videos people are open to becoming highly deluded and full of concepts. No amount of warnings can stop a fragmented ego from fucking up and misunderstanding reality. The ego wants to cling to self serving beliefs. That being said, what drew me to his work in the first place was his teachings on self deception and the hero's journey. Even if Leo does Ban me I know I will continue to mature and take greater and greater responsibility for my life and develop a high level of life mastery even if it takes me 10 or 20 years. But, some of us doing the hard work will still make mistakes. I am journaling, reading, listening to the videos, meditation, Qigong/ Yoga, contemplation and shadow work. I am self reflecting and learning to love myself and others. I will make mistakes though. I went back to school. I am taking two programs right now working my ass off. But, Leo still can't see that. Idk. He can't see how hard I work nor the mistakes and metaphysical blunders his teaching open up to people. I am just hurt by my own stupidity. Ultimately there will be no accountability for those harmed and many people could become stranded. People don't know what they don't know. Our minds are capable of infinite self deception. They are also very limited in their ability to understand nuance, context and to see things free of ego distortion. Leo is no immune to any of this. His psychedelic use has likely both improve but also distorted his teachings in some ways. It likely depends on the video and time stamp, and is more an issue of accuracy than him being good or bad. Reality is not so simple. A lot of time needs to be spend on the most basic of foundations. Like any tool we have to be trained to use it. I will become wise. I wont give up. I am here to self actualized. To embody a wise life I have to go through the trial and tribulations and pay the price to get there. We all do. Ultimately only you can live your own life and take your own responsibility for your actions. Chances are though, you will suffer a lot and make a lot of mistakes along the way. Leo is one of many teachers you can listen to throughout your life. Be patient. There is no one out there to stop you from becoming a Zen Devil and no way of knowing that people calling you one is true or not. Leo doesn't know us. Ultimately we are words on a screen, stats and views to him in his understanding of us. It's impossible for him to know millions of people. Which is one of the challenges. His work is very very important and will change the world for the better. But we as followers need to mature and rise up to meet the task if we are going to take this seriously. This needs to be a space to share our lessons and mistakes and to be able to take full responsibility for ourselves. I don't want to fear being banned because I make a mistake on a trip. That is foolish to me. I have put way too much time into this project to feel cast aside and buried. I can see that being dangerous for people. Leo is like a friend and a guide to me. I work to respect his work with all my heart. But, I have so many ignorances and limitations. I WILL grow. Do not give up on me and I won't give up on you. We are so much more.

Not blaming him. But, there are huge massive dangers that his teachings provide. Reality as a whole is dangerous. He should be creating courses that guide people through and have proper checks in place. Anyone can start watching his more advanced materials as he does not create any pre-requisites. It's not just Leo's teachings but spirituality and all the foolish ideas that go along with it. It should not lead to you harming yourself or others, thinking there is some kind of divine plan for you or you becoming broke and homeless. You have been God, within God this entire time. That doesn't and will not change. There are so many perspectives and possibilities and Leo's teachings that you are alone, immortal, that you created him etc are all dangerous teachings that can be easily misunderstood and misapplied. The problem is you may get so lost in your own mind and concepts and contextualizations of these things you might ruin your life and it could take years if not decades to create what you can given how badly you ruined your life. These teaching are not fool proof. Life is not fool proof. Leo has no fucking idea who you are, what you are doing or what your situation is. You have a life to live so be balanced and wise.

Honestly, this expectation that average people are supposed to understand Leo's teachings without the ability to ask questions, make mistakes or have people guide him is dangerous. He teaches us to spend a lot of time alone doing the work but when we make mistakes or misunderstand him it's all on us. Which is true. We need to take full responsibility for our minds. Leo will not help you if you are making mistakes. He will protect himself first. I had my first mistakes 2 days ago, which was rare and I've taken very seriously. But, he only threatened to ban me. Which is fine if he feels it is necessary. I've committed thousands of hours listening to his videos, meditation, reading the books list and honestly I have misunderstood things at times... But, if these are the most advanced teachings in the world... So.. Banning me when I have put so much work in and can use these mistakes to guide and protect others who may make the same mistakes is important. So, be very careful everyone. There is no one going to protect or help you on this journey other than yourself. Will be speaking to other experts who will help me improve and taking time to read more and set up more protocols over the next year. Hate to tell this to everyone... No one anyone says is enough to prove your own sanity and ability to make decisions. The brain is totally possible to screw up and mistakes can't be undone. Make sure you are reading, studying, and doing medicines under supervision of experts. Psychedelics really should be done under professional supervision. Telling people to trip solo is bad advice. Also, be careful of people trip shaming you. What you do during a trip is your responsibility but, there is not need to shame someone I think. Education, Education, Education. Reality is outrageously complex. These teachings are for free on youtube. Don't let any of that fool you. These teachings have changed my life and I will continue to develop myself into my greatest version. But, we need to be able to make mistakes. 5meodmt is not the truth. You can have delusions, misunderstand the insights and even harm others. The truth is something to gain by years of work, study and deep work. It's a combination of the tools and the truth exists outside of your work, and through your work and the truth would exist without you doing any work.

I would imagine you will be fine. You seem open, so does she. I don't think I changed much after.

I don't expect to see this kind of foolishness on this forum. Check yourself. Basically, that past 1000 years everyone was extremely selfish and ethnocentric. That is the truth, you may not like it but the US was built on a lot of slavery... and systemic racism is real. Take a look at the history of marijuana and psychedelics laws too... sad. US is going to need to face it's shadow.

Set long term lens and never quit until you get into a better position. You got this.

The Food industry is a great place. I studied International Food Business in University. There is so much exciting developments and opportunities all around the world. Wishing you well on your journey! @Sucuk EkmekThat comment seems kinda dickish... Of course there are food alternatives..

Lol your so full of shit. His new content gets better and better. Admittedly, sometimes his videos seem a bit to casual... But, he has put out some of his best work the past few months... The Wisdom Video, The Integrity video, the Holistic thinking video... His how your mind interprets reality etc.

I think he has addressed this before. Not sure where.

You just aren't in the right state of consciousness.... But for now, look. Anything at all exists and it is earth and people etc... That is only possible because of the fundamental oneness and intelligence.

Not this not that. Everything Now. Nothing.