Thought Art

MALT does not work for me, vaped or plugged. Will try snorting?

Creation and non-existence are duality. It’s a tricky thing to talk about. God is all there is. God is prior to time or creation. God created itself, because God transcends and includes itself, existed prior to itself, is completely eternal, is infinite paradox. I remember a definition given by Leo is “God is the thing that created itself” God is a verb and a noun. God is Godding. OP has a point, how can eternity have a beginning? How can something existed for ever have a beginning? How can is choose to create and be one way over another way? Infinite intelligence. infinity “The Tao can be spoken is not the eternal Tao” - Lao Tzu This is an area I need to contemplate more and have more direct experiences of. I don’t know. Technically, the universe was created… Right now. Everything Now!

You only have your own..

It’s more about having a toolkit and balanced set of practices. He wrote the book of not knowing. You don’t know what you don’t know. Oh, I can here Vernon Howard laughing in the background about a man who agrees with another mans “truths” or “facts”

@hoodrow trillson Connor Murphy or the Qanan Shaman

How Music Works

@JoeVolcano Don't preach deconstruction to people who are in a mode of construction. Just, let it go.

Seems like everyone gets shit flung on them. When you are providing so much value, it doesn't matter if a few people get turned away. Everybody gets trolls.

The king's taken back the throne The useless seed was sown When they say they're cutting off the phone Then tell 'em you're not home No place to hide You'll find there's a soldier on their side You're still a soldier in your mind But nothing's on the line You say it's money that we need As if we're the only mouths to feed I know that no matter what you say There are some debts we never pay Working for the church while your family dies You take what they give you And you keep it inside Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home Hear the soldier groan we'll got it at alone I can taste the fear Lift me up and take me out of here Don't want to fight, don't want to die Just want to hear you cry Who's gonna throw the very first stone Oh, who's gonna re set the bone Walking with your hand in a sling Wanna hear the soldier sing Working for the church while my family dies You're little baby sister's gonna lose her mind Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home Hear the soldier groan we'll got it at alone I can taste your fear It's gonna lift you up and take you out of here If the bone shot never heals I cannot make him yield You can't find me now But they're gonna get their money back somehow And when you finally disappear We'll just say you were never here Been working for the church while your life falls apart They're singing hallelujah when defeating your heart Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home Hear the soldier groan we'll got it at alone Hear the soldier groan we'll got it at alone

Hey everyone, so from time to time I can fall into depression, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts. So I thought I would write a list of the tools I’ve learned to get out of this head space. 1. Get enough sleep. When we aren’t sleeping well our brains don’t function and getting depressed or losing control of our emotions becomes very easy. 2. Call someone. Call a friend, family member or suicide/ mental health hotline. You’d be surprised how good you feel right away. Socialize. 3. Check your diet. When your diet is poor it affects your mental health. Eat healthy foods. 4. Take action! Instead of feeling hopeless and trapped take action on what you know you need or want to do. Just doing it, even when you initially don’t feel like it makes a huge difference. 5. Vent in a forum or journal. 6. Read books about cognitive behaviour and remind yourself of your values. 7. Journal, write lists, to do’s, your values, and affirmations. 8. Move your body! Exercise. Walk, run, lift weights or do yoga or Qigong. 9. Meditate, body scan, feel present. Smile into your body. 10. Let go, surrender and accept what is. Stop smoking. Damaged lungs = chronic anxiety.

inevitable is infinity

So! In the beginning There was a hum From a poet whose pulse fell Drum drum drum! He would perform prayers and all Till one day he heard a voice call Come come come! Suspicious he moved With vicious caution Dismisses, He thinks is a little often People get held back By the void inside 'em. Yo! The void said, I'm poised to speak inside you "Rejoice then please let me invite you To evil, greed and lies too." Yeah! Confused and dazed He moved in ways He soon became "Hakuna" A knock on his door, his heart is no more A knock on his door, his soul is no more Yeah That was in the beginning As the story goes on So The poets got a proposal He would always hope but never know What it feels To be free. He would be the frozen Imposed as the chosen, All laws oppose him But it would be greed. That's got him there He's power-hungry, And proud too. People don't care, people just care Evil don't care, evil just care Yeah! That was In the beginning There was a hum. Then things changed. They say It is better to light a candle than to curse the dark in the eyes of the youth There are question marks Like freedom. Freedom for the mind and soul, We don't see them. See them for their worth at all, That's why we lead'em Lead'em to these wars And what is it we feed 'em. Feed em our impurities And who it is we treat 'em Treat em like the enemy Humanity will need'em. Need 'em like the blood we spill And we're freedom Freedom for the hearts we fill We mislead 'em. They hunger for the love we give But we cheat 'em. The guys beat him and all he wants Is his freedom, So they defeat him, Whatever spirit hes got. Beat him! And they teach him The rest of the world don't need him And he believes. In the disease that hes heathen Put up your fists if all you want is freedom Put up your fists if all you want is That was in the beginning Then things changed Yeah! And we keep holdin' on, And we keep bein' strong And we keep goin' on And on and on and on ( feel like some of the lyrics are wrong here)

People aren't usually at a solid stage

They're walking around Head full of sound Acting like We don't exist They walk in the room And stare right through you Talking like We don't exist But we exist Daddy it's true I'm different from you But tell me why they treat me like this? If you turned away What would I say? Not the first betrayed by a kiss Maybe it's true They're staring at you When you walk in the room Tell 'em it's fine Stare if you like Just let us through Just let us through Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na They're down on their knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist Daddy it's fine I'm used to 'em now But tell me why they treat me like this? It's cause we do it like this Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Maybe it's true They're staring at you When you walk in the room Tell 'em it's fine Stare if you like Just let us through Just let us through Let 'em stare! Let 'em stare! If that's all they can do! But I'd lose my heart If I turned away from you Oh Daddy don't turn away You know that I'm so scared But will you watch me drown? You know we're going nowhere We know that we're young And no shit we're confused But will you watch us drown? What are you so afraid to lose? Down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist You're down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist We exist! We exist! Down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist You're down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist We exist! We exist! We exist! We exist! Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na Maybe if you hang together You can make the changes in our hearts And if you hang together, you can change us Just where should you start?

I have a lot of thoughts about this. First of all... Ya'll should know I love going to drag shows. I only say this so you can understand that I am nuanced in that I don't fit into one side or the other. In fact, I am not going to a pick a side in this conversation but... Embrace not knowing, and taking into account more and more data, opinions and statistics and events over time as I go about formulating my understanding of all the related areas of understanding here. At the same time. How I look at the world and define the world is up to me. There is is a lot nuance to be looked at here, and I sense there are higher level distinctions we can make when looking at Trans rights in society. I am aware of some stats around Trans suicide, and crimes committed against transgender people. However, don't let your emotions and fears make your thinking emotionally charged... and therefore sloppy, demonizing others on the forum etc. The actual reach this particular thread is going to have isn't likely to be that deep. So, just breath, relax... lets have a conversation. I think there is a difference between being transphobic, and hating people for their identify, sexuality and preferences and then having opinions or your own metaphysics around what a man or woman is. For me, personally. A trans person is a trans person. I call them by their preferred pronouns. I'd love to hangout and get to know you. But, I do biologically born women as women, biologically born men as men. If they are born that, and identify as that then... thats how I see it. I see a transwoman as a transwoman and a biologically born woman as a biologically born woman. I think part of the issue here, is that trans people carry with them a lot of shame, and struggle to love themselves. So, when I don't completely see you the way you want me to.. you think I hate you. But, thats not true. So, do I call Transwomen women? Yes. But, when it comes to something like a bathroom, a sport, etc... I then have to take into account many other factors that involve the concerns of other members of our communities, science, peoples paradigms, the potential for dishonest actors, etc... It's really a complicated topic. I don't want to be shunned, shamed, attacked, canceled etc for people someone who is learning, who's opinions are nuanced and complicated. Not understanding, or having opinions around gender that don't match yours... Isn't hate. I love everyone. But, I am learning. Remember, gender and even sex is a construct. But, what is what? I don't know. One of my favourite songs. Your tells are so obvious Shoulders too broad for a girl Keeps you reminded Helps you to remember where you come from You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You've got no cu** in your strut You've got no hips to shake And you know it's obvious But we can't choose how we're made You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you

@Sine Yeah, it depends on you and your needs and relationships. Hotline help, you can just vent to them because they are paid to help you. Friends, I would just call to say hey and talk casually about things and have a good time.

@LSD-Rumi bipolar, maybe. It's likely more complex. Don't know.

I can't speak for Leo. But I saw how Connor treated the forum and how he treated Leo when Leo tried to ground over the phone. He dragged actualized.org through the dirt with his antics. Connor at one point, was making almost pretty decent posts on the forum. I think he really liked Leo's videos but... He does in like a fool. Fools rush in. I saw that he was a Zen Devil pretty early on. He has the operating system of a clown and then starting trying to become spiritual, then abused psychedelics, (I think he misunderstood what they actually were doing to him). He is professional fitness guru and clown. We can't expect him to be a sage overnight. It was like adding jet fuel to an open flame.

Aren't there like, different brands of shampoo etc that have different ingredients?

I second this. Though, I will call you a woman, or your preferred pronouns because I respect you as a human and conscious being. I believe in transgender rights, and the rights of all groups. But, I also have some nuanced opinions and I am still learning. Gender roles, words, labels, etc are a construct of our minds. I have reported mod bejapuskas for over stepping. Stating your opinion on gender or sexuality does not equate hating someone. I dislike seeing that form of moderation because it makes me afraid to post nuanced things. Rules around segregation, laws, etc are an on going thing we all as a community need to work through and understand. We all have rights here. When it comes to things like sports... theres more nuance there than simply hating someone and not wanting them to compete. In fact, sports are sort of silly that way in general because of a almost arbitrary nature of the categories we use. I realize this is a difficult topic. But, we need to ensure we remain understanding that not everyone sees things the way you do. Just because I am not a Jew, or a muslim and I don't think they are absolutely true does not mean I hate anyone.

Seems right to me. Both green and blue embrace spirituality but green is generally more open. Blue tends to be dogmatic about religion and spirituality

Quit that shiiiit lol. It's worth it.

Got it https://www.amazon.ca/Outlines-Pyrrhonism-Sextus-Empiricus/dp/0879755970

I don't know how to spell it, did anyone catch it?

So, recently at a networking event in my city I met a girl and it was love at first site for me. I could tell she was interested in me as well by her facial expression and her energy. I had never felt that level of energetic connection in a long time. It started to wake up parts of my nervous system that I think lay dormant most of the time. She got my instagram and she wanted to hang out and meditate with me, and we were gonna talk more about what we do. I teach Qigong, she is a life coach. But, I realized that this love... This amazing female love energy. That I want more than anything... Brings with it so much pain, fear, and doubt. I over think, obsess and then I avoid. I asked her to hang out. She didn't respond all day and I kept checking my phone. Then, when I saw she had read it and didn't respond... I unfriended her and unsent the messages. I told her, I had a crush on her and so I would need to avoid her. She was just at the spa. Nothing was wrong with the situation. Just my insides, unconscious beliefs and mental filters. Neurotic. Disorganized attachment style. I did some tests, and I have an avoidant/ disorganized attachment style. I think I will need a coach before I start dating. So, I will need more income to afford a coach. So, right now my main focus is business, networking, achievement and developing more earnings. Then, I will begin dating again. There are so many potential mates out there I could fall deeply in love with and create a good life with. I have to be patient with myself and my fears and traumas and go about dating in a slow, intelligent way because it just hurts way to much. As soon as I have feelings for someone it feels like I am being stabbed in a the chest. Which, obviously means I can't love fully yet. A deep intimate relationship that is long term is one of my main goals in life. But, it much come from a solid foundation I am currently building.