Thought Art

Simply sexual options change

I’ve made this explicit to myself, and will continue to develop this understanding. Too much to get into here. Basically, she’s physically attractive, we have chemistry and she is rather developed… in a nut shell. It’s become clear to me I want a long term intimate relationship. I’m feeling into it right now. I also know I really like sex and want a lot more of it. I have a deep desire to connect deeply with a woman for a long period of time. I want to develop a deep connection, friendship and life together with a woman. I want to be in love.

@NoSelfSelf Okay

@NoSelfSelf Yeah, but you won’t be gaming at 50…

But game is only for initial attraction. Ideally men also develop some real value to be able to keep to woman. Plus, you likely won’t be doing pickup forever. Opportunity in life has expiration dates. Which is why action is so important when we are young. We want to build our lives, finances, skills, experiences etc. Now, so we can enjoy the fruits of our labour when we get older.

Hey, I know the feeling and how crushing it can be. Be patient through rejections as they come. Keep dating, meeting people and getting experience. Keep working on your self love as well. I believe we will find good women in time and have healthy long relationships.

Thank you

It’s more about state than thought

Haha… that’s false for sure. Perhaps it’s about a balance.

I really need some kind of balance

Understanding bias

Have you taken the life purpose course?

@strika Yeah, I didn’t ejacualte or orgasm. I think we had sex like 6 times and I came 2 times. I think she came more than me. It was definitely healthy.

Haven’t read it, but by the sounds of it it’s a good ready.

@jdc7733 Well, maybe there are types of infinity or degrees of infinity. Not all infinity are made equal.

@strika I don’t know man. I didn’t orgasm each time. Human touch is so so so important. I don’t deny the validity entirely of these spiritual techniques that avoid sex. Personally sex is part of my spirituality, and something I value.

@Applegarden8 haha, it was pretty wild

Just had sex 5 nights in a row. Very healing actually! I felt more myself, more energized and happy.

What do you mean? Try to give more detail in your posts so people can engage with them.

Or, just find a different girl.

The king's taken back the throne The useless seed is sown When they say they're cutting off the phone I tell 'em you're not home No place to hide You were fighting as a soldier on their side You're still a soldier in your mind Though nothing's on the line You say it's money that we need As if we're only mouths to feed I know no matter what you say There are some debts you'll never pay Working for the Church while your family dies You take what they give you and you keep it inside Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone" I can taste the fear Lift me up and take me out of here Don't wanna fight, don't wanna die Just wanna hear you cry Who's gonna throw the very first stone? Oh! Who's gonna reset the bone? Walking with your head in a sling Wanna hear the soldier sing: "Been working for the Church while my family dies Your little baby sister's gonna lose her mind Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home" Hear the soldier groan "We'll go at it alone. I can taste your fear It's gonna lift you up and take you out of here And the bone shall never heal I care not if you kneel We can't find you now But they're gonna get the money back somehow And when you finally disappear We'll just say you were never here Working for the church while your life falls apart Singing halleluiah with the fear in your heart Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone" Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"

@StarStruck okay

I asked ChatGPT to describe Fearful Avoidant attachment style; The Fearful-Avoidant attachment style, also known as Disorganized or Anxious-Avoidant attachment, is a complex and often contradictory attachment pattern. Individuals with this style exhibit a blend of characteristics associated with both Avoidant and Anxious attachment styles. Here are some key features of the Fearful-Avoidant attachment style: 1. **Ambivalence**: People with this attachment style have a deep desire for emotional closeness and intimacy, but they also fear it. They may crave a close relationship but struggle with the vulnerability it entails. 2. **Mixed Signals**: They may send mixed signals in relationships, alternating between seeking closeness and pushing others away. This behavior can be confusing to both themselves and their partners. 3. **Past Trauma**: Often, this attachment style develops as a result of past traumatic experiences or inconsistent caregiving during childhood. They may have experienced both moments of comfort and moments of fear or neglect from their caregivers. 4. **Fear of Rejection**: Fearful-Avoidant individuals are afraid of being rejected or abandoned, which can lead to high levels of anxiety in relationships. 5. **Difficulty Trusting**: Due to past experiences, they may find it challenging to trust others fully. They may anticipate that others will hurt or disappoint them. 6. **Self-Sabotage**: They tend to sabotage their own relationships, often when they become too close or when things start going well. This self-sabotage is a way to protect themselves from potential hurt. 7. **Inner Conflict**: There is often a significant inner conflict between their desire for closeness and their fear of vulnerability. This can lead to emotional turmoil and indecision. 8. **Low Self-Esteem**: They may have low self-esteem and believe that they are unworthy of love or that they will inevitably be rejected. 9. **Inconsistency**: Their behavior can be inconsistent, and they may have difficulty maintaining stable, long-term relationships. 10. **Therapy and Self-Reflection**: Therapy can be particularly beneficial for individuals with a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style to explore and work through the underlying fears and unresolved issues contributing to their attachment patterns. It's important to remember that attachment styles are not fixed, and with self-awareness and therapeutic support, individuals with a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style can develop more secure and fulfilling relationships over time.

I’ve been working on this. I found going tree planting to be so healthy for meeting people. I’ve been in cabins in the woods with a bunch of 20 year olds for the past month. So healthy, very healing and I’ve grown a lot! 30 + people I think. Each day is a lesson. In my city I’ve been going to more social events and believe I’m in the process of building a social circle. I now see it’s value and importance of maintaining, pruning and cultivating my relationship and community.

@The Redeemer I don’t know the answer to that. But, suspect there is a good book, or section in a book on attachment theory that has tips, tricks and exercises. Could be worth going on amazon and reading the table of contents to find that answer. Or, just google that exact question or ask ChatGPT. I asked ChatGPT “What are the most important principles in effective human relating: The most important principles for success in human relationships include: 1. **Communication**: Effective and open communication is crucial. Listen actively, express yourself clearly, and show empathy toward others' perspectives. 2. **Trust**: Build and maintain trust by being reliable, honest, and consistent in your actions and words. 3. **Respect**: Treat others with respect, valuing their feelings, opinions, and boundaries. Mutual respect is the foundation of healthy relationships. 4. **Empathy**: Try to understand and validate the emotions and experiences of others, which fosters a deeper connection. 5. **Boundaries**: Establish and respect personal boundaries to ensure both individuals' comfort and autonomy. 6. **Conflict Resolution**: Learn how to manage conflicts constructively, seeking solutions rather than escalating disagreements. 7. **Support**: Offer support and be there for others during challenging times. A supportive presence strengthens relationships. 8. **Quality Time**: Spend quality time together, nurturing the connection through shared experiences and activities. 9. **Appreciation**: Express gratitude and appreciation for the people in your life regularly. 10. **Self-Care**: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally, as your well-being influences your ability to maintain healthy relationships. 11. **Forgiveness**: Be willing to forgive and let go of grudges when appropriate, as forgiveness can lead to healing and growth. 12. **Flexibility**: Adapt to change and be open to compromise when necessary. 13. **Equality**: Promote equality and fairness in your relationships, ensuring that power dynamics are balanced. 14. **Authenticity**: Be true to yourself and encourage others to do the same. Authenticity fosters genuine connections. 15. **Patience**: Understand that relationships take time to develop and evolve, and not everything happens instantly. These principles can help you build and maintain fulfilling, positive relationships with friends, family, romantic partners, and colleagues. Remember that successful relationships require ongoing effort and communication from all parties involved.