Thought Art

Decide for yourself. You don't really need to lower how you feel just because the person next to you is having a bad day. You can protect your own energy as state as the sovergien being you are. Doesn't mean you need to be a dick to others. As long as you aren't abusing others, teachings, etc you are fine. If you find you are making mistakes, hurting others, lying, abusing, playing ego games... then reflect on that and do the work. I don't think any of us are completely free of zen devil (or just regular devil behaviour) like its an on or off swtich. The ego is way to complex. We work on it over time. This is why spiritual identities are problematic because you will likely fail to meet your own expectations of yourself in certain times and contexts. Just focus on doing the work imo. Be a real person. Connor Murphy made his living as a youtuber who made prank videos, and took his shirt off in front of women. The guy clearly wasn't going to become an enlightened master in a day. People need to look at his background to really understand why he went the way he did. There was no way he was going to go about spirituality in the same way he had built his whole career and success. Thought, naturally, that is how he went about it. He didn't understand what psychedelics where as he went about them like he would in the gym, etc... He needed to craft his gourd, but he didn't and got the donkey dick to the intestines. These teachings are a lot for anyone. We will all likely lose our footing, misapply things, make mistakes etc.. Ideally however, we have the integrity and maturity to self reflection and not drag everyone else down with us anymore than we did during our confusion. Connor has no foundation of maturity. It was like giving a shot gun to a toddler. I am wishing Connor well, and hopefully he learns from all of this and becomes a mature human being over the next 10 years. Being a Zen devil is a real risk and it is more likely that we are Zen Devils than we are fully enlightened or God realized. So, yes. Take that very seriously, and avoid building a spiritual identity. But, keep moving forward. The fruits of spiritual progress are there for you in the end I think. We were, and we are all devils. I am not really into Devil shaming, but devil loving. Applied intelligently that is.

@Nahm Yeah, but they are real for those who are drowning in them. One must gain mastery over their minds!

This feeling trapped feeling is something I can relate to. I feel like my mind is free by I have so many constraints of physical reality and the needs of survival in this social matrix. It can be heart breaking.

I am aware of this. It's a complicated set of systems.

That is great! I find the more I practice and the deeper I go I am going through paradigm changes. I was also skeptical at first, but it's pretty self evident if you just put the time in! Great to hear

There are plenty of books on this and entire schools of psychology around changing your entire inner dialogue. Leo has man books on his book list.

Hmmm, I don't agree but with what you say above, but there is nothing wrong with trying out being with a man

Maybe just try it out??

Great thread! I want to see more like this

Maybe find a balance of doing the guided meditations (Have you tried headspace?) and your solo meditations. If you keep practicing the more skillful you get from doing the guided ones should help you improve your solos. You wont get stuck if you keep working on it. I used headspace for about 40 minutes a day for a year and now I can go pretty deep solo. It's like training wheels. Also, that is what meditation is on some level. Getting to observe your own mind and it's patterns. I am not sure I fully understand your situation but I will respond more if you do

Adding a short Yin yoga or Qigong set to help you balance your in and yang energies could be useful. I find when I meditate after a good Qigong set at night I am off to have the deepest sleep.

You can take those fluffy inclinations and make them real. Lots of people are doing it. There are so many spiritual businesses out there that never even heard of actualized.org.

Women don't owe men sex, I think that is a given... No one is saying that. But, men speaking about how they understand women as they are doing pickup is different. It's probably an uncomfortable conversation for many women but, men do pickup and discuss their game. I think it's a good thing that men understand female psychology as long as they aren't being abusive. Don't confused 'Game language' phrases like 'reward and punishment' nuance is important here. Women do however have a psychology and not all women want the same thing, it depends on the context.

He does say in some videos that he doesn't recommend weed as a tool for personal growth but understands some people are drawn to it

Try getting someone with severe autism to fully awaken, or an ant or a dog. We all have different capacities and inclinations of how to progress spiritually. I think God realization is one path, but there are many out there I think have fruit.

Take care. imo your scope is a bit small

Just got my first covid shot of Moderna. It was painless and quick. I feel it moving through my system and its not the most pleasant but I am glad to have it. Getting the next when when the time comes. I personally haven't felt any fear throughout this whole pandemic because I've been home the whole time. But, I feel better knowing things will hopefully open up more soon...

Sounds like neediness to me. I've learned that walking away from neurotic people, or letting people leave is the healthiest thing to do... Just trust your own intuition

Personally for me he is an archetype of the ideal human. Wise, compassionate, aware of his truth nature of God... I don't know if he was a real person or just a story. For me he is just an ideal. He is something different for many people.

Low quality post imo! It's not about Leo Personally he has never been in any of my dreams which is weird because the last few years I've listened to Leo more than anything else... Trying to wrap my head around this mountainous catalogue of videos. Though, to me it makes perfect sense if you are listening to him that you would have him in a dream. I don't know what dreams are yet. I've had visionary dreams of future events, but most of my dreams are mundane meaningless random imo I think it's important to respect the forum you know, and when we say things like "Was it Kinky?" It lowers to quality of the space. Please don't shit in the pool. This is a place for us to grow into wise and mature people.

(Shower Thoughts and creative thinking... These videos leave me scratching my head because Leo seems so grounded in like 95% of his videos) When watching this video: https://www.actualized.org/articles/an-advanced-explanation-of-god-realization Leos says things like: 1. He doesn't have his own consciousness 2. That only I exist and only my bubble of existence exists and that this is the whole universe. Which is a radically different, complete 180 as to how I was raised and how I interpreted the last 25 years with all it suffering, stupidity, ups and downs, song writing, etc... 3. But then when he talks about this new psychedelic he has found he says it worked for him but he doesn't know if it will work for others. This seems confusing and paradoxical for me. How can there be a God realization chemical, that wouldn't work for me if I am God? Is that just more of my infinite intelligence fooling myself? I mean, at that point there is not fucking chemicals. So, if I am God I would give it to myself to save the world if I could. But... there is no world. Just me. So, why do I suffer? Just for the thrill and adventure of it? If I was God I would find a way to save the planet (which apparently doesn't exist other than in my imagination). To spread infinite love and endless beauty, forgiveness, safety, self acceptance, unity, beauty of the highest magnificence that never ended. I would be a sparkling jewel and a mirror to the world, to myself to remind myself of my true nature. Or, am I just an egocentric ape listening to another ape who got too high on drugs and started tricking the other apes to think they are all alone? I would fully accept myself, others, and love other unconditionally yet, with the right balance and intelligence. I would be supersymmetry. I would be perfect balance, perfect understanding, perfect beauty. I would be self forgiveness, unity and love. Nothing else matters. Not when we only live once. Infinite Love, embodied in a mature way is the only thing that makes sense. I might take my many more years to wrap my head around all this. To Put Leo's teaching in their right place. Perhaps I all ready am this perfection. Just, that the Tao has the yin and yang, good and bad to make the whole thing more interesting. If I was God I would embark on the perfect adventure and create a bread crumb trail for myself to awaken. So far this seems to be the case... All this is said because I take self deception very seriously and realize that no one, not even 'Imaginary Leo' is free from self deception, the potential to be a Zen devil or unconsciously a cult leader etc. I don't think Leo is a cult leader. But, this whole "You are alone, you created me thing" Could be risky if there is an external world and other people. Sorry if this seems stupid. There seem to be unreconcilable statements made in this video I find confusing. When he says I am God and I am the whole universe as this bubble of experience... That he doesn't have his own awareness and he is just my own bubble of consciousness speaking to itself... But then talks about how he could be chasing sex, money etc but doesn't because he isn't deluded and then says he has this chemical that might not work on me? ----Semi Joking here... Sharing shower thoughts-----(How can someone who has no consciousness or bubble of experience do a psychedelic, create a game like Bioshock infinte which got a 10/10, struggle with women and then do pick up at the age of 27, create a life purpose course, etc etc..... AM I just as this infinite bubble of experience creating backdrops and stories to ground myself in this game or story I have created for myself. Is this what infinity does with it's time? Play these crazy hide and seek games? Am I the game I created to play with in this state on a relative level? Is that the joke here. Leo was a video game designer, Leo is God, I am God playing a video game I created myself As I am actually Leo, more Leo than Leo is Leo because I created him?). I put myself to sleep, and then created Leo to wake me up as I got older?). It seems more likely I am just a highly evolved ape, amongst many others. I am aware that I am God, that I am Part of God but to be the WHOLE of God? Surely he is conflating absolute or relative or I am doing so here. This whole topic just seems like stupidity and foolishness to me. Surely, I am not all alone here. Which would be fine. But, it seems like a cosmic joke or something that I am here asking this if that is the case. It's making my laugh out loud. An infinite void typing away, feeling confused and kind of stressed when it already knows all the answers. What is going on? Because it seems like I am just one human on a planet with billions of other humans partaking in a very real and brutal game of survival. It seems as if my consciousness is produced by a nervous system (sure, grounded in Chit), but that there are billions if not trillions or and infinite amount of perspectives around the world. Leo also says things like, God wants to live in every house hold doing everything that is currently happening on the planet. Yet, if I am the only bubble then God wants to be a white 25 year old Canadian who is grappling with his own self-actualization journey toward becoming a more consciousness and loving human despite all his limitations and challenges. What am I not getting here? Is he speaking about states of awareness that are internal? is he speaking about my experience relative to what I will ever experience as a human because I can't prove or disprove this claim that others exist? The fact that anything exists at all and it is so immersive and powerful yeah, this very moment is infinite intelligence, and absolute relativity makes perfect sense to me and this whole game of keeping me asleep makes sense as well. I mean, it seems a little over kill that it is just this bubble and nothing else to have all this richness and complexity, and mundanity etc. I will ask more questions openly because I am trying to figure out what he is doing? Is he playing spiritual games with my mind? Then, what the fuck am I doing here? What about climate change, life purpose, awakening, friendships.. If I am imagining it all willingly as a bubble of experience in an infinite void in which everything that is taking place within the void is just he infinite show that God plays with itself... If God was infinitely intelligent then why couldn't God be more than One? If God is so Radically One that this is the only experience in the entire universe than, that is pretty fucking cool but I am done with some things. Like, fake friends and anxieties of what others think of me. There seem to be very real external limitations that are place on me. God must really like Dark Souls type games because this entire thing is on like Hard Mode. You know? Is there fate? am I really in a dream with no meaning or outcome? Then why have I ever since I was a kid had vivid dreams of future events that ACTUALLY HAPPEN EXACTLY AS I DREAMED THEM. Sometimes weeks in advance or something years in advance. That must mean the future actually already exists right now. One time after speaking to Leo I went and got on the bus 14, which was the bus 111 and on that bus was this balled man, who looked just like Leo AND he spoke with a Russian accent. It was so weird. I didn't add meaning to it I took literally I just thought it was funny. "I can't get my head around it I thought I found it but I found out I don't know shit..." I am just speculating.. Sharing my delusions, sharing my questions. I personally take up Neitches philosphy of the free spirit and can entertain ideas without attaching to them. So, I don't operate as if anything here is true. I just can't reconcile his guided realization you are God or some of the statements made in the above video.

A big part of my life purpose is creating sacred space for people to change themselves and to heal. I see this coming more and more into my life as those around me now begin to ask me for guided meditations, Qigong, and more. I think more than ever, and with Leo's last video that I feel called to create sacred space for people to: 1. De-armour, reconnect with their bodies, hearts and breath 2. Feel safe, seen and accepted 3. Switch from flight or fight into relaxation and restore 4. Create spaces for peoples shame, self hatred and struggles to be met with love and acceptance 5. To allow people to feel that in their vulnerability they can be seen by others without fear of judgement 6. To create a space where esoteric wisdom is openly discussed and encouraged A lot of people I know are stage green environmental and social activists who are feeling extremely overwhelmed with the state of the world. My goal with created spaces where I share Qigong, meditation and esoteric wisdom is to share with them the importance of finding restoration and coming inside to create a more robust esoteric psychology and spiritual embodiment as these activists spend a lot of time struggling with global truths they have little control over and which causes a lot of stress. I am giving them tools which they can use for massive leverage within their own locus of control for peace, clarity, compassion etc. People are grateful and keep coming back for me. So, I have to trust in this process and take more responsibility to ensure I am purified, and I can show up as imperfect too as an equal participant in the space. I am and have been in a permanent push toward creating a sacred space in my life. I am excited to see how things progress as I mature. This calling will take a lot of maturity and I think I am going to be able to meet the task as I continue to grow over the coming years. There is a lot of responsibility in working to create these spaces. It's a fine balance of leading and being led by those who come into my space. The wiser I become through my own trials and tribulations the more I see the importance of creating these spaces for people to be real, raw and to share that space with like minded people. I know people who are coming to my spaces say they feel huge changes in their lives. We need more spaces for people to become unified as more and more of our social matrix rots and becomes fragmented. There is no right leader in this, someone has to do it. I am feeling called to create these spaces. Right now I am just serving my friends, and creating the space where we can all be real, vulnerable and heal and change our stories into something constructive. We need liminal space. "Magicians do not try to force social change because they realize that people need to be able to take their journeys in order to be able to live in a human and peaceful world"

I liked this video. I felt more love for others... and for myself

I've tried this whole 'It's the person not the appearance thing' and it just doesn't work for me. I can be your friend, and enjoy your company but if we are going to date, move in together and have sex then I have to be really into you. You need to turn me on.. Obviously looks aren't everything but they need to be there for me.