Thought Art

Depends on your perspective

@Moksha Exactly, I think they are important but they seem to take up a lot of peoples headspace. I am just saying, to expand and integrate. Psychedelics are great. But I also don't think people are honest with themselves about their own stability and maturity. Especially on the forum. Even I struggle with that because self knowledge takes time.

Okay, so you see my point. Also, life is more for my personally than just a spiritual path. Psychedelics make up only at least 10% of my spiritual practice (journaling, reading, Qigong, meditation, yoga, breathwork, deep relaxation make up the majority), and 1 percent or less of my entire life practice. Psychedelics aren't going to train your mind, improve your Qi, teach you intimacy, do all your shadow work, your delusional grandiose fantasies etc... Imo they can help. But so does being sober, in solitude and working on yourself. Or going out and getting life experience, taking courses etc. . If you think they are more than 1%, maybe right now for you. But, I bet things will change if you are seriously not using them recreationally. I personally don't think things like skills, finance, work life, your own business etc are separate from spirituality. Being a mature, clear minded person who is adept to life, who is sane, balanced, strong minded. This is all part of spirituality to me personally. I know we all have our own maps, and not one is better than another.

If you want to be safe, stick to low to moderate doses. Read trip reports, and ideally stay within what is already well explored. The less known a substance is the more dangerous it can be. I personally like dipt. but anyway.

Also this, Drop the dogma, drop the idealogy of someone not agreeing with you being against you or needing a beating. I am not against psychedelics. But, tripping alone wont improve your life or the world. There is work to be done. Don't get me wrong, tripping is work. But, its only one facet of a massive puzzle.

They are powerful, but they will not take you to the highest levels of life mastery and experience alone. They are a tool YOU are the other 99% and how you show up everyday. Don't depend on a substance to do the work for you. The state of a 5meodmt trip is a Total Infinite Victory. Perfection. But, then the other 99% of your life you can use that insight. Even if you trip once a week. What are you planning on getting out of it? I mean, these substance have moved mountains within me. Don't get me wrong I am no poopooing here. I am just saying you may like to be mature and realistic about these substances. You still need to train your mind, balance and open up you Qi, kundalini, self inquiry, personal finance, skill development survival, life purpose if you want to etc. I mean, you don't need to do anything in life. I am just speaking by personal experience. How can you have the audacity to claim you know Truth through psychedelic use if you are broke, depressed, addicted, confused, experience mental health delusions and confusions, bi-polar disorder, demonizing others etc. Your just a devil in that case. To me, to be a person a truth is to actually master life totally. Because, then you are just playing with toys in that case. To know Truth, is one thing. But to embody is totally is another. Truth is Love. Truth is in all things. But, a life well lived is the only goal that makes sense. Whatever that means for you. Whats the point of tripping if you are stuck in wage slavery, or are neurotic, deluded, have no skillset, smoke weed all day etc. They are not a big slice of the pie. They can be massive powerful tools for inner alchemy. But, they don't do the job all the way. I don't feel like I experienced 'God' or 'Truth'. It seemed Absolute. But, its also relative. It was very interesting. It was perfection, total lack of bias, Love for everyone, everything forever. So, maybe that is God. But so is all the suffering and fake friends lol If anything, 5meodmt or other psychedelics reveals to you the possibilities of life, the importance of spiritual practice, compassion, self forgiveness etc. But, it does not sustain itself or make those realizations permanent. I am discovering new energy and baseline states through Qigong each day that are really blowing me away. I still have years of inner mastery work, self compassion, and psychedelic use ahead of me. I am just saying, be honest and realistic about where you are in life and if the tools and approaches you are using are adequate and appropriate for the results you want. Psychedelics are powerful spiritual tools. But, what do you want out of them? I will use them again in the future, maybe even next week. But, they are no longer this special thing I thought they were. It's very amazing to experience perfection. But I want Perfection.

Everyone has their own way. I don't really know what other people experience tbh. I assume lots of people struggle with bad habits, mistakes, failure etc on their road to success if they choose to take a path of personal growth. But, some people maybe are perfect. Idk. Thank you for your kind words. You are right I am exactly where I need to be. Seeing as there is no where else. I will improve.

Just got a 62 on my certification exam. I needed a 65 to pass. Here's too 700 dollar and 3 months of wasted time in the future. On top of the certification you need a years of work experience to get the certification. So, it's really only a delay and It's not really a field I see myself working in long term anyway. I just want to get an admin job so I can develop more of an income and the skills to build my own business over the next 5 years. I am grateful for seeing myself try, and can show myself some compassion even though I am not meeting my goals, I am at least trying. That is the only way to learn imo. Not just sitting around dreaming, smoking weed with my buddies, talking about what I am gonna do. It means taking action, failing, going through the suffering of not meeting your expectations and try try trying again until you get it. I KNOW in my heart I can do really well with payroll. It is SUPER nuanced, complex, with so many fine distinctions I am glad to be exposing my mind to this type of cognitive process even though its not my taste or skillset. It will be important for my long term growth. There are more changes in the future to make amends. I will be very pleased when I pass this course again in the next 2 years. It's important I review my cognitive process around failure. I felt really rather confident once I got started on the exam. I wish they would show my what question I did right and what I did wrong.. They keep it a mystery for some reason. I am trying, and that is all I can really do. My goal is to learn, so whatever it takes to learn. I must just accept reality as it comes and do my best to improve each passing day. I do love myself. I have high expectations and I tried really hard. I am happy I got a 62 because that is 100% higher than if I had just sat around doing nothing. A 62 is a sign I will surely pass next time I retake the program. It will make me eve stronger in the long run. I might even be able to write a challenge exam in the future. At least I have quit smoking weed, am about to get my diploma and a higher paying job. I can be proud of myself for trying. This was a really hard 8 months with personal issues, fake friends, ending addictions, and studying a dry technical skill I know will serve me in the long run. I will use this to embrace more self love, and more patience in the future. I will become a better student with each passing day and wont give up on my future. My success in the long run is non negotiable. Gonna take a break and then write the exam for my diploma. At least I am likely to pass that one.

take one

My facilitator told me I did not fail. My brain feels a big foggy today, as I am going through my exam review I am realizing I am not likely to pass. I need a couple more days to review. I will use this to practice surrender. This course material is too nuance, technical, and specific. I am likely to fail. I can retake the courses in a couple months, and I will likely pass on my second attempt. I am not special. I am just like everyone else in life and need to work hard for what I get. I must overcome failures, set backs, and my own bad habits or lack of skill.

I think so. I am all I have. But man, all I can do is learn from this and continue to work on my life. There is really nothing else to do. I just... these failures make me doubt my ability to pull off a powerful life. To complacent, to distracted.... I really don't have a passion for accounting. But, I want these skills. I found this program very long, very boring, very painful, very technical. So, I don't know what the future holds. I am in a shitty situation. But, here we go. I will not rest in my current psychic, financial, spiritual, habitual, situation. Just getting started with the day. Gonna review, take a nap then dive into the exams. It's two exams on the same course. I don't really have high expectations so I am using this for the long term learning experience.

I want to live a passionate life, develop powerful skills and to be a powerful creator. If I can't I will kill myself. This is do or die.

I do NOT recommend microdosing for productivity.

Jokester. There is only until the of of tomorrow to write it.

Gonna meditate, sleep and study for a bit before I attempt the next two. If I fail, I don't really know what I am going to do. I'll have to speak with someone at the school and make a plan I guess. I need to remember that... 1. Failure means I am trying, learning etc. I could have just sat around smoking weed the last 8 months but I worked my ass off on something I found really hard. 2. I am only 25 turning 26 in a few days. I have lots of time to develop my skills and I don't need to rush 3. I am all I have. This bubble of experience is the whole universe, so I might as well be easier on myself. 4. These failures will teach me about my adversity quotient, cognitive processes, study habits, areas where I lack awareness etc. Part of my dream is to help other people through similar challenging emotions and to fine greater peace. I feel a balance from my Qigong practice etc. 5. Math and accounting is something I generally consider a non-interest or weakness but something I know I will need if I want to master life. I just need to be patient with myself, do the best I can on my exams. 6. The future looks very uncertain financially. It's a struggle living paycheck to paycheck. So, the only thing worth doing is working my ass out of it. I know I can build a powerful spiritual business one day. It's just, this survival stuff is not my strength. I am so artistically and spiritually minded. I am more naturally a healer than I am an accountant. Oh well. Leo says we can build powerful businesses... I think he is right. I know I will fail more on my path to getting there. The more responsibility I take in life the more my failures will effect others. Let's see where I am in 10 years. I think 1-3 years it too soon probably. I don't know what will happen in life. Supposedly it's love, which is all I want. But, there is a lot of Bullshit here too.

Yeah but, How am I supposed to feel confident applying for jobs when I fail exams on the thing I am applying for? I think of myself as having the potential to be very successful. But, honestly math, accounting, planning etc are my weaknesses. I have good marks throughout the courses, I did well on all the quizes, assignments and midterms. But, for some reason I just really struggle with exams. I have worked as a bookkeeper and I know I am good at this job. I can do administrative work. It's not my passion, but I see it as a crucial skillset for my wider success with my music and Qigong. I need to be able to operate a business which is largely accounting, marketing, planning, etc The subject was advanced accounting... I am pretty sure I can re-take it. I just need to relax. All of these exams can be retaken in the future. The problem with Payroll Compliance certification is that I have to retake the entire course if I fail even though I did well throughout the whole course. I can retake the diploma course in a week or something. I want to be good at my job and skilled. I fail so much in my life. I know I love myself, and I am smart in other areas of life like art, Qigong and psychology etc maybe. Failure is part of the process. I just, I look at people like Leo, or Elon musk and I just think of how fucking stupid I am in comparrison. I should have money saved, a degree already. But no. Stupid wishful thinking artist the past 4 years. This coming week I will do an inventory on my behaviour to see why is it I am failing. It's gotta be something I am doing or not doing. For fucks sakes, I am not gonna give up on my dreams but I wish they weren't so bloody difficult. I know I am building something to offer the world, I know I can escape wage slavery, I know I can build a business one day. I know I can do it. But, how much failure is it gonna take? How much working some shit job, making dumbass mistakes, etc. I wish I had more money...

It's interesting. I feel like my Qi is dealing with this really well. I just am dealing with some cognitive stuff. I want to be successful. I worked like 8 months on this school. I know I can learn to be a better student! If I fail tomorrow... I have to retake two 3 month classes to get my payroll certification. I will likely still get my diploma, but thats like 6 more months of work and 1400 dollars. That takes away precious time from my life purpose and money away from ideal studies. I know I don't have to be good at everything, or get everything I want, or succeed every time and that failure is part of life. It's just, I want to know I can do it in the long run. I know I can.. My body feels filled with a loving Qi that is filling my whole body. Guess the Qigong is paying off. I think my normal tendency is to want to fight myself, bully myself and envision how everything else will go wrong. But, in reality. I don't know what the reach of it is. I assume I failed, but maybe I didn't in the end. It was a 63%, which is not ideal. Also I told other in the class what questions I had and they seem to think I had harder ones then them. Strange. Passing is a 70. I had a 90 on the midterm.. I struggled twice now in this program with doing really well on all the quizes, midterm, projects, assignments and then missing the passing mark of the exam by a few points and failing the whole thing. That happened earlier on one of my payroll compliance things.

@Mz Hyde True

@Mz Hyde I just want to be successful. I don't know how much more living as an idiot I can take.

@Mz Hyde Thank you, that is actually on my reading list. I tend to be hard on myself. I want to be successful. I have strengths but I am also a fucking idiot and a fool. On Monday I will do my adversity quotient and guide to rational living work. However, I also just got temporally terminated from work until I hand in some paperwork that will wake like 2-3 weeks to receive, and I am not doing well financially. So, my foolish karma is butt fucking me. I will improve... Or kill myself Idk which one is better option. I HATE how foolish I am.

Exactly, But, it's useful to steer the ship and have an idea of the destination or else, it's sort of.. not a journey? if you know what I mean. Personally I want to be very skilled at something and recognized for it socially and financially. But, apparently that is years away.

Leo has some good books on his reading list about this

This is all there is to do The fear is bullshit

Lol, noooo Use all the tools are they are to be used

Do your you stuff first thing in the morning before work, and rest after work. Rise earlier, sleep earlier This way also you start each day with something you love, and go to sleep knowing. you will do it first thing in the morning. Also it lets you just rest after it all when you get home. Hmm, You could lunch with them for like 20 minutes, and then go do your own thing. It's what I normally do. I read or journal on my breaks and lunch. Just, actually do it and then see how it goes.