Thought Art

So far your approach seems fair if you want to go deeper. If it’s a problem we can just clean it up. —- I agree that as a man it is healthy to have developed sexual abundance. Your ability to get sex is great for life value and being confident in your sexuality, status and energy is both attractive to her and feels good to you in and of itself. Avoid chasing girls and falling into the trap of one-itis. There are many girls, and many of them can seem special, incredible and… you know… in the moment. Doesn’t mean it’s true. Fall in love with WOMEN, not a woman. Then, every girl you see is you’re lover whether you date or have sex with them. You can love women in many ways! Which is definitely a feature to reality. They are you! Go for abundance, go for enjoying the company of women, go for having fun, building connection, getting experience. Women are amazing.

Your mind is tricking you. You can be skinny and be attractive. But, also working through your stuff and learning to love women in a mature way will go far. What you need is more conscious and self love. The more you love women, and the more you love yourself you’ll have better results. It can take time to work through that. Building some muscle can help, purifying your mind and heart can help, loving and respecting yourself, others and women can help as well. Put in some healthy effort to improve your looks. I think that is actually healthy. I know when I feel relaxed, funny, sexy and flirtatious women respond very well to that. The energy and framing you go into situations is very important. Don’t assume one women’s preferences are that of all women. They can vary greatly. Be mindful of all the bullshit from social media telling you “what’s attractive”. Simply socialize more. Get direct experience. Do some practices and keep working through your bullshit. On the other side of bullshit… is so much love you wouldn’t believe. Take building your self esteem, self image, self love very seriously. Also, go about working through all the bullshit ideas fed to you on social media via direct experience.

Read books about the lives if these people and how they become they way they are. Contemplate it. Trip once or twice. Feel. Contemplate.

Can be a useful video to watch. Contemplate change, and go through it consciously.

I’ve been sleeping with a girl for the past week. Though I did enjoy the first one because we have good chemistry, I notice the more we do it the better it gets.

I’m starting to feel a bit pessimistic about being successful. I’m 27, have debts from being scammed, and student loan debts. I don’t have a great paying job or a job I love. I feel like I don’t have the time to master anything. I’m gonna spend all day working for some asshole. Is my life worth living now? I should have invested my teens and 20s into escaping wage slavery. Now I’m wondering if it’s possible. But, back then I had no idea it was a thing. I e been dealing with suicidal thoughts creeping in more and more. I try to be positive and proactive. I want to build a good life. But, my debts, rent, food, bills, and my age are locking me in to a mediocre grind. I won’t do that for 40 more years and then die. I either find a way to run my own business or die. I’m afraid of dying and don’t want to make things worse or hurt my family. But, I have little interest in just living for the sake of it. I want to enjoy my existence. Not be a slave to survive my whole life.

Hmm, the mind is a labyrinth

It’s definitely true, but there is also the ability to love the other which I really struggle with.

I deeply want a girlfriend and a healthy conscious relationship. In a few years I’m sure I’ll make posts about what a healthy relationship I now have how great my business is going how well my finances are how deep my awakening is how much love I experience How great my Qigong and music is

I’m more focused right now I’m seeing reality clearly. I am focused on creating an optimistic mindset despite this set back. I am focusing on rest when not at work, and meditating each day. This is helping. I am for sure also experiencing a deep longing for love, connection, intimacy but also not rushing into things so needy like I’ve done in the past. I’m experiencing a lot, and working to observe it objectively. Working on self love and self care. Surely, there is a lot of work to be done to get my life where it needs to be. My life has many many many failures. But, also many small successes. I want to learn how to love more fully and without fear, pain, defensiveness, etc. I’d like to heal my anxious avoidant tendencies. It’s extremely painful and frustrating because I’d like to be in a stable long term relationship with a woman I love. I suspect it will be worth it but will take time, and many failures to realize. I’ll have to work some jobs I don’t like over the coming years to survive and pay down debts. I have free time at times which I will use to keep growing my Qigong knowledge, and all the systems I need in place in order to build my online business; email list, courses, workshops, membership site, etc I really don’t know what the future holds but I do suspect I can become wise, mature, and relatively successful in my relationships, finances and business. I will work to overcome learned helplessness, depression, anxiety, and etc I’ll learn to love. I’ll spend more time around women, especially the beautiful ones with great personalities. The ones I want deep down. The ones who trigger my anxious avoidant tendencies. I need more experience to heal these scars. Tree planting, as I am right now, I met a girl who triggered my feels. I like her, and have strong feelings so, due to my attachment style I stopped looking at her and talking to her when possible. I’m fact I feel angry at her for my feelings toward her. This, is not a love I feel for her. But an infatuated anxiety of an immature mind.

@Nilsi Hey, what would a good search term be for me to start looking for these types of jobs? What is the potential earnings?

Reality is structurally strange

2 hrs? Nope

We will figure it out. Be patient.

I’m going to observe my self and situation as objectively as possible

@Ulax I do a few. It helps, it doesn’t fix everything

Rip pete

I may start a journal. I find something about posting some of this different than just writing or contemplating

I’m going to continue working through all my stuff. I have to believe I can heal, that I can course correct, that I can make something of this life.

I don’t want to feel like my love, or attraction to women is a problem because I can’t handle it. I hate it. I just want love… I hate meeting women and then getting crushes on them. I hate it.

I’m so tired of being single i want to love and be loved

I’ve definitely had experiences that weren’t terrifying but positive and like “oh yeah”. Then, others that were scary. So, idk.

To balance out my previous post. I am also kind, respectful, considerate, conscientious in many contexts

I think I lack emotional stability, maturity, character and an understanding of cause and effect. I also have a lot of fears, insecurities and limiting beliefs. I deal with a lot of negative emotions like: distrust, anger, resentment, etc. I struggle to relate with others. I also have an anxious avoidant attachment style and hyper vigilance at times. I can be petty and unkind. I can be short sighted and prone to wishful thinking. I spend a lot of time feeling extremely lonely and self pitying. I had a new thought yesterday about what the cost of all this negative neurotic thinking is. It’s costing me everything. My ability to think, contemplate and act base on truth and higher principles will be what allows me to go from relatively shitty living to something higher. It will take me about 3-5 years to get my finances and business stuff together. I’m sure there will be lots of challenges. I should stick it through and build… something. Maybe I won’t be an Osho, or a Leo Gura, or an Arcadefire or a Bon Iver. But I can be me. I found God On the corner of First and Amistad Where the west Was all but won But all alone Smoking his last cigarette I said, "Where you been?" He said, "Ask anything" "Where were you When everything was falling apart? Where all my days Were spent by a telephone That never rang And all I needed was a call That never came To the corner of First and Amistad?" Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me Well, in the end Everyone ends up alone But losing her The only one who's ever known Who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be No way to know How long she will be next to me Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me For early morning The city breaks But I've been calling For years and years and years and years And you never left me no messages You never sent me no letters You got some kind of nerve Taking all I want Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Where were you, where were you? Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me Why'd you have to wait To find me, to find me?