Thought Art

You can save a life by speaking up for sure.

I am okay with that as a truth. I just don't understand it. and if I am playing, there is no risk here because I am eternal and infinite and I am just entertaining myself for eternity. But, I do not KNOW THAT FOR SURE. For me, actually it seems so far given, all my life experience to live as if other exist. Because even from a materialist perspective I am imagining others... ?? I know I am, as I sit here imagining Leo, you and others outside of my direct experience. I know I am imaging the things I am experience too even from a neuroscience perspective. It's like, this totally unverifiable thing as far as I can tell. But, this is why I am here to awaken, learn and find out.

Just continue to share you views, and simply observe. More people will be sharing their stories as time unfolds. Like his God realization video, and he Exercise for realizing you are God video... Either it's really just ME. JUST THIS BUBBLE EXPERIENCE PRETENDING YOU BE ON A FORUM. Or, he is dangerously talking people into solipsism where it is like, just you and Leo because you 'Created Leo'... No. Sure, as God the universal me created and allowed all things. But, not you or me. We are part of this impersonal process. But, if it was just YOU, or just ME... Why would I create this forum? Where there is seemingly other people interacting. I mean, think supply chains, populations, politics, survival etc... All of this is because there are many beings here on this planet. I think there are many times when he has not made it clear this difference between maybe what is ABSOLUTE, and what is Relatively TRUE. But, for the sake of your life what is relatively true it far more important to your well being. People have no fucking idea what is true already... People are so uneducated, self deceived, ego centric, immature. Look at both myself in some context and people like Connor Murphy. I am sure for every 1 famous Connor Murphy there have been 1000's of other fools no one knows about because they have no platforms for us to know. Hey, maybe going insane is part of your process. But, if it can be avoided we all as a community need to ask more powerful questions and take more collective responsibility (as Leo loves to pout... but his embodiment is not complete in any regard). I personally think the world needs an Actualized.org. So, I am here to support Leo as well as anyone. We need to seriously look out for each other. I am here for you guys as long as I am welcome in this space. We are all fail-able. This is serious shit.

It's such a massive undertaking he has done. I really do think he is trying his best. I don't know what to think about Actualized.org except, there is ALOT of good stuff here. That it is radical, and dangerous. Rarely will anything that influences millions of people in such a radical way as Leo is trying to do going to not hurt people. I mean, fuck. I wouldn't be able to do what he is doing knowing I will kill people and ruin lives. But, then again God created a world in which these things happen... I am sure he feels that the Good will outweigh the bad in the long run... All I hope is that whatever problems there are begin to get corrected.

You ain't gonna choose for there not to be a day and night cycle, your next bowel movement or need to eat... Spirituality needs to be grounded in the mundane.

I completely agree. I think his teachings are likely ruining some lives, improving others. He seems to be off in his own world doing the teachings he wants to without checking in with us, doing polls, asking us questions, seeing what our needs are etc. He is in his own world I think too much and the nature of some of his teachings are misleading. Then, when people make mistakes he gets scared because his brand is on the line. There is a reason the medicine science etc works the way it does because it has so many risks. He can shit on modern post secondary institutions but they are far more powerful for ensuring that people actually understand what is being taught. That is why there is testing, standardized testing etc. Esoterics are more challenging and inherently dangerous because he is trying to teach a large audience of people how to reprogram their own minds. He is asking a shit tonne from his audiences. People don't know what they are getting themselves into. I didn't. My misinterpretations and applications of what he has told me has hurt me in pretty big ways. But, I was a fool already hurting my life before his teachings so, I am not blaming Leo. There is no way of knowing you interpreted him correctly. None, there is no back and forth and no accountability. The power dynamic is also strange. The forum has so many limitations as well. He could be asking us more directly what we are experiencing etc... But, he is so fucking steeled and confident, and egotistical he does not do this. He doesn't get how naive, epistemologically fragile we are. Some of his metaphysical videos are so sloppy, confusing and distorting.. You can really lose your mind from them. Something needs to be done, but I have to observe him and learn more before I can know what. I love Leo man, but I love God and the planet as a whole.

Sorry, I wasn't saying anything about you specifically. Trying to make general statements for all of us, regardless of teacher or influencer or field, or school of thought, or religion, or perspective, or interpretations.

Yeah well. Leo has elements of being a Zen Devil. You should expect such. Don't give your authority to some guy on the internet. He is a limited human being who lacks social sensitivity especially on the forum. He admits this to be a weakness. Once he made a joke on the forum saying "whenever you would smoke weed smoke 5meodmt" Which I took seriously. I wouldn't expect someone so wise to be so fucking inconsiderate. I assumed he respected the substance as much as he expects others to do. I failed to be responsible here. But, I am just as prone to self deception as anyone. He has many peoples lives in his hands and he can't fuck around. You made your bed, so commit 100% to being of integrity Leo. We love and need you to be the best you can be. He has a lot of responsibility and should ultimately be held accountable. I would like to see him more vulnerable. But, I am sure he is so steeled from years of interacting with thousands of people... He has a strong fucking will more than anyone I've ever seen. Like, he could be a president... Strong man. He is young, foolish and likely over his head. He has no way of testing how his videos will affect people, and he is likely to blame you for 'miss applying spiritual teachings'... Which is your responsibility, but also he is responsible to. This who game is dangerous and we should expect such. You are literally playing with your entire reality.

Be mindful of thinking everything he says is absolutely true. Leo is young and still learning. Sure, he is a Mountain. But, even then. Not everything he says is likely to be true or accurate. Like anyone he is likely to make mistakes, or to fail to share things that are true to everyone. I think he has a high degree of accuracy. But, for example his ability to heal himself or transmit teachings to people through his mind (which I think he thought he was going to be able to do.. but don't quote me) never came to be. Even Leo I am sure gets swept up by the radical nature of psychedelic use and his own unique limitations and blind spots. You have to be mature and verify things for yourself. Which, would take you 20-30 years if you are working on your job. I am thinking Leo has a super powerful epistemology and metaphysics compared to 99% of the population. But, be wary of the limitations of his medium. Lectures are one of the weakest form for teaching people because they are so passive. They are long, passive, and there is so much information you will be misunderstanding things, forgetting things, not hearing things, distorting what he is saying through your own lens. Obviously you can take notes, pause the video, contemplate etc to improve the experience. Basically, the risk of misapplication is massive. Be careful. Go slow.

No matter how careful Leo is, due to the nature of learning, trial and error and self deception people are going to make critical errors. You can spend time around Leo and his confidence but that does not mean you are mature, understand what he is saying and aren't distorting his teachings for your own spiritual and ego games. He can't fool proof the teachings. A fool can easily turn wisdom into a donkey dick smashing through your intestines and killing you. Check out my post on The importance of Gourd-crafting.

Yup. Your brain matters. If you are taking the risk to expose them to mind altering chemicals then do the most you can to limit the potential of any possible damage.

1. Don't expect a permanent anything with psychedelics. Sure, there will be changes that will last going forward. But, just let the experience be what it is. 2. Make sure you are in the right setting, and if others are around you they are aware and have consented to have you tripping in their space. They should be knowledgeable about the substance and how to trip sit people. If they are trip sitters even better! Be sure to set guidelines and expectations with them. 3. If you choose to trip alone, have a friend you trust willing to be on call stand by just in case you are having a bad experience you may want someone to talk to. They should know the address and location of where you are tripping. The substance and the dosage you are taking and have an emergency contact to call if things go wrong. 4. Don't make any rash decisions while tripping. Let whatever insights that come up get written down so you can reflect on them while sober. Put away social media, etc and be with the experience. 5. Be very careful, realize that reality will come back and be just as it was before the trip. Reality goes on. No matter how radical the experience NO ONE ELSE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. So, be respectful and discreet. 6. One you are sure you have taken proper protocol and you are in the right headspace, set and setting then enjoy! Bonus: Just because you had a great experience once, doesn't mean anything for the future of your trips. DO NOT USE THESE SUBSTANCE CHRONICALLY. They are a tool, not a blanket you can hide under. They can change your life for the better when used responsibly but they can FUCK YOU UP, and your relationships if used irresponsibly. Things you can't undo or take back. Be responsible my beautiful friend. The stronger the spiritual tool the more responsibility and preparation it requires. Be safe!

Hey, I warn against combining psychedelics and substances. I think you can get great insights with one psychedelic... I am gonna say don't spread information of mixing things. I know people who do this, but I don't think it can be a good thing. You might had an adverse reaction and wouldn't be able to pinpoint what or how.

Guided meditations like headspace could help? It's important to become aware of our motivations and why we are doing what we are doing.. The chasing of mystical experiences should be far second to the training and development of a clear mind and good character. But, that only happens through practice, mistakes, training, deliberate practice, failure etc... Maybe you are meditating too 'hard' thinking it is supposed to be a big thing. Now, there are lesser and more advanced meditation techniques. I have had OBE's while doing Qigong and Krya yoga.. But, really, be honest with yourself why you are doing what you are doing.

Man, if I have forever to exist as eternal unity, I might as well play games.. have ups and downs etc There is no rush here. And, only a fool thinks they can transcend what is here. Being a human is all these things.

I like the app VideoLeap, super easy and powerful

How Loss Can Mean Gain A man discovered a new region in which to live. A few days after settling himself, a violent storm swept over the land. He trembled in fear over what he believed to be a great loss. However, to his surprise, the storm swept away only the unrooted and useless. He was grateful for the storm which has revealed and removed the useless. That is how psychic storms can work for our benefit. To observe conflicts and contradictions within ourselves is no cause for dismay. They are present only because there are things you do not yet understand. This lack of knowledge is no problem. All you need to do is achieve understanding. Then, the psychic storm is over. One woman told me that while she did not as yet grasp the esoteric principle of self-observation, she sensed its importance. That is how necessary knowledge comes to us: by a faint whispering, which eventually turns into clear hearing. Let me ask a question of those who have entered the esoteric way, even a short distance: do you hear that faint whispering that here at last is something real? How To Be Humiliated and Appreciate It Whoever can find positive value in a seemingly negative condition is a truly wise individual. It can be done with every negative condition, but let's select those times when you feel shamed or humiliated. Wha is humiliation? Follow closely. It is the puncturing by reality of some imaginary picture we have of ourselves. We hold a secret positive imaginary picture we have of ourselves. We hold a secret picture of being noble, or honest or kindly, or of possessing other virtues. Something happens that proves that we have deceived ourselves, and down we fall into humiliation. Because the shame is painful to the ego, it creates other self-defeating emotions, including anger, envy and despair. Now, we can find positive value in humiliation by accepting it, that is, by voluntarily permitting the humiliation to run it's full course. We neither resist nor resent it. The pain in humiliation exist in the gap between the fact and the fancy about ourselves. By allowing humiliation to have it's own way, the gap disappears, and so does pain. "Then faults turn to good, because they humiliate without discouraging." (Francois Fenelon)

The Importance Of Gourd-Crafting (NSFW) There was a maid servant who had cleverly trained a donkey to perform the services of a man From a gourd she had carved a flanged device to fit on the donkey's penis, to keep him from going too far into her. She had fashioned it just to the point of her pleasure, and she greatly enjoyed the arrangement, as often as she could! She thrived, but the donkey was getting a little thin and tired looking. The mistress began to investigate. One day she peeked through a crack in the door and saw the animal's marvellous member and the delight of the girl stretched under the donkey She said nothing. Later, she knocked on the door and called the maid out on an errand, a long and complicated errand I won't go into details The servant knew what was happening, though. "Ah, my mistress," she thought to herself, "You should not send away the expert. When you begin working without full knowledge, you risk your life. Your shame keeps you from asking me about the gourd, but you must have that to join with this donkey. There is a trick you don't know!" But the woman was to fascinated with her idea to consider any danger. She led the donkey in and closed the door, thinking, "with no one around I can shout in my pleasure." She was dizzy with anticipation, her vagina glowing and singing like a nightingale. She arranged the chair under the donkey, as she had seen the girl do. She raised her legs and pulled him into her. Her fire kindled more, and the donkey politely pushed as she urged him to, pushed through and into her intestines, and without a word she died. The chair fell one way, and she the other. The room was smeared with blood. Reader, have you ever seen anyone martyred for a donkey? Remember what the Qur'an says about the torment of disgracing yourself. Don't sacrifice your life to your animal soul! If you die of what that leads you to do, you are just like this woman on the floor. She is an image of immoderation. Remember her, and keep your balance. The maidservant returns and says, "Yes, you saw my pleasure, but you didn't see the gourd that put a limit on it. You opened your shop before a master taught you the craft." -Rumi ---------- After some recent experiences this poem continued to pop up into my head. I can think of all the times in my life which I did not take into account the craft of gourd-making in my own way, which has lead to trouble and risks. I think we can learn a lot from this rather crude poem... That we can have the pleasures and the goods from out spiritual, professional, sexual, strategic etc endeavours. But, have we made sure the donkey is wearing the gourd? Are we in balance? Are we open to asking questions to ensure we are going about our practice in the right and balanced way? This I think it true of many Leo's teachings! Much love.

I do not. God, though I am sure it is love at it's core is not to be 'trusted' imo... You can only develop a level of relationship to God, or this reality we are in as humans on this physical place of mundane systemic survival.. Sure, there are layers to this thing. I think God is love at it's core. I just think all this suffering and my own stupidity makes me question in some ways why God would allow me to do those things... I also think about climate change, social inequality, rape, war, 400 years of slavery etc... God just allows that shit. I mean, Trust is God but do not trust in Men. I can't quite reconcile that yet as God and Men are one. It seems God as man is only good as man is in it's relationship to God. I trust God in that I trust myself... But, I do not trust myself because of the nature of self deception and having to operate via impartial information, my ADHD and my past 5 years of foolish self discovery. I think god is Good with a captial G. But, that does not guarantee my ego will have its fantasies and needs met. God is a trust worthy as I am. As integrated and evolved as I am. That is all. I trust in God that there are certain principles that if we live by them and embody them wisely, and the fact that anything exists at and and what we experience here as humans is so beautiful suggests that God is good. I think God IS Trust with a captial T.

@Onecirrus I have been here many times. I think it was this sort of toxic drive that was feeding my psychedelic use. I was trying to kill myself so I could be reborn, or be 'selfless'... Well, It didn't happen. In fact I want to live a great life now more than ever. I have been were you are. Again, as I have been telling people please seek and talk to a professional. You'd be amazed how much just knowing you have someone to talk to and are taking the proper steps towards a healthy mind can do for you. For me booking a therapist on better help was like a 180c change from a month ago because I was feeling suicidal over the difficulty of life, my family situation, shadow aspects I was having trouble accepting, climate change, the state the worlds mental health and social crises... IT all seems so much sometimes. Do not rest in your current psychic location.

It's this whole language... imaginary vs real thing I think can be metaphysically and epistemology misleading. Not because it's wrong, but because it's so open to interpretation and the consequences of these types of thoughts on your decision making when you have not grocked what is really being understood by Leo.

Martin is an interesting guy. I have to observe him more closely. I can't tell where he is cold and where he is warm. ... Nor myself for that matter.

Try Qigong. Many people in our Holden Qigong community share that they have healed migraines and cluster headaches.

I think it's important to realize that you are doing the right things. You are: 1. Seeking professional help 2. Trying out different techniques 3. Noting the limitations of the current tools you have at your disposal and groping along the edges of your awareness... I also am struggling with this problem. I am thinking that a major part is to really just accept and feel the pain instead of hiding from it. It might take some kind of radical reconextualization of your constructs and body awareness... Last night I was speaking to my sister who is a social working and we were talking about the integration of things like Rational emotive behavioural therapy, mindfulness meditation and noting technique and things like Yoga and Qigong to thickening the vagus nerve. This is one of the reasons I really think guided body scans from the Fabulous app, or similar are usefull because they allow us to develop these soft skills of feeling inward. We need to gain a level of self understanding that I don't think even a lot of western therapist understand about themselves. I think that with the right tool sets, guidance, mistakes and practices we can change ourselves for the better. Don't give up. We live in the information age you as you mature you will master your own being.